<"Rock & Roll Part 2" By Gary Glitter starts to play as the screen fades up to several shots of the last SWF Slaughterhouse, then fades to an aerial shot of The Mall in Washington, D.C. A wrestling ring is setup in between the Washington Monument and the reflecting pool. Thousands of fans are crowded around the ring cheering wildly. The screen then fades to a shot of Vance McMihn and Johnny "The Muscle" Ventures.> VM: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another exciting edition of SWF Slaughterhouse!! We are broadcasting live from The Mall in Washington, D.C. JV: I think there are more people here for this than there were for the Million Man March! VM: I sincerely doubt that. While we do have a huge crowd, I doubt we have that many people. JV: It's true! I just asked one of the park rangers and he said that he estimated about 2 million people here. We doubled the draw of Farrakhan!! VM: Well all these people must be here because of our jam packed action filled card. Tonight, We'll see the debut of Ronnie "Rols Royce" Martin and Deaf Leopard as they meet in a Caged Singapore Cane Death match. Also making their Slaughterhouse debut, two guys who spent a short time in the UEA before it shut down. I'm talking about none other than Jesse Aires and Desperado as they'll go head to head in a Leather Strap four corners match. JV: Plus we got two men who think they're the Hardcore king. "Paralyzer" Patrick Bordeau faces "Hardcore" Billy Talent in a stretcher match. VM: And in our main event, we'll see the SWF World Champion Jagged Edge take on Sandman in a U.S. Capitol Death Match!! JV: I still don't see how that punk won. Doug Bacon was by far the better wrestler. VM: And we'll have a very special announcement from Booker Brian Frenck! JV: I usually don't care for these management types, but I gotta admit, Frenck did a good job putting together Slaughterhouse. Of course he couldn't fail when he hired the best commentator in the business. VM: Why thank you Johnny. JV: I ain't talking about you McMihn. I was referring to me! VM: A bit egotistical aren't you? JV: Hey, I know what Frenck is gonna tell us tonight. Do you? VM: Um, no. It's time for our first match. Let's go to our special guest ring announcer, here is the Mayor of Washington, D.C..... JV: Former crack addict and ex-convict. VM: STOP IT! JV: Well it's true. VM: Please welcome Mayor Marion Barry!! VM: The fans don't seem to care too much for Mayor Marion Barry. JV: Can you blame them? He's made the capitol of the best country in the world the biggest cesspool in the world. This place is the murder capitol of the world, it has gang wars, addicts left and right, tons of homeless people and the most potholes. All because of this guy. VM: They could've just elected someone else. JV: They did while he was off in jail for his drug possession, but when he got released, he ran again and somehow won. Can't believe people were stupid enough to vote for him. VM: Well it looks like Barry is done flipping off the crowd and ready to speak. MB: Ok, listen up. This first match is a no-DQ, no-countout, no time limit Steel Cage, Singapore Cane Death Match. Introducing first, from Sheffield, England, weighing in at 220 pounds, here is Deaf Leopard!! <"Rock of Ages" By Def Leppard blares out of the speakers. The crowd gives a mixed reaction as Deaf Leopard makes his way to the ring. He is carrying an electric guitar and pretends to play the music.> MB: His opponent, from Indianapolis, Indiana, weighing in at 234 pounds, here is Ronnie "Rols Royce" Martin!! <"The Glamour Boys" by Living Colour plays as Ronnie Martin struts down to the ring smugly. The crowd boos because of snobby stuck up behavior.> VM: Ronnie Martin seems to be a bit on the arrogant side. JV: Hey, as long as you can back up that arrogance in the ring, it doesn't matter. VM: But we haven't even seen him wrestle. JV: Don't worry, he'll win tonight. VM: Well I don't mean any disrespect to Deaf Leopard, but Ronnie doesn't exactly have stiff competition tonight. Well both men are in the cage and the bell has rung. [They lock up. Ronnie Martin rakes Deaf Leopard's face across the cage. Deaf Leopard is busted wide open.] VM: And Deaf Leopard starts to bleed right off the back. JV: What did I tell you? Martin knows what he's doing. [Ronnie Martin nails him with an enzuigiri. Ronnie Martin goes for the Rocker Dropper, but Deaf Leopard counters it with a legsweep. Deaf Leopard air guitars.] VM: Deaf Leopard doing a little air guitaring after his one successful move. JV: And you said Ronnie was arrogant. [Deaf Leopard takes him down with a legsweep. Deaf Leopard scrapes Ronnie Martin's face across the cage. Deaf Leopard nails him with a football tackle.] VM: Deaf Leopard seems to be in control now! JV: Ronnie is just letting him get overconfident. [Deaf Leopard nails him with a fisherman suplex. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, kickout.] VM: Well Ronnie better rethink his strategy as he was almost pinned there. [Deaf Leopard executes a short clothesline. Ronnie Martin begs off.] VM: And Deaf Leopard has Martin begging for mercy. JV: Could I have been wrong about this guy? [Deaf Leopard runs into the ropes. Deaf Leopard hits Ronnie Martin with a clothesline. Deaf Leopard goes for a forearm to the back, but Ronnie Martin counters it with a side step. Ronnie Martin catches him in a Northern Lights suplex.] Scott Thomas counts: One, kickout.] VM: And finally some offense from Martin but only gets a one count. [Ronnie Martin whips Deaf Leopard into the ropes, but Deaf Leopard reverses it. Ronnie Martin goes for flying headscissors, but Deaf Leopard counters it with a throw-off. Ronnie Martin hits Scott Thomas.] VM: Oh no! Deaf Leopard threw Ronnie right into referee Scott Thomas! JV: Deaf Leopard did that on purpose! He should be disqualified! [Deaf Leopard takes him down with a short clothesline. Deaf Leopard executes a Gorilla Press. Deaf Leopard hits him with the Singapore cane.] VM: And finally the Singapore cane comes into play. Though I'm sure Ronnie Martin wishes it hadn't. [Deaf Leopard grinds Ronnie Martin's face across the cage. Deaf Leopard is bleeding like a faucet. Deaf Leopard takes him down with an inverted power bomb.] VM: Despite the blood loss from the cut he got at the beginning of the match, Deaf Leopard is in control. [Deaf Leopard is going for the pin. There is no referee to count.] VM: Ronnie is lucky Scott Thomas hasn't gotten back up yet. JV: What difference would it have made? Ronnie would've been able to kick out of that easily. [Deaf Leopard goes for a diving headbutt, but Ronnie Martin counters it with a roll away. Scott Thomas is back on the job.] VM: Ronnie was playing possum and Deaf Leopard hit that mat head first hard. And now referee Scott Thomas is back. [Ronnie Martin grinds Deaf Leopard's face across the cage. Ronnie Martin executes a DDT. Ronnie Martin whips Deaf Leopard into the ropes.] JV: Notice Ronnie's intelligence? He's smart to know that he can use that cage to his advantage. [Deaf Leopard hits Ronnie Martin with a shoulderblock. Deaf Leopard nails him with a legsweep. Ronnie Martin begs off.] VM: But even with the cage, Deaf Leopard is in charge again. [Deaf Leopard takes him down with a football tackle. Deaf Leopard takes him down with neck-scissors. Deaf Leopard nails him with an earringer. Deaf Leopard executes an earringer.] JV: Of course Deaf Leopard's ultimate earringer is when he plugs his guitar into an amp and tries to play. VM: I've heard Deaf Leopard play, and while I don't care for Heavy Metal, he is a very talented guitar player. JV: Then why is wrestling and not in some band? VM: The money's better in wrestling? [Deaf Leopard scrapes Ronnie Martin's face across the cage. Deaf Leopard executes a jack-knife power bomb. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, kickout.] VM: Huge jack-knife there but Ronnie was still able to kickout. [Ronnie Martin begs off. Deaf Leopard goes for a forearm to the back, but Ronnie Martin counters it with a side step. Ronnie Martin grinds Deaf Leopard's face across the cage.] JV: Did ya see that McMihn? That bit of time Ronnie bought by begging off was enough for him to turn the tide and give Deaf Leopard another taste of steel. [Ronnie Martin goes for the Stinger Splash, but Deaf Leopard counters it with a side step. Ronnie Martin catches him in a Northern Lights suplex. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, kickout.] JV: And he didn't lose focus when he missed that Stinger Splash. He just turned around him and caught him in that Northern Lights Suplex. [Ronnie Martin poses for the crowd which boos him loudly, then yells "Shut up!".] VM: The fans don't seem to be impressed with Martin's physique. JV: I don't see why? While he doesn't have huge muscles like me, he is nicely cut. [Ronnie Martin nails him with the Stinger Splash. Ronnie Martin executes a springboard rana. Ronnie Martin nails him with the Stinger Splash.] VM: Ronnie appears to like that Stinger Splash. [Ronnie Martin is going for the pin. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, kickout.] JV: And Ronnie pulls Deaf Leopard up. VM: I beg your pardon! He did no such thing. Deaf Leopard kicked out of that. [Ronnie Martin takes him down with an Asai moonsault. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, shoulder up.] JV: So I suppose there you think Deaf Leopard got his shoulder up on his own? VM: That is exactly what happened. [Ronnie Martin hits him with the Singapore cane. Ronnie Martin whips Deaf Leopard into the turnbuckle. Ronnie Martin runs shoulder-first into the corner. Ronnie Martin takes him down with flying headscissors.] VM: Ronnie whacks Deaf Leopard on the back with the cane, and then nails him with the flying headscissors. [Ronnie Martin runs into the ropes. Ronnie Martin goes for a Samoan Drop, but Deaf Leopard counters it with an elbowsmash. Deaf Leopard catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Scott Thomas counts: One, shoulder up.] VM: Deaf Leopard trying to get a little momentum going but Ronnie was able to get his shoulder up almost immediately. [Deaf Leopard goes for a fallaway slam, but Ronnie Martin counters it with a forearm smash. Ronnie Martin climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Deaf Leopard throws him to the mat.] VM: Ronnie went for a high risk top-rope maneuver but got caught and was thrown to the mat hard. And Deaf Leopard is picking up the cane again. [Deaf Leopard hits him with the Singapore cane.] VM: Right across the knee! JV: I gotta give some credit to Deaf Leopard there. He knows that if he injures that knee badly enough, Ronnie won't be able to hit that superkick finisher of his. [Deaf Leopard goes for a fisherman suplex, but Ronnie Martin counters it with a small package. Scott Thomas counts: One, two... Deaf Leopard reverses it. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, shoulder up.] VM: And both men get near falls with that small package there. JV: I think Scott Thomas kinda hesitated counting to three. This match should be over. VM: So do I. Deaf Leopard obviously had Martin pinned for the three there. JV: No you idiot. I mean Martin had Deaf Leopard pinned for the three count. [Deaf Leopard runs into the ropes. Deaf Leopard hits Ronnie Martin with a shoulderblock. Deaf Leopard whips Ronnie Martin into the ropes, but Ronnie Martin reverses it. Ronnie Martin takes him down with flying headscissors.] VM: Whoa! Deaf Leopard wasn't expecting that! JV: That was one of the best flying headscissors I've ever seen executed. Didn't I tell you this Martin guy was good? VM: You were beginning to doubt yourself a few minutes ago when Deaf Leopard was taking it to Martin. JV: I don't remember that. [Ronnie Martin takes him down with an Asai moonsault. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, shoulder up.] VM: Ronnie almost got the win there. But Deaf Leopard was able to get his shoulder up in time. [Ronnie Martin executes a double underhook piledriver. Ronnie Martin goes for a double underhook piledriver, but Deaf Leopard blocks it.] VM: Ronnie went to the well one to many times there. JV: Yeah, but I'm willing to bet that Deaf Leopard won't be able to take advantage. [Deaf Leopard goes for a crotch slam, but Ronnie Martin counters it with a backward kick. Ronnie Martin executes the Perfect 10 and goes for the pin. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, three.] JV: What did I tell ya? VM: Ronnie pulled that superkick out of nowhere. Deaf Leopard has to get up before the count of ten but he is out cold! [Scott Thomas counts: one, two, three,] JV: Hurry up Scott, we all know Ronnie won. [four, five, six, seven, eight,] VM: I have to agree with you there. Deaf Leopard is still flat on his back. [nine, ten.] VM: And that's all she wrote. While Deaf leopard did put up a good fight, Ronnie just had to much skill and power and was able to win it. MB: The winner is Ronnie "Rols Royce" Martin in a time of 6:41. VM: Well next up we have a match between two individuals that have very similar backgrounds. JV: They both have the southwest theme going for them and plus they both spent a short time in the now defunct UEA. VM: Well let's go to Marion Barry for the next match. MB: This next match is a no-DQ, no-countout, no time limit, leather strap four corners match. The only way to win is to hit all four turnbuckles in succession. Now introducing first, being led to the ring by Sean O'Brien... JV: Better known as Red Raven. MB: From Amarillo, Texas, weighing in at 270 pounds, here is Desperado!! <"American Pie" by Don McLean starts to play as the two men make their way to the ring. The crowd boos as Desperado yells at the crowd and makes rude gestures.> VM: Desperado definitely not going after the crowd support. JV: I would've though Desperado would've used "Desperado" by the Eagles as his entrance music. MB: And his opponent, from somewhere in the American Southwest, weighing in at 237 pounds, here is Jesse Aires!! <"Where Ever I May Roam" by Metallica blares as Jesse Aires walks down to the ring focused. The crowd mainly cheers for him because of his opponent.> VM: Both men are in the ring and getting ready for the match. JV: Despite that this card is Undergroundless, I think it's still gonna be a great card with match ups like these. VM: Marion Barry has left the ring and the bell has rung. [They lock up. Jesse Aires throws Desperado out of the ring. Jesse Aires goes through the ropes.] VM: And Jesse Aires taking things to the outside right off the top. JV: You know, for two men that don't know each other, they seem to have a lot of anger directed at one another. [Jesse Aires whips him with the Strap. Jesse Aires reenters the ring. Desperado follows him back in.] JV: You know Aires, you could've whipped him inside the ring too. [Jesse Aires hits him with the Strap. Jesse Aires executes a piledriver. Desperado throws Jesse Aires out of the ring. Desperado goes through the ropes.] VM: And now Desperado takes things to the outside. [They're brawling on the ground. Desperado goes for a gutwrench suplex, but Jesse Aires blocks it. Jesse Aires reenters the ring. Desperado follows him back in.] JV: Ugh! Enough with this violence foreplay. If you're not gonna get hardcore, don't go outside of the ring. [Jesse Aires whips him with the Strap. Jesse Aires takes him down with a spinning mule kick. Desperado nails him with a thrust kick to the head. Desperado executes a stomp.] VM: Desperado was unphased by that mule kick. He kicks Aires in the head then stomps on his forehead. JV: Looks like he's gonna go for the turnbuckles. [Desperado hits turnbuckle number one. Desperado hits turnbuckle number two.] VM: Aires is back on his feet now. [Desperado hits turnbuckle number three. Desperado tries to hit turnbuckle number four, but Jesse Aires is there before him.] JV: Smart move by Aires. The Leather strap was long enough for him to reach the 4th turnbuckle just as Despeardo tagged the third. [Jesse Aires hits turnbuckle number two. Jesse Aires tries to hit turnbuckle number three, but Desperado takes him down.] VM: And Desperado yanks hard on the strap and Aires hits the mat hard. [Desperado hits him with the Strap. Desperado tries to hit turnbuckle number one, but Jesse Aires is there before him.] VM: Desperado walked over to the first turnbuckle but Aires sprinted by him and tagged it first. JV: I'm surprised that these two guys are trying to end the match so soon. I would've thought they dish it out a little more. [Jesse Aires tries to hit turnbuckle number two, but Desperado takes him down.] VM: Desperado tackles Aires to prevent him from tagging the 2nd turnbuckle. [Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Desperado executes a thrust kick to the head. Desperado executes a powerslam.] VM: Desperado seems to have finally put an end to this back and forth action as he gets a series of moves in. [Desperado goes for a chokehold, but Jesse Aires blocks it. Jesse Aires takes him down with a spinning mule kick. Desperado takes him down with a chop. Desperado takes him down with a side suplex.] JV: That spinning mule kick just doesn't seem to be having much effect. [Jesse Aires catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Desperado goes for a short lariat, but Jesse Aires counters it with a duck-down move. Jesse Aires executes a jumping elbow thrust. Jesse Aires nails him with a snap suplex.] VM: And now Aires is in control. JV: It's still back and forth action. It just takes longer for it to go back and forth. VM: And now Aires has the strap wrapped around Desperado and has him on his shoulder and is going for the turnbuckles. [Jesse Aires hits turnbuckle number one. Jesse Aires takes him down with a snap mare. Jesse Aires nails him with a DDT.] JV: Smart move by Aires. Desperado started to get loose so he just nails him with a snap mare. No sense going for all four turnbuckles if you know you can't make it. [Jesse Aires chokes him with the Strap. Jesse Aires takes him down with an atomic drop. Jesse Aires goes for a bodyslam, but Desperado counters it with a small package.] VM: What good is a small package in a four corners match? JV: None really, but it did prevent Desperado from being body slammed. [Desperado executes a stomachbreaker. Desperado goes for a slap, but Jesse Aires reverses it. Jesse Aires goes for a back suplex, but Desperado blocks it. Desperado hits him with the Strap.] VM: Desperado wraps the strap around his fist and nails Jesse. [Desperado takes him down with the Doctor Bomb. Desperado goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Jesse Aires counters it with an enzuilariato.] VM: Desperado unable to execute that tilt-a-whirl suplex, even after that huge Doctor Bomb. [Jesse Aires chokes him with the Strap. Jesse Aires goes for a side suplex, but Desperado blocks it. Desperado executes a low blow.] JV: That's gotta hurt. [Desperado executes the Desperate Measures.] VM: And there's Desperado's finisher. That Choke/Brainbuster. JV: Definitely one of the more vicious finishers. VM: But surprisingly, Aires is back on his feet. [Jesse Aires goes for a gutwrench suplex, but Desperado blocks it. Desperado nails him with a thrust kick to the head. Desperado tries to hit turnbuckle number one, but Jesse Aires takes him down.] VM: Aires grabs onto Desperado's foot to prevent him from reaching the turnbuckle. [Jesse Aires goes for a gutwrench suplex, but Desperado blocks it. Desperado hits him with the Strap. Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.] JV: Despite the fact that Aires was able to stand up after the Desperate Measures is moot, since he hasn't been able to get any offense going since then. [Desperado hits turnbuckle number one. Desperado tries to hit turnbuckle number two, but Jesse Aires is in the way.] VM: Aires, standing a few feet in front of the 2nd turnbuckle stops Desperado. [Desperado throws Jesse Aires out of the ring. Desperado goes through the ropes.] JV: Desperado didn't care too much for Aires being in his way. Now the question is, will they go hardcore? [Desperado executes a short lariat. Sean O'Brien hands Desperado the Bullwhip with a cowbell. JV: And it looks like they are. VM: Desperado getting his hands on one of the more...interesting foreign objects. JV: Yeah I'm not sure I understand the purpose of the cowbell. [Desperado hits him with the Bullwhip with a cowbell. Desperado executes a DDT. Sean O'Brien comes from behind and distracts Jesse Aires. Desperado throws Jesse Aires back into the ring. Desperado brings the table into the ring.] VM: Looks like Desperado is going for something big. Jesse Aires goes for a short clothesline, but Desperado counters it with a duck-down move. Desperado sets up Jesse Aires on the table. Desperado executes the Desperate Measures through the table. The table is broken in half.] VM: Oh my!! Desperado just drove Aires through the table with that Desperate Measures. JV: That's the 2nd time Aires has gotten hit with the finisher too. [Desperado hits him with the Strap. Desperado goes for a facerake, but Jesse Aires blocks it. Jesse Aires chokes him with the Strap. Jesse Aires executes an armbar submission. Desperado manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 12 seconds.] VM: Aires again somehow managed to get back to his feet. JV: He's smartly going after submission holds which will give a chance to rest. [Jesse Aires executes a hiptoss. Jesse Aires chokes him with the Strap. Jesse Aires goes for a fistdrop, but Desperado counters it with a roll away. Desperado nails him with a chokehold. Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, three.] JV: So why does the ref count for the chokehold and not for the choke with the strap? VM: I'm sure Sean has his logic. BTW, that is one of our new referees, his last name is pronounced Sy-Ger-Smit. JV: He's got a funky spelling. [Desperado tries to hit turnbuckle number one, but Jesse Aires is there before him.] VM: Again, Desperado casually walks over to the turnbuckle only to have Aires run by him and tag it first. [Jesse Aires tries to hit turnbuckle number two, but Desperado takes him down. Desperado takes him down with a full nelson.] VM: Desperado yanks on the leather strap and Aires staggers backwards into Desperado who catches him in a full nelson. [Desperado lets go after 14 seconds. Desperado nails him with a chokehold. Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, three, four, five.] JV: Then again what's the point of even counting the chokeholds if there aren't any DQ's? VM: Another good question. [Desperado chokes him with the Strap. Desperado places Jesse Aires on the turnbuckle. Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex.] VM: HUGE superplex there by Desperado. [Desperado whips him with the Strap. Desperado tries to hit turnbuckle number one, but Jesse Aires is in the way.] VM: Aires again able to get to his feet and block Desperado. [Desperado takes him down with a facebite. Desperado executes a facerake. Desperado executes a low blow.] JV: Desperado is getting frustrated that Aires keeps getting back up. [Desperado executes the Desperate Measures. Jesse Aires executes a snap suplex.] VM: Incredible!! Despite getting hit with the Desperate Measures for the third time, Aires somehow gets back to his feet and executes that snap suplex. JV: While I haven't been all that impressed with Aires offensive showing, I will say that he has an extremely high endurance. He takes a licking and keeps on ticking. [Jesse Aires throws Desperado out of the ring. Jesse Aires goes through the ropes. Jesse Aires hits him with the Strap. Jesse Aires hits him with the Strap. Jesse Aires whips Desperado into the guardrail. Jesse Aires takes him down with a piledriver.] VM: And Aires somehow has gotten a second wind. [Sean O'Brien comes from behind and distracts Jesse Aires. Sean O'Brien tosses Desperado a bottle. VM: And as Aires turns around, O'Brien lobs a bottle over him to Desperado. And now Aires is turning around to see what was thrown. [Desperado hits him with the bottle. Jesse Aires is busted wide open.] JV: Finally, after all the punishment Aires has taken, he starts to bleed. [Desperado catches him in a power bomb. Desperado sets up a table. Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex.] VM: And two big moves send Aires crashing to the ground. JV: And while the ground isn't as hard as the concrete we would have if we were indoors, it still is quite hard. [Desperado sets up Jesse Aires on the table. Desperado executes the Desperate Measures through the table. The table is broken in half.] JV: And that's the fourth Desperate Measure. VM; And the 2nd one through a table. [They're brawling on the ground. Desperado whips Jesse Aires into the guardrail. Desperado goes for the Desperate Measures, but Jesse Aires counters it with a facerake.] VM: Desperado went for his finisher one too many times as Aires was able to counter it. JV: Desperado seems to want to seriously injure Aires. [Jesse Aires whips him with the Strap. Jesse Aires takes him down with a snap suplex.] VM: And again, Jesse Aires is able to fight back. [Jesse Aires goes for a forearm smash, but Desperado blocks it. Desperado takes him down with a crotch slam. They're brawling on the ground Sean O'Brien hands Desperado the Bullwhip with a cowbell. Desperado hits him with the Bullwhip with a cowbell. Desperado hits him with the Bullwhip with a cowbell.] VM: And Desperado uses the Bullwhip with the cowbell again. [Desperado sets up a table. Desperado whips Jesse Aires into the guardrail. Desperado goes for a bodyslam, but Jesse Aires blocks it. Jesse Aires knocks Desperado into the ringpost. Sean O'Brien comes from behind and distracts Jesse Aires.] JV: O'Brien smartly distracts Aires as soon as he starts some offense again. [Desperado sets up Jesse Aires on the table. Desperado executes a power bomb through the table. The table is broken in half.] VM: And again Aires is driven through a table. JV: We've gone through more tables in this match than we did in the Table Death Match 2 weeks ago. [Desperado takes him down with a bodyslam. Sean O'Brien comes from behind, but Jesse Aires nails Sean O'Brien.] VM: And Aires finally had enough of O'Brien interfering and nailed him right in the kisser with a roundhouse right. [Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Desperado reenters the ring. Jesse Aires follows him back in. Desperado hits him with the Strap.] VM: And they finally head back into the ring. Desperado has Aires over his shoulder. JV: But Aires is squirming around. I don't know if he's gonna be able to hit all four turnbuckles. Desperado hits turnbuckle number one. Jesse Aires is bleeding like a faucet. Desperado takes him down with the Doctor Bomb.] VM: Desperado decided to try to do some more damage to Aires before going to all 4 turnbuckles. And he has him up on his shoulder again. JV: And Aires is still struggling to get off. [Desperado hits turnbuckle number one. Desperado takes him down with a stomachbreaker.] VM: So again Desperado decides to dish a little more hurt onto Aires. He's going for the turnbuckle again. this time he isn't carrying Aires. [Desperado tries to hit turnbuckle number one, but Jesse Aires is there before him.] VM: Aires got back on his feet and just mowed over Desperado and hit the first turnbuckle. [Jesse Aires executes a fistdrop. Jesse Aires flips his hair back and stares at his opponent. Jesse Aires goes for an atomic drop, but Desperado counters it with a bulldog headlock.] VM: Aires tried to get some offense going again, but was stopped short. JV: Aires has a lot of heart, but he's just taken way too much punishment. [Desperado chokes him with the Strap. Desperado hits turnbuckle number one. Desperado executes the Desperate Measures.] VM: And for the fifth time, Aires has been nailed with that choke/brainbuster. JV: And he staggers right back to his feet! [Jesse Aires takes him down with a forearm smash. Jesse Aires goes for a DDT, but Desperado counters it with a backdrop. In turn, Jesse Aires counters it with a sunset flip. Jesse Aires nails him with an elbowsmash.] VM: And incredibly, Aires still has some fight in him. [Jesse Aires goes for a forearm smash, but Desperado blocks it. Desperado goes for a power bomb, but Jesse Aires blocks it. Jesse Aires takes him down with a piledriver. Jesse Aires takes him down with an atomic drop.] JV: This is really incredible. With all the punishment Aires has taken, he still has the ability to fight back. This guy must be taking some drugs or something. [Jesse Aires goes for a thrust kick to the head, but Desperado counters it with a duck-down move. Desperado takes him down with a faceslam. Desperado hits him with the Strap.] VM: And it looks like Aires has run out of steam. [Jesse Aires is bleeding like hell. Jesse Aires hits him with an elbow thrust to the nose. Jesse Aires executes the Badlands.] VM: Out of desperation, Aires hits Desperado square in the nose with that elbow thrust. And as soon as Desperado turned around in pain, Aires hit him with that diving full nelson. JV: The Badlands is the same move that IWAWWW Cruiserweight champ and HOWF star Raider used for his finisher, only he called it the Earthquake. VM: And no offense to Aires, but I think Raider performed it better too. JV: Well Aires is taking a licking in this match. After all he's been through, you gotta expect his moves to a little on the sloppy side. [Jesse Aires nails him with an atomic drop. Jesse Aires chokes him with the Strap. Jesse Aires goes for a jumping elbow thrust, but Desperado counters it with a duck-down move.] VM: And Desperado manages to avoid that move by Aires, now can he capitalize on that miss? [Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Desperado takes him down with a stomp.] VM: He certainly can. He comes back with a pair of belly-to-belly suplexes and a stomp. [Jesse Aires is bleeding profusely. Desperado goes for a full nelson, but Jesse Aires blocks it. Jesse Aires executes a DDT.] VM: And Aires pulls that DDT out of nowhere!! [Jesse Aires flips his hair back and stares at his opponent. Jesse Aires executes a camel clutch. Desperado manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 6 seconds.] JV: Aires just doesn't have the strength to keep those submission holds on. [Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Desperado tries to hit turnbuckle number one, but Jesse Aires is in the way. Desperado places Jesse Aires on the turnbuckle.] JV: Well that's one way to get your opponent out of the way. [Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex. Desperado hits him with the Strap. Desperado takes him down with a chop.] VM: And even after that superplex, Aires again manages to stagger to his feet. [Desperado takes him down with a vertical suplex. Desperado nails him with a chop. Desperado whips Jesse Aires into the turnbuckle. Jesse Aires bumps into Sean Ceigersmidt.] VM: Ceigersmidt in the wrong place at the wrong time as Aires gets thrown into him. [Desperado takes him down with a choke against the ropes. Desperado attempts to place Jesse Aires on the turnbuckle, but Jesse Aires blocks it. Sean Ceigersmidt is back on the job.] JV: I'm impressed! A referee that actually gets back up pretty quickly. [Desperado executes a fist to the midsection. Desperado nails him with a stomachbreaker. Desperado whips him with the Strap. Desperado whips Jesse Aires into the turnbuckle.] VM: And Desperado continues to wail away on Aires. JV: I think Desperado wants to end Aires career. [Desperado nails him with the Doctor Bomb. Desperado executes the Desperate Measures. Desperado executes a chop.] VM: Even after 6 Desperate Measures, Aires still has enough in him to get back on his feet. [Jesse Aires executes a thrust kick to the head. Jesse Aires whips him with the Strap. Jesse Aires executes the Badlands.] JV: I think Aires should start doing Energizer commercials, because he just keeps going and going. VM: Or Timex, takes a licking and keeps on ticking. JV; They don't use that slogan anymore. [Jesse Aires executes an armbar submission. Desperado reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Jesse Aires goes for a back suplex, but Desperado counters it with a cross-body block.] JV: Aires didn't have enough in him to pull off that back suplex and Desperado took advantage. [Desperado hits him with the Strap. Desperado whips him with the Strap. Jesse Aires hits him with an elbow thrust to the nose. Jesse Aires executes the Badlands.] VM: And out of nowhere again, Aires hits Desperado with that diving full nelson. JV: And both men are down. This has been a brutal match and has taken it's toll on both of them. VM: And Aires is the first one back on his feet. [Jesse Aires executes a piledriver. Jesse Aires goes for a short lariat, but Desperado counters it with a duck-down move. Desperado goes for a ropeburn, but Jesse Aires blocks it. Jesse Aires takes him down with a piledriver.] VM: And Aires executes another piledriver. [Jesse Aires whips Desperado into the turnbuckle, but Desperado reverses it. Desperado executes a short lariat. Desperado chokes him with the Strap. Desperado takes him down with a stomp. Desperado takes him down with a choke against the ropes. Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, three.] VM: Desperado, being the fresher of the two men... JV: But he's still not all that fresh. VM: Is back in control. [Desperado executes a gutwrench suplex.] VM: Desperado is staggering over to the turnbuckle. [Desperado hits turnbuckle number one.] JV: And Aires is staggering back to his feet. [Desperado hits turnbuckle number two.] VM: Both men are headed for the third turnbuckle now. [Desperado nails him with a chop. Desperado takes him down with a short lariat. Desperado goes for a slap, but Jesse Aires reverses it. Jesse Aires hits him with the Strap. Jesse Aires executes a spinning mule kick.] VM: Both men are battling back and fourth. JV: Yeah but those moves don't have much force behind them. Both men are just exhausted. [Jesse Aires executes a bodyslam. Sean O'Brien enters the ring and hits Jesse Aires with the Laptop Computer. Jesse Aires is out cold.] VM: Oh my! O'Brien got up on the apron and just whacked Aires in the back of the head with the computer!! JV: Some people hit their computer when it acts up, apparently Sean hits something with his computer when his computer acts up. [Desperado throws Jesse Aires out of the ring. Desperado goes through the ropes. Desperado goes for a bodyslam, but Jesse Aires blocks it. Jesse Aires whips him with the Strap.] VM: And amazingly enough Aires regains consciousness and whips Desperado with the strap. [Jesse Aires hits him with the Strap. Jesse Aires takes him down with a dropkick. Jesse Aires whips him with the Strap. Jesse Aires whips Desperado into the guardrail. Jesse Aires executes a thrust kick to the head. Sean O'Brien comes from behind and distracts Jesse Aires. They're brawling on the ground. Desperado executes a spinebuster slam.] JV: I think both men have forgotten that they're in a match. [Desperado reenters the ring. Jesse Aires follows him back in. Desperado catches him in a power bomb. Desperado whips him with the Strap. Desperado gives the sign for the Desperate Measures. Desperado executes the Desperate Measures.] VM: That's Desperate Measure #7. JV: And again Aires is back on his feet, but barely has the strength to stand. [Jesse Aires goes for a spinning mule kick, but Desperado blocks it. Desperado executes a stomachbreaker. Desperado goes for a short lariat, but Jesse Aires counters it with a duck-down move.] VM: And Aires struggling to get back to his feet after ducking. [Desperado goes for a facebite, but Jesse Aires counters it with a kneelift. Sean O'Brien enters the ring and hits Jesse Aires with the Laptop Computer.] VM: And again O'Brien hits Aires in the head with the computer. [Desperado goes for a powerslam, but Jesse Aires counters it with a lariat. Jesse Aires executes the Badlands.] JV: And somehow Aires is again able to get back on his feet and he hits his finisher again. [Jesse Aires nails him with a waistlock suplex. Jesse Aires takes him down with a hiptoss. Jesse Aires takes him down with a fistdrop. Jesse Aires executes a piledriver.] VM: And Aires getting that 2nd wind. JV: More like a 15th wind. [Jesse Aires flips his hair back and stares at his opponent. Jesse Aires whips Desperado into the turnbuckle. Jesse Aires takes him down with a short lariat. Jesse Aires nails him with a back suplex.] VM: And Aires is just all over Desperado. JV: And like I said, both men are just oblivious to the fact that this is a wrestling match. They're battling it out until one of them can no longer move. [Jesse Aires nails him with an elbowdrop. Jesse Aires chokes him with the Strap. Jesse Aires goes for a kick to the midsection, but Desperado blocks it. Desperado places Jesse Aires on the turnbuckle. Desperado catches him in a belly-to-belly superplex. Desperado nails him with a low blow. Desperado executes the Desperate Measures.] JV: Desperate Measure #8 and Aires again staggers back to his feet. VM: I know Booker Frenck tried to put together the most extreme wrestling show in history, but someone has gotta stop this match before one or both men are seriously injured. [Desperado goes for a slap, but Jesse Aires reverses it. Jesse Aires hits him with the Strap. Jesse Aires goes for a spinning mule kick, but Desperado counters it with a duck-down move.] VM: Aires no longer able to stand on his own power staggers back into the corner. JV: That's a mistake. Can Desperado take advantage of it? [Desperado executes a Vader attack. Desperado goes for a facebite, but Jesse Aires counters it with a kneelift. Desperado whips Jesse Aires into the turnbuckle, but Jesse Aires reverses it. Jesse Aires takes him down with a kick to the midsection.] VM: And more back and forth action as both men are on the edge of collapsing. [Jesse Aires nails him with a bodyslam. Desperado goes for the Doctor Bomb, but Jesse Aires counters it with a backdrop. Jesse Aires catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Jesse Aires chokes him with the Strap.] VM: And Aires trying to choke Desperado to death. [Jesse Aires executes a camel clutch. Desperado reaches the ropes after being trapped for 14 seconds. Desperado executes a choke against the ropes. Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, three, four.] VM: Desperado finally reaches the ropes and then uses them to choke Aires. [Desperado takes him down with a ropeburn. Desperado takes him down with a powerslam. Desperado yells "You... are all... pitiful... excuses... for human... beings!".] JV: Desperado barely has enough strength to yell at the crowd. [Desperado takes him down with a bodyslam. Desperado goes for a thrust kick to the head, but Jesse Aires counters it with a duck-down move. Jesse Aires takes him down with a short clothesline. Jesse Aires executes the Badlands.] VM: And again Aires manages to execute the Badlands. JV: So far the score is 8 to 6. VM: Score? JV; Desperado has executed his finisher 8 times and Aires has 6 times. [Jesse Aires takes him down with a piledriver. Jesse Aires goes for a back suplex, but Desperado counters it with a cross-body block. Jesse Aires hits him with an elbow thrust to the nose. Jesse Aires executes the Badlands.] JV: 8-7. [Jesse Aires nails him with a DDT. Jesse Aires hits him with the Strap. Jesse Aires throws Desperado out of the ring. Jesse Aires jumps onto him with a jumping elbow thrust from the apron.] VM: Aires jumping off the apron hits Desperado right in the head. [Jesse Aires nails him with an elbowsmash. They're brawling on the ground. Jesse Aires takes him down with a bodyslam. Jesse Aires hits him with the Strap. They're brawling on the ground.] VM: Both men rolling around in the dirt. JV: I guess you can say that they're dirty fighters! Hah! VM: Bad joke Johnny. [Jesse Aires goes for a DDT, but Desperado counters it with a backdrop. Desperado executes the Desperate Measures on the ground. Jesse Aires is out cold.] VM: And the ninth Desperate measure knocks Aires unconscious again. And he's going over to the time keepers table. JV; It's one of the few tables left. [Desperado sets up a table. Desperado sets up Jesse Aires on the table. Desperado executes a power bomb through the table. The table didn't break.] VM: A very weak powerbomb. JV: Well both men have taken each other to hell and back. Neither have much strength left as was evident by that powerbomb which didn't even break the table. [Desperado hits him with the Strap. Desperado throws Jesse Aires back into the ring. Desperado tries to hit turnbuckle number one, but Jesse Aires takes him down.] VM: I don't think Desperado even realized that Jesse had regained consciousness. [Jesse Aires throws Desperado out of the ring. Jesse Aires jumps onto him with a jumping elbow thrust from the apron. Jesse Aires whips Desperado into the guardrail. Jesse Aires knocks Desperado into the ringsteps. Desperado is busted wide open.] VM: And now blood is pouring from Desperado. JV: But Aires blood loss is far more serious. He's been bleeding for over twenty minutes now. [Jesse Aires knocks Desperado into the ringsteps. Sean O'Brien comes from behind, but Jesse Aires nails Sean O'Brien. Desperado executes the Desperate Measures on the ground. Jesse Aires is out cold.] VM: And again Aires is knocked unconscious. This is very serious. Ceigersmidt should stop this match. Aires could be suffering from brain damage now. JV: I think a record has been set. Desperado has executed his finisher 10 times in this match. [Desperado chokes him with the Strap. Desperado takes him down with a short lariat. Desperado sets up Jesse Aires on the table. Desperado tries to desperate measures Jesse Aires through the table, but he moves out of the way. The table is broken in half.] VM: And Aires more or less just fell out of the way and Desperado hit the table hard. JV: Hard enough for it to break in half. VM: Both men are down. JV: Ceigersmidt doesn't know what to do. Both men are laying on the ground barely moving. VM: This is exactly why this match should be stopped. Both men are risking their careers in this match. JV: Both men are starting to get