[Screen fades up to an aerial shot of the MGM Grand Hotel while ZZ Top's "Viva Las Vegas" plays. The screen then cuts to several shots along the strip... including shots of Mr. Meteorite #667 with Elvis in front of Caesars palace, Equalizer and Budman playing blackjack, Brian Frenck playing craps, The Mad Hatter trying to sell a hat at a pawn shop, Sean McKenzie making a pass at a showgirl, Gods Tears and Flash playing video games at Circus Circus, and Copycat playing the slot machines. Screen then cuts to a shot of Brandon Hudson and Ernie Lee sitting at the announcers desk.] BH: Viva Las Vegas and welcome to SWF Slaughterhouse! We're coming to you live from the MGM Grand, and we've got one hell of a card for you tonight. EL: Including the World Title match that may not be! BH: Absolutely. It's probably best to let you know right now that there have been some problems concerning Equalizer's trip here to Vegas. Now I don't have the full story, but I'm guessing that his flight was delayed. At any rate, Equalizer has not arrived to the arena, and it doesn't really look like he will. In the event that this happens, there will no longer be a World Title match on the card. However, we will have a replacement of some sorts. We'll get to that later on. EL: Also we're gonna see the Sandman wrestle on Slaughterhouse for the first time in what feels like forever. He'll be wiping the mat with that Trinity joke, Death Jester. BH: It's a hardcore rules match actually. Both of these guys are being considered as top contenders to the Toughman title, so this could be a big break for either man here tonight. Sandman has been there before, and I can guarantee you that he wants to do it again. EL: That's a promise. What else do we have? BH: Well the Toughman title will be up for grabs when the new champion, The Budman, defends against The Mad Hatter. EL: This isn't Hatter's first shot at the Toughman title, so he's been in this position before. I think he holds a definite advantage, and we're gonna see the Toughman belt switch hands yet again. BH: It certainly could happen. The Cruiserweight title is scheduled to be put on the line, but this one has remained a little hazy over the last week. EL: Mr. Shhh has stated that no matter what happens, this will be an official title match. Y2K has been forced to defend the belt with or without injury. He has no chance of walking out as the Cruiserweight Champ. BH: That looks to be the case, Ernie. The Artful Dodger may have the easiest title win in the history of the sport tonight. Then again, you can never count Yancy Kilpatrick out. We all thought that Corona Tecate had him defeated at Independence Day, but this young man still managed to pull out a victory and retain his championship. EL: Yeah yeah yeah... don't worry. That's won't be happening tonight. You know, Hudson, I haven't mentioned this to anyone... but I have a very big surprise tonight. BH: You have got to be kidding me. What is it now? Your sister is the new valet for the Living Dead? EL: Shut up, Hudson. I have a huge surprise. Everyone will be on their feet. Just trust me. BH: We'll see. We have a lot of action to get to tonight, so let's start it off with the debut of a new young superstar to the SWF. [The camera pans around as Rick Ascott steps between the ropes.] RA: Tonight's opening contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. ["Mr. Roboto" by Styx plays over the speaker system and the former tag team champion steps through the curtains as the fans boo loudly.] RA: Introducing first... Fighting out of Tokyo, Japan... Weighing in at 220 pounds... MR. ROBOTO!!!!! [The crowd continues to boo as Mr. Roboto runs to the ring, jumps up onto the ring apron, and flips over the ropes. Shocked that he actually landed on his feet, he pauses for a moment before finally smiling and climbing one turnbuckle. The crowd uses him for target practice. As Mr. Roboto jumps down from the turnbuckle, his music dies out and is replaced by "Cliffs of Dover" by Eric Johnson.] RA: His opponent... From Wilmington, DE... Weighing in at 230 