Springer: Up next we have Zelgadis Greywars. Zel, you say your own grandfather/great-grandfather turned you into what you are today?
Zel is on stage in a chair, looking very angry.
Zel: How the *^%# did I get here?
Springer: Please answer the question.
Zel: What? Oh, yes. Yes, he did.
Springer: I see. And-...
Zel:(interrupting) Hey!! Answer MY question!! How did I get here? (He begins frantically twisting and turning in his chair, taking in the whole room) Aaaahh! Who are those people!!!
Springer: This our live studio audience. Now, why did he....
Zel: (Leaps out of his chair) Answer the $#@&-ing question! And who the %$^& are you , anyway!?!?
Springer merely turns and shrugs.
Springer: (To the audience) He doesn't know!
Zel looks furious as the audience begins to chant-
Audience: Gourry! Gourry! Gourry! Gourry! Gourry!
Zel yells a few choice phrases, but unfourtunately,the network says they must be censored. (Not that you've read anything in this episode that wasn't cartoon symbols, anyway.)
Audience: Boo! Boooo!!
Springer turns back to Zel.
Springer: I suggest you sit down. You ARE on network television.
(The audience claps and cheers.)
Zel looks like he is about to say something, but finally sits down.
Springer: Please be cooperative. Try to work out your problems while you're here.
Zel makes a face, but says nothing.
Springer:Why don't we bring out Rezo the Red Priest...
Zel jumps up again, then sits right back down, only to jump back up again as a stocky man leads Rezo out, and sits him in a chair. Zel lunges for him.
Zel: You ^@$#@*&! What the ^%$#!! I'll KILL you! YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!!! AAAAHHHH!!!!
The stocky man is quickly joined by another. As they grab Zel, he reaches for his weapon, only to find that it is not there. Together they hold him off Rezo until he stops fighting, then lead him to a chair.
Springer: Tell us why you have so much hate for Rezo.
Zel shoots the worst look he knows at Springer.
Zel: Why do you think? You brought me here! You know! You asked me about it earlier!
Springer:Okay, why don't we talk to Rezo.....
Camera focuses on Rezo.
Rezo: Hello, Gourry.
Zel: You know who he is?
Springer: Hello Rezo, welcome to the show.
Rezo bobs his head.
Springer: Why don't you tell us why Zelgadis is so mad at you, since he can't?
Zel makes some noises, and looks like he's gagging.
Rezo: Maybe he's just jealous.
The audience laughs.
Springer: Maybe.
More laughter.
Springer: What did you do to him?
Rezo: I gave him what he wanted.
Zel: You did not!! AAAAHH!!!
Zel runs for Rezo, and begins beating him up.
The stocky guys return. Zel's chair is uprighted,
and while he is put in it, Rezo straightens his clothes and hair.
Springer: Calm down, Zel, and wait your turn.
Rezo: Well I did. He got what he wanted. More power. He laughs. Its not my fault that he's made of stone. He laughs harder.
Springer looks confused. He missed what was so funny.
Springer: Stone?
Rezo: Oh, yeah. Chimera, and almost everything that comes with it. Except he's not genderless. No sir!
He begins to laugh so hard, he falls off his chair. He is saying something, but no one can hear what it is except a lady in the front row. The lady in the front row looks puzzled, then shocked, then laughs, in succession. She stands up and starts motioning to Springer. He walks over to her, and points the microphone in her direction.
Lady: laughing He.... *choke*....... said he was ...*gasp*..... always....... HARD!!!
She falls back into her seat laughing.
After a second, the entire audience begins laughing.
Springer joins in. Zel turns various shades of the
rainbow, and sinks down in his chair. Rezo bursts
in to fresh laughter.
A younger woman in the middle of the audience
stands up and begins waving her arms.
Springer makes his way through the laughing crowd.
Woman: I can't believe you did that, uh, what's that like,blind guy's name?
Springer:Rezo.
Woman: Whatever. That was a mean thing to do to ,uh, ah, whats the ,like, hard guy's name?
More laughter. The woman shoots a dirty look at the audience.
Springer:Zel
Woman: Yeah. That was, like, a mean thing to do. I mean, he's your grandson/great-grandson! Speaking of which, what is up with the, like, hyphenated crap? What the heck did you do to make that possible, huh?
Rezo stops rolling on the ground and turns his head in that direction.
Woman: And you, hard guy, why do you want to kill him? It happened, so, like, get over it and move on!
Zel sits up straight in his chair.
Zel: What do you know, you're not made of STONE!!! That ^@$#@%& tricked me!!! You don't even know the whole story!!
Springer heads back down front.
Springer: I'm sorry folks, but our time is up.
Zel: Good! Wonderful! ^%$ $%&^!!!! Can I go home yet!?!?
Rezo breaks into laughter anew.
Rezo: Always... hard.....
The screen disappears. We now see Gourry in a soulders -up shot in a room by himself.
Springer: And now, for my final thought.................. When family members hate each other enough to commit murder, there is something wrong. Your family is a gift. You should love them, and they should love you. Unless they turn you into a chimera............ But even then, you should forgive them, and continue to love them............ Remember Barney's eternal words of wisdom.
I love you, You love me. *pause* We're a great big family. *pause* With a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you. *pause* Won't you say you love me too?....
Announcer: Next time on Gourry Springer-
My dream girl was a man!
