[Screen fades up to an aerial shot of the Empire State Building as
"Power Underneath Despair" by Blue Oyster Cult plays (available now on
the Summer Daze Tour CD.   Check it out.  Its pretty good.  Definitely a
lot better than that Our Lady Peace crap that one of the other writers
likes so much :) )   The screen then dissolves to the top floor which now
has a ring, and tons of fans, then dissolves to a shot of Vance McMihn and
Johnny Ventures]

VM: Hello and welcome to the big apple for SWF Slaughterhouse, live from
the top floor of the Empire State Building.

JV: Yeah it's really cool to be up here.  Watch this. [Johnny runs over
to a window, opens it, and drops a penny.]

VM: You realize that dropping objects from the Empire State building is
illegal, don't you?

JV: Who cares.

VM: Well, we have got quite a lineup for you tonight.  We'll be seeing new
comer Brian Christian take on Mr. Roboto.

JV: Brian Christian?  What's his nickname?

VM: He doesn't have one.

JV: He'll never make it in this business.

VM: Also in a battle of newcomers we'll see The Reaper taking on The
Chimera, Marc Jasper.

JV: What's with all of these newcomers wrestling on our show?  We'll
never get good ratings as long as we get these guys instead of the big
names.

VM: Hey, Booker Frenck could've scheduled those two against Deaf Leopard
and Monster Mark.

JV: That would've been deadly.  We would've had 4 matches with jobbers
then.

VM: I keep telling you they're not jobbers.  Time Warp beat Zamron the
Martian just last week.

JV: Only because Referee Mark Matarese was unconscious when Zamron tagged
all four corners.

VM: And that's why we have their rematch again tonight.  Also we'll see
Damien Grundy and Moon Dog Gator lock up.

JV: I'm sure we'll see some REAL intelligent wrestling in that one.

VM: And finally, what was suppose to be our main event a couple weeks
ago, we'll see Jesse Aires and Desperado square off in that Trial By
Fire Death Match.  Now let's go to our special ring announcer this week,
he is the.....Please say this isn't right.

[Johnny grabs the paper from Vance]

JV: He is the King of All Media, has his own syndicated radio show, a tv
show on E! tv, 2 books and recently had his first movie, please welcome
Howard Stern!!!

[Howard Stern walks down to the center of the ring as the crowd goes
nuts!]

JV: Bummer, I thought he would come in his Fartman costume.

VM: I'd have to say that his appearance on the MTV awards in that costume
a couple years ago was the most disgusting act I have ever seen.

JV: You would.

HS: Hello New York City!!!!  Man there are some gorgeous babes in the
audience tonight.  Well let's go to the first match.  This match is a
Table Death match.  The only way to win is to drive your opponent
through a table and then have him unable to answer the 10 count. From
Tokyo, Japan, boy isn't it enough that they can kick our ass in making
any type of electrical or mechanical device?, weighing in at 210 pounds,
here is Mr. Roboto!!!  Wasn't that a Styx song?

["Mr. Roboto" by Styx blares through the loudspeakers as Mr. Roboto
walks down to the ring slapping a few fans hands.  He gets a mixed
reaction from the crowd.]

HS: Well I guess that answers my question.  His opponent, accompanied by
the Lovely & Buxom Lisa, from Vancouver, Canada, weighing in at 237
pounds, here is Brian Christian!!  Hey Lisa, what do you say you ditch that
loser and spend an evening with me?

["Living on the Edge" by Aerosmith blares as Lisa and Brian make their
way down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans.  The crowd cheers
him on.]

VM: This should be a great match between 2 exciting high flyers.

[They lock up.
Mr. Roboto whips Brian Christian into the ropes.
Mr. Roboto goes for a kick to the head, but Brian Christian counters it with
a duck-down move.
Brian Christian goes for an inverted atomic drop, but Mr. Roboto blocks it.
Mr. Roboto goes for a double underhook backbreaker, but Brian Christian
blocks it.
Brian Christian attempts to place Mr. Roboto on the turnbuckle, but Mr. Roboto
blocks it.]

JV: Not much high flying but a hell of a lot of blocks.

[Brian Christian throws Mr. Roboto out of the ring.
Brian Christian jumps onto him with a Suicide Plancha, but Mr. Roboto
moves out of the way.
Brian Christian is out cold.]

VM: Oh my!!  Mr. Roboto moved out of the way and Brian Christian hit the
guardrail head first.

JV: Well that Suicide Plancha was just that.  Suicide.

[Mr. Roboto throws Brian Christian back into the ring.
Mr. Roboto brings the table into the ring.
Brian Christian nails him with a slingshot facebuster.]

JV: Roboto made a mistake bringing the table in.  The extra time it took
him to ring it gave Brian a chance to recover.

[Brian Christian goes for a flying dropkick, but Mr. Roboto counters it with
a duck-down move.
Brian Christian whips Mr. Roboto into the ropes.
Mr. Roboto nails him with a rana.]

VM: a very well executed rana there by the masked man.

[Mr. Roboto goes for a backspin DDT, but Brian Christian blocks it.
Brian Christian takes him down with a double underhook suplex.
Brian Christian goes for a German suplex, but Mr. Roboto blocks it.
Mr. Roboto executes a dropkick to the knee.]

JV: Sure is a lot of back and forth action going on.

VM: Well these two men have matched up very evenly.  Although I think
Roboto has the upperhand since Brian did miss that suicide plancha.

[Mr. Roboto whips Brian Christian into the ropes.
Mr. Roboto misses with a shoulderblock.
Brian Christian goes for a Steinerline, but Mr. Roboto counters it with
a duck-down move.
Brian Christian goes for a spinebuster slam, but Mr. Roboto counters it with
a swinging neckbreaker.]

JV: Brian is beginning to remind me of a storm trooper.

VM: How's that?

JV: Neither of them can hit a damn thing.

[Mr. Roboto takes him down with a standing moonsault.
Mr. Roboto nails him with a rana.
Mr. Roboto takes him down with a full nelson.]

VM: And a nice series of moves by the former Japanese Champion.

JV: Roboto was a champ?
VM: Don't you read any of the bios Johnny?  He was a cruiserweight champ
over in a Japanese fed before coming to america.

