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                        YOUR BODY, MY MIND
                           Chapter Two
      
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     Akane had time to notice that Yuka, Sayuri, Hiroshi and
Daisuke were staring up at the wedding banner in astonishment.
"Looks like they were holding out on us," Daisuke muttered.
     She ran up to Soun. "Father! What do you think you're
doing?!"
     Soun's eyes darted from her to Ranma. "Er - your father's
over there."
     "Riiiiight." She cringed inwardly. Mechanically, she
exchanged places with Ranma.
     Genma was smiling and nodding jovially. "We're making sure
everyone knows of this wonderful event." He sighed happily. "The
marriage of our children." Tears began to well in his large eyes.

     Ranma pushed his face in front of him."What wedding?!?! We
are not getting married!!!" 
     Their parents' face began to twitch alarmingly.
Instinctively, he and Akane took a step backward. "WHAT DO YOU
MEAN YOU'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED????" they bellowed. "You did *it*
and you're not getting married?!"
     Their four friends in the background started to whisper
furiously. 
     Torrents of sweat began to pour down their foreheads. "You
got it all wrong-" "We already told you-" they started
protesting.
     Soun's entire head ballooned to a size ten times its norm.
"What you told us is that you did!!!"
     "We didn't-" 
     "When was that?" 
     "When you were leaving of course!!!" It was Genma's turn to
thunder. 
     "We said no such thing!"
     "We can assure you that-that-*that* didn't happen."
     "Oh, yes it did!
     "No, it didn't!"
     "Wanna bet?!"
     "Whaddaya mean wanna bet?! Don't you think we'd know better
than you?!
     Hiroshi, Daisuke, Yuka and Sayuri brought out some popcorn
and sat down to watch the rest of the match. An hour later, Ranma
and Akane had finally exhausted Soun and Genma into submission.
They mopped their brows in weariness as well and turned to face
their next task.
     "We met H & D on the way here," Sayuri blurted out before
they could say a word. "We're glad they did," Hiroshi murmured
with a glint in his eye. Without another word, he and his friend
dragged Akane into the backyard. "So Saotome, level with us. We
heard your parents saying something about you two #@%."
     She yanked herself out of his grasp. "No! They were sorely
mistaken."
     "Aw, c'mon, what do you take us for?" Daisuke poked her in
the ribs and belatedly realized she was in girl form. Akane
gritted her teeth and glared at him threateningly. He backed off.
"S-S-Sorry."
     Hiroshi leered down at her. "So was it good?"
     Akane saw red. "You bozo! I told you we didn't do it!"
Unconsciously, she deepened her voice and made it more gruff in
an effort to mimic Ranma.
     Hiroshi blinked her outburst off. "You have a cold or
something?"
     Akane abandoned her macho accent. "N-No."
     Daisuke looked disappointed. "Well, didn't you at least
&#@~?"
     Akane scrunched up her face on disdain."That's disgusting!
Is that all you two can think about?"
     They stared at her in surprise. "What's your problem? It's
not like this is the first time we've asked you." They broke into
condescending grins. "It's what we always talk about."
     With a final outraged cry, she stomped away from them as
fast as she could. RRRRaaaaannnmaaaaa....

     ...was facing the two girls awkwardly. "Uh, look...now's not
a good time... Come back some other time..."
     They were all over him in a trice. "Ooh, is it true,
Akane?!" Yuka breathed.
     "It's about time," Sayuri gruffly remarked. "You're lucky to
have a hunky fiance and you don't take advantage of it."
     Ranma stopped and glanced at her with newfound interest.
"Really?" A sappy grin slowly spread across his face.
     "Well, duh! Ayame Tanaka has a crush on him, you know."
     Ranma vaguely remembered Ayame to be short and freckled. He
waited for them to continue. They just stood there gazing back at
him.
     "Weren't you saying something about us leaving?" Sayuri
prodded.
