VM: Good Evening everybody and welcome to SWF Slaughterhouse!! We've got quite the line-up tonight. We'll see newcomer Pagan take on Deaf Leopard. We'll also see 2 rookies with little success in the SWF battle it out in a first blood match when Marc "The Chimera" Jasper battles Brian Christian. In a submission match....Lethal vs. Sandman and in our main event, We'll see Patrick Bordeau defend his Tough Man belt... JV: It's about time! VM: ...against Jagged Edge. JV: He could've at least chosen a worthy opponent. VM: Let's go to our ring announcer, Dean Oberman. JV: Oberman? Why the hell is ring announcer? Where's the special guest ring announcer? VM: Well Booker Frenck felt kinda sorry for Dean since he hasn't had much work since no one wants to do an interview with him. JV: Awwww, poor baby. DO: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match in an "I Quit" Match. introducing first, from Sheffield, England, weighing in at 220 pounds, here is Deaf Leopard!! ["Rock of Ages" By Def Leppard blares out of the speakers. The crowd gives a mixed reaction as Deaf Leopard makes his way to the ring. He is carrying an electric guitar and pretends to play the music.] DO: His opponent, being led to his manager, Aissa, from New Orleans, Loisiana, weighing in at 246 pounds, here is Pagan!! ["Death Wish" by Christian Death blares as Pagan and Aissa make their way to the ring. The crowd gives a mixed reaction.] VM: Deaf Leopard has got to be liking his chances since we've had 2 other resident wrestlers win matches in the last 2 weeks. JV: Yeah, but they were against losers. So I guess Leopard does have a chance. [They lock up. Deaf Leopard goes for an earringer, but Pagan counters it with a backdrop.] JV: That's an interesting counter for an earringer. [Pagan goes for the STF, but Deaf Leopard blocks it. Deaf Leopard takes him down with a piledriver. Deaf Leopard goes for a double underhook suplex, but Pagan counters it with a backdrop. Pagan takes him down with a waistlock suplex. Pagan runs into the ropes. Deaf Leopard hits Pagan with a backdrop.] VM: Both men trading blows. [Deaf Leopard runs into the ropes. Pagan misses with a clothesline. Deaf Leopard misses with a clothesline. Deaf Leopard misses with a kick.] JV: Nothing but air. [Deaf Leopard catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Pagan executes a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Pagan whips Deaf Leopard into the ropes. Aissa trips Deaf Leopard. Matt Compton warns Aissa. Matt Compton is back on the job.] JV: It's a no-dq match. what good is warning Aissa going to do? VM: I don't know. But I'm impressed that Matt returned to the match so quickly. JV: Well I think Mr. Frenck had a few words with him after the infamous Mall Brawl. [Pagan executes a swinging punch. Deaf Leopard takes him down with a backdrop driver. Deaf Leopard takes him down with a backdrop driver. Deaf Leopard goes for a fisherman suplex, but Pagan blocks it. Pagan places Deaf Leopard on the turnbuckle. Pagan executes a superplex.] VM: Pagan shakes off the backdrop drivers and comes back with a nice superplex. [Pagan executes a single-leg takedown. Pagan whips Deaf Leopard into the ropes, but Deaf Leopard reverses it. Pagan hits Deaf Leopard with an elbow. Pagan throws Deaf Leopard out of the ring. Pagan goes through the ropes.] VM: and outside they go to the grand canyon. [Pagan executes a spinning backbreaker. Pagan places Deaf Leopard on the turnbuckle. Pagan executes the Final Judgement on the ground.] VM: A very nice double underhook top rope DDT there by Pagan. [Pagan reenters the ring. Deaf Leopard follows him back in. Pagan throws Deaf Leopard out of the ring. Pagan goes through the ropes.] JV: Pagan is just trying to humiliate Deaf leopard now. [Pagan executes a swinging punch. Pagan attempts to place Deaf Leopard on the turnbuckle, but Deaf Leopard blocks it. Aissa comes from behind and distracts Deaf Leopard. Pagan whips Deaf Leopard into a boulder.] JV: Definitely a lot harder than a guardrail. [Pagan goes for a vertical suplex, but Deaf Leopard reverses it. Deaf Leopard is handed the Electric Guitar. Deaf Leopard hits him with the Electric Guitar.] JV: Good ol' Heavy Metal. [Deaf Leopard nails him with a fallaway slam. Deaf Leopard takes him down with a legsweep. Deaf Leopard sets up a mule.] JV & VM: ????? [Deaf Leopard whips Pagan into a boulder. Deaf Leopard catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Deaf Leopard air guitars. Deaf Leopard catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.] VM: Some nice suplexes by the guitar player. [Deaf Leopard reenters the ring. Pagan follows him back in. Deaf Leopard runs into the ropes. Pagan hits Deaf Leopard with a backdrop. Pagan takes him down with a grapevine. Deaf Leopard reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Pagan