[Brian Christian reaches the ropes after being trapped for 13 seconds.
Mr. Roboto whips Brian Christian into the turnbuckle.
Brian Christian comes back, but is met with a kick to the midsection.
Mr. Roboto goes for an enzuilariato, but Brian Christian counters it with
a duck-down move.
Brian Christian goes for a jumping DDT, but Mr. Roboto counters it with
a backdrop.]

VM: Brian manages to dodge that enzuilariato, but only to have his move
countered.

[Mr. Roboto runs into the ropes.
Mr. Roboto takes him down with an enzuilariato.
Mr. Roboto places Brian Christian on the turnbuckle.
Mr. Roboto catches him in a double underhook superplex.]

VM: Huge superplex there!

JV: And now Roboto is bringing over the table.

[Mr. Roboto sets up Brian Christian on the table.
Mr. Roboto executes an Asai moonsault through the table.
The table is broken in half.]

VM: And that Asai moonsault sends Brian Christian through the table for
the first fall.  Now he has to get up before Referee Scott Thomas counts
to 10.

[Scott Thomas counts: one, two, three,]

VM: Brian Christian is not moving.

JV: well with the way the table broke, Brian went down head first.  He
had already been knocked unconscious once.

[four, five, six, seven, eight,]

VM: This would be another huge upset if Brian can't get up.

[nine, ten.]

JV: Unbelievable.  Another jobber won.

VM: I told you, they're not jobbers.

JV: Whatever.

HS: The winner is Mr. Roboto, in a time of 3:25.  See Lisa, I told
you that Brian chump was a loser.

[Mr. Roboto walks back to the lockerrooms  with his arms raised.  The
paramedics put Brian Christian on a stretcher and take him back to the
lockerrooms while Lisa holds his hand.]

VM: I think that if there is a lesson to be learned, it's not too
underestimate the Slaughterhouse resident wrestlers.  They've had a
victory for the 2nd week in a row.  Let's go back up to the man who
should be banned from TV and Radio.

HS: Hey, Screw you McMihn!  At least I don't sell steroids to my
wrestlers.

JV: That true McMihn?

VM: I think he's getting me confused with a fed head of another
wrestling organization.

HS: All right this next match is a coffin match.  You know I've always
wanted to have sex in a coffin.  First being led to the ring by his
manager, The Ripper, from Holland Amsterdam...

JV: I always thought Holland was just another name for Amsterdam.

VM: I did too.

HS: weighing in at 427 pounds, here is The Reaper!!

[A church bell begins to ring as Reaper and Ripper start walking towards
the ring.  The crowd boos loudly.]

JV: Oh great, just what we need.  An Undertaker ripoff.

HS: And his opponent, from Hudson Valley, New York, weighing in at 245
pounds, here is Marc Jasper, "The Chimera"!!  What the hell is a
Chimera?

["Dream Warriors" by Dokken plays as Marc Jasper makes his way to the
ring.  The crowd cheers him on.]

VM: And the roadies are bringing down the extra large casket to
ringside.

[They lock up.
The Reaper places Marc Jasper on the turnbuckle.
The Reaper nails him with a belly-to-back superplex.]

JV: What a loser!  He gets hit with a superplex right off the back.

VM: Well I think Jasper is a bit unsure hot go about this match with a
man that is considerably larger than him.

[The Reaper whips Marc Jasper into the ropes.
Marc Jasper hits The Reaper with a kick.
Marc Jasper whips The Reaper into the ropes.
The Reaper executes a clothesline.]
JV: Jasper should've stayed on him.

[The Reaper executes a piledriver.
The Reaper whips Marc Jasper into the ropes, but Marc Jasper reverses it.
The Reaper takes him down with a jumping DDT.
The Reaper whips Marc Jasper into the turnbuckle, but Marc Jasper reverses it.
Marc Jasper runs shoulder-first into the corner, but The Reaper
moves out of the way.
The Reaper nails him with a dropkick to the knee.
The Reaper goes for a powerslam, but Marc Jasper counters it with a lariat.
In turn, The Reaper counters it with a duck-down move.]

VM: So far the Reaper has been one step ahead of Jasper the entire time.

[The Reaper executes a choke slam.
The Reaper places Marc Jasper on the turnbuckle.
The Reaper executes the Reaper's Piledriver.]

VM: And there's that top-rope piledriver finisher of the Reaper's.

JV: I really hope he doesn't win.  People with unoriginal gimmicks
shouldn't win matches.

[The Reaper takes him down with a fist to the midsection.
The Reaper goes for a headbutt, but Marc Jasper blocks it.
Marc Jasper whips The Reaper into the ropes.
Marc Jasper misses with a clothesline.
The Reaper hits Marc Jasper with a clothesline.]

VM: So far this match has been all Reaper.

[The Reaper goes for a headbutt, but Marc Jasper blocks it.
Marc Jasper whips The Reaper into the ropes.
The Reaper executes a fist to the midsection.
The Reaper places Marc Jasper on the turnbuckle.
The Reaper executes a superplex.
The Reaper tries to put Marc Jasper in the Coffin.
Marc Jasper blocks it.]

JV: Can I get a "Reaper Sucks" chant going here?

[Crowd starts to chant "Reaper Sucks!"]

VM: Don't you think you're being a bit hard on him?

JV: Hey, We got Coldblooded to drop the Sting gimmick.  If we play are
cards right we can get this guy to drop the Undertaker gimmick.

VM: While his gimmick does suck, he is a good wrestler at least.

JV: Oh sure, maybe against a featherweight like Jasper.  Let's see how
he does against a bigger man.

[Marc Jasper goes for a somersault legdrop, but The Reaper counters it with
a roll away.
The Reaper nails him with a diving shoulderblock.
The Reaper tries to put Marc Jasper in the Coffin.
The Reaper stuffs Marc Jasper in the Coffin.
The Reaper can't close the lid.
Marc Jasper reenters the ring.]

VM: Ok, like how about the man you are managing now Tuk Tuk the Eskimo?

JV: I think Tuk Tuk could take him on.

[Marc Jasper whips The Reaper into the ropes.
Marc Jasper executes a kick to the thigh.
Marc Jasper goes for a short clothesline, but The Reaper counters it with
a duck-down move.
The Reaper places Marc Jasper on the turnbuckle.
The Reaper executes a superplex.]

VM: I still can't believe that you're managing Tuk Tuk.

JV: Hey, he realized what a talented wrestler I was and decided to have
me manage him.

