Barbeque Time
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It can be hard trying to train your humans as they have traits that are very hard to understand. I came to live with Michael and Polly when I was 8 weeks old and from the first day, every time I did a poop they would gather it up in a bag and save it in a large bin outside. This they have done now for five years, what they can be saving it for I have no idea. The only conclusion I have come to is that their poop must be inferior to mine and that is why they hide my specimins away.
| MORE OF MY OBSERVATIONS | Canines can break wind and look innocent at the same time, something humans have yet to master. Don't try and teach them as it will only embarass them. |
| However much you are brushed you will never go bald. This infuriates humans, especially the bald ones |
| If a friend offers you fleas, always accept. It's rude not to share so remember to share them with everyone at home |
Encourage your humans to take you to visit elderly relatives. They're always dropping food on the floor. It's your duty to eat every last morsel. Don't forget to have a good chew at the bits encrusted in the shagpile.
Eat your meals as quickly as possible. If your human shouts "Eating it like that will make you sick" always try to oblige as they do like to be right.