back on their feet now. [Jesse Aires whips him with the Strap. Jesse Aires whips Desperado into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. Desperado knocks Jesse Aires into the ringsteps. Desperado whips Jesse Aires into the guardrail.] VM: Aires hit that guardrail hard. And it looks like Desperado is setting up to execute his finisher once again. [Desperado executes the Desperate Measures on the ground. They're brawling inside the ring area. Desperado chokes him with the Strap. Desperado whips Jesse Aires into the guardrail.] VM: Desperate measure #11 and then Desperado rams Aires head first into the guardrail. [Sean O'Brien comes from behind and distracts Jesse Aires. Desperado whips him with the Strap. They're brawling inside the ring area. Desperado whips Jesse Aires into the guardrail. Desperado nails him with a facerake. Desperado whips him with the Strap.] VM: And Desperado is just out to kill Aires. JV: It really is amazing how these two guys who have never even met each other before are just out to end each others career. [Desperado whips Jesse Aires into the guardrail. Desperado knocks Jesse Aires into the ringsteps. Desperado chokes him with the Strap.] JV: Desperado is just using everything possible as a weapon. [Desperado catches him in a power bomb. Desperado executes the Desperate Measures on the ground.] VM: And another Desperate Measure!!!! Now Desperado is going over to the Spanish broadcasters table. JV: It's the only table left in the ring area. All the other ones have been destroyed. Victor Machismo and Jose Venturo: Aye Caramba! [Desperado sets up a table. Desperado takes him down with a side suplex. Desperado sets up Jesse Aires on the table. Desperado executes a power bomb through the table. The table didn't break.] VM: And again Desperado didn't have enough energy to properly execute that powerbomb. [Desperado goes for a short lariat, but Jesse Aires counters it with a duck-down move. Jesse Aires goes for an armbar submission, but Desperado blocks it. Desperado sets up Jesse Aires on the table. Desperado tries to desperate measures Jesse Aires through the table, but he moves out of the way. The table is broken in half.] VM: Aires was lucky he was able to get out of that move in time. I don't think he can stand to many more blows to the head. JV: Yeah but Desperado hit the table hard. And the last remaining table in the ring area has been broken. [Jesse Aires whips him with the Strap. Jesse Aires whips Desperado into the guardrail. Jesse Aires nails him with a snap mare. Jesse Aires flips his hair back and stares at his opponent. Jesse Aires nails him with an elbowdrop.] VM: Jesse Aires able to get some offense going. JV: But look at the way he's staggering around. He can't even walk straight. He's hurt bad. [Jesse Aires executes an atomic drop. Sean O'Brien comes from behind, but Jesse Aires nails Sean O'Brien. Desperado reenters the ring. Jesse Aires follows him back in. Jesse Aires is bleeding like a faucet. Desperado throws Jesse Aires out of the ring. Desperado goes through the ropes.] VM: And they re-enter the ring only to take it back outside. JV: I'd say they have spent as much time outside the ring as they have inside the ring. [Desperado nails him with a side suplex. Desperado whips Jesse Aires into the guardrail. Sean O'Brien comes from behind and distracts Jesse Aires. Desperado grabs an umbrella from a fan.] VM: And now Desperado is stealing things from the fans to use as weapons. JV: Hey if you can use it, use it. [Desperado hits him with the umbrella. They're brawling inside the ring area. Jesse Aires whips Desperado into the guardrail. Sean O'Brien comes from behind, but Jesse Aires nails Sean O'Brien.] VM: Desperado hit hard!! He is still on the ground. O'Brien tried to buy him some time but it's not enough. [They're brawling on the ground. Jesse Aires knocks Desperado into the ringsteps. Jesse Aires executes a forearm smash. Jesse Aires knocks Desperado into the ringpost. Jesse Aires chokes him with the Strap.] JV: Aires was choking him there for almost thirty seconds!!!! [Jesse Aires reenters the ring. Desperado follows him back in. Desperado is bleeding like hell. Jesse Aires is bleeding like a faucet.] VM: Both men are just completely covered in blood! [Jesse Aires takes him down with a snap suplex.] VM: And Aires hits that snap suplex, and both men are down. JV: Unfortunately those suplexes hurt the person executing them as well. VM: Both men are still down. JV: And Ceigersmidt is calmly standing in the corner waiting for one of them to stand up. VM: This is serious. neither men are moving! JV: They're still breathing so they're ok. VM: That just means that they're still alive. It doesn't mean that they're ok. JV: Here ya go. Aires is finally trying to get to his feet. VM: Aires using the ropes to pull himself up. he can't even walk! he's pulling himself along the ropes. [Jesse Aires hits turnbuckle number one. Jesse Aires hits turnbuckle number two.] VM: And Jesse Aires has just collapsed again!! JV: He's back on his knees and trying to crawl to the next turnbuckle. [Jesse Aires hits turnbuckle number three.] VM: Desperado is trying to get back to his feet now. JV: It looks like both men are going to get there at the same time! [Jesse Aires dives and hits turnbuckle number four.] VM: And Aires has hit the fourth turnbuckle!! This brutal match is finally over. JV: And both men have collapsed in the ring. Ceigersmidt is calling for the paramedics. MB: The winner of this match, in a time of 35:36 is Jesse Aires!! [The crowd is silent. Eight paramedics carrying two stretchers run down to the ring. Sean O'Brien is huddling over Desperado.] VM: We can only hope that neither of these men sustained any career ending injuries. [The paramedics put both Jesse Aires and Desperado onto the stretchers and carry them back to the ambulances. The two men are put in separate ambulances.] VM: I've been told that both men are being taken to D.C. General Hospital. We'll try to update you as to their condition through out the program. We're now gonna take you to Dean Oberman who is standing in the ring. [Cut to a shot of a short bald guy wearing a tuxedo standing in the middle of the ring. All around him roadies are trying to mop up the blood and remove all the broken tables.] DO: Thank you Vance. It is my pleasure to introduce to you, the man behind this carnage that you are watching tonight, Booker Brian Frenck!! ["Cities On Flame with Rock & Roll" by Blue Oyster Cult plays as Booker Brian Frenck walks down to the ring. He is wearing a Styx T-shirt.] DO: Welcome Mr. Frenck. Before we proceed with the announcement you wish to make tonight, your thoughts on the match that just took place. BF: Well it was a hell of a match. I never expected to be as brutal as it was. DO: Some people have said that this show is too violent and I'm sure they'll say that the match we just saw proves that. BF: I don't think this is anymore violent then most primetime police dramas. DO: But what about the risk you're putting these wrestlers in? BF: They know what they're getting into when they sign with the SWF. Now granted the Aires/Desperado match was extremely brutal, and I do hope that they'll both be ok, but hey, injuries are part of the sport. DO: All right. Now let's hear this big announcement. BF: Well as you know, a man by the name of Billy Joe Taylor recently signed with the SWF, as has Virgo. That brings us up to 15 superstars. Now I said as soon as I had 12 eligible wrestlers, the Tough Man Tourney would begin [Crowd starts to cheer] Well the ones that aren't eligible are The Vigilante since I am his financial manager, and the SWF Champion Jagged Edge. So that means we now have our twelve eligible wrestlers, and the Tourney will begin next week in Bloomington, Minnesota! [Crowd pops] DO: This is excellent news. So what format is the tournament gonna be in? BF: Well all matches, with the exception of the final match, will be a no-DQ, no-countout, no-timelimit random gimmick match. There will be 6 first round matches. the winners will proceed to the semi-final matches, which there are three of. Those three winners will meet in a special triangle elimination hardcore match that I have designed specifically for this tournament. Don't ask me to reveal the details of that match. I'm keeping it a secret until the match actually takes place. The first round matches will take place next saturday and the semi-finals and final match will be the week following, still in Minnesota. DO: So what is the lineup for the first round? BF: The first round matches are as follows. "Hardcore" Billy Talent vs. Moon Dog Gator; Doug "Beer Drinker" Bacon vs. "Paralyzer" Patrick Bordeau. Now in the event that Doug Bacon wins the World title this Tuesday, Jagged Edge will take his spot in the tourney. Sandman vs. Dr. Hate; Phoenix vs. Ronnie "Rols Royce" Martin; Jesse Aires vs. Mr. America; and Billy Joe Taylor vs. Desperado. DO: This is indeed very good news. Mr. Frenck, Thank you. Back to you Vance and Johnny! VM: Thank you Dean. Well that's great news. In just two weeks, the SWF will have it's first Tough Man Champ. JV: I want to know what this special final gimmick match that Frenck has lined up is. VM: I guess we'll just wait and see. Well the blood has been mopped up, and the broken tables have been hauled away and replaces with new ones. Let's go to our next match. MB: Boo all you want. I don't care. I know the majority of you guys are from MD or VA so you can't vote for me and I don't care what you think about me. Now, this next match is a stretcher match. Introducing first, being led to the ring by The Paramedic, from Sudbury, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 375 pounds, here is "Hardcore" Billy Talent!! <"Ready, Steady, Go!" by the Mieces blares as the two men make their way to the ring as the crowd boos heavily.> VM: The crowd not behind Billy as much as they were last time. JV: Well "Hardcore" didn't live up to his name 2 weeks ago, so I think he lost the fan support. MB: And his opponent, being led to the ring by his manager, and oh so fine wife, Carey Stone, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 243 pounds, here is "Paralyzer" Patrick Bordeau!! <"Poison" by The Prodigy blares as Bordeau heads to the ring with his wife. The crowd is booing although a few wolf whistles can be heard.> VM: Well we got two guys from Ontario battling it out. JV: Bordeau is giving up a lot of size to Talentless. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau attacks Hardcore Billy Talent before the bell. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the ropes. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits Hardcore Billy Talent with a kick. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau yells "It's time to get ".] VM: I couldn't quite hear what Bordeau was trying to say over the ring bell. Did you understand what he said? JV: Nope. You almost gotta think he was going to say something bad with the timing of that bell. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a side suplex. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a tilt-a-whirl piledriver. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a legsweep. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a hiptoss.] VM: And Bordeau is just all over Billy Talent. JV: And he's already dragging him over to the stretcher. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau tries to put Hardcore Billy Talent on the Stretcher. Hardcore Billy Talent blocks it.] JV: He went for it way to early. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the ropes. Hardcore Billy Talent and Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau get hit with a double clothesline.] VM: And both men go down hard. JV: And despite the punishment he received earlier, Billy is the first one up. [Hardcore Billy Talent whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the ropes. Hardcore Billy Talent misses with an elbow. Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a kick to the midsection, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a single-leg takedown.] VM: Billy Talent unable to take advantage of the fallen Bordeau. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a punch. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a punch. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a punch, but Hardcore Billy Talent blocks it.] VM: Bordeau went for that punch one too many times. JV: Bordeau trying to beat Talent at his own game. VM: Which game would that me? JV: Kickboxing. Don't you read their profiles? VM: I didn't see Bordeau do any kicks. JV: No but he sure had that boxing part down. [Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a thrust kick to the head. Hardcore Billy Talent runs into the ropes. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits Hardcore Billy Talent with a clothesline.] VM: Bordeau shrugs off that thrust kick and nails Talent with a clothesline. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a tiger suplex, but Hardcore Billy Talent counters it with a backward kick. Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a kick to the midsection. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a thrust kick to the head. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a knee to the back.] VM: And there's the kickboxing background coming into play. [Hardcore Billy Talent yells "Who's Hardcore?". The crowd yells "Not You!!"] JV: Wow, tough crowd tonight. [Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a punch. Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a knee to the back. Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a kick to the thigh, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.] VM: Bordeau finally able to stop the kickboxing of Talent. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a tiger suplex. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a sleeperhold. Hardcore Billy Talent reaches the ropes after being trapped for 12 seconds.] VM: Bordeau going to the submission holds now. JV: This is a smart move on Bordeau's part. Talent is by far the better kickboxer, but Bordeau is the better wrestler. So he's using the submission holds to prevent Billy from using his kickboxing skills. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a tiger suplex. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a cartwheel kick. Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with an enzuilariato.] JV: Talent finally tries to go for a wrestling move but only to have Patrick counter it. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau whips Hardcore Billy Talent into the ropes, but Hardcore Billy Talent reverses it. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits Hardcore Billy Talent with an elbow. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a legsweep. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a back suplex.] VM: Nice back suplex there by Bordeau and now he's dragging Billy over to the stretcher. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau tries to put Hardcore Billy Talent on the Stretcher. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau puts Hardcore Billy Talent on the Stretcher. Hardcore Billy Talent gets off the Stretcher.] VM: And just as the paramedics... JV: The real ones, not Talent's manager. VM: try to pick up the stretcher, Billy gets up. JV; Well you have to really have your opponent hurt. The medical staff has to be able to carry the wrestler all the way back to the ambulances for the win. [Hardcore Billy Talent reenters the ring. Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a Vader attack, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with a fist to the midsection. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau throws Hardcore Billy Talent out of the ring. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes through the ropes.] JV: And it's Bordeau to get the hardcore side started, and not the one who calls himself Hardcore. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau sets up a table. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a punch, but Hardcore Billy Talent blocks it. They're brawling on the ground. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reenters the ring.] VM: What's the point in setting up a table if he's not going to use it. JV: He'll use it later on. VM: I thought maybe he was replacing the table for the spanish broadcasters. JV: He ain't that nice. Besides, there's a reason why the roadies didn't replace their table. VM: And why's that? JV: They don't deserve it. VM: And why's that? JV: Not many people in the spanish speaking countries watch SWF. VM: And how do you know that? JV: Name one hispanic wrestler in the SWF. VM: ....... JV: I rest my case. [Hardcore Billy Talent follows him back in. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a back suplex. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a Frankensteiner.] VM: Huge frankensteiner there by Bordeau. [Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a Yakuza kick, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a dropkick. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a side suplex. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a hiptoss.] VM: Bordeau is on fire! [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau runs into the ropes. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a superkick. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a forearm smash.] VM: Talent starting to fight back and it looks like he's going to try to put Bordeau on the stretcher. JV: No way. Bordeau has barely taken any punishment. [Hardcore Billy Talent tries to put Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the Stretcher. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.] JV: Told ya. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a kneelift. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for the Ice Pick, but Hardcore Billy Talent counters it with a Western lariat. Hardcore Billy Talent places Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the turnbuckle. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a top-rope DDT.] VM: Tremendous top-rope DDT! JV: I'm surprised that Billy even knew how to do that move. [Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a thrust kick to the head, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with a duck-down move. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a sleeperhold, but Hardcore Billy Talent blocks it. Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a kick to the midsection. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a thrust kick to the head. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a kick to the midsection.] VM: "Hardcore" returning to that kickboxing style of his. [Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a legsweep. Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a kick to the midsection, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a kneelift. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau gives the sign for the Ice Pick.] VM: And Bordeau is giving the sign for that hotshot/spinebuster finisher of his. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes the Ice Pick.] VM: And he hit it! Bordeau is picking Talent back up. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes an abdominal stretch. Hardcore Billy Talent manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 8 seconds. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes for a swinging neckbreaker, but Hardcore Billy Talent counters it with a side suplex.] JV: And another shocker as Billy counters a wrestling move with another wrestling move. Maybe billy has finally realized that you need to wrestle to win wrestling matches. [Hardcore Billy Talent whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the ropes. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits Hardcore Billy Talent with a shoulderblock. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau yells "It's time to get wrecked!".] VM: So that's what he said before. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau throws Hardcore Billy Talent out of the ring. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes through the ropes. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a clothesline. Marion Barry is hitting on Carey Stone. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau punches Marion Barry. The crowd pops.] JV: That's one way to become the crowd favorite. VM: Carey is pulling something out of her purse. It's a brick!! [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau is handed the Brick. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits Hardcore Billy Talent with the Brick. Hardcore Billy Talent is busted wide open. Carey Stone points to Marion Barry Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits Marion Barry with the Brick. Marion Barry is busted wide open. The crowd goes wild!] JV: It's about time someone did that to that crack addict. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau sets up Hardcore Billy Talent on the table. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau tries to drive Hardcore Billy Talent through the table with a legdrop, but he moves out of the way. The table is broken in half.] JV: Told ya he'd use the table later on. VM: Yeah but I'm sure that's not the result he wanted. [Hardcore Billy Talent whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the guardrail. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau is busted wide open. Hardcore Billy Talent whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the guardrail.] VM: And Hardcore has Bordeau bleeding. JV: Billy has really taken advantage of Bordeau's mistake. [Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a punch, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reverses it. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau grabs a night stick.] JV: Is the Vigilante around here? I thought he wasn't allowed to be here. VM: He isn't, I guess he grabbed the night stick from a Vigilante fan. JV: He has fans? [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits him with the night stick. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits him with the night stick. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau knocks Hardcore Billy Talent into the ringsteps.] JV: He knows how to handle his stick. VM: I think you're in danger of getting us a Mature tv rating. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau catches him in a belly-to-belly suplex. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a swinging neckbreaker. Carey Stone comes from behind, but Hardcore Billy Talent nails Carey Stone.] VM: Billy just punched Carey Stone!! JV: And Bordeau is pissed!! [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a kick to the midsection. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits him with the night stick. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a clothesline. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau yells "It's time to get wrecked!". Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau throws Hardcore Billy Talent back into the ring. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a swinging neckbreaker. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes him down with a side suplex.] VM: Bordeau is just wailing away. JV; Well hitting his wife was a mistake, that's just gonna make him go all out and beat the living crap outta ya. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau leaves the ring. He returns with a bottle. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau tries to put Hardcore Billy Talent on the Stretcher. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau puts Hardcore Billy Talent on the Stretcher.] VM: Bordeau apparently having second thought about using that bottle. JV: Well Billy is pretty hurt right now, Bordeau probably can get the win. [The attendants start to carry the Hardcore Billy Talent The attendants are halfway down the aisle. Hardcore Billy Talent gets off the Stretcher. Hardcore Billy Talent reenters the ring.] VM: So close. Hardcore was only about 25 feet away from that ambulance. [Hardcore Billy Talent whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the ropes, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reverses it. Hardcore Billy Talent bumps into Sean Ceigersmidt. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau and Hardcore Billy Talent get hit with a double clothesline.] VM: Both men and the ref go down. Both wrestlers back on their feet now but Sean Ceigersmidt is still down. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a dropkick. The Paramedic throws Hardcore Billy Talent the Steel Stretcher. Hardcore Billy Talent hits Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau with it and goes for the pin.] VM: Talent using his managers Steel Stretcher there. JV: Why is the idiot trying to pin him? This is a stretcher match, plus even if it wasn't, Sean is down so he can't count. [Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a cartwheel kick. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a legsweep. Hardcore Billy Talent whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the ropes, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau reverses it. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits Hardcore Billy Talent with a kick. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau takes a swing at Hardcore Billy Talent with the bottle, but he gets out of the way.] VM: Bordeau finally remembers about the bottle he brought into the ring. [Hardcore Billy Talent snatches the bottle from him. Hardcore Billy Talent hits him with the bottle. Hardcore Billy Talent gives the sign for the Hardcore Logo. Hardcore Billy Talent executes the Hardcore Logo.] VM: Hardcore using the bottle that Bordeau brought in then nailed him with that inverted powerbomb finisher of his. [Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a kick to the midsection, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau nails him with a legsweep. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes the Ice Pick.] JV: And Bordeau comes right back and hits his finisher. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau executes a legsweep. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a punch. Sean Ceigersmidt is back on the job. Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Hardcore Billy Talent tries to put Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau on the Stretcher. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau blocks it.] VM: Talent thought he did enough damage to Bordeau after that tilt-a-whirl suplex to lay Bordeau out on the stretcher. JV: And he was wrong. Why? Because he's a Loooo-serrrr. VM: That's not very nice. JV: I'm not a nice guy. [Hardcore Billy Talent hits his opponent in the throat with an elbow thrust. Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a short lariat. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a punch. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a legsweep. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a short lariat. Hardcore Billy Talent takes him down with a forearm smash. Hardcore Billy Talent whips Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau into the turnbuckle. Hardcore Billy Talent nails him with a fist to the midsection. Hardcore Billy Talent executes a fist to the midsection.] VM: Hardcore is just hitting Bordeau with that flurry of kickboxing moves. [Hardcore Billy Talent goes for a kneelift, but Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau counters it with a side step. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau bodyslams Hardcore Billy Talent onto the Stretcher.] JV: That had to hurt. Billy landed right on that steel stretcher. [The attendants start carrying Hardcore Billy Talent back to the ambulance. The Paramedic tries to stop the attendants.] VM: Get him out of there. Let the attendants do their job. [Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau goes through the ropes. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau snatches the Steel Stretcher from the Paramedic. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau hits the Paramedic with the Steel Stretcher.] JV: Bordeau making sure the Paramedic can't interfere anymore. [The Paramedic is busted wide open. The Paramedic is out cold. Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau puts the Paramedic on top of Hardcore Billy Talent on the stretcher. The attendants carry Hardcore Billy Talent and the Paramedic to the ambulance.] JV: Talk about adding insult to injury. Bordeau had both men carried back. VM: And apparently Mayor Marion Barry has left due to getting hit in the head with a brick, so Dean Oberman is filling in as ring announcer for the rest of the night. DO: The winner is Paralyzer Patrick Bordeau! in a time of 11:44. VM: An impressive win for Bordeau there. JV: It's not that impressive. It was only Billy Talent. VM: Who is a good wrestler. JV: I think most people would disagree with you. VM: And I'm sure there are some that would agree. I have just received an update on the conditions of Desperado and Jesse Aires. Desperado is suffering from severe neck injuries and will be out of action for at least three days. JV: That could cause a problem. Yvette had him scheduled for Tuesday. He may decide not to let him wrestle. VM: And Jesse Aires is suffering from a severe concussion and will be out at least 5 days. JV: I guess that takes him out of the house show. Too bad. VM: Well I just glad that those injuries weren't career ending. Well they're ready for the next match so let's go up to Dean Oberman. DO: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is a non-title, no-DQ, no-countout, no-time limit, falls count anywhere, flagpole Death match with the ropes replaced by barbed wire. JV: This is going to be a great match. DO: Introducing first, from somewhere in america, weighing in at 320 pounds, here is Sandman!! <"Enter Sandman" by Metallica blares as Sandman walks down to the ring as the crowd boos loudly.> DO: and his opponent, being led to the ring by his manager Kim Kelly, from Denver, Colorado, weighing in at 287 pounds, here is the SWF World Champion... JV: Until tuesday. DO: JAGGED EDGE!!!!!!! <"Me Killa" by Bone Thugs n' harmony plays as Jagged Edge and Kim Kelly come down to the ring. The crowd is mostly booing but some applause can be heard since he is the champ.> VM: Both men have been handed their steel flagpoles. Jagged Edge is having some parting words with Kim Kelly. Look Out! here comes Sandman! [Sandman attacks Jagged Edge before the bell. Sandman hits him with the Flag pole. Sandman hits him with the Flag pole. DING!] JV: Sandman decided to take a few practice swings with his flagpole before the match. VM: Those weren't practice! He hit Jagged Edge! JV: It's his fault for being in the way. [Sandman takes him down with a powerslam. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, shoulder up.] JV: A bit early there. Even if he did get Jagged Edge for the three count, he probably would've gotten up before the 10 count. [Sandman scrapes Jagged Edge's face across the barbed wire. Jagged Edge whips Sandman into the turnbuckle, but Sandman reverses it. Sandman charges into the corner. Sandman takes him down with an elbowsmash.] VM: So far it's been all Sandman. [Sandman goes for a choke slam, but Jagged Edge blocks it. Jagged Edge scrapes Sandman's face across the barbed wire. Jagged Edge executes a German suplex. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, kickout.] VM: Jagged Edge finally showing some offense. [Jagged Edge flexes to the crowd.] JV: Yeah that's nice but not as nice as this.. VM: Sit down. You're here to commentate, not pose for the crowd. JV: I can do both. [Jagged Edge rakes Sandman's face across the barbed wire. Sandman is busted wide open.] VM: And Sandman is the first one to bleed. [Jagged Edge takes him down with a bearhug. Jagged Edge lets go after 19 seconds. Jagged Edge executes a bearhug.] JV: Good move there by Jagged Edge. He realized his grip was slipping so he let go and then reapplied the bear hug. [Sandman manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds.] VM: Not good enough though as Sandman quickly breaks the hold. [Sandman nails him with a jack-knife power bomb. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, thr... kickout.] VM: Sandman pulled that jack-knife out of nowhere! JV: He caught Edge completely off guard. He was barely able to kickout. [Sandman rakes Jagged Edge's face across the barbed wire. Jagged Edge is busted wide open. Jagged Edge is bleeding profusely.] VM: And now Jagged Edge is cut open. JV: and he's got the worst of the cuts. [Sandman goes for a double underhook backbreaker, but Jagged Edge blocks it. Jagged Edge places Sandman on the turnbuckle. Jagged Edge nails him with a top-rope DDT. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up.] VM: And now Jagged Edge almost pins Sandman. [Jagged Edge throws Sandman out of the ring. Jagged Edge goes through the ropes. Jagged Edge grabs the ring bell. Jagged Edge hits him with the ring bell.] VM: Jagged Edge using the surroundings to his advantage. [Jagged Edge is going for the pin. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, shoulder up. Jagged Edge tosses Sandman down the aisle.] VM: Jagged Edge taking this match further away from the ring. [Jagged Edge goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Sandman counters it with an enzuilariato. Sandman executes the Sleeperhold. Jagged Edge manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds.] JV: The sleeperhold not very effective. [They're brawling in the aisle. Sandman nails him with a clothesline. Sandman hits him with the Flag pole.] JV: Wait across the kisser with the flagpole. VM: The men are near the edge of the reflecting pool. [They're brawling near the reflecting pool. Sandman throws Jagged Edge into the reflecting pool.] JV: Splash! VM: Both men getting wet right now. [Sandman executes a neck snap. Sandman is going for the pin. Scott Thomas counts: One,] VM: Jagged Edge is being held under water! JV: Smart move. He's getting pinned and choked at the same time. [two, three.] VM: Jagged Edge is the first one to get a pin tonight. Now he has to get back on his feet before the ref counts to ten. [Scott Thomas counts: one, two, three,] JV: Jagged Edge is coughing up all the water he swallowed when he was held under. [four, five, six, seven,] VM: Jagged Edge is still gasping for air. [eight, nine,] VM: Could this be it?!? [Jagged Edge gets back to his feet.] VM: No! Jagged Edge makes it back to his feet. [They're brawling in the reflecting pool. Jagged Edge nails him with a belly-to-back suplex.] JV: Those suplexes aren't too effective in the water. The water breaks the impact. [Kim Kelly comes from behind, but Sandman nails Kim Kelly.] VM: Kim Kelly braves the water but only to get hit by Sandman. Jagged Edge dunks him in the water. Jagged Edge throws Sandman onto the sidewalk.] VM: And out of the water they go. [They're brawling on the edge of the reflecting pool. Jagged Edge whips Sandman into a sidewalk vendor's cart. Jagged Edge grabs a scale model of the Washington Monument. Jagged Edge hits him with the scale model of the Washington Monument.] VM: Jagged Edge, who left his steel flagpole back in the ring stealing tourism memorabilia to use as weapons. JV: Well he made a good choice. That's a lot more effective than those D.C. t-shirts at the next cart over. [They're brawling by the sidewalk vendors. Jagged Edge flexes to the sidewalk vendors. The sidewalk vendors exchange confused looks.] JV: What are you showing off to them for? They don't know what's going on. Heck, some of them don't even understand english. [Jagged Edge nails him with a bearhug. Sandman manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 12 seconds. Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts Sandman. They're brawling by the sidewalk vendors. Jagged Edge throws Sandman over the sidewalk vendor's cart.] VM: Someone should really get those vendors out of the way. [Jagged Edge goes for a tilt-a-whirl suplex, but Sandman counters it with an enzuilariato. Sandman hits him with the Flag pole.] JV: About time Sandman decided to use that flagpole he's been carrying. [Sandman takes him down with a figure-four leglock. Jagged Edge manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 5 seconds. They're brawling behind the sidewalk vendors. Jagged Edge throws Sandman sidewalks vendor's cart. Jagged Edge flexes to the sidewalk vendors. The sidewalk vendors boo Jagged Edge.] VM: The vendors are not impressed. [They're brawling down the sidewalk. Jagged Edge goes for a power bomb, but Sandman blocks it. Kim Kelly comes from behind and distracts Sandman. Jagged Edge grabs a snowcone. Jagged Edge hits him with the snowcone.] JV: Did you know they charge 75 cents for those? That's outrageous. All it is artificial flavoring and ice. [Jagged Edge whips Sandman into the sidewalk vendor's cart. The cart tips over and popcorn spills everywhere.] VM: Sandman's flagpole goes flying into the reflecting pool and all that wonderful popcorn goes to waste. JV: Actually it's not getting wasted. Pigeons are coming out of nowhere to start eating it. [They're brawling by the sidewalk vendors. Jagged Edge throws Sandman over the sidewalk vendor's cart. Jagged Edge executes a bearhug. Sandman manages to escape the hold after being trapped for 6 seconds. Jagged Edge grabs a pigeon Jagged Edge hits him with the pigeon.] VM: oh boy, We're gonna hear about this from the humane society. JV: Like anyone cares about pigeons. They're rats with wings. [They're brawling by the sidewalk vendor's cart. They're brawling on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.] JV: Ah, they're gonna go pay their respect to Abe. [Jagged Edge goes for a spinning power bomb, but Sandman counters it with spinning headscissors. Sandman is going for the pin. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, kickout.] VM: Sandman with the unsuccessful pin on the steps. [Sandman whips Jagged Edge into a pillar. Sandman whips Jagged Edge into the Abraham Lincoln statue.] JV: Jagged Edge is probably seeing Abe a bit closer than he would've liked. They're brawling in the Lincoln Memorial. Sandman throws Jagged Edge down the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.] JV: Those stone steps have gotta hurt. [Sandman nails him with a double underhook backbreaker. Sandman knocks Jagged Edge into a sidewalk vendor's cart. Sandman grabs some popcorn. Sandman throws the popcorn at him.] VM: That's an ineffective weapon. JV: I don't know about that. Do you know how much cholesterol is in that buttered popcorn? [Sandman goes for a thrust kick to the head, but Jagged Edge counters it with a duck-down move. Sandman sets up Jagged Edge on a hot dog cart. Sandman tries to drive Jagged Edge through the table with a moonsault, but he moves out of the way.] VM: With no tables down at the memorial, Sandman resorts to using a hot dog cart. [The hot dog cart is broken in half. The hot dog vendor curses at the two wrestlers.] VM: And now hotdogs litter the sidewalk. And the vendor is pissed. JV: Is that Iranian he's yelling? VM: Couldn't tell you. [Jagged Edge shoves a couple hotdogs down Sandman's throat.] JV: And those hotdogs are loaded with fat. [Jagged Edge gives the sign for the Shattered Dreams. Jagged Edge executes the Shattered Dreams. Sandman submits after 5 seconds. Scott Thomas counts: one, Sandman gets back to his feet.] VM: That was quick. JV: That was a smart move by Sandman. He submitted instantly to prevent any damage from the hold and then got right back to his feet. [Jagged Edge executes a spinning power bomb. Scott Thomas counts: One, two, three.] VM: Wow that came out of nowhere! [Scott Thomas counts: one, two, three,] VM: Sandman is writhing in pain. [four, five, six, seven,] JV: I think Sandman's back may be injured. [eight, nine, ten.] VM: And that's it! Sandman could not answer the ten count! DO: The winner is Jagged Edge! In a time of 6:12. VM: Well that does it for us here at... JV: Wait a minute! What are those vendors doing? [Three vendors start walking up behind Jagged Edge. One vendor pulls some barbed-wire out of his cart. The vendor with the barbed wire starts to choke Jagged Edge with it. The other 2 vendors take off their hats and fake mustaches to reveal that they are Doug Bacon and Mr. America. VM: It's the Underground!! [Mr. America and Doug Bacon start punching Jagged Edge. The third vendor stops choking Jagged Edge and takes off his hat and fake beard to reveal that he is Phoenix.] VM: Phoenix, Mr. America, and Doug Bacon are just wailing away on Jagged Edge. JV: I guess the Underground decided that the SWF couldn't go a week without them making an appearance on the card. [Phoenix starts to cut Jagged Edge with the barbed wire. As Jagged Edge lies on the ground and Phoenix cuts him, Mr. America and Doug Bacon start kicking Jagged Edge. Sandman gets to his feet and runs into the Lincoln Memorial.] VM: It looks like Sandman want's no part of this. JV: Well I'm sure he'd love to beat up Jagged Edge some more, he probably doesn't want to tangle with the Underground. Which is a smart move. [The three Underground members continue to beat on Jagged Edge. Sandman re-emerges from the Lincoln Memorial pushing a coffin.] VM: And now Sandman is coming back with a coffin. [Sandman comes next to the Underground members. The 3 men stop beating Jagged Edge who is now a bloodied pulp. Sandman picks up the bloodied Jagged Edge and puts him in the coffin.] JV: I guess Sandman was determined to make this a coffin match. [Sandman closes the coffin and locks it. The three Underground members and Sandman walk away.] JV: Does this mean that Sandman is a member of the Underground?!? VM: You're the one that's supposed to know that stuff. JV: I gotta look into this. VM: Well we are way over time. We will see you next week from Bloomington, Minnesota for the first round of the Tough man title tournament.