VM: Talented wrestler?  You lost to him!

JV: Yeah but I put up quite a fight for being out of the ring for 3
years.

[The Reaper takes him down with a fist to the midsection.
The Reaper takes him down with a kick to the midsection.
The Reaper places Marc Jasper on the turnbuckle.
The Reaper takes him down with a superplex.]

VM: reaper sure is hitting a lot of those top rope maneuvers.

[The Reaper runs into the ropes.
Marc Jasper goes for a lariat, but The Reaper counters it with a duck-down
move.]

JV: Reaper is 7'4!  How the hell can a 7'4 person duck?

[The Reaper throws Marc Jasper out of the ring.
The Reaper goes through the ropes.
The Ripper comes from behind, but Marc Jasper nails The Ripper.]

VM: And Jasper punches Ripper right in the mouth.  Ripper could almost
pass as Reaper's twin brother.

JV: Great, we get two Undertaker rip offs in one!

[The Reaper nails him with a bearhug.
The Reaper executes a choke slam.
The Reaper reenters the ring.
Marc Jasper follows him back in.
The Reaper whips Marc Jasper into the ropes, but Marc Jasper reverses it.
Marc Jasper misses with a clothesline.
Marc Jasper takes him down with a kick to the head.]

VM: And Mark Jasper hits an offensive move!!!

[Marc Jasper runs into the ropes.
The Reaper misses with a clothesline.
The Reaper takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker.
The Reaper whips Marc Jasper into the ropes.
The Reaper goes for a swinging neckbreaker, but Marc Jasper counters it with
a side suplex.
Marc Jasper points and laughs at his opponent.]

JV: Is Marc watching the same match we are?

VM: I'd have to assume not, cuz I don't think he would dare laugh when
he's getting beaten so soundly.

[Marc Jasper tries to put The Reaper in the Coffin.
Marc Jasper stuffs The Reaper in the Coffin.
Marc Jasper can't close the lid.]

JV: I don't know what Jasper was thinking there.  Trying to  put the
Undertaker, I mean the Reaper, in the coffin after just a couple offensive
moves.

[The Reaper reenters the ring.
The Reaper nails him with a flying headbutt.
The Reaper whips Marc Jasper into the ropes.
The Reaper nails him with a jumping DDT.
The Reaper tries to put Marc Jasper in the Coffin.
The Reaper stuffs Marc Jasper in the Coffin.
The Reaper can't close the lid.]

VM: I'm surprised that Reaper can't put Jasper away yet.

[Marc Jasper reenters the ring.
Marc Jasper goes for a flying bodypress, but The Reaper counters it with
a roll away.
The Reaper nails him with a choke slam.
The Reaper tries to put Marc Jasper in the Coffin.
Marc Jasper blocks it.
Marc Jasper executes the Dream Weaver.]

VM: And out of nowhere, Jasper hits that flying somersault bulldog
finisher of his.

[Marc Jasper takes him down with a jumping DDT.
Marc Jasper throws The Reaper out of the ring.
Marc Jasper goes through the ropes.
Marc Jasper takes him down with a European uppercut.
The Reaper is busted wide open.]

JV: All right!  that's what I want to see!

[The Ripper comes from behind and distracts Marc Jasper.]

JV: Wasn't the Ripper Hulk Hogan's name in that god awful movie "No
Holds Barred"?

VM: I believe it was.  And there was some guy who played an announcer at
the beginning of that movie that reminded me an awful lot of you.

JV: Really, who was that?

VM: I can't remember his name.

[The Reaper nails him with a clothesline.
The Reaper throws Marc Jasper back into the ring.
The Reaper brings the table into the ring.
Marc Jasper whips The Reaper into the ropes, but The Reaper reverses it.
The Reaper hits Marc Jasper with a clothesline.
The Reaper places Marc Jasper on the turnbuckle.
The Reaper executes the Reaper's Piledriver.]

VM: And there's another top-rope piledriver.

[The Reaper runs into the ropes.
The Reaper misses with a clothesline.
The Reaper takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker.
The Reaper nails him with a powerslam.]

JV: Jasper is just dead weight now.

[The Reaper takes him down with a backspin DDT.
The Reaper executes a bodyslam.
The Reaper tries to put Marc Jasper in the Coffin.
The Reaper stuffs Marc Jasper in the Coffin.
The Reaper closes the lid.]

VM: And that's all she wrote.  I very impressive victory for The
Undertaker rip-off.

JV: Or a very pathetic showing by "The Chimera."

HS: The winner is The Reaper, in a time of match: 6:54.

[Suddenly Sandman comes running down the aisle with a pitchfork.  He
hits Ripper right in the back of the head with the handle knocking him
unconscious.]

JV: Hey all right!  Someone's gonna teach him a lesson!

[Sandman jumps into the rings.  Reaper turns around to see what's
happening.  Just as he turns around, Sandman swipes at him with the
pitchfork, tearing the Reaper's suit and cutting his chest open.]

JV: Don't swipe at him!  Jab him with the pitchfork!!!

[The Reaper grabs his chest in pain.  Sandman hits the Reaper repeatedly
in the head with the handle of the pitchfork.  Sandman then throws
Reaper out of the ring.  Sandman climbs to the top turnbuckle and jumps
off striking the reaper over the head with the pitchfork hard enough to
knock him out and break the pitchfork in half.  Sandman then opens up
the coffin.  Marc Jasper starts to struggle to get out.  Sandman punches
Jasper right in the face knocking him unconscious again.]

VM: There was no need for that.  Jasper was barely conscious to begin
with.

[Sandman then pulls Jasper out of the coffin and throws him to the
ground.  he then puts the Reaper in the coffin and then the Ripper in
on top of him.]

Sandman: Welcome to the SWF!

[Sandman then closes the coffin and then laughs as he walks back to the
lockerrooms.]

JV: Let's give Sandman a nice round of applause.

VM: You really do disgust me sometimes Johnny.

JV: So what?

VM: Well this next match will be taking place on the roof of the Empire
State Building.  It is our "Can Lightning Strike Twice?" Match.  We
have but up the cage around the perimeter of the roof for safety
reasons.

JV: Who cares about safety?

VM: Well we still haven't seen or heard from Ronnie Martin since being
thrown off the Golden Gate bridge.  I really don't think we want to have
someone thrown off the Empire State Building.

