<"Tough It Out" By Webb Wilder plays.  Several shots of past SWF
Slaughterhouses are shown over a shot of the SWF Tough Man Title.  Screen
then fades to an aerial shot of the inside of The Mall of America, in
Bloomington, Minnesota.  The Screen then fades to Johnny "The Muscle"
Ventures and Vance McMihn sitting at a booth on the 2nd floor, just above
the ring.>

VM: Good Evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the SWF Toughman
Tournament.  We have got an explosive lineup for you tonight.  We'll be
seeing 12 of the toughest competitors battling it out for one thing, The
SWF Tough Man Title.

JV: The Tough Man title is probably the only belt that is coveted as
much if not more so than the world title.  The Tough Man belt shows that
you are a true warrior.

VM: We're going to take you know to Dean Oberman.  Take it away Dean.

<Screen cuts to a shot of Dean Oberman standing in a warehouse like
room where around him are coffins, tables, chains, large wooden
crucifixes, stretchers, etc.>

DO: Thank you Vance, I'm standing here in the Armory if you will for
tonight's show.  Since all matches are spin the wheel, we have every
possibly prop necessary just in case.  And as I'm sure you can tell by
some of the items around me, there will be some very interesting matches
either this week or next week.  Back to you Vance.

VM: Thank you Dean.  We're pleased to have with us as special Guest
Announcers, one of the prominent members of the Underground, UEA
Cruiserweight champ and GEWA Hardcore Champion, The Mobster, along with
his grandfather and manager Tony "The Tooth" Gianni.  Gentlemen,
Welcome.

M: Thanks.

TG: Thanks, here, try some of my brew.

<Johnny takes a sip of the beer.>

JV: This is good stuff!  What is it?

TG: Tony's Underground Beer.  The beer for real men.

JV: Try some of this McMihn, this is the best beer I've ever tasted.

VM: No thank you.  We're not allowed to drink on the job.

TG: Wimp.

M: Wuss.

JV: Pansy.

VM: I hope this isn't too long of an evening.  Now, it is my great
pleasure to introduce Booker Brian Frenck!

<"Cities On Flame With Rock & Roll" by Blue Oyster Cult blares through
the mall's PA system as Booker Frenck comes out from backstage and then
stands on a platform underneath a 8' high wheel.  The crowd applauds
loudly.>

BF: Thank you, Thank you.  Tonight 12 men begin their quest to hold the
title that says they are the toughest SOB in the SWF.  Tonight, we will
bring you 6 first round matches to help eliminate the boys from the men.
Now give it up for our special ring announcer, Evander Holyfield!!!
<crowd goes nuts.>

EH: Thank you all.  Now here are the competitors for the first first
round match.  Introducing first, from Jackson, Mississippi, weighing in
at 370 pounds, here is Moon Dog Gator!!

<"Bring The Noise" by Public Enemy and Anthrax blares over the
loudspeakers as Moon Dog Gator makes his way to the platform.  He gets a
mixed reaction from the crowd.>

EH: And his opponent, from Kingston, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 275
pounds, here is Virgo!!

<"Thunderstruck" by AC/DC blares as Virgo makes his way to the platform.
The crowd cheers him on.>

BF: All right guys, you know the deal, the match will be a no-DQ,
no-countout, and no time limit match.  I'm going to spin the wheel to
determine the gimmick.

<Booker Frenck spins the wheel.  A giant scoreboard above the wheel
displays the types of matches as they go by.  Ladder match,
Refrigerator match, Blindfold match and then finally stops on Falls
count anywhere, Chain Death match.>

BF: All right, the match is a Falls Count Anywhere Chain Death match.
Guys, please make your way towards the ring and get ready to rumble.

<The two men make their way to the ring.  Roadies bring out a 10 foot
long chain.>

VM: All right the two men are set, and the bell has rung.

[They lock up.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a headbutt.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with the Doctor Bomb.
Matt Compton counts: One, shoulder up.]

VM: Moon Dog starting off strong but Virgo gets a shoulder up quickly.

JV: What kinda name is Virgo?

TG: Virgo the Virgin?

M: Maybe there's a volcano around here we can throw him into.

JV, TG & M: Hahahahahahah!!!

[Moon Dog Gator whips him with the Chain.
Moon Dog Gator places Virgo on the turnbuckle.
Moon Dog Gator nails him with a superplex.
Moon Dog Gator chokes him with the Chain.]

VM: And Moon Dog is just all over Virgo.  Showing no signs of distress
over his manager quitting the SWF.  Either of you men know anything
about Mr. America's situation?

[Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a swinging punch.]

TG: What you think that just because we're Underground we know every
little move that another member makes?

M: He's in a different league than I am so I don't know.

[Moon Dog Gator is going for the pin.
Matt Compton counts: One, shoulder up.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a vertical suplex.
Moon Dog Gator hits him with the Chain.]

VM: Again only a one count.

[Moon Dog Gator goes for a powerslam, but Virgo counters it with a
lariat.]

VM: And finally some offense for Virgo.

JV: It won't last.

M: No way.

TG: The guy's a total loser.

[Moon Dog Gator nails him with a thrust kick to the head.
A fan throws some brass knuckles into the ring.
Moon Dog Gator picks up the brass knuckles.]

JV: all right, now this match is going to go really hardcore.

M: I find that the spiked brass knuckles like the ones that I use are
much more effective.

TG: You gotta make sure you sharpen those spikes a lot though.

[Moon Dog Gator takes a swing at Virgo with the knuckles, but
he gets out of the way.
Virgo snatches the knuckles from him.
Virgo hits him with the knuckles.]

JV: Don't think that went as planned.

[Virgo executes an enzuigiri.
Virgo is going for the pin.
Matt Compton counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: Moon Dog able to kick out before the three there.

TG: He went for the pin way to early.

M: Yeah what was that, like his 3rd move of the match?

JV:  I think Moon Dog was just stunned that Virgo actually connected
with an offensive maneuver.

[Virgo goes for the STF, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it.
Moon Dog Gator executes a vertical suplex.
Moon Dog Gator nails him with a powerslam.
Matt Compton counts: One, two, shoulder up.]

VM: And now Virgo fights his way out of the pin.

JV: His offensive streak didn't last too long did it?

M: Nope.

TG: A bottle of alcohol lasted longer during the prohibition.

[Virgo goes for a DDT, but Moon Dog Gator counters it with a backdrop.]

M: Nice try Virgin.

[Moon Dog Gator nails him with a headbutt.
Moon Dog Gator goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Virgo counters it with a
backdrop.]

JV: I can't believe it!

TG: I must be going senile.  It actually looked like Virgo hit another
move.

M: He did grandpa.  I can't believe it either.

VM: Will you guys stop?  You've been insulting Virgo since he stepped
into the ring.

TG: Of course we have, we're heels!

[Virgo takes a swing at Moon Dog Gator with the knuckles, but
he gets out of the way.
Moon Dog Gator snatches the knuckles from him.
Moon Dog Gator hits him with the knuckles.]
VM: Why is he even bothering with the knux?  Why doesn't he just wrap
the chain around his fist?

JV: Don't you know anything McMihn?

M: Brass Knuckles are designed to go around your fist, a chain is not.

TG: That way you won't injure your own hand with the knux.  But you
could if you use the chain.

[Moon Dog Gator climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Virgo yanks on the
chain.
Moon Dog Gator falls onto the mat.]

TG: The Dog got yanked by the chain.

[Virgo goes for a bow-and-arrow submission, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it.
Moon Dog Gator attempts to place Virgo on the turnbuckle, but Virgo blocks it.
Moon Dog Gator places Virgo on the turnbuckle.]

TG: That's what I like to see, someone who is still willing to give a
move another try even after it failed.

[Moon Dog Gator executes a superplex.
Moon Dog Gator goes for a double chickenwing submission, but Virgo blocks it.
Virgo goes for a backbreaker, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it.
Moon Dog Gator goes for a clawhold, but Virgo blocks it.]

VM: And a series of blocks after that superplex.

[Virgo chokes him with the Chain.
Virgo takes him down with a springboard lariat.
Virgo whips him with the Chain.
Virgo nails him with a hiptoss.
Virgo chokes him with the Chain.
Virgo executes a chop.
Virgo chokes him with the Chain.
Virgo nails him with a standing wristlock.]

JV: What the....?

TG: Huh?

M: No way!

VM: Yes way, Virgo is just all over Moon Dog Gator.

JV: Moon Dog seems to be a bit lost with out the guidance of Mr. America.

[Moon Dog Gator manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Moon Dog Gator hits him with the knuckles.
Moon Dog Gator goes for a bodyslam, but Virgo counters it with a small package.
Matt Compton counts: One, kickout.]

M: Virgin unable to get the pin

VM: Will you stop calling him that?

M: Make me.

VM: .......

M: That's what I thought.

[Virgo whips him with the Chain.
Virgo catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Matt Compton counts: One, two, kickout.]

TG: BTW, where did Frenck find this red head four eyed geek ref anyways?

JV: I think they're old high school buddies.

VM: That is just a coincidence.  I 'm sure Mr. Frenck hired him because
he was qualified.

M: Yeah, right.

[Virgo goes for a DDT, but Moon Dog Gator counters it with a backdrop.
Moon Dog Gator executes a snap mare.
Moon Dog Gator nails him with a sleeperhold.
Virgo manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 10 seconds.
Virgo catches him in a dragon suplex.
Matt Compton counts: One, two, kickout.]

JV: Damn Virgo pulled that out of nowhere.

[Virgo goes for a hiptoss, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a thrust kick to the head.
Moon Dog Gator executes the STF.
Virgo manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds.]

JV: Moon Doggie is getting wiled up now.

M: Didn't there use to be a tag team in the WWF years ago called the Moon
Dogs?

TG: Yeah you're right.  There was Moon Dog Rex and I can't remember the
other guy.

[Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a facebite.
Moon Dog Gator executes a thrust kick to the head.
Moon Dog Gator hits him with the knuckles.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a snap mare.
Moon Dog Gator hits him with the knuckles.
Moon Dog Gator nails him with a swinging punch.]

JV: Moon Dog is doing a whole bunch of biting and scratching but no
wrestling moves.
TG: That could be his downfall.  True wrestling moves are important.
Especially submission moves.

[Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a bodyslam.
Moon Dog Gator goes for a roundhouse right, but Virgo blocks it.
Virgo executes a Russian legsweep.
Virgo executes a springboard lariat.
Virgo goes for a bodyslam, but Moon Dog Gator counters it with a small package.
Matt Compton counts: One, two, shoulder up.]

JV: You're kinda quiet over there McMihn.

VM: I can't get a word in edgewise with you guys yapping all the time.

JV: Are we yapping all the time?

M: I certainly don't think so.  What about you grandpa?

TG: Oh definitely not, I don't know why he thinks we yap all the time.

VM: Argh!!

[Moon Dog Gator hits him with the knuckles.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with the Doctor Bomb.
Matt Compton counts: One, two, shoulder up.]

JV: Should've been all over there.

TG: Yeah, Matt Incompetent counted rather slowly.

M: Virgin got lucky.