pounds... "FAST" EDDIE CUTLASS!!!!! [The music starts, and at the crescendo bright lights blare from the entrance way and Eddie enters. He moves quickly to the ring, slapping hands along the way, slides head first into the ring. The crowd is giving a mixed reaction.] BH: His name is "Fast" Eddie, and this is his wrestling debut here in the SWF. What do you know about him, Ernie? EL: I know his name is Eddie Cutlass, people call him "Fat" Eddie... BH: "Fast" Eddie. EL: Excuse me? BH: They call him "Fast" Eddie, not "Fat" Eddie. EL: Oh well, anyway... BH: Forget it. The lovely Julia Barrymore is calling for the bell, and we've got a match underway. [They lock up. Eddie Cutlass chops Mr. Roboto. Mr. Roboto hits Eddie Cutlass. - Eddie Cutlass kicks Mr. Roboto. Eddie Cutlass goes for a hiptoss, but Mr. Roboto counters it with a facerake. The arena is exploding in a chorus of boos.] BH: Young Eddie Cutlass is having a little trouble with the veteran in the early moments of the match, but this one is far from over. EL: I'll bet this kid is gonna make his debut by losing to the great Roboto. [Mr. Roboto runs into the ropes. Mr. Roboto uses a dropkick to the knee on Eddie Cutlass. Mr. Roboto takes Eddie Cutlass down with a kick to the midsection. Mr. Roboto is being booed like there is no tomorrow. Mr. Roboto goes for the Modern Man, but Eddie Cutlass counters it with a power bomb. The crowd is really behind Eddie Cutlass. Julia Barrymore counts: One] BH: Roboto gets caught with a power bomb, and this could be over! [two] BH: TWO! [kickout.] BH: Only a two count, but this definitely will change the pace of the match. [Eddie Cutlass hits Mr. Roboto with flying headscissors.Eddie Cutlass runs into the ropes.Eddie Cutlass hits Mr. Roboto with a kick.Eddie Cutlass hits Mr. Roboto with a German suplex.Julia Barrymore counts: One] BH: German suplex and ONE... [two] BH: TWO... [kickout.] BH: Not quite. EL: I think this kid's problem is he's already underestimating Mr. Roboto, and you just can't do that. BH: Whatever you say, Ernie. EL: Hey don't mock me! Just ask Chico and Cholo. [Eddie Cutlass whips Mr. Roboto into the turnbuckle. Eddie Cutlass charges into the corner, but Mr. Roboto lifts his leg. Mr. Roboto whips Eddie Cutlass into the ropes. Eddie Cutlass hits Mr. Roboto with an elbow. Eddie Cutlass uses a headlock takedown on Mr. Roboto. Eddie Cutlass nails Mr. Roboto with a dropkick. Eddie Cutlass hits Mr. Roboto. Eddie Cutlass is getting a good reaction from the crowd. Mr. Roboto hits Eddie Cutlass. Mr. Roboto chops Eddie Cutlass. Quite a few boos are audible. Eddie Cutlass chops Mr. Roboto. Eddie Cutlass is getting a good reaction from the crowd.] BH: Cutlass and Roboto are exchanging blows, and that might actually be a good strategy against a guy like Roboto. EL: Why would you say that? BH: Roboto's one of those guys who can't take that much punishment. It's pretty much become fact that if you can last a certain amount of time with a member of the t.W.o., you're gonna get the win. [Mr. Roboto kicks Eddie Cutlass.Eddie Cutlass hits Mr. Roboto.Eddie Cutlass is getting a good reaction from the crowd. Eddie Cutlass kicks Mr. Roboto. Eddie Cutlass chops Mr. Roboto. Eddie Cutlass hits Mr. Roboto. Eddie Cutlass whips Mr. Roboto into the ropes. Eddie Cutlass takes Mr. Roboto down with a Frankensteiner.Julia Barrymore counts: One] BH: Beautiful Frankensteiner! [two] BH: Two and... [kickout.] BH: NO! "Fast" Eddie is still unable to keep Roboto down for the three. EL: Ya know, Cutlass is a cruiserweight. BH: You're point being? EL: Just thought I'd fill you in. BH: Ernie, I know that he's a cruiserweight. He was introduced as a cruiserweight. I can tell this is gonna be a long night. [Eddie Cutlass hits Mr. Roboto with a back suplex.The crowd is cheering on Eddie Cutlass.Eddie Cutlass uses a back suplex on Mr. Roboto. Eddie Cutlass goes for a spinning leg lariat, but Mr. Roboto ducks out of the way. Mr. Roboto whips Eddie Cutlass into the ropes. Eddie Cutlass executes a swinging neckbreaker on Mr. Roboto. Eddie Cutlass is getting a good