JV: Would it be such a big loss if Zamron or Time Warp, or better yet,
both of them fell to their deaths?

VM: I can't believe you even asked that.

HS: All right let's go to the roof for this next match.  The following
match is a "Can Lightning Strike Twice?" Match.  This match will be in
on the rooftop enclosed in a steel cage, with both opponents given
lightning rod.  Introducing first, from somewhere in time, yeah right,
weighing in at 250 pounds, here is Time Warp!!

["Back In Time" by Huey Lewis blares through the PA system as he runs
down to the aisle.  The crowd cheers him on.]

JM: And his opponent, being led to the roof by Tolok The Thinker, from
Mars, hey you know, that's where Fred Norris is from, weighing in at
265 pounds, here is Zamron the Martian!!

[The Soviet national Anthem plays as Tolok and Zamron come down to the
ring.  The crowd boos loudly.]

VM: And now we'll get to see if lightning really can strike twice.  Can
Time Warp defeat Zamron again.

JV: Well seeing how Mr. Roboto beat Brian Christian earlier, I'd say
anything is possible.  I've also noticed that they got Ceigersmidt
reffing this time too instead of Matarese.  Which really is a shame
because Reverend Matarese really is the best ref out there.

[They lock up.
Time Warp goes for a spinning leg lariat, but Zamron The Martian
counters it with a duck-down move.
Zamron The Martian takes him down with a snap suplex.
Time Warp hits Zamron The Martian with a shoulderblock.
Time Warp yells "You're running out of time!" to his opponent.]

JV: Here we go again.

[Time Warp takes him down with a Boston crab.
Zamron The Martian breaks the hold after 15 seconds.
Zamron The Martian executes a jumping side kick.
Zamron The Martian scrapes Time Warp's face across the cage.]

JV: Now see, if that cage hadn't been there, we could've had two more
openings in the SWF wrestling sector.

[Zamron The Martian executes a spin kick.
Zamron The Martian hits him with the lightning rod.
Zamron The Martian goes for the Martian Death Grip, but Time Warp
counters it with a fist to the midsection.]

VM: Time Warp able to counter that submission hold finisher of Zamron's.

[Time Warp executes a chop.
Time Warp executes an octopus hold.
Zamron The Martian breaks the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Time Warp goes for a jumping elbow thrust, but Zamron The Martian
counters it with a duck-down move.
Zamron The Martian goes for a DDT, but Time Warp counters it with a backdrop.
Zamron The Martian goes for neck-scissors, but Time Warp counters it with
a duck-down move.
Zamron The Martian misses with an elbow.]

VM: and there's a whole lot of blocking and countering going on.

JV: And don't forget missing.

[Zamron The Martian misses with a clothesline.
Zamron The Martian hits Time Warp with an elbow.
Zamron The Martian executes a spin kick.
Zamron The Martian goes for the Martian Death Grip, but Time Warp
counters it with a facerake.]

VM: And again Time Warp counters Zamron's finisher.

[Time Warp goes for a dropkick to the knee, but Zamron The Martian
counters it with a side step.
Zamron The Martian catches him in a flying legdrop.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout.
Time Warp nails him with an Asai moonsault.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout.
Time Warp places Zamron The Martian on the ledge.]

JV: Jump! Jump!

[Time Warp goes for a double underhook superplex, but Zamron The Martian
blocks it.
Zamron The Martian throws Time Warp off the ledge.]

JV: Of course he had to throw him back onto the roof.

VM: well it would've been rather hard to push him off the other way with
the steel cage in the way.

[Zamron The Martian executes a thrust kick to the head.
Zamron The Martian goes for an elbowdrop, but Time Warp counters it with
a roll away.
Time Warp goes for a flying somersault headbutt, but Zamron The Martian
counters it with a roll away.]

JV: Let the good times roll.

[Zamron The Martian chokes him with the lightning rod.
Zamron The Martian takes him down with a faceslam.
Zamron The Martian is going for the pin.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: Only a two count there by the alien.

[Zamron The Martian scrapes Time Warp's face across the cage.
Zamron The Martian executes a savate kick.
Zamron The Martian grinds Time Warp's face across the cage.
Zamron The Martian takes him down with a savate kick.
Zamron The Martian executes a kneelift.
Zamron The Martian nails him with a double-axhandle chop.
Zamron The Martian nails him with a double-axhandle chop.]

VM: And Zamron is on fire!

JV: [in Marvin the Martian voice] Freeze Earthling or I'll
shall destroy you with my disintegrator ray.

[Zamron The Martian chokes him with the lightning rod.
Zamron The Martian executes an elbowsmash.
Zamron The Martian grinds Time Warp's face across the cage.
Time Warp is busted wide open.]

VM: And our favorite Time traveler is busted open.

JV: I like Doc Brown and Marty McFly much more than I like him.

[Zamron The Martian goes for a faceslam, but Time Warp blocks it.
Time Warp nails him with a short clothesline.
Time Warp takes him down with an elbowdrop.
Zamron The Martian goes for a faceslam, but Time Warp blocks it.
Time Warp places Zamron The Martian on the ledge.
Time Warp catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex.]

VM: Nice belly-to-belly superplex onto the concrete roof.

[Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout.
Time Warp rakes Zamron The Martian's face across the cage.
Time Warp takes him down with the Doctor Bomb.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, kickout.
Time Warp takes him down with a moonsault.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, three.]

VM: and Time Warp get's the first pin!

JV: Unbelievable.

[Sean Ceigersmidt counts: one, two, three, four, five, six,]

VM: Zamron is struggling to his feet.

[seven, Zamron The Martian gets back to his feet.]

VM: good thing he got back to his feet.  If he lost again he would be
the laughing stock of the SWF.

JV: He already is.  First, he thinks he's a martian.  2nd, he lost to
Time Warp last week, and third, he lost the first pin to Time Warp in
this match.

[Time Warp hits him with the lightning rod.
Time Warp attempts to place Zamron The Martian on the ledge, but
Zamron The Martian blocks it.
Time Warp rakes Zamron The Martian's face across the cage.
Time Warp misses with an elbow.
Zamron The Martian nails him with a clothesline.
Time Warp bumps into Sean Ceigersmidt.]

VM: And that clothesline caused Time Warp to collide with Sean
Ceigersmidt.

JV: I can hear the bitching already.