[Moon Dog Gator takes a swing at Virgo with the knuckles, but
he gets out of the way.
Virgo snatches the knuckles from him.
Virgo takes a swing at Moon Dog Gator with the knuckles, but
he gets out of the way.
Moon Dog Gator snatches the knuckles from him.]

M: Any day now guys.

[Moon Dog Gator hits him with the knuckles.]

JV: 'Bout time.

[Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a bearhug.]

TG: Excellent form with that Bearhug.

M: But I do it much better.

VM: I think Dimarini does it much better than you.

[The Mobster glares at McMihn
Virgo manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 17 seconds.
Virgo hits him with the Chain.
Virgo goes for a standing wristlock, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it.]

VM: Why, didn't he just re-injure your ribs with a several bearhugs?

JV: You might want to back off McMihn.

[Moon Dog Gator executes a vertical suplex.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a swinging punch.
Virgo takes him down with an armbar submission.
Moon Dog Gator manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5
seconds.]

VM: You'd think a submission based wrestler can get out of any
submission hold quickly, but apparently you can't.

[Mobster lunges at McMihn.  McMihn moves out of the way.  He takes off
his headsets and goes running off.  Mobster runs after him.]

JV: Well I'm glad we got rid of McMihn, but it would've been nice if
Mobster had stayed around.

[Virgo chokes him with the Chain.
Virgo nails him with a backbreaker.
Virgo hits him with the Chain.
Virgo goes for the STF, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it.
Virgo goes for a punch, but Moon Dog Gator reverses it.]

JV: Of course, as soon as Virgin get's something going, he blows it.

TG: Typical face.

[Moon Dog Gator nails him with a bodyslam.
Moon Dog Gator takes him down with a thrust kick to the head.
Moon Dog Gator is going for the pin.
Matt Compton counts: One, two, three.]

JV: Wow!  Moon Doggie just leveled Virgin with that thrust kick.

TG: Excellently executed.  That gives him the easy three count.

[Matt Compton counts: one, two, three, Virgo gets back to his feet.]

TG: Stay down you idiot!

[Mickey Dee enters the ring and hits Moon Dog Gator with the walking
cane.]

TG: What the hell was that?

JV: It looks like the guy named after a fast food restaurant decided
that the only way his guy is gonna win is if he helps.

[Virgo goes for a bridging back suplex, but Moon Dog Gator blocks it.
Moon Dog Gator gives the sign for the D-Dog-T.
Moon Dog Gator executes the D-Dog-T and goes for the pin.]

TG: Didn't do any good did it?

[Matt Compton counts: One, two, three.]

JV: Another pin for Moon Doggie and now let's see if Virgin is smart
enough to stay down.

[Matt Compton counts: one, two, three, four,]

TG: I think he learned his lesson.

[five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.]

JV: And he did it.  Moon Doggie advances to the next round.

TG: I think that's the first time I've ever seen a falls count anywhere
match not go outside the ring.

EH: The winner is Moon Dog Gator, in a time of 10:12.

[Moon Dog, Virgo & Mickey Dee head back to the locker rooms.  Mobster
makes his way back to the broadcast booth.]

JV: So what did you do with McMihn?

M: Nothing.  The little punk got away from me.

[McMihn shows up with 6 security guards.]

VM: Those are the two!  Remove them from the premises!

M: I guess we're not wanted anymore grandpa.

TG: Who cares.  We were leaving anyways.  We gotta catch a flight down
to Texas for the GEWA PPV tomorrow.

JV: Seeya guys.

[Tony and The Mobster leave.  Vance sits back down at the broadcast
booth and puts on his headsets.]

JV: What did you do that for?

VM: I shouldn't be fearing for my life while broadcasting a match.
Besides, with you three, I couldn't say a damn thing.

JV: Cry baby.

VM: Well let's go to our next match.

EH: The first wrestler for the next match, being led to the ring by Kim
Kelley, from Denver, Colorado, weighing in at 287 pounds, here is former
SWF World Champion, Jagged Edge!!

["Me Killa" By Bone Thugs 'n Harmony blares as Kim Kelley and Jagged
Edge walk to the platform as the crowd boos heavily.]

EH: His opponent, being led to the ring by Carey Stone, from Toronto,
Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 243 pounds, here is "Paralyzer" Patrick
Bordeau!!

["Poison" by The Prodigy blares as Carey Stone and Bordeau make their
way to the platform as the crowd boos.]

VM: The crowd not liking either man.

JV; Yeah but Jagged Edge got a lot more boos than Bordeau.  Apparently
the few fans that JE had disappeared along with his title.

BF: All right, let's spin the wheel!!

<Booker Frenck spins the wheel.  A giant scoreboard above the wheel
displays the types of matches as they go by.  Mall Brawl,
Crucifix match, Large Trout match and then finally stops on Stretcher
Match.  Bordeau get's an evil look on his face.>

BF: All right, it's a stretcher match.  Guys, and ladies, please make
your way to the ring area.

<the group of 4 head towards the ring as paramedics come down to
ringside with a stretcher.>

VM: What an incredible stroke of luck for Bordeau.

JV: Yeah he was in a stretcher match just last week, which he won and
forced Billy Talent into retirement, and now he gets another one.

VM: Bordeau really has the advantage since he's got experience in these
types of matches.

[They lock up.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a gutwrench suplex.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a bodyslam, but Jagged Edge counters it with
a small package.
Jagged Edge attempts to place Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the turnbuckle, but
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.
Jagged Edge throws Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau out of the ring.]

VM: Jagged Edge losing his cool right off the back and decides to takes
it outside.

[Jagged Edge goes through the ropes.
Jagged Edge sets up a table.]

VM: Jagged Edge looking to get things hardcore real quickly.

[Jagged Edge whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the guardrail.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Jagged Edge knocks Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the ringsteps.
Jagged Edge takes Evander Holyfield's microphone.]

JV: IS that idiot crazy?  Evander is pissed!  You don't mess with the
boxing champ of the world!.

[Jagged Edge hits him with the microphone.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau is busted wide open.]

VM: And Bordeau is the first to bleed.

[They're brawling inside the ring area.
Jagged Edge nails him with a backspin DDT.
Jagged Edge catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.]

VM: Jagged Edge is just dominating on the outside.

JV: I'm kinda surprised about that myself.

[Jagged Edge sets up Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the table.
Jagged Edge tries to drive Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau through the table with
a brain buster, but he blocks it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the guardrail.]

JV: Did you see that?  Bordeau whipped Edge into the guardrail from up
on the table!

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a bodyslam.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau throws Jagged Edge back into the ring.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau brings the table into the ring.]

VM: And apparently Bordeau has plans for that table.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the ropes.
Jagged Edge goes for a roundhouse right, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau
blocks it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau throws Jagged Edge out of the ring.]

VM: And Bordeau decides to take it back outside.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes through the ropes.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau sets up a table.]

VM: Perhaps Bordeau regrets bringing the table into the ring now.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau sets up Jagged Edge on the table.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau tries to drive Jagged Edge through the table with
a brain buster, but he blocks it.]

VM: So far neither man able to drive the other through the table.

JV: It's way too early.  They need to soften each other up first.

[They're brawling inside the ring area.
Jagged Edge goes for a punch, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reverses it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the guardrail.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau grabs the ring bell.]

JV: I guarantee you that a ring bell hurts a hell lot more than a
microphone.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits him with the ring bell.
Jagged Edge is busted wide open.]

VM: And now both men are bleeding all over the place.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a hiptoss, but Jagged Edge counters it with
a backslide.
Jagged Edge sets up Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the table.
Jagged Edge executes a power bomb through the table.
The table is broken in half.]

VM: And finally someone goes through a table.

JV: I'm surprised Jagged Edge did it first.  Especially after getting
clocked by that ring bell.

[Jagged Edge catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Carey Stone comes from behind and distracts Jagged Edge.]

JV: I think Jagged Edge was asking Carey Stone about doing some wife
swapping.

VM: Will you stop!

[They're brawling inside the ring area.
Kim Kelly comes from behind, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails Kim
Kelly.]

JV: Bordeau apparently didn't like Kim hitting on him.  Of course with
his attractive wife, Carey, who can blame him.

VM: Both wrestlers have gorgeous wives/managers.

[Jagged Edge executes a roundhouse right.
Carey Stone comes from behind and distracts Jagged Edge.]

JV: Well seeing how easily Edge gets distracted by Carey, I'd have to
say she is definitely the more beautiful of the two.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the guardrail.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a Frankensteiner.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reenters the ring.
Jagged Edge follows him back in.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau leaves the ring.]

VM: What?  What's he doing?

JV: He's talking to Carey.

[Carey Stone pulls the Brick out of her purse.
Carey Stone hands him the Brick.
Jagged Edge is bleeding profusely.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reenters the ring.]

JV: Unfortunately, the time it took for Bordeau to get the brick gave
Edge a chance to rest up.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits him with the Brick.]

JV: Not that it helped at all.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau is bleeding like a faucet.]

VM: And both men are losing blood rapidly from their wounds.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the ropes, but Jagged Edge
reverses it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a legsweep.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a grapevine.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau lets go after 12 seconds.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with an abdominal stretch.]

VM: And Bordeau cuts one submission hold short and goes right to another.

[Jagged Edge manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 12
seconds.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a bodyslam.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a dropkick.]

JV: It's nice to see wrestlers use the old standard wrestling moves
every now and then.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a tilt-a-whirl piledriver, but Jagged Edge
blocks it.
Jagged Edge takes him down with a spinning power bomb.
Jagged Edge takes him down with a piledriver.
Jagged Edge tries to put Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the Stretcher.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.]

VM: Bordeau preventing himself form being laid down on that stretcher.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a standing moonsault.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau tries to put Jagged Edge on the Stretcher.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau puts Jagged Edge on the Stretcher.]

VM: And Jagged Edge is on the stretcher!

[The paramedics start to carry Jagged Edge down the aisle towards the
emergency exit.
Jagged Edge gets off the Stretcher.
Jagged Edge reenters the ring.]

VM: And Jagged Edge gets off and gets back into the ring.

JV: Unfortunately with the layout of this mall, the paramedics have to
carry the stretcher a lot further than they normally would.

[Jagged Edge goes for a punch, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes a swing at Jagged Edge with the Brick, but
he gets out of the way.
Jagged Edge snatches the Brick from him.
Jagged Edge takes a swing at Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau with the Brick, but
he gets out of the way.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau snatches the Brick from him.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes a swing at Jagged Edge with the Brick, but
he gets out of the way.
Jagged Edge snatches the Brick from him.
Jagged Edge hits him with the Brick.]

VM: And finally someone hits another with the brick.

JV: That almost looked like something out of a three stooges movie.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a Frankensteiner.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a sleeperhold.
Jagged Edge manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5
seconds.]

VM: Bordeau applied that sleeper to close to the ropes.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a dropkick, but Jagged Edge counters it with
a side step.
Jagged Edge whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the turnbuckle, but
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reverses it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau runs shoulder-first into the corner.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.]

VM: Excellent belly-to-belly suplex there by Bordeau.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the ropes.
Jagged Edge catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Jagged Edge throws Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau out of the ring.
Jagged Edge goes through the ropes.]