reaction from the crowd.] BH: Roboto briefly turns things back to his favor, but Eddie catches him with a vicious swinging neckbreaker. EL: Don't you worry about Mr. Roboto. He's a stronger than bull. [Eddie Cutlass runs into the ropes.Eddie Cutlass goes for a flying forearm, but Mr. Roboto ducks out of the way. Mr. Roboto throws Eddie Cutlass out of the ring. Julia Barrymore counts: one, two, three] BH: And now we can see everything turn around. Eddie missed with that flying forearm and it's definitely gonna cost him. EL: Well just look at him now. He's having trouble getting up on the outside. I think Roboto may have injured him. [four, five] BH: We are up to a five count, and Eddie Cutlass is on his feet. EL: He won't make it. He's too scared to get back into the ring with the greatness which is Mr. Roboto. [six, Eddie Cutlass reenters the ring.] BH: Looks like you're wrong again, Ernie. EL: There's a first time for everything. [Mr. Roboto runs into the ropes.Mr. Roboto hits Eddie Cutlass with a kick. Mr. Roboto hits Eddie Cutlass with a thrust kick to the head. Mr. Roboto is starting to get under the crowd's skin. Mr. Roboto executes the Modern Man on Eddie Cutlass. Julia Barrymore counts: One] BH: THE MODERN MAN! EL: I can't believe it! [two] BH: One! Two! EL: Roboto did it! [thr... kickout. Mr. Roboto complains about a slow count.] BH: Three! NO! Two and a half only! EL: Damn! That was a slow count, Hudson! This Cutlass loser should be headed back to the indys now! BH: It was only a two count. I promise that Julia Barrymore knows exactly what she's doing. EL: Well don't worry. Roboto isn't finished with him yet. [Mr. Roboto goes for a dropkick to the knee, but Eddie Cutlass side-steps and Mr. Roboto only hits air. The crowd is cheering on Eddie Cutlass. Eddie Cutlass executes the The Final Cut on Mr. Roboto. Eddie Cutlass is getting a good reaction from the crowd.] BH: That's it! THE FINAL CUT! EL: NO! BH: Eddie Cutlass is going for the pin, and this should be all over. [Eddie Cutlass goes for the pin.Julia Barrymore counts: One] BH: One... [two] BH: Two... EL: Kick out! [three.The chants for Eddie Cutlass are deafening. "Cliffs of Dover" once again begins to blare over the speaker system as Julia Barrymore raises Eddie Cutlass' arm in the air.] BH: Three! Eddie Cutlass is victorious in his debut match, and these fans are behind him all the way! EL: One day, guys like Roboto and the rest of the t.W.o. are gonna strike back... when everyone least expects it. Guys like you and Eddie Cutlass will be the first to go down. BH: Understood, let's get the official word from Rick Ascott! RA: The winner of the match... "FAST" EDDIE CUTLASS!!!!![Eddie Cutlass exits the ring and slaps the hands of some fans as the camera pans back to Brandon Hudson and Ernie Lee at ringside.] BH: Well what a stunning debut for the young man from Wilmington. EL: It was a shocking upset. That's all it was. BH: Guys like Cutlass are the future of the SWF, Ernie. One day, you and I will be sitting back watching this young man in the main event of a major Pay-Per-View, and we'll be discussing the night we first saw him wrestle. EL: Hopefully I'll be retired by then. BH: At our pay? We won't be retiring for another 100 years. [A graphic of Death Jester vs. Sandman appears on the screen.] BH: Folks, when we come back, Death Jester takes on Sandman in a hardcore rules match. It's gonna be wild. Don't go anywhere. [We cut to commercials for SWF Slaughterhouse 64, The Blair Witch Project, Taco Bell, M&Ms, and the Sanford and Son collector's set. The scene then reopens to a view of the crowd in the MGM Grand. We see signs reading "Deaf Bacon: The Other White Meat", "Bring Back Frankie Swinger!", "Fatal Fury Rules", and "You are entering a world of pain" written with a picture of Equalizer holding the World Title.] BH: Welcome back, folks. Up next on the card we've got a falls count anywhere, anything goes match between Trinity's Death Jester and The Family's Sandman. This should be brutal. EL: Sandman is the greatest Toughman champion in the history