[Zamron The Martian executes a hiptoss.
Zamron The Martian nails him with a powerslam.
There is no referee to count.
Zamron The Martian rakes Time Warp's face across the cage.
Zamron The Martian takes him down with a faceslam.
Zamron The Martian chokes him with the lightning rod.]

JV: Notice how Zamron starts to take control while the ref is out?

[Zamron The Martian executes the Martian Death Grip.
There is no referee there to ask Time Warp.
Sean Ceigersmidt is back on the job.
Time Warp manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 6 seconds.
Time Warp executes a knee to the back.]

JV: and now that the ref is back, Time Warp will be in control.

[Time Warp takes him down with a Frankensteiner.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout.
Time Warp grinds Zamron The Martian's face across the cage.
Zamron The Martian executes a kneelift.
Time Warp takes him down with an enzuigiri.
Time Warp yells "You're running out of time!" to his opponent.
Time Warp nails him with a chop.
Time Warp places Zamron The Martian on the ledge.
Time Warp executes a superplex.
Time Warp is going for the pin.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, three.]

VM: And Time Warp again gets the pin.

JV: I think Zamron needs to pack up and leave the world of wrestling.

[Sean Ceigersmidt counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, Zamron The Martian
gets back to his feet.]

VM: Zamron was able to get back to his feet.

[Time Warp takes him down with a moonsault.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Time Warp executes a reverse flying elbowdrop.
Time Warp chokes him with the lightning rod.
Time Warp executes a flying somersault bodyblock.
Time Warp whips Zamron The Martian into the corner.
Time Warp runs shoulder-first into the corner.
Time Warp attempts to place Zamron The Martian on the ledge, but
Zamron The Martian blocks it.
Time Warp nails him with a chop.
Time Warp takes him down with an enzuigiri.]

VM: Time Warp is just all over Zamron.

[Zamron The Martian takes him down with a jumping side kick.
Zamron The Martian goes for a powerslam, but Time Warp counters it with a
lariat.
Time Warp rakes Zamron The Martian's face across the cage.
Time Warp whips Zamron The Martian into the corner, but Zamron The Martian
reverses it.
Time Warp comes back and rocks Zamron The Martian with a monkey flip.]

JV: That's different.

[Time Warp attempts to place Zamron The Martian on the ledge, but
Zamron The Martian blocks it.
Time Warp nails him with the Doctor Bomb.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Time Warp chokes him with the lightning rod.
Time Warp nails him with a dropkick to the knee.
Time Warp rakes Zamron The Martian's face across the cage.
Zamron The Martian is busted wide open.]

JV: I still find it ironic that martian blood looks just like human
blood.

[Time Warp takes him down with a short clothesline.
Time Warp executes an enzuigiri.
Time Warp goes for a short clothesline, but Zamron The Martian counters it with
a duck-down move.
Zamron The Martian rakes Time Warp's face across the cage.
Zamron The Martian goes for a savate kick, but Time Warp counters it with
a duck-down move.
Time Warp executes a chop.
Time Warp nails him with an octopus hold.]

JV: As soon as Zamron starts to take control, he loses it.

[Zamron The Martian breaks the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Time Warp executes a chop.
Time Warp goes for an octopus hold, but Zamron The Martian counters it with
a hiptoss.
Zamron The Martian goes for a moonsault, but Time Warp counters it with
a roll away.
Time Warp yells "You're running out of time!" to his opponent.
Time Warp nails him with a jumping neck snap.
Zamron The Martian takes him down with spinning headscissors.
Zamron The Martian executes the Martian Death Grip.
Time Warp submits immediately.]

JV: Smart move by Timewarp.  So what if he loses a fall.  he manages to
prevent that Death grip from being applied.

[Sean Ceigersmidt counts: one, two, three, four,]

VM: Time Warp is yet to try to stand back on his feet.

[five, six, seven, eight, nine,]

VM: I'm afraid that might be it.
JV: Well Time Warp did have an excellent showing tonight.

[Time Warp gets back to his feet.]

JV & VM: What?!

[Time Warp takes him down with a knee to the back.
Zamron The Martian hits Time Warp with a kick.
Zamron The Martian goes for a moonsault, but Time Warp counters it with
a roll away.]

JV: I think Time Warp was playing possum.  He only stayed down that long
to fool Zamron and to rest up some more.

[Time Warp takes him down with a short clothesline.
Time Warp chokes him with the lightning rod.
Time Warp executes a jumping neck snap.
Time Warp nails him with a chop.
Zamron The Martian executes a faceslam.
Zamron The Martian executes a slingshot.
Zamron The Martian is going for the pin.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, thr... kickout.]

VM: And Time Warp was barely able to kick out there.

[Zamron The Martian takes him down with a DDT.
Zamron The Martian takes him down with a moonsault.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, three.]

VM: And Zamron gets a pin.  But can Time Warp make it back up this time?
He barely did last time.

[Sean Ceigersmidt counts: one, two, three, four, five, six,]

JV: Unfortunately I think Time Warp is calling it quits.

[seven, eight, nine, ten.]

VM: And that is it.  A valiant effort by Time Warp but Zamron was just
too much.

JV: Zamron is just lucky that this was a death match.  Otherwise he
would've lost since Time Warp got the first pin.  Not to mention the
2nd pin.

HS: The winner is Zamron The Martian, in a time of 12:43.

VM: Next up we have a match between two of the more bizarre individuals.
let's go to Howard Stern for the intros.

HS: All right.  Listen up.  This next match is a falls count anywhere
Chain Death Match.  Introducing first, being led to the ring by his
manager Bones Douglas, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing in at 390
pounds, here is Damien Grundy!!
["Lock up the Wolves" by Dio blares as Damien and Bones walk down to the
ring.  Bones is carrying a guitar case with him.  The crowd gives a
mixed reaction.]

HS: His opponent, from Jackson, Mississippi, weighing in at 370 pounds,
here is Moon Dog Gator!!

["Bring the Noise" by Anthrax & Public Enemy blares as Moon Dog runs
down to the ring.  The crowd gives him a mixed reaction.]

VM: This ought to be a good match between 2 similar people.

JV: yeah, they're both retards.

VM: Johnny!

JV: oh yeah, they're both hicks too.

[They lock up.
Damien Grundy chokes him with the Chain.
Damien Grundy places Moon Dog Gator on the turnbuckle.
Damien Grundy catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, in the ropes...
Damien Grundy howls like a wolf.]

