When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.



When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.



When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.



All I ask is that you listen. Not talk or do, just hear me. Advice is cheap: 50 cents will get you both Dorothy Dix and Dr Spock in the same newspaper. And I can do for myself I'm not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.



When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself you contribute to my fear and weakness. But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.



And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice. So, please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; and I'll listen to you.



 (Author Unknown)