of the SWF, so you know he is loving the fact that this is a hardcore rules match. He's right in his element. BH: I'll agree with that. Let's send this over to Richard Ascott for the introductions. RA: This contest is a falls-count-anywhere-no-DQ-no-countout-match scheduled for one fall. [The crowd goes wild, but soon the cheers shift to boos as "Enter Sandman" by Metallica blasts over the speaker system.] EL: Here he comes, Hudson! The man! RA: Introducing first... Hailing from Death Valley, California...Weighing in at 320 pounds... SANDMAN!!!!! [The Sandman steps through the curtains and onto the platform. He holds his pitchfork high in the air as sparks fly all around him. The fans are continuing to boo loudly.] BH: He's head of security for The Family, and now he's stepping back into the ring full time to reclaim what he believes belongs to him. EL: The Toughman Title! BH: You got it. Not too long ago he actually returned to the ring to face Budman, and although there was some definite ring rust, I think he's back to his old self now. In fact, he looks to be in the best shape of his life. [Sandman enters the ring and places his pitchfork in his corner as the music fades into "My Own Summer" by the Deftones. The crowd erupts with cheers.] RA: His opponent... Represting Trinity... Fighting out of Phoenix, AZ... Weighing in at 286 pounds... DEATH JESTER!!!!! [Fireworks explode at the entrance way as Death Jester bursts through the curtains and is greeted with a tremendous ovation. As the fireworks die down, Death Jester takes a moment to acknowledge the crowd before charging the ring. He begins to climb up on the ring apron, but Sandman quickly goes after him, causing him to jump back down.] BH: Well this was to be expected. Sandman isn't even giving Jester a chance to get into the ring. EL: He's just trying to save him from embarrassment. ["My Own Summer" dies down as Death Jester circles the ring, trying to enter, but still Sandman refuses to let him in.] BH: Come on! This is ridiculous. EL: HA HA HA! I love it! Sandman is obviously keeping Jester out of the ring for security purposes. BH: Give me a break. [Death Jester walks over to the announcer's table and pulls Ernie Lee out of his chair. Jester grabs the chair and tosses it into the ring. As Sandman dodges his way out of the chair, Jester grabs the time keeper's chair and slides into the ring.] BH: He's in, and we have a match! [Julia Barrymore calls for the bell to start the match. Death Jester hits Sandman with the steel chair. Death Jester hits Sandman with the steel chair. The crowd is going wild. Death Jester sets up the chair. Death Jester whips Sandman into the ropes. Sandman uses a clothesline on Death Jester. All of a sudden, the cheers turn into almost unanimous boos. A ring attendant brings Ernie Lee a new chair.] BH: Death Jester starts off strong, but Sandman has literally just taken away all of his steam. EL: That man is the REAL Toughman Champ. The greatest Toughman in the history of the SWF. [Sandman uses a facerake on Death Jester.Sandman goes for a powerbomb, but Death Jester counters with a backdrop onto the chair. The crowd is going wild. Death Jester pulls Sandman up. Death Jester looks to the crowd and takes a punch.The crowd is really behind Death Jester.] BH: This crowd is so solidly behind Death Jester, and he's feeding off of it. Sandman looks like he doesn't quite know what to do. [Julia Barrymore removes one of the chairs from the ring. Death Jester takes the other steel chair. Death Jester hits Sandman with the steel chair. Death Jester sets the chair up in the corner. Death Jester whips Sandman into the chair. Death Jester nails Sandman with the Doctor Bomb.Julia Barrymore counts: One] BH: Doctor Bomb and it's ONE [two] BH: ... TWO... [kickout.Death Jester complains about a slow count.] BH: Two count only! EL: What? You thought Sandman was gonna go down that easy? You don't know him that well do you? [Death Jester whips Sandman into the ropes, but Sandman reverses it. Death Jester misses with a clothesline. Sandman hits Death Jester