
                                    A MATCHMAKER IN TOKYO
                          PART FOUR: Alls at the Fair in Love
and War


(Nabiki and Aisa are in Nabikis bedroom. The two face each other
silently; Nabiki seated on her
desk chair, Aisa perched on the edge of the bed.)

NABIKI: Lets get down to business. For starters, *who* are you?

AISA: (shrugs) Im...who you think I am. My name is Aisa
Valenzuela, and Im from the 
Philippines. I came to the Tendo dojo to learn martial
arts...that and to bring Ranma and Akane 
together.

NABIKI: Hows that? Hmmm... Well, I guess its not that hard to
believe that a complete stranger
would get as frustrated about those two as we are.

AISA: Right!

NABIKI: So thats what you were up to with the signs. (shakes
head) You know, I used to find this
on/off relationship of theirs amusing, but now its just plain
getting on my nerves. I mean, 
repair costs for the roof and dojo come in everyday! This has
gotta stop.

AISA: I know. Especially when its so obvious to everyone else
that theyre meant for each other.

(Nabiki begins to eye her shrewdly.)

NABIKI: Hmmm... So youre a matchmaker, huh? How sure are you
that you can get those two 
together?

AISA: Oh, Im very sure! I mean, I better... (laughs nervously,
remembering Rumiko Takahashis 
face)

NABIKI: Well, Im just curious. The possibilities of this have
just occurred to me. Theres a 
standing bet pool going on in school. If we team up, we could
make loads of money.

AISA: Thats a great idea! I just might even make enough to buy
some Fushigi Yuugi novels. 
Nabiki, youre a genius.

NABIKI: Just doing what comes naturally. Still, its great to be
appreciated by *someone* around 
here. (She whips out two glasses of champagne.) Cheers! I think
this could be the start of a 
beautiful friendship.

AISA: Cheers! (sips from the wine glass, then immediately gags)

NABIKI: Have you got a new battle plan ready?

AISA: Who, me? Of course! In fact, its your presence, Nabiki,
that gave it to me.

                                        *  *  *  *  *

(That weekend, Ranma, Akane and Aisa are at the carnival.)

AKANE: Coming to the fair was a good idea, Aisa. Im glad you
thought of it.

AISA: Thanks! [Heh! Little does she know about my true motives
for bringing them here! Seeing 
Nabiki reminded me that in one of the anime episodes, a fortune
teller told Kuno that Nabiki 
would be the girl he would marry. That sure made *him* look at
her in a new light. That lasted 
only temporarily, but Im still going to try to do the same for
these two...only Im playing for
keeps!] Hey, look guys! Theres the fortune tellers tent!

AKANE: Oh? Where?

AISA: Come on! (dragging her by the arm) Lets go have our
fortunes told.

AKANE: (giggles) OK. Im for it.

RANMA: Oh, come on, fortune tellings for girls. (He stiffens
abruptly as Akane and Aisa both 
prepare to throw a bucket of water at him.) All right, all right!
Ill go. Guess I asked for 
that.

(They join the sizeable line outside the tent. Aisa taps her feet
impatiently, grumbling. Ranma 
and Akane are then surprised when she starts elbowing her way
forward over the protesting people 
in front of her, to become the next in line.)

RANMA: (blinking) Geez. She sure is determined to find out what
*her* fortune is. (He turns 
around and starts to look around him. His eyes light up
suddenly.) Awright! Theyve got that 
goldfish catching stall. (He runs toward it delightedly.)

STALL OWNER: No...it cant be! Please not you again!

RANMA: Heh heh. Better believe it, old man. (pushes sleeves up in
anticipation)

AKANE: Honestly, Ranma. Dont you tire of this?

STALL OWNER: Please, listen to the wise lady. Ive got three of
my own to feed...

RANMA: (flips him a coin) There. One hundred yens still the
price, right?

