[Star Trek answers to "Why did the chicken cross the road?"]
Dr. Bashir: It probably heard about my amazing medical skills not to mention my sexual prowess and came to get some pointers.
B'Elanna: I'm sure it felt suffocated by all the bleeping regulations of bleeping Starfleet and just couldn't stand it any longer!
Bones: Dammit, I'm a doctor, not an ornithologist!
The Borg: Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.
Chakotay: Whatever its reason, whatever its goals, we should respect its right to cross the road and seek its own spiritual awareness.
Nurse Chapel: Oh, Spock!
Charlie X: Because it didn't want to STAY...STAY...STAY...
Chekov: It must have been on its way to assist in saving my life for the billionth time..did I scream this time?
Dr. Crusher: If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe.
Data: The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by an kind of combustion-propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of...yes, sir.
Dax: To get to the other side. Kurzon might have disagreed with me, Tobin I'm sure wouldn't have had a clue, and then there's...
Geordi: Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll have more luck with women than I do.
Gul Dukat: Well, that's a very interesting question...I'm sure we can work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information that will be to everyone's satisfaction.
Harry: I don't know, it's my first mission.
HoloDoc: How should I know? No one tells me anything around here. I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew. All I know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the road, if it had remembered to turn me off!
Mr. Homn:
Hugh the Borg: Maybe it just needed a big hug!
Jake: Check out the babe that just came off that transport!
Janeway: Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha Quadrant...and it probably misses its dog.
Kes: It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors crossed roads all the time! They lost those abilities because they stopped using them!
Khan: With my last breath I spit at the chicken...
Kira: It was probably being chased by those cursed Cardassians.
Kirk: You chicken bastard, you killed my son...YOU chicken BASTARD, you killed...my SON...you CHICKEN bastard....youkilledmy...son!
Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Lwaxana: Oh, Jean-Luc!
Harvey Mudd: Chicken? I don't remember any chicken. No no no, there's been a terrible misunderstanding.
The Grand Nagus: Stupid chicken! You don't cross the road all at once! You sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing!
Neelix: Actually, Captain, I'm not really familiar with the chickens in this system. But, if you can catch it, I can cook it.
O'Brien: No problem, Commander, I'll get right on it.
Odo: I don't know, but I'm sure it must be Quark's fault.
Paris: Well, I think that...say, that's a lovely shirt you're wearing.
Picard: There are four lights!
Q: Wouldn't you like to know? Too bad your puny human brain wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer.
Quark: Who, me?
Riker: I don't know why, but I know how: with pleasure, sir.
Gene Roddenberry: To boldly go where no chicken had gone before.
Sarek: Sometimes logic fails me where chickens are concerned.
Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain!
Scotty: Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.
Sisko: It was seeking deeper meaning. Jake, do you see what we've learned from all this?
Dr. Soran: His heart just wasn't in it. (Scenes of chicken torture with nanoprobes have been edited out.)
Spock: Fascinating, Captain.
Sulu: Don't call me Tiny!
Tasha: That depends...was it fully functional?
Troi: I feel the chicken's pain!
Tuvok: That's not a question we'd prefer to hear from a senior officer. It makes the junior officers nervous.
Uhura: Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir?
V'Ger: To join with the Creator.
Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal whootchacallit on the computers and...
Worf: KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.