     He squirmed uncomfortably. "Uh...it can wait."
     Pause. 
     "Well aren't you going to invite us to your room?" 
     "Right." He led them upstairs, almost making a wrong turn
before recovering himself. He opened the door gingerly. They
slipped in between him and sat on the bed.
     He perched on the desk impatiently. "Ayame?" he began
casually. "I didn't know that."
     Yuka tsked tsked. "Where have you been? Still," she added,
"can you blame her? He's plenty cute." She ran a finger through
her hair, checking for split ends. "Oh...except for his pigtail
braid. What a turn-off."
     "Yeah, it's so out of fashion," Sayuri chimed in. 
     "Really?" Ranma reached up to finger the strand before
remembering it wasn't there anymore. He brought his arm down
hurriedly.
     
     "Bye," he waved as the two disappeared down the corner of
the street. He smiled contentedly. The girls had managed to
inform him of plenty more. He felt a tap on his shoulder and
turned around to find Akane glaring at him. She was giving off a
decidedly furious aura. "H-Hi, what's up?" He backed off as Akane
started advancing threateningly. 
     "I'll tell you what's up! You and your friends are filthy!
Discussing me behind my back?!"
     Ranma was caught off guard and he blurted out the first
thing that came to mind. "Well, well, what about you?! I never
knew Ayame Tanaka had a crush on me!" He realized his mistake and
cringed, preparing for the inevitable explosion.
     It came.
     "THAT'S JUST INNOCENT CHITCHAT!!!" she yelled, red in the
face. "Besides, it would just have made your swollen head swell
even more!!!" she roared. "How can you even think of comparing
the two?!"
     "I always deny everything they say!" he defended. 
     "And I'm supposed to believe that? They seemed pretty sure a
while ago what your answer would be!"
     "I'm telling the truth!"
     Akane shook her head. "Sorry, your word doesn't cut it."
Spitefully, she added, "I bet your ego just couldn't stand the
thought of not adding me to your list of conquests!"
     "Are you kidding? It would be a blow more than anything to
my ego if I told them I slept with you!"
     ===SLAP!!!===
     Ranma touched his already swelling cheek dazedly. Akane
looked back at him with tears shimmering in her eyes.
     Time seemed to stop as they just stood there gazing at each
other. Events had reached a climactic showdown. 

     Ryoga wearily put one foot in front of the other. He'd
journeyed a long way, and all he wanted to do was find the Tendo
dojo and lie cradled in Akane's arms for a month. He looked up to
brush a lock of hair from his forehead and his hand stilled. He
couldn't believe what he was seeing! He recognized the house in
front of him! This was the Tendo's block! He started running as
fast as he could, pretty sure all he had to do was keep moving in
the same direction.
     (that was this way wasn't it? no...this way...but maybe it
was here...)
There it was! "Dear Akane!" he cried elatedly....just in time to
witness Ranma slap her. He stopped dead in his tracks. In his
mind, lightning flashed and thunder rolled.
     He-he slapped Akane! That's like defacing a work of art! TO
AKANE!!! The old, familiar Ranma's- the-source-of-all-my-woes
rage washed over him. His vision darkened as he was overcome with
fury. He had never felt so angry in his life!!! (of course, this
record changes every so often)
"RRRRRRaaaaannnnnnmmmmmaaaaa!!!!!!!!!" He charged and lowered his
head to butt
Ranma in the stomach. She was sent flying into the wall. "How
could you do that to Akane?!?! You - you swine!"
     Akane stared at him in surprise. Unexpectedly, she began to
laugh uncontrollably. "Look who's talking," she giggled.
     Ryoga gaped at her, bug-eyed. Could it be that she knew...?
     Akane helped an aching Ranma to her feet. The way she did so
was almost...tender(!). "You don't have to protect me all the
time, you know. I can handle myself just fine."
     He was flabbergasted. He started to gesture with his arms
wildly. "He - She sh-shouldn't be hitting you!!!"