(The stall owner breaks down and starts bawling. Akane shakes her
head and looks away, disgusted 
with both. She searches the line outside the tent.) 

AKANE: Wheres Aisa? Oh. There she is. (She waves back at Aisa
inside the tent. Aisa waves back, 
and she returns her attention to Ranma.)

RANMA: Yaaaaahhhh!!!! (His hands fly at a dizzying speed as
goldfish after goldfish lands in a 
bowl of water. A crowd begins to form around them. The stall
owner covers his face with his hands
in grief.)



(Meanwhile, inside the fortune tellers tent...)

AISA: All right. Heres the deal. I give you this big bag of
money... 

(She lays a bag on the small round table. Theres a sound of
metal clinking against each other, 
and the fortune tellers eyes widen with greed.) 

AISA: Ill give you all this in exchange for a favor.

FORTUNE TELLER: Anyting. Anyting you want! You want good
fortune? I give you best of house!

AISA: No, its not for myself. (She parts the flap of the tent
halfway.) Do you see that short-
haired girl over there? Standing by the goldfish stall?

(Just then, Akane spots her and waves to her. Aisa waves back.)

FORTUNE TELLER: Oh. That one.

AISA: Yes. See that dark-haired boy beside her?

FORTUNE TELLER: (squinting) I see the back of head.

AISA: Well, never mind. (closes flap of tent) Theyll come in
here seperately. Heres what 
fortune youll give to them. Tell the girl that that man is the
man shes meant to be
with forever. Tell the guy to stop being such a jerk and just
admit his feelings to her. Finally. 
OK? Got that?

FORTUNE TELLER: Got that. Oke-dokey.

                                      *  *  *  *  *

(Aisa steps out of the tent, and into the bright sunshine. She
squints. She cant see Ranma or 
Akane through the dense crowd that had formed around them. She is
just about to join
them when a bright blue sign to her left catches her eye. Hear
fascinating story LIVE, the sign 
proclaimed. Underneath it was scrawled, "Freaks of Jusenkyo". 

AISA: Hmmm... What a strange coincidence. (unconsciously she
starts to walk toward the sign) My 
friend WordCobbler and I were planning to write a fanfic with
that same exact title! How weird.

(She comes to a dead stop. Her back turned to her, there is a
girl on top of a platform with 
reddish-brown hair.)

AISA: No, it cant be. Not...Sharon-chan?!

(The girl turns around at the mention of her name. A grin splits
her sunny face into two. She 
jumps down the stage.)

SHARON: Dreamspinner! I cant believe its you. Whatre you doing
here?

AISA: I think thats supposed to be my line. WordCobbler, Im
really confused. Arent you 
supposed to be in Canada right now? And whats with the getup and
this "Freaks of Jusenkyo" 
thingamajigg? (She gestures to Sharons elaborate Chinese
costume.)   

SHARON: I hope you dont mind my borrowing our title. But its
the only way I could persuade them
to take me to Japan with them.

AISA: Whos "them"?!

SHARON: (throws her arms in a wide gesture that encompasses the
whole fair) The circus of course!

AISA: (jaw drops open) Youve joined the *circus*?!

SHARON: Yup. Isnt it amazing? I thought to myself, I have to see
Japan, so I signed up. Im a 
storyteller here. I weave tales about strange kids who turn into
something else when hit with 
cold water.

AISA: (mouth still hanging open in schock) How original.

SHARON: (smiles widely) Oh shut up! Ill have you know my act is
quite a hit around here. (She 
playfully punches the still catatonic Aisa on the arm.) But
enough about me. What have you been 
up to?

AISA: Er...do you have a lot of time till youre next act? 
  
SHARON: I think so. Why?

AISA: Well, I think you better sit down for this one... 

                                       *  *  *  *  *

(Ryoga trudges wearily across the carnival grounds, barely able
to keep one foot in front of the 
other. He is oblivious to the merrymaking going on around him. He
tilts his faceupward to the 
serene blue sky wistfully.)