VM: Damien almost got the first pin but was too close to the ropes.

JV: We also got a howler and a barker.

VM: Will you stop?

[Damien Grundy hits him with the Chain.
Damien Grundy goes for a moonsault, but Moon Dog Gator counters it with
a roll away.
Moon Dog Gator goes for a Big Leg Drop, but Damien Grundy counters it with
a roll away.]

JV: Rolling down the River.

[Moon Dog Gator executes a roundhouse right.
Damien Grundy executes a clawhold.
Moon Dog Gator manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 7 seconds.
Moon Dog Gator executes an elbowsmash.
Moon Dog Gator goes for the D-Dog-T, but Damien Grundy counters it with
a Hotshot.]

VM: Damien managed to counter that turnbuckle DDT finisher of Moon
Dog's.

[Damien Grundy executes a double underhook piledriver.
Damien Grundy whips Moon Dog Gator into the turnbuckle.
Damien Grundy charges into the corner.
Damien Grundy whips him with the Chain.
Damien Grundy takes him down with a thrust kick to the head.
Damien Grundy whips Moon Dog Gator into the turnbuckle.
Damien Grundy runs shoulder-first into the corner, but Moon Dog Gator
moves out of the way.
Moon Dog Gator goes for a headbutt, but Damien Grundy blocks it.
Damien Grundy places Moon Dog Gator on the turnbuckle.
Damien Grundy catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.]

VM: Despite Damien's Dominance in this match, He can't keep the Dog down
for a three count.

[Damien Grundy takes him down with a moonsault.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Damien Grundy howls like a wolf.
Damien Grundy goes for a chinlock deathlock submission, but Moon Dog Gator
blocks it.
Moon Dog Gator executes an elbowsmash.
Moon Dog Gator goes for the D-Dog-T, but Damien Grundy counters it with
a Hotshot.]

VM: Again, Damien counters Moon Dog's finisher.

[Moon Dog Gator executes a double chickenwing submission.
Damien Grundy reaches the ropes after being trapped for 18 seconds.]

JV: I'm shocked!  There was some scientific wrestling there!

[Moon Dog Gator chokes him with the Chain.
Moon Dog Gator goes for a chokehold, but Damien Grundy blocks it.
Damien Grundy executes a full nelson.
Moon Dog Gator manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Moon Dog Gator executes a bearhug.
Damien Grundy reaches the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a bodyslam.
Moon Dog Gator nails him with a kneeling headbutt.
Moon Dog Gator is going for the pin.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, kickout.
Moon Dog Gator scratches his head furiously as he barks.]

JV: I seriously think these two may have been separated at birth.

[Moon Dog Gator goes for a Big Leg Drop, but Damien Grundy counters it with
a roll away.
Damien Grundy executes a facebite.
Damien Grundy hits him with the Chain.]

JV: I also think these two should be chained to a tree at all times.

[Damien Grundy takes him down with a moonsault.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout.
Damien Grundy goes for a full nelson, but Moon Dog Gator counters it with
a backward kick.
Damien Grundy whips Moon Dog Gator into the turnbuckle.
Moon Dog Gator comes back, but is met with a kick to the midsection.
Damien Grundy goes for a clawhold, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it.
Moon Dog Gator whips Damien Grundy into the turnbuckle.
Moon Dog Gator charges in with an avalanche, but Damien Grundy lifts his
leg.]

JV: Hey!  No urinating in public!!!

VM: Your jokes really are bad.

[Damien Grundy goes for a jack-knife power bomb, but Moon Dog Gator
counters it with a backdrop.
Moon Dog Gator executes a thrust kick to the head.
Moon Dog Gator whips him with the Chain.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a chinlock deathlock submission.
Damien Grundy manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5
seconds.]

VM: Apparently the Unholy Alliance has started teaching Moon Dog some
submission moves.

[Damien Grundy howls like a wolf.
Damien Grundy nails him with a facebite.
Damien Grundy is going for the pin.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Damien Grundy whips him with the Chain.
Damien Grundy nails him with a jack-knife power bomb.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, in the ropes...]

VM: And again too close to the ropes.

[Damien Grundy hits him with the Chain.
Damien Grundy nails him with a camel clutch.
Moon Dog Gator reaches the ropes after being trapped for 11 seconds.
Moon Dog Gator whips Damien Grundy into the turnbuckle.
Moon Dog Gator charges in with an avalanche, but Damien Grundy lifts his
leg.]

JV: What did I say about that?!  I think I need to hit him on the nose
with a rolled up newspaper.

[Damien Grundy takes him down with a thrust kick to the head.
Damien Grundy executes a clawhold.
Moon Dog Gator reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Damien Grundy goes for an armlock leglock submission, but Moon Dog Gator
blocks it.
Moon Dog Gator goes for a sleeperhold, but Damien Grundy blocks it.
Damien Grundy goes for a thrust kick to the head, but Moon Dog Gator
counters it with a duck-down move.
Moon Dog Gator executes a powerslam.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: The huge powerslam only nets a 2 count?

JV: nets?  you've been reading that thesaurus again?
[Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a headbutt.
Moon Dog Gator executes the Doctor Bomb.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Moon Dog Gator whips Damien Grundy into the turnbuckle.
Damien Grundy comes back and rocks Moon Dog Gator with a kick to the midsection.
Damien Grundy goes for a double underhook piledriver, but Moon Dog Gator
counters it with a backdrop.
In turn, Damien Grundy counters it with a sunset flip.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.]

VM: Damien caught Moon Dog off guard with that counter to his counter
and almost got a pin.

[Damien Grundy goes for a short lariat, but Moon Dog Gator counters it with
a duck-down move.
Moon Dog Gator whips him with the Chain.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a bearhug.
Damien Grundy manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 24
seconds.]

JV: Wow Moon Doggie really had that Bearhug locked on tight for a long
time.

[Damien Grundy attempts to place Moon Dog Gator on the turnbuckle, but
Moon Dog Gator blocks it.
Damien Grundy places Moon Dog Gator on the turnbuckle.
Damien Grundy catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, thr... kickout.]

VM: Damien getting a little frustrated that he can't keep Moon Dog down.

