Please click here to download this audio clip of Girth McDürchstein berating his rhythm guitarist, Little Riffs Nicky, during the recording of a never-completed song, "Street Cock."

If you are unfamiliar with the studio recording process, allow me to explain a few things. The loud, somewhat distorted sound of Girth McDürchstein's voice is coming through what's called the "talkback," a cheap speaker connected to an equally cheap microphone to allow communication between the engineer's booth and the studio space (it's also routed through the headphones). Nicky's voice and guitar was taken from a free-standing microphone nearby (as opposed to the mic fixed on the amplifier, through which Nicky's responses are inaudible). A transcript follows:

[music plays]

Girth McDürchstein: No, no, no.
Little Riffs Nicky: What?
GM: Don't you hear it? It sounds terrible. It should go like this. [unintelligible] You're playing it all wrong. Do it again.

[music plays]

GM: That sucked. It goes like this [unintelligible].
LRN: But—
GM: But nothing. Play it again.

[music plays]

GM: Christ, Riffs, you have gotta be the worst goddamn guitarist I've ever fuckin' met. Can't you hear that bassline? Can't you hear how it's supposed to go? Even Mikey can play the fuckin' riff. Play it right, goddammit.
LRN: Yes, sir.

[music plays]

GM: No. God fucking dammit, Riffs. Can't you hear what you're doing wrong?
LRN: No—
GM: Fuck. Fuck. You play it right, or you get out of my fucking studio, you hear me?
LRN: Yes, sir.

[music plays]

GM: You suck, Riffs. You suck. You're terrible at your goddamn instrument. It goes like this [unintelligible]. Get the fuck out.
LRN: But—
GM: Get out. I'll play the goddamn part. Practice tonight, come back tomorrow only if you know what the fuck you're doing.
LRN: But—
GM: If you don't get out of that fuckin' room in five minutes, I will murder you and your family.
LRN: [sigh] Yes, sir.

[instruments disconnecting]