leaves the ring.] VM: Where's Pagan going? [He returns with a shovel. Pagan hits him with the shovel. Pagan throws Deaf Leopard out of the ring. Pagan goes through the ropes. Pagan hits him with the shovel.] JV: He could've saved some time by throwing Deaf leopard out first then get the shovel. [Pagan takes him down with a spinebuster slam. Aissa comes from behind and distracts Deaf Leopard. Pagan takes him down with a piledriver. They're brawling in the Grand Canyon. Pagan executes a Japanese armdrag takedown. Pagan throws Deaf Leopard back into the ring. Pagan attempts to place Deaf Leopard on the turnbuckle, but Deaf Leopard blocks it.] VM: Pagan going for something big, but Deaf Leopard blocks it. [Pagan executes a German suplex. Pagan goes for an armlock leglock submission, but Deaf Leopard blocks it. Deaf Leopard takes him down with a double underhook suplex. Deaf Leopard executes a diving headbutt. Pagan takes him down with a choke against the ropes. Matt Compton counts: One, two, three. Matt Compton counts: One, two, three, four, five. Matt Compton warns Pagan.] JV: ooooohhh. A warning. [Pagan runs into the ropes. Deaf Leopard hits Pagan with a kick. Deaf Leopard nails him with a flying headbutt. Deaf Leopard executes a double underhook suplex. Deaf Leopard runs into the ropes. Deaf Leopard misses with a shoulderblock. Deaf Leopard misses with a shoulderblock. Deaf Leopard misses with an elbow.] JV: I think DL might need some glasses. [Pagan goes for a side suplex, but Deaf Leopard blocks it. Deaf Leopard goes for a football tackle, but Pagan counters it with a side step. Pagan takes him down with a spinning toe hold. Deaf Leopard manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 8 seconds. Deaf Leopard climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Pagan nails him in the stomach. Deaf Leopard falls onto the top turnbuckle.] VM: Now that is a bit painful. [Pagan nails him with a superplex. Pagan nails him with a spinning toe hold. Deaf Leopard manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds. Pagan whips Deaf Leopard into the ropes, but Deaf Leopard reverses it. Deaf Leopard misses with a clothesline. Pagan hits Deaf Leopard with a shoulderblock. Pagan runs into the ropes. Deaf Leopard hits Pagan with a kick. Deaf Leopard takes him down with a fisherman suplex. Deaf Leopard throws Pagan out of the ring. Deaf Leopard goes through the ropes.] VM: And this time its Deaf Leopard taking things to the outside. [Deaf Leopard goes for a football tackle, but Pagan counters it with a side step. Pagan goes for an armlock leglock submission, but Deaf Leopard blocks it. Deaf Leopard reenters the ring. Pagan follows him back in.] JV: That was rather dull. [Deaf Leopard goes for a German suplex, but Pagan counters it with an elbowsmash. Pagan places Deaf Leopard on the turnbuckle. Pagan executes the Final Judgement.] VM: Again Pagan hits his finisher, but Deaf Leopard is still refusing to quit. [Pagan whips Deaf Leopard into the ropes. Pagan hits Deaf Leopard with a backdrop. Deaf Leopard falls out of the ring. Pagan goes through the ropes.] VM: And back outside they go. [Pagan executes a swinging neckbreaker. Pagan goes for a Vader attack, but Deaf Leopard counters it with a fist to the midsection. Deaf Leopard grabs a rock. Deaf Leopard hits him with the rock. Pagan is busted wide open.] JV: So you can get blood from a stone. VM: I have to give you credit there Johnny. That was actually a decent joke. [Deaf Leopard executes a fallaway slam. Deaf Leopard knocks Pagan into the mule. Aissa comes from behind, but Deaf Leopard nails Aissa. Aissa comes from behind, but Deaf Leopard nails Aissa.] VM: And apparently Deaf Leopard has had enough of Aissa interfering. [Pagan throws Deaf Leopard back into the ring. Pagan goes for a waistlock suplex, but Deaf Leopard counters it with an elbowsmash. Deaf Leopard runs into the ropes. Deaf Leopard hits Pagan with a clothesline. Pagan falls out of the ring.] VM: And that huge clothesline sends Pagan hurtling over the top rope. [Deaf Leopard goes through the ropes. Deaf Leopard whips Pagan into a boulder. Deaf Leopard goes for a diving headbutt, but Pagan counters it with a roll away. Aissa comes from behind and distracts Deaf Leopard. Pagan executes a swinging neckbreaker. Pagan knocks Deaf Leopard into the mule. Aissa comes from behind, but Deaf Leopard nails Aissa. Pagan places Deaf Leopard on the turnbuckle. Pagan executes the Final Judgement on the ground.] VM: And that's the third time Pagan has hit his finisher, but Deaf Leopard is still hanging on. [Pagan sets up Deaf Leopard on the mule. Pagan tries to drive Deaf Leopard through the table with a Tombstone, but he blocks it. They're brawling inside the ring area. Aissa comes from behind, but Deaf Leopard nails Aissa.] JV: Lately Deaf Leopard has been hitting