[Damien Grundy hits him with the Chain.
Damien Grundy goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it.
Moon Dog Gator nails him with a facebite.
Moon Dog Gator nails him with a bodyslam.
Moon Dog Gator throws Damien Grundy out of the ring.
Moon Dog Gator goes through the ropes.
Moon Dog Gator goes for the D-Dog-T, but Damien Grundy counters it with
a backdrop.]

VM: This time Damien counters the D-Dog-T with a backdrop.

JV: You know, I bet if Damien were to hit his finisher, he'd be able to
pin Moon Dog.

[Damien Grundy chokes him with the Chain.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Damien Grundy throws Moon Dog Gator over the guardrail.
A UTenn Student dives out of the way.]

JV: There's that damn Hick College Student again.

VM: Yeah but he got rid of the TUA shirt he usually wears.  What does
this shirt say....."Get Well Soon Yllana"
JV: Awwww!  Isn't that sweet?  That kid's a friggin loser.  I bet he's
the type who get's into e-wrestling and thinks he's all mean and bad.

[Damien Grundy catches him in a power bomb.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, shoulder up.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.
Moon Dog Gator is busted wide open.
Damien Grundy chokes him with the Chain.
Damien Grundy is rips the shirt off of the UTenn student.]

JV: I'm Blind!!!

VM: Will you stop!

JV: Last thing I wanted to see was that college student's flabby
stomach.

[Damien Grundy shoves the shirt down Moon Dog Gator's throat.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.
Moon Dog Gator chokes him with the Chain.
Moon Dog Gator nails him with a vertical suplex.
They're brawling up the aisle.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Damien Grundy takes him down with a Frankensteiner.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, three.]

VM: And Damien finally gets a three count.

JV: Yeah But I think Moon Dog will get back up before the ten count.

[Sean Ceigersmidt counts: one, two, three, Moon Dog Gator gets back to
his feet.]

VM: And right you were Johnny.

[Damien Grundy knocks Moon Dog Gator into the ringsteps.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a short lariat.
Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Moon Dog Gator scratches his head furiously as he barks.]

JV: I really would've thought that Zodiac and War machine would've given
him a flea dip before letting him into their training room.

[Moon Dog Gator picks up the ringsteps.
Moon Dog Gator hits him with the ringsteps.
Moon Dog Gator whips Damien Grundy into the guardrail.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Moon Dog Gator throws Damien Grundy over the guardrail.]

VM: Moon Dog using every piece of metal to his advantage.

[Moon Dog Gator goes for a cobra clutch, but Damien Grundy counters it with
an armdrag takedown.
Damien Grundy hits him with the Chain.
They're brawling behind the guardrail.
Moon Dog Gator whips Damien Grundy into the guardrail.
They're brawling up the aisle.
Moon Dog Gator enters the ring.
Damien Grundy follows him in.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a double chickenwing submission.]

VM: And Moon Dog using some smarts there, by forcing Damien to drop his
guard to enter the ring, and he applies the Double Chickenwing.

JV: I'm still looking for that Single Chickenwing Submission hold.

[Damien Grundy submits after 10 seconds.]

VM: And Apparently Damien couldn't take any more.

[Sean Ceigersmidt counts: one, two, three, four,]

VM: Bones is yelling at Damien to get back up.

[five, six, seven,]

JV: Both wrestlers are just exhausted.  Moon Dog is sitting down over in
the corner.

[eight, nine, ten.]

VM: And that is it.  In a great battle, Moon Dog emerges victorious.

[Bones Douglas picks up the guitar case and climbs into the ring.  As
he walks over to Damien Grundy he kicks Moon Dog Gator's teeth in.]

VM: There was no need for that!

[Bones then picks up Grundy and stands him up.  He starts to yell at
Grundy and the surrounding mics pick up what he's saying.]

Bones: Finish him, goddamnit!

[Damien Grundy is exhausted and only replies with a whimper.  Bones
then slaps him across the face.]

Bones: Finish the Dog, you stupid piece of shit!

VM: Bones is getting rather abusive towards his wrestler.

[Damien Grundy's face takes on a twisted look and he shoots back.]

Grundy: Grundy's not stupid!

JV: I beg to differ.

Bones: Well, finish him then!
[Damien Grundy turns his attention to Moon Dog Gator who is still
laid out on the mat face down.  Grundy drops an elbow on the back
of Moon Dog's head.]

Bones: More!

VM: We need to get security down here!

[Damien Grundy climbs the top turnbuckle and nails Moon Dog with
a flying kneedrop to the middle of the back.  He then stands up and
looks at Bones.]

Bones: What are you stopping for?

[Damien Grundy climbs the top turnbuckle and hits Moon Dog in
the spine with a flying headbutt.  Grundy gets very dazed in the
process and stumbles back towards Bones.]

Bones: Did I say you were done?  No!

[Bones Douglas sets down the guitar case and opens it up.  He
removes a sledge hammer from inside and hands it to Damien Grundy.]

VM: Dear Lord NO!!!!

Bones: Now finish him and let's get the hell out of here!

[Damien Grundy lifts the sledge hammer above his head and lets
it crash down on Moon Dog's spine.  Grundy falls down as well.]

VM: My god!  Moon Dog was just hit in the back with a Sledge hammer!!
He could be paralyzed!!!

Bones: Again!

[Damien Grundy stands back up, lifts the sledge hammer, and again
comes crashing down with it again on Moon Dog's spine.]

VM: Where is security?!?!

Bones: Again!

VM: Johnny, I've never asked this of you before, but will you go down
and put an end to this madness?  Please?!

JV: Sorry, this is out of my hands.

[Once more Damien Grundy gets up, and drops the sledge hammer
on Moon Dog who is completely motionless at this point.]

Bones: Good now come over here.

[Bones Douglas motions for Damien Grundy to stand by his side.
Grundy comes over and leans on his manager while Bones pats him
on the back.]

Bones: Good job...now give me that.

[Damien Grundy hands the sledge hammer back to him and continues
to lean his exhausted and massive body upon Bones.  Bones Douglas
then steps aside and gives Damien Grundy a shove from behind
causing him to fall flat on his face.  He then lifts the sledge hammer
and slams it down on the back of Damien Grundy's head.  Blood starts
to gush immediately and soaks the canvas beneath and around
Grundy's head.]

VM: OH MY GOD!!!  I think he killed Damien!!!!!  Somebody call the
police!!

JV: We're in New York.  It'll take them 2 days just to get here.

[Bones Douglas then leans out over the ropes.]

