Title:Moving On Author:Tapestry Email:Shaddow_Cat@hotmail.com Standard Disclaimer Apply I dislike hospitals...it reminds me too much of him.I miss him.I miss him so much.But I can't help but come back to this place over and over again...as a volunteer...as a visitor. Ever since he died,I began to volunteer myself as a hospital helper.To sooth the pain of those who have to die alone.Nobody should have to go through that. It all started,5 years ago..... I was 16 and I had met the most wonderful person in the world. Chiba Mamoru. He hid himself from social circles...he avoided any contact.He was an enigma.But I'd met him accidently one day.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm running down the halls of the hospital....my cousin was ill.So very ill.Then,I crashed into him.Me,Tsukino Usagi crashed into the man. For the first time in my life,I met the mysterious Chiba Mamoru. The aloof senior.The one who'd severed all ties to social life in school. "I'm sorry."I choked.Tears were running down my cheeks. "Odango,you should watch where you're running.You could get hurt that way.Are you alright???"he asked worriedly. "I-I'm fine."I sobbed before bursting into tears. He hugged me...held me in his warm and loving embrace.I sobbed into his chest. "Odango??"he asked confused. "Gomen,"I whispered pulling away. "What is wrong??"he asked. My lower lip trembled.I burst into tears again. "M-My cousin is ill...dangerously ill."I sobbed. His face softened."Oh..I'm sorry."he whispered. I shook my head."It's alright.I'm Tsukino Usagi."I said giving a watery smile. He smiled back,and we became friends. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We became good friends,and I learned he was an orphan and he was all alone.A year later...we fell in love...we'd loved each other so much.I would have travelled the ends of the earth for him. I remember standing on the bridge in the park that was built over a small pond with koi swimming around. Mamoru had appeared,holding a beautiful red rose,a smile playing on his lips. I wondered what he was up to. "Usa,do you care for me??"asked Mamoru. "Silly...of course I do."I smiled.I wondered what he was getting at.Could it be he loved me as much as I loved him??? "Usagi...what would you say,if I said...I love you??"asked Mamoru suddenly. I was struck dumb. "Usagi??" "Mamoru,I would say I love you too.Since the beginning of time till the end."I laughed hugging him. "Really??Usako..I-I love you."whispered Mamoru. "I love you too,Mamo-chan."I whispered in his embrace. Maybe it was because we both understood each other and he'd needed somebody in his lonely life.It turned out,I needed him too.It's a funny thing.Maybe that's why we should alway treasure something with all our hearts,in case it gets taken away suddenly and we find out,we should have told them we loved them.Treasured it like it was the last thing on earth.Like what happened to me one day.... "Mamo-chan,are you alright??"I asked. "I'm fine Usa."replied Mamoru.He was pale.I should have known something was wrong.He collapsed on the ground as we got up from the park bench. "Mamoru!!!"I screamed. I don't remember much of what happened then...everything was such a blur. Everything had happened so fast.Mamoru was brought to the hospital.As he had no family,I worried about what would happen.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Miss Tsukino,are you his family??"asked a doctor. "He has no family,sir.Please....how is he??"I pleaded the doctor. He stared at me a good long while.His features were sad and sympathatic. "Miss Tsukino,Mr Chiba is suffering from leukemia.Did he ever tell you that??"asked the doctor. I gave a gasp. "L-Leukemia???"I repeated. "Yes.It seems Mr Chiba has been in the hospital before.He has never told you about his condition???" I shook my head.Tears were starting to fall...questions ran through my head.Why had he not told me???Why did I have to know about it THIS way??? "I'm sorry Miss Tsukino,I advise you to make his last few days happy.He doesn't have much time anymore."said the doctor sadly. When the doctor left,I slid to the floor...my mind was reeling from the news....the words that Mamo-chan had only days left.... My eyes were wide. I couldn't believe it.Why??? I burried my head into my knees and sobbed... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I pushed open the door to his room...he lay there on the bed,so pale and weak.His dark hair contrasting with his pale skin. I hated to see him so weak.So helpless...so alone.People like him should have friends and family around..to make it easier for them.Well...I wasn't going to allow him to die alone. Sitting down beside his bed,I propped my chin on his bed,holding his cold hand. I stared at his form.The machines registering his every breath and heartbeat. Tears came to my eyes but I rubbed them away harshly.No...I wasn't going to cry.I wasn't going to allow him to see me crying when he awoke.I didn't want him to think I was pitying him. "Usako??"came his weak voice. "Mamo-chan..." Silence...."Why didn't you tell me???"I asked. "Gomen,Odango...I didn't want you to pity me.I didn't want you to be worried about me.I've known for quite awhile.You aren't angry with me are you???"he asked. "Iie,Mamo-chan.I'm not angry.I understand.And I want YOU to understand too,I would never pity you."I sniffled slightly. "Usako...I'm so sorry...I hurt you."whispered Mamoru. "No,Mamo-chan.You didn't hurt me.I'm just sad...sad we didn't get to live out our lives together."I choked. "I'm regret that too...I wish I could,little one.I wish I could be with you always."smiled Mamoru weakly. "Shhh....you'll always have me....Mamo-chan.Remember that.You're never alone anymore."smiled Usagi. "I know..."whispered Mamoru as he dozed off. I stared at his pale sleeping form.He was so tired.He'd been fighting the illness for so long.He'd been fighting it all alone.Well...he wasn't alone anymore.I wasn't going to let him suffer alone.I loved him.With all my heart. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ His last few days were happy ones...I made sure of that. "Usako...you really don't need to be with me everyday.You should be out, having fun.Living...not being here,at the hospital with someone like me." Mamoru had told me. "Iie Mamo-chan.How can you ask me to leave you here alone??And how can I live when you do not live with me??No Mamo-chan...you cannot ask me to do that.You are the other half of my soul.I love you.And I promised you wouldn't be alone anymore." "Usako...whatever did I do to deserve someone like you??"whispered Mamoru sadly. "You gave me,your love."I answered. "Usako.." I kissed him lightly on the lips. "Say nothing more about this,Mamo-chan.I do not want to hear another word of it."I said firmly,trying to look serious. Mamoru gave a chuckle."Hai,Odangoed-one."he teased. Mamoru and I spent a lot of time outside in the fresh air.Mamoru wanted to.He'd said if he was going to die,he wanted to do it in fresh air and not a stuffy bland white room. I respected that,because I loved him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The dreaded day came suddenly that ended Mamoru's life....and tore my world apart. "Usako,I love you."whispered Mamoru weakly. "I love you too,Mamo-chan."I whispered.A tear trickled down my cheek. I cried the whole day the day he died. It had happened so suddenly,Mamoru had difficulty breathing and the machines that monitored him went crazy. Doctors and nurses ran in. Everything happened so fast.I remembered dimly I was screaming.Screaming his name.Hot tears streamed down my face. The nurse then pushed me out as I was getting hysterical.I was still screaming...I watched as they gave up and pulled the sheet over his body. Moments later...the doctor came out and shook his head.Thats when I went into a catatonic state.My eyes stared out into space,not really focusing on anything.He was gone...I just couldn't believe it...didn't want to accept it.He'd had such a big impact on my life,even I didn't know how much... until he was gone.He'd come to mean so much to me in our short time together.I wish he were here... I miss him so much.But sometimes,I think he's here...with me.The hospital just brings back so many memories. For a few months,I cursed fate.I wanted to know why they'd sent Mamoru to me...sweet caring Mamoru just to take him back.But then...I always knew the answer to that one.Because we'd needed each other in our lives. He'd changed mine and I'd changed his...in more ways than one. I wish he were here with me now.But once a person was gone,there was no way to get them back.Though he was gone physically,he never was gone mentally...spiritually.He never really died...he's just gone...far far away.To forget him,would then really mean his death. My friends reminded me,there were so many in the world like him.Not personality speaking,no not the man I loved...but people whose lives were similar to his.Those who were alone. I'm 21 now.And I have devoted what little time I have to spare,making sure those people did not die alone.As I said...nobody should have to go through that.In short...I'm moving on with my life.The chapter of my life that's closed,but not forgotten...never forgotten. Mamoru,Mamo-chan....wherever you are,I love you. Remembering is keeping a memory alive... To keep the memory alive is to keep the spirit alive... Forgetting is destroying a memory... To destroy a memory means the spirit's true demise. For death does not mean they are dead. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ The End. A short story in the POV of Usagi Tsukino.I hope you enjoyed it.Email me!! :))