Aissa more than Pagan. [Pagan attempts to place Deaf Leopard on the turnbuckle, but Deaf Leopard blocks it. Pagan sets up Deaf Leopard on the mule. Pagan tries to Final Judgement Deaf Leopard through the table, but he moves out of the way. The mule collapses.] VM: The Humane Society is going to banging down the doors of the SWF offices tomorrow. JV: Who cares? We'll be on vacation. [Deaf Leopard goes for a Gorilla Press, but Pagan counters it with a rolling reverse cradle. Pagan goes for a forearm to the back, but Deaf Leopard counters it with a side step. Deaf Leopard reenters the ring. Pagan follows him back in. Deaf Leopard goes for a kneelock submission, but Pagan counters it with a kick to the head. Pagan whips Deaf Leopard into the ropes. Pagan goes for a swinging neckbreaker, but Deaf Leopard counters it with a side suplex.] VM: And both men with a series of counters. [Deaf Leopard runs into the ropes. Pagan hits Deaf Leopard with a clothesline. Deaf Leopard falls out of the ring. Pagan goes through the ropes.] VM: And again they go outside. [Pagan sets up a boulder. Pagan throws Deaf Leopard back into the ring. Pagan executes the STF. Deaf Leopard yells "I quit!". DO: The winner is Pagan, in a time of 11:35. VM: And pagan emerges victorious in his first match after that valiant effort by Deaf Leopard. Let's go to our next match. DO: The following match is a First Blood match. Introducing first, from Hudson Valley, New York, weighing in at 245 pounds, here is Marc Jasper, "The Chimera"!! ["Dream Warriors" by Dokken plays as Marc Jasper makes his way to the ring. The crowd cheers him on.] [Marc Jasper enters the ring as the music plays and grabs the announcers microphone, and hops onto the top buckle to have a seat.] CHIMERA: Hey, turn off the music a second, okay? Thanks a lot, Mr. Music guy... you're fun and all, but I think I might have something to say, okay? JV: No it's not ok. Chimera: Alright, I remember back in the good old days when a man could have a nice pinfall type match, where the way you would win would be by having your opponent on the mat for three seconds. But, my first appearance, I'm supposed to stick a 400+ pound man in a casket... oh joy and fun and happy thoughts shilala lay! Now, I have to make another man bleed first in order to win?!?!?!! Hey, sure... I can get into this violent wrestling and all, but does anyone out there.... anyone at all... think that we should have one of those VERY rare matches sometime? The ones where you win by either pin, submission, or disqualification? Alright, send out Mr. Brian Christian, so that we can try to make each other bleed... jeesh, someone up in the offices has a sick imagination... VM: Apparently Mr. Brian Christian is unaware of the concept behind Slaughterhouse. JV: Yeah, all the matches on this match are suppose to be hardcore you idiot! DO: His opponent, accompanied by the Lovely & Buxom Lisa, from Vancouver, Canada, weighing in at 237 pounds, here is Brian Christian!! ["Living on the Edge" by Aerosmith blares as Lisa and Brian make their way down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans. The crowd cheers him on.] VM: Well both men are in the ring, and the bell has rung. [They lock up. Brian Christian attempts to place Mark Jasper on the turnbuckle, but Mark Jasper blocks it. Brian Christian takes him down with a jumping DDT.] VM: Brian trying for a top rope maneuver right off the back but settles for the jumping DDT instead. [Brian Christian whips Mark Jasper into the ropes. Mark Jasper hits Brian Christian with a backdrop. Mark Jasper points and laughs at his opponent.] JV: I have to say that that is rather un-face like behavior. As is bitching about the matches. [Mark Jasper executes a Frankensteiner. Mark Jasper whips Brian Christian into the ropes. Brian Christian takes him down with the Running Forearm Smash. Brian Christian goes for the B.C. Press, but Mark Jasper counters it with a knee pull-up.] VM: Brian Christian tried to hit his finisher but was unsuccessful. JV: It's way to early in the match. [Mark Jasper takes him down with a European uppercut. Mark Jasper goes for a short clothesline, but Brian Christian counters it with a duck-down move. Brian Christian goes for a double underhook suplex, but Mark Jasper blocks it. Mark Jasper whips Brian Christian into the turnbuckle. Mark Jasper runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Brian Christian lifts his knee.] VM: So far these two wrestlers have matched up fairly evenly. JV: Yeah they both suck. [Brian Christian whips Mark Jasper into the ropes, but Mark Jasper reverses it. Brian Christian hits Mark Jasper with a shoulderblock. Brian Christian nails him with an Asai moonsault. Brian Christian catches him in a Northern Lights suplex.] VM: Nice sequence of moves there by Brian. [Brian Christian runs into the