with a kick. Sandman takes the steel chair. Sandman hits Death Jester with the steel chair. The crowd is booing loudly.Sandman hits Death Jester with the steel chair. Sandman hits Death Jester with a Tombstone.The arena is exploding in a chorus of boos.] BH: What a tombstone from Sandman! The reaction from this crowd is deafening! EL: They love the Sandman! BH: I don't think that's love they're sharing. [Sandman goes for a jack-knife power bomb, but Death Jester counters it with a backdrop.In turn, Sandman counters it with a sunset flip. Julia Barrymore counts: One] BH: Series of reversals... Sandman's got the pin! [two] BH: Two and... [kickout.] BH: Kickout! EL: Not like it matters. Sandman has Jester right where he wants him. [Death Jester runs into the ropes. Sandman uses a dropkick to the knee on Death Jester. Sandman uses a football tackle on Death Jester. Sandman takes the steel chair. Sandman hits Death Jester's knee with the steel chair.The crowd is booing Sandman out of the building.] BH: Brilliant strategy by Sandman as he is working on the knee of Death Jester. EL: Great idea! Send two members of Trinity packing with bad knees. BH: He certainly has a great ring presence. I'll give Sandy that. EL: Don't call him Sandy! [Sandman places the chair on the mat. Sandman powerslams Death Jester onto the chair.Julia Barrymore counts: One, two, kickout.Sandman complains about a slow count.] BH: Sandman going for a quick pin after a powerslam, but it didn't bring anything more than a two count. EL: Just wait! Sandman is a master of hardcore. He'll find something to take this punk out. [Sandman hits Death Jester with the steel chair. Sandman sets up the chair. Sandman hits Death Jester with a jumping DDT on the chair. Sandman kicks the chair out of the ring. Numerous fans are using Sandman for target practice.] BH: Sandman is just dominating Death Jester at this point, and things are not looking good for the young star. EL: This match hasn't even left the ring yet. I've never seen a hardcore match like this. They have had two chairs and beaten the hell out of each other with them in the ring. [Sandman removes the padding from one of the turnbuckles. The crowd is booing loudly.] BH: He's taking that padding from the turbuckle. I think we all know what's coming up next. EL: Yeah! Sandman's trip to the pay window! [Sandman tries to whip Death Jester into the exposed turnbuckle, but Death Jester reverses it. Sandman hits the exposed turnbuckle and stumbles back. The crowd erupts with cheers. Death Jester hits Sandman from behind and knocks him back into the exposed turnbuckle. The crowd is going wild.Death Jester rolls Sandman up for the pin. Julia Barrymore counts: One] BH: Sandman looks to be out cold, and Jester's going for a pin! [two] EL: Come on, Sandman! You're better than this! [thr... kickout.] BH: It's two and a half! Close but no cigar! EL: YES! Come on, big guy! This match belongs to you! [Death Jester hits Sandman with a DDT. Death Jester exits the ring. He returns with a steel chair. Death Jester sets up the chair.Death Jester places Sandman on the turnbuckle.Death Jester hits Sandman with a top-rope DDT onto the chair. Sandman is busted open. The crowd is going wild. Death Jester goes for the pin. Julia Barrymore counts: One] BH: Beautiful move, it's ONE! [two] BH: TWO! [Sandman gets his foot on the ropes.] BH: Still not enough! Sandman's pretty tough for an old guy! EL: Oh you're gonna get it now! [Death Jester puts Sandman in a cobra clutch. Sandman is valiantly trying to break the hold. Sandman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds. Death Jester takes Sandman down with a front-layout suplex. Death Jester uses a flying legdrop on Sandman. Julia Barrymore counts: One] BH: Death Jester with the pin attempt... ONE! [two] BH: TWO! [kickout.] BH: NO! Death Jester just can't find a way to keep the head of security down. EL: And he never will! Sandman is the toughest SOB in the history of professional wrestling! [Death Jester hits Sandman with a piledriver. The chants for Death Jester are