When I awoke, the first thing I noticed was the silence. I remember that the King in Yellow had taken my sight from me, but upon waking I could see the light, the green stone walls, my grandmother Talia seated close...but I could hear nothing. But then I realized that this wasn't precisely right...I could hear Talia...hear Quynn and Mandor talking quietly, but the voices in my head were gone.
All my life they whispered, muttered, and questioned, and for the first time I can remember, the only sound resonating in my mind were my own confused thoughts.
There's a lot I could write...a lot that perhaps needs to be put down into words, but at present I just don't have the heart for it. Konrad is dead; Iris is dead. Nicholas is still imprisoned in Low�r. I sit here writing this in the rose gardens of Castle Amber, above me the balcony to Talia's rooms, where I will be staying from now on.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. I should try to put this all in order, painful as it is.
I don't really want to write about what happened there...in the Labyrinth; it still hurts too much. There's a dark spot at the back of my head that resists inquiry; for now, I'll let it be. In simplest terms, I know this much. He came for Cassilda and I, and took us there...to the Labyrinth...to Hell. And then Konrad, Talia, Quynn, and Mandor came to rescue me...I think. I am fairly certain that's why Talia and Konrad came; I don't know about the others.
His name was Aldones, but they knew him better as the King in Yellow. He brought me there because he wanted me to bear his child.
Konrad died there. He died stopping the King in Yellow. Talia told me what he said before he died. He blessed Amber...removed the demonic taint from all of us, whatever that means. I guess that's why the voices are gone. There's a significance to his being dead that seems to elude me right now, as if I just can't face the pain yet. But soon...soon I will have to deal with what I've lost.
When I awoke, I was in some strange room with ceilings and walls of greenish stone. Lying on a couch, my first sight was Talia leaning over me, asking me how I felt. I saw Cassilda and Quynn there...felt reassured. More importantly, I could feel that we weren't in that dark place anymore. But still this place was dark and unsettling...it made me nervous. Magic all around...and strangeness.
I asked Talia about my father; she told me the truth. She asked if I needed anything, and I told her that I was hungry. I'm still weak from what he did to me, still ache from how he changed me. I look at my body now, and I'm a grownup. It frightens me terribly. I'm not like Dad; I don't know how to deal with it now that my body has changed so. These aren't my hands...they're too big. And yet it is me. I wish he were here to explain this to me; only Konrad could.
I ate; I looked around. Talia and I talked. When I asked her where I would go, she said that I would come to Castle Amber with her. At one point, she asked me if I was ready for more bad news, or whether I would prefer to wait until later. I asked her to tell me then, as I didn't want to fall apart in front of the relatives. She told me that Iris and Vialle were dead.
So now I have no one in Amber save for Talia and Cassilda. Konrad is dead; Iris is dead; Nicholas is imprisoned. Even Dragon is gone. Talia said it was all right for me to cry, but I was too tired even for that. Then Quynn came into the room and announced that it was time for us to return to Amber. He and Talia exchanged a knowing glance...I could tell they were communicating telepathically, but I pretended like I didn't notice. Nicholas told me about how he and Talia were able to communicate without words. I guess she can do that with Quynn as well. But I don't trust him...don't really trust her, either. Dad told me to be respectful, but he also told me to be careful around them.
When we arrived in Amber, I wasn't sure who to follow. Talia began walking in one direction; Cassilda and Quynn headed in another. I asked Cassilda where I should go, and Talia said that I could stay with her. So I followed her to her rooms. It was early in Amber...and strangely busy. Or maybe that's how it is normally. The sun was just beginning to come up; I noticed this when we passed a window. And the servants were bustling about getting things in order. When we arrived, the door was locked, and no one answered when Talia knocked on the door. Growing impatient, she kicked in the door. She's much stronger than she looks, apparently. Dad never told me about that. When we entered, the room was trashed. When I noticed the look on her face, and it was apparent to me that the placed had been vandalized. She flagged down a pageboy and asked him about her servants: Alia, Julnar, and Fatima. Apparently they had fled to Amber City when some things went wrong in the Castle. The pageboy was afraid of her, and seemed to be reluctant to obey her. I wonder why that is. Talia also asked the pageboy to track down Corwin and ask him to come here. When he left, she wandered off in the opposite direction, seeking him as well.
I looked around the room, not sure where to begin, and so I cast one of my basic cleaning spells. It's harder to do magic here that at home...but it started working. The clothing started floating to the armoire and hanging itself, when Talia barged back into the room. I let the spell drop and quietly told her that I was just cleaning up a bit. She said to leave it...her servants would take care of it. I'm just so used to having to clean my own room; that was something Konrad was always fairly strict about.