ropes. Mark Jasper hits Brian Christian with an elbow. Mark Jasper whips Brian Christian into the ropes, but Brian Christian reverses it. Mark Jasper hits Brian Christian with a backdrop. Mark Jasper goes for a jumping DDT, but Brian Christian counters it with a backdrop. Brian Christian executes the Running Forearm Smash. Brian Christian executes the B.C. Press.] VM: And there's that Shooting Star Press finisher of Brian's. JV: Yeah but unfortunately that won't win the match. [Brian Christian throws Mark Jasper out of the ring. Brian Christian jumps onto him with a Suicide Plancha, but Mark Jasper moves out of the way.] VM: And Brian Christian misses with that suicide plancha. That's the same mistake that cost him the match against Mr. Roboto. [Mark Jasper goes for a jumping elbow thrust, but Brian Christian counters it with a duck-down move. Brian Christian whips Mark Jasper into a boulder. Brian Christian goes for a Steinerline, but Mark Jasper counters it with a duck-down move. They're brawling inside the Grand Canyon. Mark Jasper nails him with a jumping DDT. Mark Jasper executes the Dream Weaver on the ground. VM: And there's his finisher which is sort of a flying somersault bulldog. [Mark Jasper nails him with a European uppercut. Mark Jasper knocks Brian Christian into the mule.] JV: Good to see that the mule is ok. [Mark Jasper goes for an armdrag takedown, but Brian Christian counters it with a lariat. Brian Christian whips Mark Jasper into the boulder. Brian Christian takes him down with a flying elbowdrop. Brian Christian goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Mark Jasper blocks it. Mark Jasper throws Brian Christian back into the ring. Mark Jasper takes him down with an Asai moonsault.] VM: These men are still trading blows. [Mark Jasper goes for a thrust kick to the head, but Brian Christian counters it with a duck-down move. Brian Christian goes for the Running Forearm Smash, but Mark Jasper counters it with a duck-down move. Mark Jasper places Brian Christian on the turnbuckle. Mark Jasper nails him with a top-rope Frankensteiner.] VM: Nice Top-rope Frankensteiner by The Chimera there. [Mark Jasper whips Brian Christian into the ropes, but Brian Christian reverses it. Mark Jasper hits Brian Christian with a shoulderblock. Mark Jasper runs into the ropes. Mark Jasper executes a bulldog headlock. Mark Jasper executes a slingshot somersault splash. Mark Jasper whips Brian Christian into the ropes. Brian Christian hits Mark Jasper with a clothesline. Brian Christian throws Mark Jasper out of the ring. Brian Christian jumps onto him with a Suicide Plancha, but Mark Jasper moves out of the way.] VM: And again Christian misses the suicide plancha. JV: He really should stop doing that dive. [Mark Jasper nails him with a kick to the thigh. Brian Christian is busted wide open. Sean Ceigersmidt sees the blood and stops the match.] VM: And Brian Christian gets a cut on his thigh after that kick and thus, loses the match. DO: The winner is Mark Jasper, in a time of 6:15. JV: So how many more matches do we got? VM: 2. JV: Damn. I really want to leave for my vacation. VM: Well then let's go right to our next match. DO: This next match is a submission only match. Introducing first, being led to the ring by his manager, Deadly, from Detroit, Michigan, here is Lethal!! [Police sirens blare as Lethal and Deadly make their way to the ring. The crowd gives a mixed reaction.] DO: And his opponent, from somewhere in America, weighing in at 320 pounds, here is Sandman!! <"Enter Sandman" by Metallica blares as Sandman walks down to the ring as the crowd boos loudly.> VM: Well these two have been doing some trash talking back and forth which has led us to this match. [They lock up. Sandman executes spinning headscissors into a cradle.] JV: That cradle part is pretty redundant in this match. [Sandman goes for an armdrag takedown, but Lethal counters it with a lariat. Lethal whips Sandman into the turnbuckle, but Sandman reverses it. Sandman charges into the corner. Sandman runs into the ropes. Lethal goes for a flying clothesline, but Sandman counters it with a duck-down move. Sandman goes for a Tombstone, but Lethal reverses it. Lethal goes for the STF, but Sandman blocks it. Sandman takes him down with a bearhug.] Vm: And Sandman hits the first submission move in this match. [Lethal reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Sandman goes for spinning headscissors into a cradle, but Lethal counters it with a Hotshot. Lethal climbs to the 2nd turnbuckle and flexes his muscles.] JV: What are you showing off for? You got a match you idiot! VM: Johnny, You do the same thing in your matches. JV: Yeah but I'm good enough that I can afford to do it. [Lethal runs into the ropes. Sandman executes a dropkick to the knee. Sandman takes him down with spinning