RYOGA: [Oh, Akane. How long I have journeyed this time, just to
catch another glimpse of your 
beautiful face, and to have you hold me in your arms. If only you
were here with me now, I 
could-]

(Just then, the wind carries Akanes voice to him.)

AKANE: Honestly, Ranma...

RYOGA: Huh? That was Akanes voice! Shes here! Along with that
cursed Ranma...

(He approaches a crowd and makes his way to the front, just in
time to witness Ranma cry out and 
deliver his finishing move. The last goldfish lands in the bowl.
Ranma faces the crowd and bows 
arrogantly. He is stunned when not a clap is given to him. He
opens an eye. Everyone is looking 
at him wide-eyed, expressions of incredulity on their faces. He
glances at Akane. Her eyes are 
narrowed in disgust.)

AKANE: Idiot.

(He looks down with dread and gulps. *He* is a girl.)

MALE SPECTATOR #1: Incredible! That guy changed into a girl!

RANMA-CHAN: [Of course! While I was catching all the goldfish, a
lot of water was spraying onto 
me. Oops!] 

(She glances back at the gaping crowd, then smiles exuberantly.)

RANMA-CHAN: Tada!!! (strikes her best pose)

(The crowd begins to clap, still awestruck.)

MALE SPECTATOR #2: That was some trick.

FEMALE SPECTATOR: Truly amazing!

BOY: See, Mom? That woman telling the "Freaks of Jusenkyo" story
was telling the truth after all.

MOM: Hush, Robbie! Just dont look at him. I mean, her. I
think...

(Ranma exhales a breath of relief.)

STALL OWNER: Here. (hefts aquarium full of fish and thrusts it
toward him) Take it already.

(Ranma stares at him a moment, then smiles.)

RANMA-CHAN: Nah. You keep it.

STALL OWNER: Are you sure?

RANMA-CHAN: Yeah. I mean, what use would I have for a tank of
goldfish, anyway? Besides, I can 
always return and win them back.

STALL OWNER: Oh, thank you! (faces crowd) Step right up,
everybody! Catch a fish, one hundred 
yen!

MALE SPECTATOR #1: (approaching eagerly) Let me try.

MALE SPECTATOR #2: (pushes sleeves up) Yeah! That dont look too
hard. 

(Akane suddenly spots Ryoga in the crowd. She waves and moves
toward him.)

AKANE: Ryoga! What are you doing here?

RYOGA: Oh, h-h-hi Akane.

STALL OWNER: Step up, step up! Dont be shy!

(Ranma takes a step toward where Ryoga and Akane are standing.
There is a wicked glint in her 
eye.

RANMA-CHAN: Well? What about it, Ryoga? Care to try
goldfish-catching?

AKANE: Yes, why dont you, Ryoga? Im sure you can do even better
than Ranma here.  

RANMA-CHAN: Yeah, Ryoga. Why not try? (pauses) You're not
chicken, are you?

RYOGA: [Erk! I cant risk changing into a pig in front of Akane!]
Shut up, Ranma! O-O-Of course 
not! Its just... Im allergic to goldfish. Yeah, thats why!
(laughs crazily)

AKANE: (laughs with him) My... What a strange condition!

RANMA-CHAN: (leans over) Pig. (She receives an elbow in the
ribs.) 

AKANE: So Ryoga. Ranma and I were planning to have our fortunes
told. Would you care to join us?

RYOGA: F-For you, Akane, Id do anything!

(Ranma looks from one to the other with narrowed eyes.)

RANMA-CHAN: Oh gimme a break. (drags Ryoga) Come on, loverboy!



(Aisa saunters over to the fortune telling booth, smiling
happily.)

AISA: Gosh, what a twist of fate to meet WordCobbler here. To
think, if I hadnt come up with 
this plan, Id have never known. 

(She lifts up the flap of the tent and enters. The fortune teller
is counting her money at the 
small round table. She grins a welcome upon spotting Aisa.)

