Shadowed2

Normal Human Warrior Spotted!

Yes folks, this rare find in the wilds of Ayenee has been spotted, ducking through a rather peculier forest, composed mainly of dead or dying bushes, thick marshes, and the stench of decay all around (pretty standard place really, the kind of place where young demons would take their sweethearts or somesuch...) - I came across a horde of Skeletons assaulting a poor, defenseless, Ayeneean warrior, armed with nothing but his wits, a short sword, and a great deal of sweat. Moving in carefully, I observed the creature, careful not to interrupt it in it's native habitat, carefully recording the primitive sounds it was uttering... I am told by my editor that they are actually so similar to the swear words which our language uses that we are not allowed to print them! I suppose it's all well and good, there may very well be children, or strict creationists, who would object to such things...

As the battle wore on, I managed to creep closer, and even to shout from the back of the Skeletal horde, "Excuse me, sir, Are you in fact, a normal warrior?" - to which a furry of these strange sounds erupted from it, followed in part by a phrase which sounded like it was asking for help.. Most curious, but I continued, "What.. what is your name?" - I managed to hear a bleated "Torak" before he was again forced to parry and smash another of the seemingly infinate horde to pieces. Bleeding and worn, he could obviously not last much longer without help, obviously I needed to finish my interview quickly...

His final words before another surge of adrenilin kicked in and he managed to break from the ring of Skeletons and come hurtling at me, swords flailing in some sort of obscene ritual of thanks, were rather touching, and have inspired me to write this article on his behalf - "They will sing legends of me and this battle... Problem is, I want to be around to hear them." - I also, obviously, wished to be around to sing them, and as such, I could not be thanked for my interview, something about not helping him out when he could have been killed....

TOP TEN:
Native Explainations for the big shiny metals things in the sky that are blowing up...

10. "What are they? That's the gods My friend, and their angry with our taking their names..
9. "No you leatherheaded Barmy! That's the gods of course! But their happy with us, that's why their giving us such wonderful fireworks!"
8. "I don't know, but there's certainly been a lot more damage to the roof recently with all these chunks of metal raining down... It's great when it hit's a customer, 'cause you get to see it bounce off! Then they fly up and try to act all tough and" *At this point, the person trails off aimlessly...*
7. "Well, I dunno'it, and I dun like'it, but sure things is if they don't go away soon, they'll have a might'bit of talkin to old Remington here..."
6. "The Planets are aligning and new stars are born to take the place of our old, wasted world, the END IS NEAR! THE END IS NEAR!!!"
5. "Oh it's just a bunch of those Saiyan idiots posing..."
4. "Wait, You can see them too? Damn, I though I just got a bit too much Bloodwyne in me..."
3. "I don't believe it's what "Those Things in the sky" are - I believe it is this obsession with the lights in the skies that tells me something about your unconcious mind, in fact, I believe the "Lights in the Skies" as you call them, are merely a symbol of the greater things you have yet to attain in life, and instead of working to achieve them, you have displaced them into your own visual..." *At this point, I turned and ran...*
2. "Dude, Shiny things in the Sky? Where? I haven't left this Tavern for Months!"
And the Number 1 Explaination for those shiny things in the sky is:

1. "Those? Oh it's an invading fleet of Starships from the planet Nerima, the NDI has taken an initiative to try and eliminate the chaos in Ayenee which they see as dangerous, but a great many other fleets have arrived in orbit to stop them, and, predictably, their fighting..."
-Ed's Note "Heh, Some of these I thought were crazy, but this takes the cake!"

The Gay Elves Association (GEA) is apparently interested in forming a faction house within Ayenee. Too many elves have been called pansies unjustly for their girlish figures, and generally non-violent ways in this land fo chaos. Of course, all are welcome to attend, even if you are not a Homo-sexual elf yourself, Humans are generally discouraged, but not forbidden, and all will be invited to share their thoughts on what may be a touchy issue to all involved.

As customary, no fighting will be allowed within the asociation's halls.

Classifieds:
Not a large amount this week, but we're still here!

The Dwarvern Thane, Lord Goldthirst, of the Bronzehold Dwarves, has issued a proclaimation to all Dwarves in the land. It has come to his attention, that there are FAR too few Dwarves out and about in the Realms of Ayenee, and he encourages them to come from their holes, perhaps develop trading routes between the respective holdings for the mutual profit of all, in addition to the stabalizing influence they would provide due to the superior strength and wisdom of the Dwarvern Race.

A Public Service Announcement:
We have become somewhat concerned about the amount of silver appearing about Ayenee, and must advice a few cautionary measures when the payment with such a metal is given:

On the by and large, it is considered impolite to pay a werebeast of any kind with Silver, given the violent reaction some of them are prone to experience when handling the metal.

As well, with fiends, and indeed most creatures from the lower planes, there exists a vulnerability to silver weapons, as such, payment with Silver is considered to be, at the best, a grevious insult, at the worst, a invitation to battle to the death. Gold and other alternative currencies are obviously preferred...

This Space for Rent!
Haven't you always wanted to be a part of Ayenee's most circulated Newsrag? Feel the need to put the word out there, no matter how stupid, imbecilic, or likely to be have your unique ideas plagerised blatantly by the common folk they might be? Well, I can't garuntee you won't recieve hate mail for associating with the Shadowed Corner, but your welcome to submit damn near anything into our pages!