headscissors into a cradle. Desperado walks out during the match while Lethal is busy with Sandman. O'Brien come out behind him on crutches.] VM: What are they doing here? [Desperado walks right behind Deadly and taps him on the shoulder. As Deadly turns around, he is met with a right hand to the face. Desperado then flings him into a boulder, knocking Deadly unconscious.] VM: And Deadly hit that boulder hard. [Sandman nails him with a flying clothesline. Sandman nails him with a small package.] JV: A small package in a submission match? [Sandman executes a bearhug. Lethal reaches the ropes after being trapped for 21 seconds.] VM: Huge Bearhug there but Lethal refuses to submit. [Sandman goes for a Tombstone, but Lethal blocks it. Lethal takes him down with a savate kick. Lethal throws Sandman out of the ring. Lethal goes through the ropes. Lethal sets up a boulder.] VM: Lethal going for a high impact move. [Lethal sets up Sandman on the boulder. Lethal tries to drive Sandman through the table with a Tombstone, but he blocks it. Sandman goes for an armdrag takedown, but Lethal counters it with a lariat. Lethal sets up Sandman on the boulder. Lethal executes a Tombstone on the boulder. The boulder crumbles.] JV: They just don't make boulders like they use to. [Lethal throws Sandman back into the ring. Lethal climbs to the 2nd turnbuckle and flexes his muscles.. Lethal runs into the ropes. Lethal hits Sandman with a clothesline. Lethal takes him down with a double chickenwing submission. Sandman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 12 seconds.] VM: And now Lethal goes for the submission moves. JV: Not a bad idea after driving Sandman's head through a big rock. [Lethal whips Sandman into the ropes. Sandman misses with a kick. Sandman executes a facerake. Sandman executes a sleeperhold. Lethal reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Sandman goes for spinning headscissors into a cradle, but Lethal counters it with a Hotshot.] JV: Again, what is the purpose of the cradle? [Lethal goes for a savate kick, but Sandman counters it with a duck-down move. Lethal whips Sandman into the turnbuckle. Lethal runs shoulder-first into the corner. Lethal goes for a cobra clutch, but Sandman counters it with an armdrag takedown. Sandman takes him down with a flying clothesline. Sandman whips Lethal into the ropes. Sandman misses with a clothesline. Sandman executes a clothesline.] VM: Sandman misses the first one but comes back and hits the second one. [Lethal whips Sandman into the ropes. Lethal misses with a kick. Sandman hits Lethal with a clothesline. Sandman nails him with the STF. Lethal reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Sandman goes for an armdrag takedown, but Lethal counters it with a lariat. Lethal takes him down with a kneelock submission. Sandman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 6 seconds.] VM: Both men trading submission moves now. [Lethal goes for a flying dropkick, but Sandman counters it with a duck-down move. Sandman attempts to place Lethal on the turnbuckle, but Lethal blocks it. Sandman whips Lethal into the ropes. Lethal hits Sandman with an elbow. Lethal catches him in an inside cradle.] JV: Did someone explain to them what a submission match is? [Lethal leaves the ring. He returns with a Kodak Funsaver (tm). Lethal hits him with the Kodak Funsaver(tm).] VM: And Lethal steals a disposable camera from one of the fans and uses it on Sandman. [Lethal takes him down with a low blow. Sandman bumps into Sean Ceigersmidt. Lethal whips Sandman into the ropes, but Sandman reverses it. Sandman goes for spinning headscissors into a cradle, but Lethal counters it with a Hotshot.] JV: It's bad enough that Sandman keeps trying to do a spinning headscissors into a cradle in a submission match, but it's even worse when his opponent keeps countering it. [Lethal whips Sandman into the ropes. Lethal hits Sandman with a kick. Sean Ceigersmidt is back on the job. Lethal nails him with a low blow. Lethal executes a bridging back suplex. Lethal whips Sandman into the ropes. Sandman misses with a shoulderblock. Sandman goes for a facerake, but Lethal blocks it. Lethal executes a flying clothesline. Lethal whips Sandman into the ropes, but Sandman reverses it. Sandman misses with a clothesline. Lethal hits Sandman with a kick. Lethal is going for the pin.] JV: From now on, all wrestlers should have to pass an IQ test before wrestling. [Lethal leaves the ring. He returns with the stack of postcards. Lethal hits him with the stack of postcards.] JV: ooh. Better watch out for paper cuts. [Lethal nails him with a low blow. Lethal nails him with a low blow. Lethal attempts to place Sandman on the turnbuckle, but Sandman blocks it. Lethal goes for a spinning power bomb, but Sandman counters it with spinning headscissors. Sandman