     "Why not?" There was a defiant glint in her eyes. "He is my
fiance."
     Ryoga felt his heart stop. With excruciating slowness, he
felt it break in a shatter of glass. Bawling, he turned away and
ran, anguish writhing inside him.

     Akane (the real one) watched Ryoga flee worriedly.
Ryoga...that's so sweet of you to be concerned about me.
     Ranma was grinning from ear to ear. "Boy was that fun."
     She shot him a withering look and shoved him as hard as she
could. "Why do you have to be so mean to him? I'm going after
him." Without another glance, she rushed out into the street. She
spotted the wet tear trail Ryoga had left behind and started to
follow it. After only a few minutes of careful tracking, she felt
faint with dizziness. Only Ryoga could move so aimlessly. Left
turn here...then a right...this way.... STOP. A feline Shampoo
was standing in her way. 
     What am I going to do? was her panicky thought. Ranma's
scared to death of cats... Should I act like him? But that's
silly, why should I pretend to be terrified when I'm really not?
But then Shampoo would know something's wrong. She won't rest
till she knows what is.     
     With that in mind---
     "AAAHHH!!!" she squealed, and bolted away, trying to work
her face into distorted expressions of fear. Shampoo gave chase
and they ran around Nerima, Akane feeling extremely foolish all
the time as heads turned to gape at them. With a start, she
realized that it was the Neko Hanten up ahead. Why the sneaky...
This was her plan all along! Suddenly, an arm shot out and
punched her in the larynx. She collapsed to the ground, gasping
for breath.
     "Shampoo? Where are you?" Mousse appeared as the owner of
the arm as he groped in the air for his beloved. Carrying a
kettle in the other arm, he proceeded to pour its contents onto
the sidewalk, which a writhing Akane just managed to move away
from.
     Shampoo let out an exasperated meow and stepped into the
restaurant. A minute later, she returned in human form. "Stupid
Mousse! Shampoo can't change back in street!" (She's naked at
first, remember?) She grabbed the kettle from him and tipped it
over Akane, ignoring her frantic gestures.
     Akane shuddered as the transformation took place, making her
taller and bulkier. Shampoo peered at her curiously. "What wrong,
Ranma?"
     She was saved from answering as Mousse began flailing about,
disturbed. "Ranma? He's not here."
     Shampoo rolled her eyes and hit him on the head. "Mousse
can't see past end of nose. Husband right here!"
     Mousse shook his head gravely. "No, I'm sure. I feel anger
rising in me when he's nearby." He took off his glasses and wiped
them on his white robe studiously. "Having a sight impediment,
however slight, has taught me to use my other senses." He brought
up his glasses and put them on. He did a double-take when he saw
Akane and turned red. Shampoo tapped her foot on the ground
impatiently. His mouth dropped open. He leaned forward to inspect
her closely. "Well...it does look like him. But-but-" Then he
shrugged. "What's the difference? Resembling him is enough reason
to die!" He lashed his chain weapons out.
     Akane cried out and just barely managed to jump away.
     Mousse grinned wickedly and prepared to lash again - 
     "Mousse! Shampoo! I need you!" came Cologne's voice. "Now is
not the time to play."
     Mousse slumped and let out a groan. He dragged himself
inside. "I'll get you next time," he threatened menacingly.
     Akane let out the breath she had been holding. Be my guest.
It'll be Ranma's turn by then.
     Shampoo pouted and gave her a quick, tight, body-pressing
hug before going. She blew her a kiss.
     Akane gagged and looked away.
     Cologne stood in the doorway, watching her. You owe me one,
she seemed to say. Then she disappeared back into the restaurant.
     She rolled her eyes but was relieved all the same. Thank
good-
     "Halt, Saotome!" 
     Kuno. Terrific. What is it with Ranma? He attracts trouble
like nails to a magnet. She groaned and turned to face her next
adversary. Oh well, at least he wasn't glomping on to her like he
usually did.