deafening.Death Jester whips Sandman into the ropes, but Sandman reverses it.Death Jester misses with a shoulderblock.Sandman misses with a kick.Death Jester hits Sandman with an elbow. The crowd is going wild.] BH: Jester takes Sandman down with an elbow, and the crowd responds with a tremendous ovation for Jester. EL: I can't believe they like this moron! He's .. he's.. crazy! [Death Jester goes for the Jester Cutter, but Sandman shoves him into the exposed turnbuckle. The crowd erupts with boos.Sandman nails Death Jester with a dropkick to the knee. Sandman is bleeding profusely. Sandman takes the steel chair. Sandman hits Death Jester's knee with the steel chair.] BH: That was a close call for Sandman, and now things have changed drastically as Jester was shoved right into that exposed turnbuckle. EL: Sandman's working on the knee again. Could someone get him a towel? He looks like hell. [Sandman sets up the chair. Sandman takes Death Jester up for a kneebreaker, but drops him on the chair. The crowd is using Sandman for target practice.] BH: MY GOD! This is sickening! EL: Sandman's gonna end Jester's career tonight! I love it! [Sandman whips Death Jester into the ropes, but Death Jester's leg gives way.Sandman takes the steel chair. Sandman hits Death Jester with the steel chair. Sandman throws Death Jester out of the ring.Sandman goes through the ropes.] BH: And finally, this match is going to the outside like we knew it would. It's probably been the most brutal in ring battle I've ever seen, but now it's probably gonna get a whole lot worse. EL: You just can't beat Sandman at his own game. He's the king of hardcore. [They're brawling inside the ring area.Sandman knocks Death Jester into the ringsteps. Sandman takes a monitor from the announcer's desk. Sandman hits Death Jester with the monitor. Death Jester is busted open. The crowd is booing loudly.] EL: Double the blood! Double the fun! BH: Sandman is picking Jester apart piece by piece now. As much heart as the young Trinity superstar has, I just don't think it's gonna be enough to overcome this. [Sandman throws Death Jester over the guardrail. Security is holding back some fans. Sandman whips Death Jester into the guardrail. Sandman is choking Death Jester against the guardrail. Death Jester is bleeding like hell. Death Jester is struggling to break the hold. Sandman breaks the hold after 15 seconds. Sandman throws Death Jester over the guardrail.] EL: Death Jester is not leaving Pain City... next stop, Hurtsville. BH: Sandman brings Jester back over the guardrail and they are once again brawling around ringside. Jester is still limping. I don't know how badly that leg is hurt, but it doesn't look good. [They're brawling down the aisle.Sandman goes for a reverse neckbreaker, but Death Jester blocks it.Death Jester goes for a European uppercut, but Sandman blocks it.Sandman gets a bearhug on Death Jester.] BH: Jester tries to fight back, but Sandman has him caught in a bear hug. I'm not sure DJ can keep going. [Death Jester is valiantly trying to break the hold.Death Jester is struggling to get out of the hold. Death Jester is bleeding profusely. Death Jester tries to escape the hold. Death Jester is writhing in pain. Julia Barrymore checks Death Jester's arm. He lifts it... it falls.] BH: Jester may be gone, folks. Julia Barrymore checks to see if he can continue. EL: The arm went down! He's gone! [He lifts it... it falls.] BH: Just one more and this one is history. EL: No problem! I told you Sandman had this one taken care of! [He lifts it... it stays up !Death Jester fights his way out of the hold after 29 seconds. Death Jester goes for a front-layout suplex, but Sandman blocks it. Sandman hits Death Jester. Sandman is handed a bullrope. The crowd is booing loudly. Sandman hits him with the bullrope.] BH: Jester is still in this match, but for how long? He made a very valiant attempt at fighting back, but it didn't quite come out too well. Folks, we hate to interupt this match, but we've got to cut to commercial. EL: What? Now??? BH: The tapes will be rolling