AISA: Hi again. Did you do as I said?

FORTUNE TELLER: (makes thumbs up sign) To the letter.

(Aisa eagerly sits down on the stool in front of her.)

AISA: So. Tell me how it happened.

FORTUNE TELLER: Well, first the man came in. I told him not to be
this "jerk" like you say, and 
finally to admit his feelings to the girl he love.

AISA: Then what, then what?!

FORTUNE TELLER: Well, he break into tears!

AISA: Tears? Whoa, whoa. Are you sure were talking about the
same person here?

FORTUNE TELLER: (shakes head vigorously) Can be no mistake. He
cry and say how right I am...how 
he such coward not to tell her sooner. Then he run out. 

AISA: (laughs nervously) Thats funny. If I didnt know better,
Id say that sounded a lot more 
like Ryoga.

FORTUNE TELLER: (waves hand dismissively) In now comes the girl.
I look into her palm and ooh and
ahh and say, "You very lucky girl! You have found man you will
marry. He is waiting for you 
outside!" Well, with that her eyes go wide and and she become
very still. When she not say a 
word, I lift up flap of tent and point to the man. "There he is
right now!" She looks at me, 
whispers, "*That* one?" 
"Yes," I shout. "That man with the yellow shirt and big
umbrella!"

(Aisa suddenly freezes dead still.)

AISA: What...did you just say?

FORTUNE TELLER: Well, she sounded like she cant believe me. Like
she thought I would name 
someone else. So I told her, "The man with yellow shirt and big
umbrella." (chuckles) After that 
she have no doubts who I speak of.

(Aisa grabs the fortune teller by the collar, taking her by
surprise. The woman cries out and 
puts her hands up in defense.)

AISA: (through clenched teeth) Do you not like me or something?!
Did you not want a lot of change 
in your purse?! Because why?! Why would you do this to me?!?!

FORTUNE TELLER: What? What? I do nothing!

AISA: Nothing?! I told you to match her up with Ranma, you idiot!
You matched her with *Ryoga*! 
Oh you conniving little...

FORTUNE TELLER: What? Well how was I supposed to know?! You told
me to match her to the guy she 
was with. Well, this Ryoga was the guy she was with!

(Aisa goes cold all over.)

AISA: You mean...the guy with the pigtail wasnt there?

FORTUNE TELLER: No!!! Guy with pigtail definitely not there.

(Aisa lets her go, a stricken expression on her face.)

FORTUNE TELLER: (nods vigorously) There was *girl* with pigtail.
She came after the two were 
finished. She very rude. When I gave her good fortune and told
her she meet man of her dreams 
very soon, she snorted loudly and muttered about listening to
crap. Very unladylike!

AISA: A girl? Don't tell me she was red-haired...

FORTUNE TELLER: (leans over and whispers) Too red, if you ask me.

(Aisa is no longer listening. She is staring into space, totally
stricken with shock.)

FORTUNE TELLER: Hey, Im sorry if there was misunderstanding. But
you know, theres no refunds. 
(She hugs pile of coins to herself possessively.)

AISA: Sure. Who cares about money? Sorry about the neck. 

(She exits the tent in a daze, and stands outside in a stupor. It
is like this that Nabiki finds 
her. She taps her on the shoulder.)

NABIKI: Hey, Aisa.

AISA: (jumps) Nabiki!

NABIKI: I came up here to check up on you. Hows our operation
going?

AISA: Oh Nabiki, its a total disaster!!! I couldnt have gotten
things worse if Id tried. I 
dont even know where Ranma and Akane are now.

NABIKI: Listen...its all right. At least one good thing came out
of all this mess.

AISA: Huh? Go on, Im listening.

NABIKI: Well, since both Ranma and Akane were gone, I decided to
do some investigating around the
house.

AISA: And...

NABIKI: Well, I found something *quite* interesting...       