At Talia's suggestion, I removed the black gown given me by the King and took a bath, wanting to scrub away the last scents of that dark place. She muttered something about a servant drawing my bath, but I did it myself instead, as I was unsure of when her servants would be returning. It was kind of nice to relax a bit...until Talia barged in on me during my bath, needing to fetch something or other. I covered myself, and she said 'Don't worry about it, you'll get used to them." I assume she was referring to my body, but it was more her intrusion that bothered me than anything. After the bath, I changed into some clothing that Talia provided me...a gown of midnight blue, and I went to sit out on the balcony. The sun had just come out. It felt so nice to just stand there on the balcony, the sun on my face, a rose garden below.
Talia told me that Corwin was on his way to see her, and she asked that I stay in the other room while she spoke with him. I napped a bit on the balcony, and by the time Talia joined me later, Corwin had already gone. She explained that he had been in a very irritable mood, and thus she had spared me the trouble of dealing with him. I can't say I object terribly. She probably knows better than I how to handle Corwin.
We talked further, and I expressed my interest in returning briefly to Europe to gather my things. Talia said that she'd try make arrangements after things had calmed down a bit in Amber. I feel so out of place here; it would be nice to have some of my things here to make this more my home. If nothing else I'd like my tools and my bow.
It was then that she explained to me that Random had also died...at Bleys' hand...and that he was responsible for the murder of Iris, Vialle, and Alexander. I asked whether or not Xavier was okay, he being my last living friend! She said that she did not know. Apparently there is to be a celebratory ball this evening, as Arthur has now been crowned King. Grandmother would prefer that I not attend, as my presence might raise a great many uncomfortable questions. I think that sucks. I concealed my disappointment, and agreed with her. I doubt she knows how I feel about being here. I mean, dad's always told me about Amber...about the people who live here...my relatives...about the place. I've waited so long to come here. And now here I am...and they're having a ball...and I can't go. That sucks. But I don't think I should start my relationship with grandma by disobeying her first order. Of course, maybe I could just go spy a little...find some balcony tucked away...and just watch the festivities. I don't want to dance...or even talk to all the people...I just want to see it all.
Talia also mentioned that she could show me where the library is; apparently she thinks I'm as big a bookworm as dad. Sigh. She handed me a book of Alfarian fairy tales, which I dutifully took. Nicholas taught me to read, write, and speak the language. I helped Talia dress, as she was quite battered from what happened in the Labyrinth. She has a lot of bruises and I think one of her arms is broken.
After I finished helping her, she showed me to the library. I saw the trump case there, but I followed her advice and didn't look too closely. I remember Konrad telling me about when he first came here. I looked around a bit, but could find nothing to interest me, so I flagged down a manservant named Jasper. We went to the kitchen where I had them pack me a picnic breakfast, and then I went out to the rose gardens to read in the sun and enjoy my breakfast. Jasper was trying very hard to impress me, and it was kind of hard to get him to go away. I tried mentioning that I was here with Talia, hoping that would scare him away, but no luck. So finally I gave him a mental suggestion that he was neglecting some important work. It succeeded, but it took a bit. I think the people here are a bit more resistant to such things that the people on Earth. I guess nothing works that great here.
I had barely begun to read when Quynn arrived to chat with me. He just wanted to introduce himself and offer his support. He was being very nice, and very seemingly sincere and sweet, but I don't trust him. Dad warned me that he would play nice, so I just agreed with him and said that if I needed anything at all, I'd come to him. In terms of a shoulder to cry on, I admitted to him that I wasn't quite ready to begin grieving yet. He also told me that Cassilda would be journeying to Amber City to claim her effects, and that I might want to go there as well to claim Konrad's possessions. I thanked him for his courtesy, and said that I'd like that very much. I also admitted that I'm just not ready to talk about all of this. All I want to think of right now is that I'm alive...and I'm not in that place anymore. After he left, I read a bit more, and noticed Lorian in the garden, but I don't think she recognized me. I hadn't even thought about that! I wonder how many of them won't recognize me at all.
After he left, I continued reading...ate my breakfast...it was so warm out there in the sun, and the roses smelled very sweet. Not too surpringly, I fell asleep on the stone bench in the garden. I've always done that. I kind of lose track of how tired I am, and then just nod off. Have to be more careful about that. As I was starting to fall asleep, I felt someone nearby looking at me. Actually, I felt someone's shadow pass over my calf...the abscence of the sun's warmth roused me. I pretended to be asleep, all the while ready to roll out of the way, and then the person passed on. I opened my eyes to see Lorian walking away. I don't know if she saw me looking at her, but I saw her expression...distracted...smug...as if she'd done something terribly naughty and was busy congratulating herself for getting away with it. She should learn to hide those expressions better.
And then I really fell asleep. I suppose I could have just climbed that tree next to Talia's balcony, and used my bed, but I was so comfortable in the garden, that I just didn't care.
Front Page | Prologue | Players | Supporting Cast | Chorus | Settings