VM: And Jagged Edge comes back with a belly-to-belly suplex of his own
then takes it outside.

[Jagged Edge runs down to the Ace Hardware store in the mall and buys a
shovel.
Jagged Edge runs back to the ring.
Jagged Edge hits him with the shovel.]

VM: That's one of the most unusual ways I've ever seen a wrestler get a
foreign object.

JV: Yeah.  Luckily though Ace hardware is having a Memorial Day Weekend
Sale so Jagged Edge saved 15% on that shovel.

VM: I'm surprised that he even had his wallet on him.

[Jagged Edge sets up a table.
Jagged Edge sets up Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the table.
Jagged Edge executes a DDT through the table.
The table is broken in half.]

VM: And for the 2nd time, Jagged Edge drives Boreau through a table.

JV: I think Bordeau is hurt.

[Jagged Edge whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the guardrail.
Carey Stone comes from behind, but Jagged Edge nails Carey Stone.]

JV: And apparently Jagged Edge got tired of being rejected by Carey so
he popped her one.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with an abdominal stretch.
Kim Kelly comes from behind, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails Kim
Kelly.]

JV: And Bordeau responds by slapping around Edge's woman.

VM: I think hitting a woman is really uncalled for should not be
allowed.  I hope Jagged Edge and Bordeau get fined for their actions.

JV: You sucking up to the feminazis or something?

[Jagged Edge goes for a power bomb, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reenters the ring.
Jagged Edge follows him back in.]

VM: And back in they go.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a tiger driver, but Jagged Edge blocks it.
Jagged Edge goes for a spinning power bomb, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau
counters it with spinning headscissors.
Jagged Edge whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the ropes, but
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reverses it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits Jagged Edge with an elbow.]

VM: Bordeau rocks Jagged Edge with that elbow and now is setting up for
an irish whip.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the ropes.
Jagged Edge hits Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau with a kick.
Jagged Edge places Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the turnbuckle.]

VM: Jagged Edge going for something big!

[Jagged Edge executes a top-rope DDT.]

VM: HUGE top-rope DDT!

JV: Fried Bacon.

[Jagged Edge tries to put Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the Stretcher.
Jagged Edge puts Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the Stretcher.
The paramedics start to carry Bordeau down the aisle towards the
emergency exits.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau gets off the Stretcher.]

VM: And Bordeau gets off and heads back to the ring.

JV: That was kinda close.  The paramedics were less then 50 feet from
the exit.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reenters the ring.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a single-leg takedown.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a gutwrench suplex.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the ropes.
Carey Stone pulls down the top rope.]

VM: And now Carey's trying to help out her husband.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes through the ropes.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau sets up a table.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau.
Jagged Edge goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau
counters it with an enzuilariato.]

VM: Jagged Edge tries to take advantage of the distracted Bordeau but
Bordeau was way ahead of him.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a swinging neckbreaker.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau sets up Jagged Edge on the table.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau tries to drive Jagged Edge through the table with
a tiger driver, but he blocks it.]

VM: Jagged Edge fends off that tiger driver through the table.

[Jagged Edge goes for a German suplex, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau
counters it with an elbowsmash.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau sets up Jagged Edge on the table.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau tries to drive Jagged Edge through the table with
a brain buster, but he blocks it.]

JV: Bordeau seems to be having trouble using the table to his advantage.
[Jagged Edge takes him down with a roundhouse right.
Jagged Edge knocks Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the ringsteps.
Jagged Edge nails him with a powerslam.]

VM: And that roundhouse right knocked Bordeau right off the table and
onto the linoleum floor.

[Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau.
They're brawling inside the ring area.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a Frankensteiner, but Jagged Edge
counters it with a power bomb.]

VM: Jagged Edge saw that Frankensteiner coming and smartly countered it
with a powerbomb.

[Kim Kelley pulls brass knuckles out of her purse.]

JV: It really is amazing what women carry in their purses.

[Jagged Edge is handed brass knuckles.
Jagged Edge hits him with the knuckles.
Jagged Edge hits him with the knuckles.]

VM: A couple of punches with the Brass Knuckles has Bordeau staggering.

[Jagged Edge goes for a piledriver, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau throws Jagged Edge back into the ring.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a Frankensteiner.]

JV: Whoa!!  Where did that come from?

VM: A desperation move has Jagged Edge hurt bad.

[Jagged Edge is bleeding like hell.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau gives the sign for the Ice Pick.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes the Ice Pick.]

VM: And Bordeau just nailed Jagged Edge wit that hotshot/spinebuster.

JV: But what's doing?  He's going for more moves.  He should be putting
Edge on the stretcher.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a kick to the midsection.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a single-leg takedown.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a tiger suplex.
Jagged Edge takes him down with a roundhouse right.]

VM: And Bordeau goes down hard after that roundhouse right.

[Jagged Edge gives the sign for the Shattered Dreams.
Jagged Edge executes the Shattered Dreams.]

VM: He has him in the sleeper!!!!

JV: Yeah but this is a stretcher match, so even if Bordeau does go
under, there's a good chance he'll regain consciousness while being
carried out.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reaches the ropes after being trapped for 13 seconds.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a sleeperhold, but Jagged Edge
counters it with a jawbreaker.]

VM: Bordeau trying to comeback with a sleeper of his own.

[Carey Stone tries to interfere, but Kim Kelly prevents her from doing
so.]

JV: CAT FIGHT!!!

[Kim Kelly grabs her by the hair.
Jagged Edge nails him with a double underhook piledriver.
Kim Kelly scratches her face.
Jagged Edge attempts to place Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the turnbuckle, but
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.
Carey Stone bites her hand.]

VM: And now there's action happening both inside and outside the ring,
and the crowd is going nuts!

[Jagged Edge nails him with a jack-knife power bomb.
Kim Kelly slaps her.
Jagged Edge takes him down with a piledriver.
Carey Stone picks up the Brick.]

VM: Oh No!! Look out!

[Carey Stone hits her with the Brick.
Kim Kelly is out cold.]

JV: These women are vicious!!

[Carey Stone puts the brick in her purse.
Jagged Edge executes a double underhook piledriver.
Carey Stone enters the ring and hits Jagged Edge with the purse.
Jagged Edge is out cold.]

VM: And now Carey used that loaded purse to knock Jagged Edge out cold.

JV: But Bordeau isn't ready for it to end just yet.  He want's to hurt
Jagged Edge even more.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a punch.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau is bleeding profusely.]

VM: I think Bordeau should put Edge on the stretcher.  Bordeau is
definitely hurt.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a bodyslam.]
VM: Jagged Edge is coming to and staggers to his feet.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a Frankensteiner.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau runs into the ropes.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits Jagged Edge with an elbow.]

VM: Kim Kelly has regained consciousness and is picking up the brass
knuckles that Jagged Edge was using earlier.

[Kim Kelly enters the ring and hits Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau with the
brass knuckles.]

VM: AND SHE PUNCHED HIM RIGHT IN THE KISSER!!!!

JV: But Bordeau is still on his feet.  Unfortunately, Kim is not very
strong so that punch didn't hurt Bordeau too badly.

[Jagged Edge goes for a belly-to-back suplex, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau
blocks it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a bodyslam, but Jagged Edge counters it with
a small package.
Jagged Edge takes him down with a piledriver.]

VM: Nice piledriver by the Jagged One.  And now he's going for something
big.

JV: Jagged One?

[Jagged Edge attempts to place Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the turnbuckle, but
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.
Jagged Edge executes a backspin DDT.]

VM: Look out!  Here comes Carey again to help her man!

[Carey Stone enters the ring to hit Jagged Edge with the purse.
Kim Kelly warns Jagged Edge.
Before Carey Stone connects, Jagged Edge moves out of the way.
Carey Stone hits Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau.]

VM: She just hit her own husband!!!!

JV: I smell divorce!

VM: And it looks like Jagged Edge is going to nail Carey with a Gorilla
Press!!!!!

[Jagged Edge throws Carey Stone over the top rope.]

VM: OH MY!!! Carey hit that linoleum floor hard!!

[Jagged Edge nails him with a backspin DDT.
Jagged Edge goes for a power bomb, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks
it.]

VM: And now Bordeau sees his wife writhing in pain on the outside.

JV: And he is furious!!

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a hiptoss.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a dropkick.
Jagged Edge whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the ropes, but
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reverses it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a hiptoss.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a tiger driver.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a legdrop.]

VM: And here comes Kim again!

JV: And she's still got those brass knuckles.

[Kim Kelly enters the ring and hits Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau with the
brass knuckles.]

VM: And again right in the mouth!

[Jagged Edge attempts to place Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the turnbuckle, but
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.
Jagged Edge nails him with a Gorilla Press.]

VM: And here comes Carey again!

[Carey Stone enters the ring and hits Jagged Edge with the purse.
Jagged Edge is out cold.]

JV: I think Booker Frenck ought to really consider signing a Jagged Edge
and Kim Kelly vs. Bordeau and Carey Stone.

VM: They would never agree to that.

JV: I think they would.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau throws Jagged Edge out of the ring.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes through the ropes.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a hiptoss, but Jagged Edge blocks it.
Jagged Edge is handed the brass knuckles.]

VM: Kim hands the knuckles to Jagged Edge, hoping that'll he'll have
more luck using them.

[Jagged Edge takes a swing at Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau with the brass
knuckles, but he gets out of the way.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau snatches the brass knuckles from him.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits him with the brass knuckles.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits him with the brass knuckles.]

JV: And he didn't.  Bordeau snagged them and hit Edge with them a couple
times.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau throws Jagged Edge back into the ring.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau gives the sign for the Ice Pick.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes the Ice Pick.]

VM: And there's that hotshot/spinebuster slam again.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a dropkick.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the turnbuckle.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a swinging neckbreaker.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a sleeperhold.
Jagged Edge manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 7
seconds.]

VM: Bordeau hoping to put Jagged Edge away with that sleeper.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a side suplex, but Jagged Edge blocks it.
Jagged Edge executes the Shattered Dreams.]

VM: And now Jagged Edge comes back with that sleeper finisher of his.

JV: Have you noticed that Jagged Edge always does his finisher shortly
after Bordeau does his finisher?

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reaches the ropes after being trapped for 10 seconds.
Jagged Edge takes him down with a DDT.
Jagged Edge flexes to the crowd.]

VM: Jagged Edge getting a little cocky there.

[Jagged Edge catches him in a Northern Lights suplex.
Jagged Edge takes him down with a bearhug.
Jagged Edge lets go after 19 seconds.]

JV: Edge realized how pointless that move was in a stretcher match and
decided to let go.

[Jagged Edge catches him in a power bomb.
Jagged Edge nails him with a Tombstone.
Jagged Edge attempts to place Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the turnbuckle, but
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.
Jagged Edge places Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the turnbuckle.
Jagged Edge nails him with a belly-to-back superplex.]

VM: Jagged Edge is just all over Bordeau!

[Jagged Edge takes him down with a double underhook piledriver.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the ropes, but Jagged Edge
reverses it.
Jagged Edge executes a punch.
Jagged Edge nails him with a belly-to-back suplex.]