Bones: Give me a mic!

[A ring attendant hands Bones a ringside microphone.]

Bones: Look at the stupid Grundy.

[Bones Douglas nudges the inert carcass with his foot.]

Bones: I wonder if he's dead?  Hell, who gives a shit?  I ain't
no fucking manager anyway...but like I said before, Moon Dog
would be eliminated, and it sure as hell looks like he's gone.
I guess I never mentioned that the Grundy would be joining
him.  But this isn't about me trying to be tough, because almost
anybody could've taken out these two sacks of shit.  It's about
a new beginning, well actually an old beginning...

[Bones Douglas smiles and props the sledge hammer up on
one shoulder.]

Bones: I could go on forever, but I'm going to be brief...unlike
certain cock-smokers who wasted half of a goddamn show
on Tuesday.  That's right, I'm talking about the star-struck
Compound.  Hey Z, do you really think anyone gave a shit
about what you had to say on Tuesday?

JV: Zodiac gave a speech on Tuesday?

Bones: No, they didn't... because nobody cares about the Compound
and all your little buddies.  Nobody cares about Pegasus, Phoenix, and
Retribution and whether or not you're in good graces with them.
Nobody even knows who the hell Aries is...and nobody cares.
Hell, if Taurus had come out, it would have been equivalent to
one of the original members of Menudo coming out...
because nobody remembers him and nobody gives a flying
fuck about him or the Compound.  Face it, you all just
wasted everybody's time.

[Bones Douglas looks at his wrist as if he were wearing a
watch.]

Bones: Oh damn, look at the time.  I've practically fallen
guilty of pulling one of your babbling sessions.  And so,
in conclusion...

[Bones suppresses laughter and then gets serious.]

Bones:  ...Compound, Underground, War Machine...
bring it on.  It's not a deathwish as Phoenix said; it's 
called self-reliance.  Bones Douglas doesn't need a
goddamn wrestler to train and he sure as hell doesn't
need TUA.  It's back to looking out for #1...And I
know I can take anything you guys can dish out and
then some.......

[Bones Douglas gets in close to one of the cameras
up on the ring apron.]

Bones: ...Bones is back...deal with it.

[Bones Douglas tosses the mic to the mat and leaves the
ring with the sledge hammer.  He then exits back up the aisle.
Paramedics immediately rush towards the ring.  The crowd is silent as
the paramedics attend to Moon Dog and Damien.

VM: This is indeed a sad day in the world of wrestling.  We have just
witnessed what is probably the most brutal attack ever televised.  I
hope charges are pressed against Bones for his actions.  He probably
paralyzed moon Dog and Damien could very well be dead!

JV: Unfortunately Vance, this is wrestling.  Wrestlers never press
charges against other wrestlers.

VM: There needs to be some disciplinary action taken.  The SWF can not
let this go unpunished.  I think it's safe to say that neither Damien or
Moon Dog will be wrestling soon, if indeed they can ever wrestle again.
I am just shocked by what I have just witnessed.  I am not sure that I
can continue on and commentate the final match.

JV: Look Vance, I agree with you that what we just witnessed is
exceedingly brutal and graphic, but that is part of our business.  Now
we only got one match left.

[Both Moon Dog and Damien have neck braces on them and have been
strapped to the backboards and are being carried sown the aisle.]

VM: Well we will try to update you to their condition as soon as we hear
anything.

[Roadies come down to the ring carrying containers of flammable liquid
and torches.]

HS: What I have just seen has managed to even shock me, a shock jock.
and to think the FCC wants me off the air.  anyways, our main event is a
"Trial By Fire" Death Match.  The ring area and the ropes will be on
fire.  Introducing first, from The Southwest, weighing in at 237 pounds,
here is Jesse Aires!!

["Where Ever I May Roam" By Metallica blares as Jesse Aires walks down
to the ring while the crowd cheers him on.]

HS: And his opponent, being led to the ring by Sean O'Brien, from
Amarillo, Texas, weighing in at 270 pounds, here is Desperado!!

["American Pie" by Don McLean plays as the two men make their way to the
ring as the crowd boos loudly.]

VM: The only good I can see coming out of this match is that maybe it'll
finally put an end to the rivalry going on between these two.

[Howard Stern leaves the ring.  The roadies usher Sean O'Brien out of
the ring area and back to the lockerrooms.]

VM: Sean O'Brien being sent back to the lockerrooms.

JV: Well he can't be at ringside if it's going to be burning.

[The roadies then light the ropes and then the surrounding ring area
with the torches which bursts into flames thanks to the flammable
liquid.]

VM: And the bell has rung.

JV: So if the bell has rung, why aren't they wrestling?

[Aires and Desperado just stare at each other.]

VM: Mark Matarese is trying to get them to start wrestling, but both men
refuse to.

JV: Well this sucks.

VM: I guess both men settled their differences when they disappeared a
couple weeks ago.

[Aires puts his trenchcoat over his head and goes through the ropes and
into the blazing ring area and finally over into the audience.
Desperado, goes through the burning ropes and runs through the fire
receiving minor burns.]

VM: It looks like both men are leaving.  Mark Matarese has called for
the bell.  It looks like he's going to call it a double countout.

JV: Is that possible in a no countout match?
VM: Well if the two men refuse to fight, what else can you do.

[Lethal runs towards Desperado with a steal chair, he smashes it on
Desperados' head.]

VM: Haven't we seen enough of this!?

[He picks Desperado up and throws him over the guardrail into the crowd,
he jumps over the rail himself and starts punching Desperado, after a while
he stops and executes a clawhold, Deadly comes down the aisle as well
carrying a mic.]

Deadly: You said you'll take us on, Despy... you said you'll beat us up.
What happened? NO ONE MESSES WITH LETHAL!

[Deadly hops over the guardrail and starts kicking Desperado who is still
trapped in the clawhold, Lethal releases the hold, picks up Desperado and
piledrivers him on the concrete floor, Deadly and Lethal then leave through
the crowd who is booing loudly]

VM: Well that too was unnecessary.  We are out of time.  Slaughterhouse
will be shown at a special time this week.  We will be Broadcasting from
The Grand Canyon in Friday Night.

JV: For those of you wanting to by tickets, it is Festival seating.

VM: For Johnny "The Muscle" Ventures, I'm Vance McMihn, saying so long.

[fade to black]