     His bokken was drawn and in her face. "Although the fair
Akane is not with you," he was saying, "I am certain you are
hounding somebody all the same. For that I will fight with you."
     Akane tried to come up with some witty comeback, but right
now all she could come up with was "Oh yeah!" She tensed herself
in readiness. A wave of anticipation swept through her. She was
itching to try her mettle, and unlike with Mousse and Ryoga, she
had no compunction at all about fighting Kuno. The guy was a
nuisance if there ever was one, and the perfect punching bag. 
     The beating of her heart seemed to vibrate through her
entire being. Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta... "Hyaaaaaa!" He charged and
surprised Akane with his swiftness. She managed to veer away from
his sword not a moment too soon. That was close, she thought
dazedly. Then she remembered: Kuno was at his best fighting men.
She gritted her teeth in determination. Ranma's added weight and
bulk was something she hadn't adjusted to. It didn't slow her
down but it would take a long time to get used to. Time she
didn't have right now.
     Kuno lunged again and she concentrated on ducking. She
brought out a fist and connected with his jaw. He reeled
backward, but righted himself at once. She spun around for a kick
and he blocked it with his sword, teeth bared cockily. He wasn't
expecting the follow-up one however, which she succeeded in doing
by twisting herself in mid-air. He caught it full on the stomach
and fell backward.
     Akane stared at her fists for a moment, overwhelmed at the
power and strength she felt in her limbs. She didn't have time to
dwell on it though, as Kuno cried out and parried with lightning
speed. Dodging left and right, she thought fast. Boy, did I
seriously underestimate him. 
     He drove his bokken in with all his strength, and she
managed to evade it at the last minute. His thrust left his side
exposed, and her eyes didn't miss the opening.
     With a triumphant yell, she punched his exposed side with
both fists. His head arched back in pain and he slumped to the
ground, senseless.
     Akane exhaled slowly, revelling in her conquest. Not knowing
why she did it, she turned Kuno over, and contemplated the rise
and fall of his chest. It was strange, but beating Kuno made her
want more. It reminded her of why she had made the wish in the
first place. It had been to prove to Ranma, and especially
herself, that she was no klutzy tomboy. That she was worth
something. She
couldn't settle for her victory over him. It was time to take on
_____ (no bonus points for guessing who!!!). She squared her
shoulders in resolution and marched back home.

     Kodachi sighed in irritation on spotting her brother
sprawled so undignified-like on the street. With a smart snap of
her fingers, Sasuke was at her side in an instant. "Bring him,"
she ordered imperiously. 
     Sasuke groaned and heaved his master unto his shoulders. He
followed Kodachi as she weaved through the crowd and headed home.
Kuno's eyes popped open. Things slowly wavered into focus. He
crossed his arms over his chest (looking ridiculous) and began
thinking rapidly about his predicament. One observation stuck
into his mind: He had been attracted to Saotome for a moment.
Just for an instant - he had seemed attractive and wholly
feminine. Swiftly, he turned his head around and glared at his
sister's back. Perhaps this interest in Saotome was catching. He
broke into tears at the thought. 
     
     Akane was making the slow trek home when Ranma suddenly
appeared out of nowhere. For a moment she was nearly scared out
of her wits, convinced she was seeing her ghost like in some
corny horror hilm. But reality washed over her in a second and
she fell into step beside him.
     "Where have you been?" Relief was clearly written on his
face. "I thought you'd gotten yourself killed and thrown into a
ditch somewhere. Then what was I supposed to do?"
     She made a face at his concern. "Sorry." 
     They walked on in silence. "What happened to you?" he
mumbled. "You're a boy."
     Akane almost laughed at the bluntness of his question. "A
little run-in with Shampoo," she vaguely explained.
     It was a good thing Ranma wasn't the inquisitive type. He
let the subject drop.