VM: And it looks like Edge is finally going to put Bordeau on the
stretcher.

[Jagged Edge tries to put Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the Stretcher.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a tiger driver.]

JV: Not only did he block it, but he immediately hit Edge with that tiger
driver.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau tries to put Jagged Edge on the Stretcher.
Jagged Edge blocks it.]

VM: And Edge blocks getting put on the stretcher.

[Jagged Edge executes a DDT.
Jagged Edge takes him down with a spinning power bomb.
Jagged Edge executes a spinning power bomb.]

VM: A pair of spinning power bombs there by Jagged Edge and Bordeau is
grabbing his back.  I think he might've hurt something.

[Jagged Edge nails him with a belly-to-back suplex.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a dropkick.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the ropes, but Jagged Edge
reverses it.
Jagged Edge hits Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau with a clothesline.
Jagged Edge leaves the ring.]

VM: Jagged Edge didn't even feel that dropkick.

JV: And now Kim is handing the brass knuckles to Edge.

[He returns with the brass knuckles.
Jagged Edge tries to put Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the Stretcher.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.
Both Carey Stone and Kim Kelly enter the ring.
Scott Thomas tries to send them back out.]

VM: And now both women are fighting in the ring!!

JV: I'm telling ya, we need to sign that tag team match.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Jagged Edge into the ropes.
Both women are grabbing each others hair.
Jagged Edge goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau
counters it with an enzuilariato.
Both women roll out of the ring while still grabbing each others hair.
Scott Thomas is back on the job.]

VM: and Scott is able to turn his attention back to the match now that
both women are out of the ring.

[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits him with the Ice Pick.]

VM: And while Jagged Edge turned around to see what was happening with Carey
and Kim, Bordeau nailed him with that Ice Pick of his.
[Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau tries to put Jagged Edge on the Stretcher.
Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau puts Jagged Edge on the Stretcher.
The Paramedics carry Jagged Edge out the emergency exit.]

VM: And Jagged Edge is out of here.   And here come the security guards
to try to separate Kim & Carey.

JV: I don't think they even realize the match is over.

EH: The winner is Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau, in a time of 18:56.

VM: And the security guards along with the help of Bordeau have
separated the two women and are being escorted back to the locker room
area.  So next week, one of the semi final matches will be Moon Dog
Gator vs. Patrick Bordeau.  Let's go back to Evander for the
introductions for the next match.

EH: The first combatant, from London, England, weighing in at 275
pounds, here is Dr. Hate!!

["How Do I Know" by Leather Strip blares as Dr. Hate makes his way to
the ring as the crowd boos heavily.]

EH:  His opponent, from America, boy that narrows it down.  Weighing in
at 320 pounds, here is Sandman!!

["Enter Sandman" by Metallica blares and the crowd boos as Sandman makes
his way to the platform.]

BF: All right guys, you know the drill, so let's spin the big wheel.

<Booker Frenck spins the wheel.  A giant scoreboard above the wheel
displays the types of matches as they go by.  Table Death match,
Refrigerator match, Barbed wire 4 corners match and then finally stops
on 3 Pin Death match.>

BF: All right, you guys got a 3 pin Death match.  The match keeps on
going until one of you pin each three consecutive times.  So let's go to
the ring!

<The two men make their way to the ring.>

JV: This is going to be a great match.  Apparently there is some bad
blood between these two.

VM: Really?

JV: Remember last week how after the Sandman/Jagged Edge match The
Underground came out and attacked Edge with Sandman?

VM: Yeah....

JV: Well you might have noticed that Dr. Hate wasn't there.  And after
he found out about the attack he was furious.  He was afraid that the
Underground let him into their organization.  And the good Dr. doesn't
want that at all.

VM: How did you find this out?

JV: I got my sources.

VM: Well the bell has rung and we are on our way.

[They lock up.
Dr. Hate executes a rolling kick.
Dr. Hate goes for a back heel kick, but Sandman blocks it.
Sandman goes for a jack-knife power bomb, but Dr. Hate counters it with
a backdrop.
In turn, Sandman counters it with a sunset flip.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: Only a two count there.

JV: It's nice to see the Reverend Mark Matarese back officiating again.
I missed him last week.

VM: Really?

JV: Hell of a nice guy.  Plus he's the most impartial ref I've ever met.

[Sandman takes him down with a powerslam.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: Again a two count.

JV: Sandman wants to get the first pin.

[Sandman whips Dr. Hate into the turnbuckle, but Dr. Hate reverses it.
Dr. Hate charges into the corner, but Sandman lifts his leg.
Sandman executes a double underhook piledriver.
Sandman throws Dr. Hate out of the ring.
Dr. Hate reenters the ring.
Sandman whips Dr. Hate into the ropes.
Sandman nails him with a clothesline.]

VM: Sandman is just really taking it to the Dr.

JV: I wonder if his admittance to the Underground is pending on the
outcome of this match.

[Sandman takes him down with a facerake.
Sandman goes for a double underhook backbreaker, but Dr. Hate blocks it.
Dr. Hate nails him with a back heel kick.
Dr. Hate nails him with a chop.]

VM: And finally some more offense from Dr. Hate.

[Dr. Hate executes the Assisted Suicide and goes for the pin.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, three.]

VM: That came out of nowhere!

JV: That just goes to show how deadly that Assisted Suicide is.

VM: Both men being sent to opposite corners now.

EH: The winner of the first fall is Dr. Hate, in a time of 2:15.  That
is the first fall of the consecutive three for Dr. Hate.

VM: The bell has rung and both men are coming towards each other.

[They lock up.
Dr. Hate nails him with a small package.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: Dr. Hate trying to get his 2nd pin very quickly.

JV: Well the longer this match goes, the harder it's going to be for
them to get the consecutive pins.

[Dr. Hate whips Sandman into the ropes.
Dr. Hate and Sandman get hit with a double clothesline.
Dr. Hate takes him down with a rolling kick.
Dr. Hate throws Sandman out of the ring.
Dr. Hate goes through the ropes.]

VM: And Dr. Hate wants this match to get violent.

[Sandman whips Dr. Hate into the guardrail.
Sandman knocks Dr. Hate into the ringsteps.
Sandman runs down to the Compusa in the mall and steals a keyboard.]

VM: At least Jagged Edge paid for his shovel.

[Sandman hits him with the keyboard.
Sandman hits him with the keyboard.
Sandman whips Dr. Hate into the guardrail.
Dr. Hate picks up the keyboard.
Dr. Hate hits him with the keyboard.
The keyboard is broken in half.]

VM: and the keys go flying everywhere.

[Sandman is busted wide open.]

JV: And so does Sandman's blood.

[Dr. Hate sets up a table.
Dr. Hate sets up Sandman on the table.
Dr. Hate tries to drive Sandman through the table with a moonsault, but he
moves out of the way.
The table is broken in half.]
VM: Huge miscue on Dr. Hates part.

JV: Yeah he went for that table a bit early.

[Sandman whips Dr. Hate into the guardrail.
Sandman executes a choke slam.
Sandman throws Dr. Hate back into the ring.
Sandman executes a bearhug.]

VM: And Sandman is back in control.

[Dr. Hate reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Sandman nails him with a reverse neckbreaker.
Sandman executes an elbowsmash.
Sandman takes him down with a thrust kick to the head.
Sandman nails him with a choke slam.
Sandman takes him down with a moonsault.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, thr... kickout.]

VM: And the Doctor barely kicked out in time.

JV: Ever since that table miscue, it's been all Sandman.

[Dr. Hate takes him down with a chop.
Sandman is bleeding profusely.
Dr. Hate goes for the Assisted Suicide, but Sandman counters it with
a duck-down move.]

VM: Sandman was ready that time.

JV: Good sign of intelligence there by Sandman to remember that Dr. Hate
execute the Assisted Suicide after a chop last time.

[Sandman goes for a football tackle, but Dr. Hate counters it with a side step.
Dr. Hate executes a headscissors submission.
Sandman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Dr. Hate whips Sandman into the turnbuckle.
Dr. Hate charges into the corner.
Dr. Hate goes for a dragon suplex, but Sandman blocks it.]

VM:  And Sandman very smartly grabs on to the ropes to prevent Dr. Hate
from executing that Dragon Suplex.

[Sandman takes him down with a reverse neckbreaker.
Sandman runs into the ropes.
Sandman goes for a choke slam, but Dr. Hate blocks it.
Dr. Hate nails him with an armbar submission.
Sandman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 10 seconds.]

VM: Dr. Hate is going for the submission holds now.

[Dr. Hate takes him down with a rolling kick.
Dr. Hate executes a cobra clutch.
Sandman breaks the hold after 7 seconds.
Sandman goes for a neck snap, but Dr. Hate blocks it.
Dr. Hate attempts to place Sandman on the turnbuckle, but Sandman blocks it.
Dr. Hate takes him down with an octopus hold.
Sandman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Dr. Hate nails him with an armbar submission.
Dr. Hate lets go after 16 seconds.]

JV: Tony "The Tooth" Gianni has really had an impact on Dr. Hate.  Ever
since Tony and The Mobster joined the Underground, the Doctor has been
using more submission holds cuz he's seen the results when used properly.

[Dr. Hate goes for a clawhold, but Sandman blocks it.
Sandman executes a double underhook backbreaker.
Sandman goes for a dropkick to the knee, but Dr. Hate counters it with
a side step.
Dr. Hate executes a camel clutch.]

VM: I'd have to say you're right Johnny, whether he knows it or not, Dr.
Hate has definitely been influenced by the success of The Mobster.

[Sandman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Dr. Hate goes for a small package, but Sandman reverses it.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, shoulder up.]

JV: Sandman is a very quick learner.  He's quickly adapting to the
Doctor and is able to counter all of his moves after seeing them just
once.

[Sandman whips Dr. Hate into the ropes, but Dr. Hate reverses it.
Dr. Hate goes for an abdominal stretch, but Sandman counters it with a hiptoss.
Sandman is bleeding like a faucet.
Sandman runs into the ropes.
Sandman takes him down with a clothesline.]

VM: Dr. Hate hit the mat hard after that clothesline.  And it looks like
Sandman is going for a high risk maneuver.

[Sandman places Dr. Hate on the turnbuckle.
Sandman catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: Only a two count.

JV: That surprised me.  That was a great superplex there.  One of the
best I've seen in a long time.  I can't believe the Doctor was able to
get out of that.

[Sandman goes for a football tackle, but Dr. Hate counters it with a side step.
Dr. Hate goes for a double chickenwing submission, but Sandman blocks it.
Sandman nails him with a flying clothesline.
Sandman nails him with a jumping DDT.
Sandman executes a backbreaker.
Dr. Hate pushes back on his opponents eyes.]

JV: That hurts.

VM: And that stopped Sandman's onslaught dead in it's tracks.

[Dr. Hate goes for the Assisted Suicide, but Sandman counters it with
a fist to the midsection.]

JV: And again that quick learning by Sandman pays off.

[Sandman takes him down with an armdrag takedown.
Sandman nails him with a small package.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, shoulder up.]

