Mission: Impossible; James Bond; a lot of the Anime that's out there;
cheesy kung-fu movies... what do these things all have in common?
Charlie's Angels borrows from each one of these.
How? Simple. There are kung-fu action sequences; the opening has the rubber-mask
peeling of M:I; it's got the big stunts and the spectacular opening sequence of
the James Bond flicks; and it's got the pointless panty and boob shots that countless
different anime movies, shows, and OVAs have (and is just as bouncy at times, too).
The movie opens on an airplane, and the movie playing is "T.J. Hooker: The Movie".
One of the characters (some small-time baddie important only to the opening) makes
the comment which sets the tone for this flick: "Not another movie based on an old
60s TV show."
You know you can't take a movie that mocks its own existence after the first two
minutes too seriously.
And, I admit, this isn't a serious movie. It was never meant to be. It's just a
fun little action flick, but there's something wrong with it as well. In the first
place, it tries to please both the guys and the gals: It's got three women who can
kick some serious ass (re: please the gals), and they're beautiful and not too afraid
to show off their assets (re: please the guys). And it works, too. The producers
know who they're aiming this film at, and the gals show that you can be feminine,
pick up guys, and fight crime all at the same time.
Okay, so what's the problem with it, you ask me? Why did I give this 2 out of a
possible 5? The plot is paper-thin and boring. Some big-bad computer and communication
technologies type person wants revenge on Charlie, so they develop this big-ass
scheme to find him and kill him. This scheme includes plot twists, double-crosses,
and some big stunts and explosions (all of which are too easy to spot).
Oh, and did I mention plot-holes you could drive two mack-trucks through side-by-side?
The movie begins at an extremely fast pace, and then all of a sudden it slows down
for some romance which grew tiresome to me really quickly. Now, I don't have any
problem with romance; I enjoy a good romantic comedy, for starters. But in a movie
like this, the romance shouldn't be lingered on. And, boy, does it linger! Finally,
once the slow part is over with, the movie speeds up again. Sadly, however, on the
speed-limitless highway that it's travelling on, the movie forgets to pick up the
hitchikers along the way that would have avoided the little plot holes here and there
that would have kept me from wondering "How could this be?" or "How did he get from
here to there?" among other annoying little questions I asked myself.
But then, I am a cynic.
Let's move onto the actors. The angels are portrayed by Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz, and
Drew Barrymore. Okay, so they look good, but are they good in their roles? Lucy Liu
is fine in her own performance: a computer whiz who also knows how to kick ass and look
good. Not at all ditzy, but can't cook to save her life. Alright, cool, I like. Move
on to Drew Barrymore, who plays the girl who's good at security-systems and kicking butt.
She's the sensitive one. Fine, fine, but nothing special. Diaz plays the ass-kicking
ditz who likes to jabber on the phone a lot. Yaaaaaaay.
Okay, so the angels can kick ass but their personalities leave a little something
to be desired.
Move on to Bill Murray, who plays Bosley. I like Murray, and give him room in a good
comic role and he can shine brightly (re: Groundhog Day, and The Man Who Knew Too Little).
It was nice to see him in this movie, and he did a decent job, but he was underused.
Next we have Tim Currie, who plays an evil com-tech magnate. Again, the man is fabulous
in comedic roles, villainy roles, or roles that mix the two as this one does. He's
good in this movie, but just as with Murray, he is sorely underused. More of these two
would have made this a much more enjoyable flick.
There are good points to the movie, of course. The action sequences shine, even though
a good half of what's going on is being done by stunt doubles (my guess: whenever you
can't see the angel's face clearly, you've got yourself a double). And there are parts
which are simply hilarious (look for when the angels infiltrate the computer company run
by Currie; that was the funniest part of the movie, by my standards).
All in all, however, this movie just rubbed me entirely the wrong way. It didn't work
for me. The Angels may have been angelic, but they simply didn't convert me.