     Slowly, in silence, they neared the house. The sounds of
partying and merry-making reached their ears. Ranma groaned. "I
forgot to tell you. Pop and Mr. Tendo aren't letting the wedding
feast they ordered go to waste. So they invited some of the
neighbors, some of our classmates... I think it's for us to feel
guilty."
     Akane groaned, too. "I can't believe they'd stoop to
anything that low." She paused. "Scratch that. I should know
better than that by now."
     Ranma nodded in agreement. "That's why I wanted to find you
so quickly. I wasn't about to suffer alone." 
     Akane snorted. "I really appreciate that."
     Ranma shrugged, smiling a little.
     There was a lapse in conversation and Akane decided to take
her chance. "Come on," she said, tugging him on the arm. She
dragged him into the dojo. The training hall was lit by sharp
moonlight.
     "What are we doing here?" Ranma asked, puzzled.
     Akane's anser was to sweep his legs out from under him. She
dropped into a fighting stance. 
     Ranma stared up at her, realization slowly creeping into his
eyes. "Akane, I told you. I don't fight with girls."
     She rolled her eyes. "Are you blind as well as dense? I'm in
your body now. Are you saying your body doesn't have what it
takes?"
     He got up, wiping the dust from the seat of his pants. "Of
course not. But inside, you're still a girl. A tomboy yes, but
still a girl."
     She snapped. With the speed of a tiny whirlwind, she began
to kick at him furiously. "Of all the people I know, I'd think
you'd be the last to be sexist!!! You're the one who transforms
into a girl, so you should understand that it makes no difference
whatsoever what gender you are! What matters is strategy and
skill, not if you have a p****! (^_^) She punctuated each word
with a violent kick in his direction. 
     Ranma tripped and fell down as he tried to retreat. Brown
eyes stared up at her in shock. "I never thought of it that way,"
he murmured dazedly.
     Akane nodded, chest heaving with exertion. "You usually
don't."
     As if in a trance, he picked himself up, continuing to gaze
at her steadily. 
     Akane stared right back at him, eye-to-eye.
     Ranma shook his head resignedly. "All right. If it means so
much to you..."
     She didn't say anything, just dropped into position. 
     Ranma did the same. "Your move," he grunted.
     The words were barely out his lips when she charged, fist
balled and aimed right at him. Surprised at her speed, Ranma
barely managed to dodge by veering to the left, relying on his
honed impulses and reflexes. By a fraction of a second, he was
slower in Akane's body, and it showed. When her right fist
connected with thin air, Akane swung out her other arm. Ranma
ducked in the nick of time, and a strand of his hair was cut
cleanly off. He spread his legs out for balance, then jumped back
up again, arms crossed to shield his face. Frustrated, Akane
raised her leg in a kick. Ranma hopped back, then performed a
backflip to gain more ground. His outbound legs collided with her
inbound arm and she let out a small cry of pain. Ranma quicky
looked up in concern. Akane immediately
noted his temporary off-guardedness. With a strangled battle cry,
she lunged herself at him. He gasped and closed his eyes.
     But the blow never landed. He cautiously opened an eye.
Akane was lying on the floor, a dazed expression on her face.
Only then did he see that his right leg was raised in
counterattack. By the devil... He'd managed to block the attack
unconciously! A hot wave of pride and triumph coursed through
him. 
     "Woohoo!!! Did you see that?!" he cried, addressing no one
in particular. "I beat her! I beat her! I am simply the better
martial artist! Woohoo!!! I say-"
     ==WWWHHHHUUUMMMMMPPPPP!!!==
     Akane stood over him as he lay sprawled on the floor, the
weights she'd used to hurl at him a few inches away. Her blue
eyes were mocking. "Yeah Ranma. You are the best." Then she
huffed out, sliding the panel door open with a bang. Loud
mutterings resounded in the clear night air. "Stupid jerk..."