VM: Sandman is getting a lot of 2 counts but has yet to get the three.

[Sandman takes him down with a jumping DDT.
Sandman is bleeding profusely.
Sandman executes the Sleeperhold.
Dr. Hate submits immediately.]

VM: And the Doctor is out like a light.  The paramedics come in and
revive Dr. Hate by throwing some ice cold water on him then Matarese
sends them to opposite corners.

EH: The winner of the 2nd fall is Sandman, in a time of 8:34.  This is
the first pin out of the consecutive three for Sandman.

VM: BTW, that time is for the overall match, not for that particular
fall.  The bell has rung again.

[They lock up.
Dr. Hate nails him with a rolling kick.
Sandman goes for a choke slam, but Dr. Hate blocks it.
Dr. Hate executes a rolling kick.]

VM: Despite his adaptability, Sandman hasn't quite figured out a way to
avoid that rolling kick of Dr. Hate.

[Dr. Hate goes for a sleeperhold, but Sandman blocks it.
Sandman takes him down with a double underhook backbreaker.
Sandman whips Dr. Hate into the turnbuckle.
Sandman charges into the corner, but Dr. Hate lifts his leg.
Dr. Hate takes him down with an octopus hold.]

VM: And back to the submission holds.  Who do you think would win in a
match of Dr. Hate vs. The Mobster?

JV: A couple of announcers over in GEWA have been trying to line that
match up for a while.  Personally, I'd have to say The Mobster, because
he can execute those holds better than anyone else.

[Sandman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 9 seconds.
Dr. Hate whips Sandman into the ropes.
Dr. Hate hits Sandman with a shoulderblock.
Dr. Hate is going for the pin.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, in the ropes...]

VM: Too close to the ropes.

[Dr. Hate goes for a back heel kick, but Sandman blocks it.
Sandman runs into the ropes.
Sandman hits Dr. Hate with a shoulderblock.]

VM: Sandman has found a large piece of the keyboard.

[Sandman takes a swing at Dr. Hate with part of the keyboard, but he gets out
of the way.
Dr. Hate snatches the part of the keyboard from him.
Dr. Hate takes a swing at Sandman with part of the keyboard, but he gets out
of the way.
Mark Matarese snatches the part of the keyboard from him.
Mark Matarese throws the part of the keyboard out of the ring.]

JV: Heh.  Even Matarese got fed up with them not being able to hit each
other with it.

[Dr. Hate executes a full nelson.
Sandman breaks the hold after 6 seconds.
Sandman nails him with a Frankensteiner.
Mark Matarese counts: One, kickout.]

VM: The Frankensteiner only gets a one count.

[Sandman runs into the ropes.
Sandman hits Dr. Hate with a clothesline.
Sandman leaves the ring.
Sandman runs down to the Sports Authority in the mall and steals a baseball
bat.]

VM: I really hope either Booker Frenck or commissioner Yvette makes
Jagged Edge pay for all this stuff he's stealing.

[Sandman hits him with the baseball bat.
Mark Matarese throws the baseball bat out of the ring.
Mark Matarese yells "Thou Shalt not Steal!"]

JV: Apparently the Reverend wasn't too happy about Sandman's shoplifting
either.

[Dr. Hate goes for a back heel kick, but Sandman blocks it.
Sandman nails him with a dropkick to the knee.
Sandman whips Dr. Hate into the turnbuckle.
Dr. Hate bumps into Mark Matarese.]

VM: And down goes the Reverend Matarese.

[Sandman charges into the corner.
Sandman nails him with a thrust kick to the head.
Dr. Hate takes him down with a rolling kick.
Dr. Hate catches him in a dragon suplex.
There is no referee to count.]

JV: Tough break for Dr. Hate.  Matarese is still down and unable to
count.

[Sandman takes him down with a neck snap.
Sandman nails him with a football tackle.
Sandman takes him down with a football tackle.
Dr. Hate catches him in a dragon suplex.
There is no referee to count.]

JV: Dr. Hate should've really looked over and seen if Matarese was up
before going for another pin move.

VM: Well Mark is back up now.

[Mark Matarese is back on the job.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.]

JV: Had Matarese not been unconscious, that would've been a three
count right there.

[Dr. Hate goes for a chinlock deathlock submission, but Sandman blocks it.
Sandman runs into the ropes.
Sandman hits Dr. Hate with a backdrop.
Sandman catches him in an inside cradle.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: Close, but no cigar.

[Sandman whips Dr. Hate into the ropes.
Dr. Hate misses with a shoulderblock.
Dr. Hate hits Sandman with a shoulderblock.]

VM: Undaunted by his miss, Dr. Hate comes right back and connects that
time.

[Dr. Hate whips Sandman into the ropes, but Sandman reverses it.
Sandman misses with an elbow.
Sandman hits Dr. Hate with a backdrop.
Sandman takes him down with a figure-four leglock.
Dr. Hate reaches the ropes after being trapped for 9 seconds.]

JV: Sandman is putting on a good display of submission moves tonight as
well.

[Sandman executes the Sleeperhold.]

VM: and there's his best one!

[Dr. Hate submits after 5 seconds.]

VM: And again Sandman sends Dr. Hate off to never never land.  And here
come the paramedics again with a bucket of ice cold water.

EH: The winner of the third fall is Sandman, in a time of 13:31.  That
is the 2nd consecutive pin out of three for Sandman.

VM: Sandman just one pin away from advancing.

JV: Yeah but If Dr. Hate wins this fall, then Sandman's gotta start all
over again.

[They lock up.
Sandman whips Dr. Hate into the ropes.
Sandman hits Dr. Hate with a shoulderblock.
Sandman is bleeding profusely.]

VM: Despite the massive blood loss by Sandman, he really hasn't missed a
step.

[Sandman places Dr. Hate on the turnbuckle.
Sandman catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.
Sandman complains about a slow count.]

VM: Sandman thinks that should've been more than a two count.

JV: If it was another ref, I could maybe see it.  But not Matarese.
He's the most consistent with his counts out of anyone.

VM: I'm really surprised that you found a ref that you like.

JV: Like I said, he's a great guy.  Though I kinda hate it when he tries
to convert me.

[Sandman executes a neck snap.
Sandman goes for a double underhook piledriver, but Dr. Hate blocks it.
Dr. Hate runs into the ropes.
Sandman hits Dr. Hate with a clothesline.
Sandman throws Dr. Hate out of the ring.
Dr. Hate reenters the ring.]

VM: And for the 2nd time tonight, Sandman has decided not to follow Dr.
Hate out.

JV: Well at this point it would be foolish.  Sandman is one pin away
from advancing plus he's in control right now.  He'd be risking it all
by going outside.

[Sandman takes him down with an enzuigiri.
Sandman nails him with a reverse neckbreaker.
Sandman runs into the ropes.
Dr. Hate hits Sandman with a kick.]

JV: Sandman gave the Doctor an opening and he took it.
[Dr. Hate goes for an octopus hold, but Sandman counters it with a hiptoss.
In turn, Dr. Hate counters it with a backslide.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: And we were just one count away from this whole thing starting over.

[Dr. Hate takes him down with a chop.
Dr. Hate goes for the Assisted Suicide, but Sandman counters it with
a duck-down move.]

JV: And again that adaptability by Sandman comes into play.

[Sandman executes a kick to the midsection.
Sandman attempts to place Dr. Hate on the turnbuckle, but Dr. Hate blocks it.
Sandman goes for a small package, but Dr. Hate reverses it.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: That small package almost backfired on Sandman there.

[Sandman takes him down with a dropkick to the knee.
Sandman goes for a sleeperhold, but Dr. Hate counters it with a jawbreaker.
Dr. Hate yells "It's time for a little suicide solution!".]

JV: The doctor's voice just hasn't been the same since he's had his
throat slashed.

[Dr. Hate executes a scorpion deathlock.
Sandman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Dr. Hate runs into the ropes.
Dr. Hate hits Sandman with a shoulderblock.
Dr. Hate executes a back heel kick.]

VM: Dr. Hate beginning to make a comeback.

[Dr. Hate takes him down with a chop.
Dr. Hate goes for the Assisted Suicide, but Sandman counters it with
a fist to the midsection.]

JV: And again Sandman saw the chop and immediately knew what was coming
next.

[Sandman goes for a powerslam, but Dr. Hate counters it with a lariat.
In turn, Sandman counters it with a duck-down move.
Sandman takes him down with a powerslam.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, three.]

VM: And that HUGE powerslam sends Sandman into the next round.

EH: The winner of the final fall, and winner of the match is Sandman, in
a time of 16:55.

VM: And one Underground member has been eliminated.  I'm sure Yvette
must be happy about that.

VM: Well both men have left the ring and now let's go up to Evander for
some more introductions.

EH: Introducing first, from Nameless, Tennessee, weighing in at 333
pounds, here is Phoenix!!

["Shitlist" by L7 plays as Phoenix  makes his way to the platform.  The
crowd boos loudly.  Once at the platform. Phoenix starts posing and the
young girls start taking pictures.]

EH: His opponent, from Indianapolis, Indiana, weighing in at 234 pounds,
here is Ronnie "Rols Royce" Martin!!

["The Glamour Boys" by Living Colour starts to play as Ronnie Martin
starts to make his way to the platform.  The crowd boos loudly.  Once Martin
reaches the platform, He also starts to pose for the ladies who
instantly start taking pictures.]

BF: Ok guys, let's spin... uh, guys?  hello?  hey guys, can you stop
posing for a minute?  There is a match that's suppose to happen.

[Both men stop posing.]

<Booker Frenck spins the wheel.  A giant scoreboard above the wheel
displays the types of matches as they go by.  Firewall Death match,
Lumberjack match, Vanity mirror match and then finally stops on Steel
Cage Death match.>

JV: Bummer.  Out of all the exciting matches listed there, they get a
rather ordinary one.

VM: I would've love to have seen a Vanity Mirror match between these
two.

[Both wrestlers slowly make their way to the ring constantly stopping to
pose for the female fans.]

<5 minutes later>

VM: Finally both men seem to be just about done posing and are about to
enter the ring.

<Both men enter the ring and start posing again>

VM: Could we have gotten two individuals that are more vain than these
two?  Well the bell has rung, and they're still posing!!

<three minutes go by.>

VM: This is ridiculous.

JV: Even Holyfield is getting fed up with all this posing.

[Holyfield enters the ring and pushes Martin into Phoenix.
The crowd pops.
Holyfield quickly exits out the cage door.]

JV: That'll get things started.

[They lock up.
Phoenix runs into the ropes.
Phoenix hits Ronnie Martin with a shoulderblock.
Phoenix nails him with a slingshot legdrop.
Phoenix nails him with a powerslam.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: Phoenix starting off strong after Holyfield started the match.

[Phoenix nails him with a dropkick to the knee.
Phoenix goes for a powerslam, but Ronnie Martin counters it with a lariat.
Ronnie Martin nails him with a Hotshot.]

VM: Ronnie is working on the throat area of Phoenix.

JV: Not a bad strategy.  If ya can't breathe, ya cant wrestle.