whips Lethal into the turnbuckle. Sandman charges into the corner. Sandman nails him with an elbowsmash. Lethal takes him down with a cobra clutch. Sandman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds. Lethal takes him down with a flying clothesline. Lethal is going for the pin.] JV: Hello? I have to say that Lethal ain't that smart of a wrestler. [Lethal takes him down with a flying sunset flip. Sandman whips Lethal into the ropes, but Lethal reverses it. Sandman misses with a clothesline. Sandman hits Lethal with an elbow. Sandman goes for a Tombstone, but Lethal reverses it. Lethal goes for a scorpion deathlock, but Sandman blocks it. Sandman executes a Frankensteiner. Sandman goes for a powerslam, but Lethal counters it with a lariat. Lethal nails him with a spinning power bomb. Lethal catches him in an inside cradle.] JV: Submission match: noun. A match between two wrestlers where the only way to win is to make your opponent give up. [Lethal goes for a flying sunset flip, but Sandman counters it with a sitdown.] JV: I can't believe these idiots. [Sandman goes for a Frankensteiner, but Lethal counters it with a power bomb. Lethal executes a flying dropkick. Lethal executes a kneebreaker. Lethal executes the Poison Ivy.] VM: And there's that figure four with the mandible claw hold. [Sandman submits after 17 seconds.] VM: And Sandman couldn't take anymore. JV: How did Ceigersmidt hear Sandman give up with that mandible claw shoved down his throat? VM: Good question. DO: The winner is Lethal, in a time of 9:25. VM: Wait a minute! Here comes Desperado!! [Desperado climbs in the ring and clotheslines Lethal in the back of the head. Lethal goes down hard. Desperado picks him up and places him on the turnbuckle. He starts slapping him around a bit while O'Brien gets in the ring with crutches and a microphone. Desperado grabs Lethal by the neck and throws him down the canvas.] O'Brien: Huh? You are such a big man now, aren't ya? HUH? You little punkasses think you can attack at will and get away with it? That you can use my finisher? that you can attack my man, D. I don't think so. If my leg wasn't hurt, I'd slap on the Figure-Four the way it should be. You know why? [O'Brien spits on Lethal] JV: But it's different than a standard figure four. Doesn't O'Brien know anything. O'Brien: CUZ I AM THE MASTER OF THE FIGURE-FOUR. If you don't agree, ask some people who have been put in it. Ask the Underground guys. D, take the crutch. Have some fun. [O'Brien hops back to the corner as someone brings him another crutch. He leaves while Desperado picks Lethal back to his feet. He sets up Lethal and DESPERATE MEASURES. Desperado starts raining blow upon blow on Lethal's prone body with the crutch. As Deadly finally gets in to help his wrestler, Desperado smashes the crutch over his head. He spits on both men and walks back to the dressing room with a smirk on his face] VM: well it was only a matter of time before we saw an attack. JV: Who cares. Let's go to the last match so we can start our vacation. DO: This next match is for the SWF Tough Man title. It is a Falls count anywhere, barbed-wire, death match. Introducing first, being led to the ring by his manager Kim Kelly, from Denver, Colorado, weighing in at 287 pounds, here is JAGGED EDGE!! ["Me Killa" by Bone Thugs n' harmony plays as Jagged Edge and Kim Kelly come down to the ring. The crowd is booing.] DO: And his opponent, being led to the ring by Carey Stone, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 243 pounds, here is the SWF Tough Man Champion, "Paralyzer" Patrick Bordeau!! ["Poison" by The Prodigy blares as Carey Stone and Bordeau make their way to the ring as the crowd boos.] VM: And these 2 meet again for the 3rd time. They met back in the SWF Tough Man Tournament, then met in a mixed tag team match and are now meeting again. [They lock up. Jagged Edge executes a choke slam. Jagged Edge flexes to the crowd.] VM: And Jagged Edge is getting cocky very early. [Jagged Edge goes for a belly-to-back suplex, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with an elbowsmash. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a tiger driver, but Jagged Edge blocks it. Jagged Edge chokes him with the Barbed Wire. Jagged Edge goes for a German suplex, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Matt Compton counts: One, two, shoulder up.] JV: I have to say that Bordeau is being quite the coward. VM: Why's that? JV: Well he waits until he HAS to defend his belt and then does it against a less than qualified wrestler. VM: Jagged Edge was the world champ at one point. JV: Yeah but he lost it on his first defense and hasn't done anything since. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the turnbuckle, but Jagged Edge reverses it. Jagged Edge runs shoulder-first into the corner. Jagged Edge executes a Gorilla Press. Jagged Edge takes him down with a spinning power bomb. Matt Compton counts: One, two, shoulder up. Jagged Edge executes a belly-to-back suplex. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a tiger driver. Matt Compton counts: One, two, kickout.] VM: So why do you think Edge was able to win the belt and then had the sudden drop in performance? JV: Easy. I've heard through some rather reliable sources that he was taking steroids, and that the commish caught him right after he won the belt. So instead of suspending their first champ, he kept the whole thing quiet. And we've seen how well Edge has done without the drugs. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a standing moonsault, but Jagged Edge counters it with a kneelift. Jagged Edge goes for the Stinger Splash, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with a side step. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with an abdominal stretch. Jagged Edge reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Jagged Edge takes him down with the Doctor Bomb. Matt Compton counts: One, shoulder up. Jagged Edge executes a bearhug. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Jagged Edge goes for a DDT, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with a backdrop. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau yells "It's time to get wrecked!".] JV: That saying is getting rather old. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a kick to the midsection, but Jagged Edge blocks it. Jagged Edge chokes him with the Barbed Wire. Jagged Edge places Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the turnbuckle. Jagged Edge executes a belly-to-back superplex. Jagged Edge executes a powerslam. Matt Compton counts: One, two, shoulder up. Jagged Edge complains about a slow count. Jagged Edge nails him with a bearhug. Jagged Edge lets go after 12 seconds.] JV: Why did you let go you idiot? VM: I'm sure he had his reasons. JV: Yeah, he's stupid. [Jagged Edge catches him in a Northern Lights suplex. Matt Compton counts: One, two, shoulder up. Jagged Edge executes a backspin DDT. Jagged Edge nails him with a powerslam. Matt Compton counts: One, two, kickout. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau throws Jagged Edge out of the ring. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes through the ropes. They're brawling inside the Grand Canyon. Jagged Edge goes for a powerslam, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with a lariat. In turn, Jagged Edge counters it with a duck-down move. They're brawling inside the Grand Canyon. Jagged Edge nails him with a roundhouse right. Jagged Edge grabs a pick-axe. Jagged Edge hits him with the pick-axe.] VM: We really should've moved the pack mules out of the area before the matches. [Jagged Edge throws Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the river. Jagged Edge takes him down with a double underhook piledriver. Jagged Edge hits him with the pick-axe. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau is busted wide open.] VM: And the river turns red from the blood of Patrick Bordeau. [They're brawling in the river. Jagged Edge grabs a large trout. Jagged Edge slaps him around a bit hits him with the large trout.] UTenn Student: Hey that's my idea!! JV: slapping someone with a large trout is that annoying college students idea? VM: Who knows? [Jagged Edge flexes to the crowd. Jagged Edge slaps him around a bit hits him with the large trout. They're brawling in the river. Jagged Edge flexes to the crowd.] JV: Stop showing off you idiot. [Jagged Edge slaps him around a bit hits him with the large trout. Jagged Edge throws Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau back onto the shore. Jagged Edge goes for a powerslam, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with a lariat. Jagged Edge is busted wide open.] VM: And now Jagged Edge is bleeding. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau chokes him with the Barbed Wire. They're brawling inside the Grand Canyon. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau throws Jagged Edge over the Boulder. They're brawling up the mule trail. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a bodyslam. Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau.] VM: Uh-oh. JV: Managers should've probably been banned from this one. [Jagged Edge goes for a German suplex, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with an elbowsmash. Carey Stone comes from behind, but Jagged Edge nails Carey Stone. Carey Stone comes from behind and distracts Jagged Edge. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes the Ice Pick on the mule trail and goes for the pin. Matt Compton counts: One, two, thr... kickout.] VM: And Edge is barely able to kick out in time. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau sets up a mule. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau chokes him with the Barbed Wire. They're brawling on the mule trail. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau sets up Jagged Edge on the mule. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a tiger driver through the mule. The mule collapses.] VM: This really is cruelty to animals. [They're brawling up the mule trail. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau grabs a rock. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits him with the rock. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a clothesline. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a grapevine. Jagged Edge manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 8 seconds. They're brawling down the mule trail Jagged Edge knocks Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau off the ledge.] VM: And Jagged Edge has thrown Bordeau off the trail. But luckily Bordeau landed on the ledge below. [Jagged Edge knocks Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau off the trail. Jagged Edge catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Matt Compton counts: One, two, three.] VM: And Bordeau gets pinned. Now can he get up before the ten count? [Matt Compton counts: one, Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau gets back to his feet.] VM: With no trouble what so ever. JV: I'm impressed. [Jagged Edge goes for the Shattered Dreams, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with a jawbreaker. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau is going for the pin. Matt Compton counts: One, two, three.] VM: And that jawbreaker really hurt Edge. JV: What you didn't see is that when Edge fell, his head landed right on a rock. [Matt Compton counts: one, two, three, four, five,] VM: Edge is not moving. JV: I think that rock knocked him out. [six, seven, eight, nine, ten.] VM: And that is it! Bordeau has retained his belt. [The scene cuts back to the locker room trailer where O'Brien is tied up so he can't move. It then cuts to the ring where we see Desperado coming to ringside with a chair. As the final ring bell rings, Desperado comes in and nails the Bordeau over the head with the chair. As Bordeau gets up again, Desperado cranks him over the head again] VM: Oh boy here we go again. Desperado: Toughman? HA! I am on of the toughest SOB's here. I would be the champ if it wasn't for ANYWAY. JV: What did he say? VM: I don't know I couldn't hear him. Desperado: Booker. You think your sorry ass could keep me from showing up? HA! You send any sorry opponent down. Mean Mark. JV: Mean Mark? VM: I think he means Monster Mark. Desperado: Tuk Tuk. I don't care. It's very simple. I'll kick their ass. I don't have any problem with that. It's YOU that has the problem. you can ban me for wrasslin all you want. Technically I am allowed to be here tonight cuz I didn't wrestle. I kicked ass. If you try to take me outta here, I'll get you in court so in fast, it ain't funny. You said I couldn't wrestle and I didn't. I came and did my thing. I proved I am not gonna be messed with. Ventures or McMihn. Tuk Tuk, Time Warp. Folks, get ready cuz it's time to take some DESPERATE MEASURES! (he drops the microphone with a resounding thud) JV: Yeah, whatever, I'm on vacation now. VM: Well I'm sure Booker Brian Frenck will have some words for Desperado. But that is it for us tonight. For Johnny Ventures, who has already left, I'm Vance McMihn saying so long. [fade to black] The winner is Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau. Time of match: 0:09:34. 8 minutes have gone by. ~~~~~ Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau (w/Carey Stone) vs Jagged Edge (w/ Kim Kelly) 0 % 0 % > They are on the first floor. ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ Jagged Edge manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 8 seconds. They're brawling down the stairway. Jagged Edge knocks Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the stairway. They're brawling on the first floor. Jagged Edge knocks Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the stairway. Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau. Jagged Edge catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Matt Compton counts: One, two, three. Matt Compton counts: one, Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau gets back to his feet. Jagged Edge goes for the Shattered Dreams, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with a jawbreaker. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau is going for the pin. Matt Compton counts: One, two, three. Matt Compton counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. The winner is Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau. Time of match: 0:09:34.