[Ronnie Martin runs into the ropes.
Phoenix hits Ronnie Martin with a kick.
Ronnie Martin begs off.]

JV: He's begging off after a kick?

VM: It doesn't matter.  Phoenix still picks him up.

[Phoenix takes him down with a running powerslam.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.
Phoenix nails him with a backdrop driver.
Phoenix nails him with a flying headbutt.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, three.]

JV: Wow.  Phoenix got the first pin quickly.

VM: Yeah but Martin still seems to be in good shape.

[Mark Matarese counts: one, Ronnie Martin gets back to his feet.]

JV: You're right McMihn.  Martins gets right back to his feet.  Which is
actually a mistake.  He should've taken a little bit more time to rest
up and think about strategies.

[Ronnie Martin runs into the ropes.
Phoenix hits Ronnie Martin with an elbow.
Phoenix goes for a short arm scissors, but Ronnie Martin blocks it.
Ronnie Martin runs into the ropes.
Phoenix hits Ronnie Martin with a backdrop.]

JV: I think Martin should rule out running into the ropes.

[Phoenix is going for the pin.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, shoulder up.
Phoenix nails him with a flying forearm.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: Neither of the pin attempts there are good for the three.

[Phoenix goes for a Hotshot, but Ronnie Martin counters it with a lariat.
Ronnie Martin catches him in a Northern Lights suplex.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, kickout.
Ronnie Martin complains about a slow count.
Phoenix catches him in an inside cradle.
Mark Matarese counts: One, kickout.]

VM: Phoenix tried to take Martin by surprise but Martin quickly got out
of it.

[Phoenix scrapes Ronnie Martin's face across the cage.
Ronnie Martin is busted wide open.]

VM: Suddenly the women don't find Martin quite as attractive.

[Phoenix whips Ronnie Martin into the turnbuckle.
Ronnie Martin comes back and rocks Phoenix with a clothesline.
Ronnie Martin executes a Hotshot.
Ronnie Martin grinds Phoenix's face across the cage.
Phoenix is busted wide open.]

VM: And now Phoenix is bleeding.

JV: And many female members of the audience and leaving.  I guess they
just came here to see Martin and Phoenix and don't find them attractive
when they're bleeding from the forehead.

[Ronnie Martin runs into the ropes.
Ronnie Martin misses with a clothesline.
Phoenix and Ronnie Martin get hit with a double clothesline.]

VM: And both men go down hard.

JV: Phoenix makes it back to his feet first.

[Phoenix takes him down with an elbowsmash.
Phoenix executes a fist to the midsection.
Phoenix rakes Ronnie Martin's face across the cage.]

VM: And again Phoenix introduces martin to the steel cage.

[Phoenix executes the Razzle Dazzle and goes for the pin.
Mark Matarese counts: One, two, three.]

VM: There's that flashy reverse neckbreaker.

JV: Martin is holding his neck.  I think Phoenix might've knocked a 
disk loose or something.

[Mark Matarese counts: one, two, three, four,]

VM: Martin hasn't even attempted to stand back up yet.

[five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.]

VM: And that's it!  Phoenix makes short work of Ronnie Martin and
advances to the semi finals where he'll meet Sandman.

EH: The winner is Phoenix, in a time of 6:39.

VM: Which would've only been 3:39 if they hadn't wasted 3 minutes posing.
Well as the roadies tear down the cage, let's go to Evander Holyfield, for
our next set of introductions.

EH: Introducing first, being led to his manager, John Smooth, from parts
unknown, weighing in at 289 pounds, here is Coldblooded!!

["Hail Mary" by 2pac plays as Coldblooded and John Smooth make their way
to the ring.  Coldblooded wears an all black outfit, wrestling tights, a
long sleeve black shirt, black trenchcoat and fingerless black gloves.  His
face is painted all white, and is always in a scowl with black paint.  He is
carrying a baseball bat. The crowd boos loudly as he heads towards the
platform because of his obvious Sting ripoff.]

JV: I think we can give it out the first SWF award for most unoriginal
gimmick.  I'd say that our Sting wannabe is the winner of this fine
award hands down.

VM: No argument from me there.  I guess Coldblooded didn't think anybody
else watched the WCW.

JV: What a loser.

EH: His opponent, from the Southwestern U.S., weighing in at 237 pounds,
here is Jesse Aires!!

["Where Ever I May Roam" by Metallica plays as Aires makes his way to
the platform.  He get's a standing ovation because the crowd is happy to see
him wrestling again after the injuries he sustained last week.]

BF: Jesse, nice to have you back, Sting welcome to the SWF.

<Booker Frenck spins the wheel.  A giant scoreboard above the wheel
displays the types of matches as they go by.  Baseball match,
Swordfighting match, Street Fight match and then finally stops on Table
Death match.>

BF: All right guys, please make your way to the ring.

[The three men make their way to the ring.  As the roadies bring down
lots of tables.]
VM: The tables are in place, and the bell has rung.

[They lock up.
Jesse Aires whips Coldblooded into the ropes.
Jesse Aires executes an armbar submission.
Coldblooded reaches the ropes after being trapped for 11 seconds.]

VM: Aires starting with the submission right off the back.

[Jesse Aires whips Coldblooded into the ropes, but Coldblooded reverses it.
Coldblooded takes him down with a bulldog headlock.
Coldblooded nails him with a DDT.
Coldblooded executes a dropkick to the knee.
Jesse Aires goes for a short lariat, but Coldblooded counters it with
a duck-down move.
Jesse Aires bumps into Scott Thomas.]

VM: And Scott Thomas just got nailed by a short lariat.

[Coldblooded goes for a swinging neckbreaker, but Jesse Aires counters it with
a side suplex.
Jesse Aires runs into the ropes.
Jesse Aires misses with an elbow.
Coldblooded executes a powerslam.
Scott Thomas is back on the job.]

JV: Scott got back on his feet quickly.

[Coldblooded throws Jesse Aires out of the ring.
Coldblooded goes through the ropes.]

VM: Sting, I mean Coldblooded, takes the match outside.

[Coldblooded takes him down with a tiger driver.
Coldblooded grabs an umbrella from a fan.
Coldblooded hits him with the umbrella.
Jesse Aires is busted wide open.]

VM: And Aires is busted open.

JV: I'm beginning to wonder if Jesse came back to soon.

[Coldblooded whips Jesse Aires into the guardrail.
Coldblooded sets up a table.
Coldblooded knocks Jesse Aires into the ringpost.
Coldblooded hits him with the umbrella.
Coldblooded executes a Hotshot.
Coldblooded hits him with the umbrella.]

VM: He sure likes that umbrella doesn't he?

[Coldblooded throws Jesse Aires back into the ring.
Coldblooded brings the umbrella into the ring.
Jesse Aires executes a short clothesline.
Jesse Aires goes for a vertical suplex, but Coldblooded reverses it.
Coldblooded whips Jesse Aires into the ropes.
Coldblooded hits Jesse Aires with a shoulderblock.
Coldblooded hits him with the umbrella.]

VM: And Coldblooded is just all over Aires.

JV: I really hope Aires wins.

VM: Really?  Why is that?

JV: Cuz I don't think I can handle seeing this Sting rip-off two weeks
in a row.

[Coldblooded catches him in a flying legdrop.
Jesse Aires is bleeding profusely.
Coldblooded runs into the ropes.
Coldblooded hits Jesse Aires with a kick.
Coldblooded goes for a swinging neckbreaker, but Jesse Aires counters it with
a side suplex.
Jesse Aires nails him with a gutwrench suplex.]

VM: Aires trying to make a comeback.

[Jesse Aires goes for a thrust kick to the head, but Coldblooded
counters it with a duck-down move.
Coldblooded takes him down with a DDT.
Jesse Aires is bleeding profusely.]

VM: And that cut on Jesse's forehead is getting worse.

[Jesse Aires goes for a short lariat, but Coldblooded counters it with
a duck-down move.
Coldblooded whips Jesse Aires into the ropes.
Coldblooded goes for a short lariat, but Jesse Aires counters it with
a duck-down move.
Jesse Aires nails him with a short clothesline.
Coldblooded takes him down with a German suplex.]

VM: Coldblooded shrugs off that short clothesline and hits Aires with a
German Suplex.

[Jesse Aires executes a hiptoss.
Jesse Aires throws Coldblooded out of the ring.
Jesse Aires jumps onto him with a jumping elbow thrust from the apron.
They're brawling inside the ring area.]

VM: And this time it's Jesse taking things to the outside.

[Coldblooded reenters the ring.
Jesse Aires follows him back in.]

JV: Coldblooded is too scared to be on the outside without his precious
umbrella.
[Coldblooded goes for a fistdrop, but Jesse Aires counters it with a roll away.
Jesse Aires throws Coldblooded out of the ring.]

VM: Coldblooded tried to take advantage of Aires as he rolled into the
ring, but Aires was ready and has thrown him back to the outside.

[Jesse Aires jumps onto him with a jumping elbow thrust from the apron.
Coldblooded is busted wide open.]

VM: And that elbow thrust hit Coldblooded right in the nose!

JV: Adding a little bit of red to that black and white makeup.

[Jesse Aires sets up Coldblooded on the table.
Jesse Aires executes an elbowdrop through the table.
The table is broken in half.]

VM, JV & all of the fans: YES!

[Scott Thomas counts: one, two, three, Coldblooded gets back to his
feet.]

VM, JV & all of the fans: DAMN!

[Jesse Aires goes for a jumping elbow thrust, but Coldblooded counters it with
a duck-down move.
Coldblooded whips Jesse Aires into the ropes.
Jesse Aires hits Coldblooded with a kick.
Jesse Aires executes a DDT.]

VM: Nice DDT there.

[Jesse Aires goes for a snap mare, but Coldblooded blocks it.
Coldblooded throws Jesse Aires out of the ring.
Coldblooded goes through the ropes.
Coldblooded goes for a tiger driver, but Jesse Aires counters it with a
backdrop.]

JV: That's it Jesse, counter everything he's got.

[Jesse Aires executes a gutwrench suplex.
Jesse Aires goes for a forearm smash, but Coldblooded blocks it.
Coldblooded goes for a brain buster, but Jesse Aires counters it with
a vertical suplex.]

VM: And another counter!

[Jesse Aires whips Coldblooded into the guardrail.
Jesse Aires nails him with a piledriver.
Jesse Aires whips Coldblooded into the guardrail.
Jesse Aires takes him down with an atomic drop.
Jesse Aires whips Coldblooded into the guardrail.]

VM: And the fans are ecstatic with Coldblooded getting rammed into the
guardrail several times.

[Jesse Aires goes for a dropkick, but Coldblooded counters it with a side step.
Coldblooded whips Jesse Aires into the guardrail.
Coldblooded takes him down with a kick to the midsection.
Coldblooded goes for a kick to the midsection, but Jesse Aires blocks it.
Coldblooded whips Jesse Aires into the guardrail.]

VM: and now Aires gets whipped into the guardrail.

JV: You know, WCW's nWo has a guy going around pretending he's Sting, I
think the Underground should get a guy going around pretending he's
Coldblooded just as a way to show him how lame his gimmick is.

[Coldblooded executes a German suplex.
Coldblooded catches him in a Northern Lights suplex.
Coldblooded throws Jesse Aires back into the ring.
Coldblooded goes for a sleeperhold, but Jesse Aires blocks it.]

VM: Aires smartly blocks that sleeper as he enters the ring.

[Jesse Aires whips Coldblooded into the ropes, but Coldblooded reverses it.
Jesse Aires misses with a shoulderblock.
Coldblooded nails him with a dropkick to the knee.
Coldblooded executes a scorpion deathlock.
The crowd starts to boo heavily.
Jesse Aires manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 8
seconds.]

JV: Coldblooded got distracted by all the booing giving Aires a chance
to break free.

[Jesse Aires executes a thrust kick to the head.
Jesse Aires goes for the Badlands, but Coldblooded counters it with
an armdrag takedown.]

VM: And Coldblooded manages to counter Jesse's finisher.

JV: Bummer.

[Coldblooded catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Coldblooded executes the Revelations.
The crowd boos even louder and starts to throw things at Coldblooded.]

JV: and he even does that reverse DDT of Sting's.  How unoriginal.

[Coldblooded takes him down with a side suplex.
Coldblooded goes for a brain buster, but Jesse Aires counters it with
a vertical suplex.
Jesse Aires throws Coldblooded out of the ring.]

VM: And Aires is again taking it outside!

[Jesse Aires goes through the ropes.
Jesse Aires knocks Coldblooded into the ringpost.
Jesse Aires goes for a side suplex, but Coldblooded blocks it.
Coldblooded reenters the ring.]

JV: That wuss Coldblooded won't stay out there.

[Jesse Aires follows him back in.
Coldblooded throws Jesse Aires out of the ring.
Coldblooded goes through the ropes.]

JV: Then why did you get back in idiot?

[Coldblooded executes a lariat.
Jesse Aires bumps into Scott Thomas.]

VM: And that lariat knocked Aires into Referee Scott Thomas.

[Coldblooded reenters the ring.
Jesse Aires follows him back in.
Coldblooded leaves the ring.
He returns with the Baseball Bat.]

VM: And Sting, uh, Coldblooded grabs that "Truth Teller" baseball bat of
his.

JV: You know, it's losers like Coldblooded that are going to give the
SWF a bad image.

[Coldblooded hits him with the Baseball Bat.
Coldblooded throws Jesse Aires out of the ring.
Coldblooded goes through the ropes.
Coldblooded hits him with the Baseball Bat.]

JV: Apparently Coldblooded has realized that he can't outwrestle Aires
so he'll just have to out brawl him.

VM: Speaking of BRAWL, I heard a wrestler was rejected from there
because his gimmick was nothing but a copy of Sting.

JV: Hmmm.... I wonder if it's the same guy.

[Coldblooded sets up a table.
Coldblooded nails him with a brain buster.
Scott Thomas is back on the job.
Coldblooded sets up Jesse Aires on the table.
Coldblooded tries to drive Jesse Aires through the table with
a slingshot legdrop, but he moves out of the way.
The table is broken in half.
The crowd pops!]

VM: And Aires was playing possum and waited until the last minute to
move out of the way!

JV: I hope Coldblooded doesn't get up.
[Scott Thomas counts: one, two, three,]

JV: Stay down!

[four, five, six, seven,]

VM: This might be it.

[eight, Coldblooded gets back to his feet.]

JV: Damn!

[The entire audience starts grumbling.
Jesse Aires executes the Badlands.
The crowd pops.]

VM: And Aires nailed him with that diving full nelson as soon as he
stood up!

[Jesse Aires goes for a thrust kick to the head, but Coldblooded
counters it with a duck-down move.
Coldblooded takes him down with a German suplex.
Coldblooded catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Coldblooded catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.]

VM: But unfortunately, Coldblooded is back in control.

[Coldblooded goes for a Tombstone, but Jesse Aires reverses it.
Coldblooded Drops him on the top rope face first.
Coldblooded executes the Revelations.
The crowd starts to chant "You're not Sting!"]

JV: I like this crowd.  I think this is he best group of fans we've ever
had.

[Coldblooded places Jesse Aires on the turnbuckle.
Coldblooded takes him down with a belly-to-back superplex.
Coldblooded catches him in a Northern Lights suplex.]

VM: Unfortunately the chants aren't having much effect as Coldblooded
continues to dominate.

[Coldblooded goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Jesse Aires blocks it.
Jesse Aires takes him down with a hiptoss.
Jesse Aires takes him down with a fistdrop.
Jesse Aires takes him down with a short clothesline.
Coldblooded is bleeding profusely.]

JV: I guess we should call him Coldbloody!

VM: Good one!

[Jesse Aires whips Coldblooded into the ropes, but Coldblooded reverses it.
Jesse Aires nails him with a kick to the midsection.
Jesse Aires nails him with a forearm smash.]

JV: Hey McMihn, want to play a game?

VM: Now?

[Jesse Aires throws Coldblooded out of the ring.
Jesse Aires jumps onto him with a jumping elbow thrust from the apron, but
Coldblooded moves out of the way.
Coldblooded sets up a table.
Coldblooded whips Jesse Aires into the guardrail.]

JV: It's an easy game.

VM: What is it?

[Coldblooded goes for a jack-knife power bomb, but Jesse Aires counters it with
a backdrop.
Jesse Aires reenters the ring.
Coldblooded follows him back in.
Jesse Aires takes him down with a spinning mule kick.]

JV: Let's try to come up with all the differences between Sting and
Coldblooded.

VM: Ok, that should kill about 30 seconds.  Well, Coldblooded has a
manager, and Sting does not.

[Jesse Aires runs into the ropes.
Jesse Aires goes for a dropkick, but Coldblooded counters it with a side step.
Coldblooded runs into the ropes.
Coldblooded hits Jesse Aires with a shoulderblock.]

JV: And Coldblooded speaks and Sting does not.

VM: Sting is liked by the fans, Coldblooded is not.

[Coldblooded goes for the STF, but Jesse Aires blocks it.
Jesse Aires takes him down with a thrust kick to the head.
Jesse Aires executes the Badlands.
The crowd pops.]

VM: And Aires pulls the Badlands out of nowhere.  Now, where were we?

JV: Sting can wrestle, Coldblooded can't.  That's 4 differences.  Can
you think of any others?

[Jesse Aires goes for a side suplex, but Coldblooded blocks it.
Coldblooded executes a kick to the midsection.
Jesse Aires whips Coldblooded into the ropes.
Coldblooded hits Jesse Aires with a clothesline.
Coldblooded takes him down with a dropkick to the knee.]

VM: Well Coldblooded wears those white contact lenses.
[Coldblooded nails him with a scorpion deathlock.
Jesse Aires manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 16
seconds.]

JV: I think that's kinda nit-picking, but I'll allow it.  So that 5
differences between Sting and Coldblooded.  I can't think of anymore,
can you?

[Jesse Aires nails him with a piledriver.
Jesse Aires flips his hair back and stares at his opponent.
Jesse Aires goes for an armbar submission, but Coldblooded blocks it.
Coldblooded nails him with a brain buster.]

VM: No, I think that's it.

[Coldblooded leaves the ring.
Coldblooded snatches a bottle of Mello Yello from some hick college
student wearing a University of Tennessee Sweatshirt.
He returns with a bottle.]

JV: You know, I get the feeling I should know that hick college student
from somewhere.

[Coldblooded takes a swing at Jesse Aires with the bottle, but
he gets out of the way.
Jesse Aires snatches the bottle from him.
Jesse Aires hits him with the bottle.
The crowd pops.]

VM: And the bottle breaks open and Mello Yello spills all over the ring.

[A tear runs down the hick college student's face.
Jesse Aires runs into the ropes.
Jesse Aires hits Coldblooded with a shoulderblock.
Jesse Aires runs into the ropes.
Coldblooded misses with a kick.
Coldblooded takes him down with a lariat.
Coldblooded executes the Revelations.
The crowd starts to chant "You Suck!"

VM: And the crowd is chanting in perfect unison.

JV: Nothing like a wrestler with a stolen gimmick to unite everybody.

[Coldblooded nails him with a swinging neckbreaker.
Coldblooded catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Coldblooded executes a spinebuster slam.
Coldblooded executes a slingshot legdrop.]

VM: And unfortunately, Coldblooded is again in control.

JV: C'mon everybody!  Let's help Jesse!

[The fans start to chant "Jesse!"
Coldblooded places Jesse Aires on the turnbuckle.
Coldblooded takes him down with a superplex.
Coldblooded catches him in a Northern Lights suplex.
Coldblooded goes for a spinebuster slam, but Jesse Aires counters it with
a swinging neckbreaker.
The crowd pops.]

[Jesse Aires nails him with a fistdrop.
Coldblooded is bleeding profusely.
Jesse Aires goes for a snap suplex, but Coldblooded counters it with
a vertical suplex.
Jesse Aires re-reverses it.
Jesse Aires executes a waistlock suplex.
Jesse Aires hits him with the bottle.]

VM: And Aires swipes at Coldblooded with the broken bottle.

[Jesse Aires goes for a waistlock suplex, but Coldblooded counters it with
an elbowsmash.
Coldblooded executes a sleeperhold.
The fans start chanting "Jesse!"]

VM: and again the fans are trying to root on Aires.

[Coldblooded lets go after 11 seconds.
Coldblooded takes him down with a dropkick to the knee.
Coldblooded goes for a scorpion deathlock, but Jesse Aires blocks it.
Jesse Aires executes a vertical suplex.
Jesse Aires executes a thrust kick to the head.
Jesse Aires executes the Badlands.
The crowd pops.]

VM: And Aires is back in control!!

[Jesse Aires nails him with an armlock hammerlock submission.
Coldblooded reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Coldblooded goes for a powerslam, but Jesse Aires counters it with a lariat.
Jesse Aires takes him down with a gutwrench suplex.
Jesse Aires takes him down with a DDT.]

VM: And Aires, being fueled by the crowds chants, is on fire!

[Jesse Aires goes for a back suplex, but Coldblooded counters it with
a cross-body block.
Coldblooded goes for a kick to the midsection, but Jesse Aires blocks it.
Jesse Aires executes a short lariat.
Jesse Aires throws Coldblooded out of the ring.
Jesse Aires goes through the ropes.
Coldblooded sets up Jesse Aires on the table.]

JV: Uh-oh!  Coldblooded wants to put an end to this right now!

[Coldblooded tries to drive Jesse Aires through the table with
a slingshot legdrop, but he moves out of the way.
The table is broken in half.
The entire crowd jumps up on their feet.]

VM: Aires was again playing Possum!!!

JV: I can't believe that Coldblooded fell for that twice!!!

[The crowd is silent as Scott Thomas starts to count in the hope that
Coldblooded stays down.
Scott Thomas counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
nine, ten.
The entire mall goes wild!]

VM: Aires did it!!!  He beat the Sting rip-off!!!!

JV: There is a God!!!!!  Uh-oh, I probably shouldn't have said that.
Now Matarese is going to be trying to get me to join his church.

EH: The winner is Jesse Aires!!  In a time of 18:51.

VM: Aires pulls off a big win and advances to the semifinals.

JV: Oh what a match!!

VM: Well let's go back to Evander for the introductions in our final match.

EH: All right this is our final match of the evening.  Introducing
first, being led by his manager Sean O'Brien, from Amarillo Texas,
weighing in at 270 pounds, here is Desperado!

["American Pie" by Don McLean plays as the two men make their way to the
platform.  The crowd mostly boos but some applaud because they're glad
to see that he too has recovered from his injuries last week.]

EH: And his oppponent, from Huntsville, Alabama, weighing in at 255
pounds, here is Billy Joe Taylor!!

["Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd plays as Billy makes his way to
the platform, shaking hands and hi-fiving fans.  The crowd cheers him
on.]

BF: Well, I'd like to say that we saved the best for last, but we got
you two guys instead.  Ha!  Just kidding.

Sean O'Brien: Just spin the wheel.

BF: Actually I'd like to buy a vowel!  ha!  I've been waiting all night
to use that joke.  Ok, here we go.

<Booker Frenck spins the wheel.  A giant scoreboard above the wheel
displays the types of matches as they go by.  parking lot match,
Singapore Cane Death match, Texas Death match and then finally stops on
Handcuff Death match.>

BF: All right guys, you know the deal, go to the ring.

[The three men head to the ring.  Once inside, Desperado and Billy
Taylor are handcuffed together.]

[Billy Joe Taylor attacks Desperado before the bell.
Billy Joe Taylor executes an octopus hold.
Desperado manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Billy Joe Taylor places Desperado on the turnbuckle.
Billy Joe Taylor executes a belly-to-back superplex.
The bell rings.]

VM: That's rather unface like to attack before the bell.

JV: I guess he doesn't like Desperado.

[Billy Joe Taylor nails him with a sleeperhold.]

VM: Billy Joe has that sleeper on tight.

[Referee Scott Thomas checks Desperados arm.  It drops once, It drops
twice, it doesn't drop for the third time.
Desperado breaks the hold after 33 seconds.]

VM: Desperado manages to break out of the sleeper.

JV: Billy had him in there for a long time.

[Desperado whips Billy Joe Taylor into the turnbuckle, but Billy Joe Taylor
reverses it.
Billy Joe Taylor gets pulled along and hits Desperado with his shoulder.
Billy Joe Taylor executes a jawbreaker.
Billy Joe Taylor nails him with a jawbreaker.]

VM: Billy softening up Desperados jaw.

JV: He should really be working on the neck since Desperado injured it
last week in his match against Desperado.

[Billy Joe Taylor goes for a waistlock suplex, but Desperado counters it with
an elbowsmash.
Desperado goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Billy Joe Taylor counters it with
an enzuilariato.
Billy Joe Taylor goes for an octopus hold, but Desperado counters it with
a hiptoss.]

JV: More counters than all of the Geocities home pages.

VM: I understand that reference, But I doubt our viewers do.  I
sincerely doubt that they're all computer knowledgeable.

[Desperado executes a thrust kick to the head.
Desperado is going for the pin.
Scott Thomas counts: One, two, shoulder up.]
VM: Only a two count.

JV: Desperado had to do some contorting to be able to nail Billy with
that thrust kick.  Not easy to do when your handcuffed to the guy.

[Desperado nails him with a stomachbreaker.
Desperado is going for the pin.
Scott Thomas counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: Again only a two count.

[Desperado places Billy Joe Taylor on the turnbuckle.
Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex.
Scott Thomas counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: HUGE superplex but again, only a two count.

[Desperado goes for a choke against the ropes, but Billy Joe Taylor blocks it.
Billy Joe Taylor goes for a swinging neckbreaker, but Desperado
counters it with a side suplex.
Desperado attempts to place Billy Joe Taylor on the turnbuckle, but
Billy Joe Taylor blocks it.
Desperado throws Billy Joe Taylor out of the ring.
Desperado gets pulled out.]

VM: Desperado momentarily forgot that he was handcuffed to Billy Joe and
got yanked out of the ring.

[Sean O'Brien comes from behind, but Billy Joe Taylor nails Sean O'Brien.
Desperado picks up the Bullwhip with a cowbell.]

JV: Billy Joe didn't see that Bullwhip Sean dropped.

VM: have we figured out the purpose of the cowbell yet?

JV: nope.

[Desperado hits him with the Bullwhip with a cowbell.
Desperado sets up a table.
Desperado throws Billy Joe Taylor back into the ring.
Desperado brings the table into the ring.]

VM: Bordeau brought a table into the ring in his match but never used
it.  Let's see if Desperado is going to use his.

[Desperado nails him with a vertical suplex.
Desperado takes him down with a Vader attack.
Desperado executes a slap.
Desperado yells "You are all pitiful excuses for human beings!".]

VM: That's not very nice.

JV: He's a heel you idiot.

[Desperado goes for a power bomb, but Billy Joe Taylor blocks it.
Billy Joe Taylor goes for a Northern Lights suplex, but Desperado blocks it.
Desperado sets up Billy Joe Taylor on the table.
Desperado tries to drive Billy Joe Taylor through the table with a power bomb,
but he blocks it.]

VM: Desperado tried to use the table but Billy Joe blocked that
powerbomb.

[Billy Joe Taylor nails him with a sleeperhold.]

VM: Billy Joe's got that sleeper on again.

JV: Yeah but I think he's too close to the ropes.

[Desperado reaches the ropes after being trapped for 15 seconds.]

JV: Told ya.

[Billy Joe Taylor sets up Desperado on the table.
Billy Joe Taylor tries to drive Desperado through the table with
an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle, but he moves out of the way.
The table is broken in half.]

JV: Billy should've never have gone for that.  Even with the table in
the corner, Billy had to lean forward and was out of balance while on
that 2nd turnbuckle because he was handcuffed to Desperado.

[Desperado executes a DDT.
Desperado is going for the pin.
Scott Thomas counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: Yet another two count.

[Desperado goes for a ropeburn, but Billy Joe Taylor blocks it.
Billy Joe Taylor takes him down with an armbar submission.
Desperado reaches the ropes after being trapped for 13 seconds.
Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.
Scott Thomas counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: And despite the armbar, Desperado executes a perfect suplex but was
unable to get the three count.

[Desperado executes a stomachbreaker.
Desperado takes him down with a chokehold.
Scott Thomas counts: One, two, three, four.
Billy Joe Taylor goes for a savate kick, but Desperado counters it with
a duck-down move.
Desperado goes for a gutwrench suplex, but Billy Joe Taylor blocks it.
Billy Joe Taylor takes him down with an octopus hold.]

VM: Billy again using some submission holds.

JV: I think Frenck should book a submission match between Dr. Hate and
Billy Joe.  You know, Frenck's got an easy job.  I've already come up
with two possible matches.

VM: I'm sure Brian has to do more than just come up with matches.

JV: What else does he have to do?

VM: I don't know but I understand there's a lot of typing involved.

JV: Big whoop.

[Billy Joe Taylor lets go after 14 seconds.
Billy Joe Taylor executes an armbar submission.
Desperado reaches the ropes after being trapped for 13 seconds.
Billy Joe Taylor goes for an octopus hold, but Desperado counters it with
a hiptoss.]

VM: Billy Joe went to the submission well one too many times.

[Desperado yells "You are all pitiful excuses for human beings!".
Desperado takes him down with a short lariat.
Scott Thomas counts: One, kickout.]

VM: Billy kicked out of that one in a hurry.

[Desperado takes him down with a Vader attack.
Billy Joe Taylor nails him with a piledriver.
Billy Joe Taylor yells "YEEE-HA!!!".]

JV: I feel like I'm watching an episode of "The Dukes of Hazzard" with
this guy.

[Desperado goes for a clothesline, but Billy Joe Taylor counters it with
a duck-down move.
Billy Joe Taylor nails him with an armbar submission.
Desperado breaks the hold after 5 seconds.
Desperado nails him with a gutwrench suplex.
Desperado takes him down with a side suplex.
Desperado executes a full nelson.]

VM: And now Desperado is going to the submission well.

[Billy Joe Taylor reaches the ropes after being trapped for 8 seconds.
Desperado goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Billy Joe Taylor counters it with
a backdrop.
Billy Joe Taylor goes for a cobra clutch, but Desperado counters it with
an armdrag takedown.
Desperado goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Billy Joe Taylor counters it with
a backdrop.]

JV: Deja Vu.

[Desperado goes for a stomachbreaker, but Billy Joe Taylor blocks it.
Billy Joe Taylor goes for a piledriver, but Desperado counters it with
a backdrop.
Desperado goes for a gutwrench suplex, but Billy Joe Taylor blocks it.
Billy Joe Taylor nails him with an armbar submission.
Desperado manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds.
Desperado goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Billy Joe Taylor counters it with
an enzuilariato.
Billy Joe Taylor takes him down with an octopus hold.
Desperado manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds.]

VM: Those submission holds aren't having quite the same effect as
before.  Desperado is able to get out of them pretty quickly.

[Billy Joe Taylor nails him with a sleeperhold.
Desperado reaches the ropes after being trapped for 12 seconds.]

JV: Billy Joe is pretty good at applying that sleeper though.  He
should've known better not to be so close to the ropes when he applied it
though.

[Billy Joe Taylor takes him down with a powerslam.
Scott Thomas counts: One, two, kickout.]

VM: The Powerslam only gets a two.

[Billy Joe Taylor goes for a savate kick, but Desperado counters it with
a duck-down move.
Desperado goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Billy Joe Taylor counters it with
an enzuilariato.
In turn, Desperado counters it with a duck-down move.]

VM: Double counter there.

[Desperado goes for a powerslam, but Billy Joe Taylor counters it with a lariat.
Desperado shoves him into the referee.
He goes for the pin.
Scott Thomas counts: One, two, three.]

VM: Both Scott and Billy go down thanks to Desperado.  Lucky for him,
Scott wasn't hurt and was able to count.

[Scott Thomas counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, Billy Joe Taylor
gets back to his feet, and apologizes to Scott Thomas.]

JV: Hey redneck!  There's a match going on.

[Desperado goes for a gutwrench suplex, but Billy Joe Taylor blocks it.
Billy Joe Taylor goes for a bridging back suplex, but Desperado
counters it with a headlock takedown.
Desperado executes the Desperate Measures and goes for the pin.
Scott Thomas counts: One, two, three.]

VM: There's that choke/brainbuster he used so many times on Aires last
week.

[Scott Thomas counts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight,
nine, ten.]

VM: That's it!  Billy Joe is out cold.

[Roadies come in to unhandcuff Desperado.]

EH:  The winner is Desperado, in a time of 12:34.

VM: Well Desperado will advance to the semi's where he'll face, dear God
no!

JV: Oh yes!  Next week, we'll see Desperado and Aires, again in the
semi's!  We knew there'd eventually be a rematch, but Who would've
thought it be this soon.

VM: Well we are out of time, we'll see you next week, for the conclusion
of the tough man title tournament.

<fade to black>
























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