so if the match ends during the break, you won't miss anything. EL: We can't cut to commercial now! BH: We'll be right back. [Cut to commercials for Pizza Hut, Twix candy bars, Sony Playstation's "Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver", The Haunting, and a commercial for Around The World. The commercials are immediately followed by a promo on how fans can win tickets to the Hostile Takeover PPV event. From there we fade back to the action.] BH: Welcome back, folks! While you were gone, the action just went all over the place. Jester and Sandman have both entered the casino and Death Jester has managed to regain control after a slot machine fell down on Sandman. EL: This is illegal! Someone do something! [They are brawling in the casino. Death Jester knocks Sandman into the blackjack table.Death Jester is handed a deck of cards. Death Jester hits Sandman with the deck of cards.] BH: Well Jester probably thinks he's really inventive, but I bet someone in the history of the league has tried to use a deck of cards before. You just gotta use whatever you get your hands on. EL: Well that's just stupid. He might as well be throwing dice at him. [Death Jester executes a German suplex on Sandman.Julia Barrymore counts: One] BH: German suplex, and this could be it... [two] BH: One! Two! [thr... shoulder up.] BH: Three... or no! It's not over! EL: Come on, Sandman! [Death Jester slams Sandman onto the craps table. Death Jester is handed dice. Death Jester blows on the dice and throws them at Sandman. The crowd is going wild.] EL: Oh brother! BH: Death Jester has this crowd pumped! He's battled back against all odds in this match, and he seems destined to come out on top! [They are brawling into the bar area. Death Jester whips Sandman into the buffet table. Sandman is bleeding like hell. The crowd is behind Death Jester all the way. Death Jester nails Sandman with a front-layout suplex. Death Jester is handed a fire extinguisher. Death Jester hits him with the fire extinguisher. The chants for Death Jester are deafening.] BH: Jester cracks the fire extinguisher against Sandman, and I don't think the former Toughman champ can even stand on his own anymore. EL: They're fighting all over the food! It's a tragedy! [They are fighting towards the back. Death Jester hits Sandman with the fire extinguisher. Sandman is bleeding like a faucet. Death Jester opens the janitor's closet. Death Jester whips Sandman into the closet. Death Jester slams the door. Death Jester is bleeding like hell. The crowd is going wild.] BH: Both men are beaten and bloody, and now Death Jester has Sandman in the janitor's closet! I've never seen anything like this in my life! [Death Jester takes a breather and opens the closet door. Sandman attacks Death Jester with a mop handle. Sandman hits Death Jester with the mop handle. Sandman hits Death Jester with the mop handle. The mop handle is broken in half.] BH: Sandman just came out of the closet! EL: Shut up, Hudson! He's beating the hell out of Jester! This is the Sandman I know! [Sandman reenters the closet. He returns with an extension chord. Sandman uses the extension chord to choke Death Jester. Death Jester is struggling to break free. Death Jester is bleeding profusely. Sandman releases the hold after 10 seconds. Sandman pulls Death Jester to his feet and smiles. Sandman is bleeding like hell.] BH: Sandman has been choking the life out of DJ. He looks like he's having trouble breathing still! EL: He has something on this mind, Hudson! He's gonna do something to him! Something bad! HA HA HA! [Sandman executes the Sleeperhold on Death Jester.] BH: Sandman has the Sleeperhold applied! EL: It's over! No one uses a sleeper like the Sandman! [Death Jester tries to fight the pain.Death Jester is bleeding profusely. Death Jester is struggling to break the hold. Death Jester summons one last burst of energy. Death Jester submits after 15 seconds.A wave of boos goes through the crowd.] BH: That's gonna do it. Rick Ascott is gonna give us the official word. RA: The winner of the match ... SANDMAN!!!!! BH: After one hell of a fight, Sandman takes the victory. I think that all of the respect in the world has to go to Death Jester though. He fought toe-to-toe with one of the legends of the SWF, and I'd even say had the advantage for the majority of the time. I'm very impressed. EL: I'm impressed too. I've never seen someone submit so quickly. BH: Well Sandman's celebration won't be great. He's gonna have to see a doctor quick. Same goes to DJ. EL: Well nevermind that. I have a big surprise for all of the world tonight, Hudson. BH: Are you gonna tell us about it or not? EL: Do you really want to know? BH: Sure. Let's hear it. EL: Well hold on to your butts. [Ernie Lee stands up from the announcer's desk. The crowd begins to boo loudly. Ernie Lee walks up the steps and enters the ring. He grabs a mike and looks around at the crowd] EL: Ladies and gentlemen, I have a very special surprise for all of you tonight. In fact, you might as well go ahead and start kissing my feet right now because what I have for you is the best early Christmas present you'll ever get. Without further ado, allow me to introduce to you the greatest SWF Television Champion of all time... that's right, he's come home! Please welcome back to the Vegas and to the SWF... FRANKIE "THE ORIGINAL" SWINGER!!!!! [The crowd goes nuts as "Go Daddy-O," by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy blasts through the arena...] [Frankie walks to the ring wearing pin stripe pants, a wife beater tank top, suspenders, and his fedora.] BH: Got to tell you Ernie Swinger has buffed up a bit and is looking pretty good. And that new babe he has looks just like the Dorito Girl...Ali Landry... how about getting her autograph for me. EL: I just want to know who poured her into those black peddle pusher pants amd that tight lowcut red shirt. BH: The red platform shoes are my favorite... but I always did have a foot fetish. [Frankie and his new lady step into the ring and walk over to Ernie Lee. The young lady leans over and gives Ernie a light kiss on the cheek, steps back and smiles] EL[clearing his throst]: Mr. Swinger, it's good to have you back! First question I have to ask is who is this lovely lady and what happened to Mack The Knife? FS: Nice to see you, too, cooky! No hi? No how the hell are ya? Anyways, this is Jack Rabbitt Slim...my new bodyguard. Mack was just dropping the ball a bit too much, so i kicked his retarded ass to the curb. Now, onto a more interesting subject...like yours truly. EL: I'm sorry Mr. Swinger, it's just that she looks so much like... FS: Yeah, the chick you see in the Doritos commercial. You don't think I know this? She's more than that...she's lethal. Forget Chyna, Asya, Korea, Japan, and whoever else you friggin' want to bring on! All hail Jack Rabbitt Slim! {The crowd goes crazy as JRS poses for the crowd...} EL: Now, Frankie...where have you been for the past few months? FS: Daddy's been busy, baby. I had surgery to fix my back, as a lot of people know. But i'm back, and better than ever, baby! Ready to pick up where I friggin' left off...at the top! EL: Frankie, when you left, you were in hot pursuit of the IC title. What are your plans now? FS: Screw the IC title, baby, I'm goin' for broke! I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD! The world title, that is! Equalizer, I've beaten you before, baby, and God only knows i can do it again, again, and a-friggin'-gain! And, with a little help from some of my newest, dearest, closest friends, I don't think it will be that hard. FS: Friends? You never aligned yourself with anybody! What are you talking about? Are you joining a stable? Trinity? The Family? FS: Don't be ri-GodDamn-diculous, baby! I'm talking about attitude, excitement, (pointing to JRS) enticement, drinking, dining, boozzing, and never ever friggin' losing, baby. I'm talking about something for the Millenium. The new blood, the space age. Screw the old vs. new stuff. This'll blow the roof off this friggin' dump, baby! And creepy... you'll just have to hold your breath to find out! You know what I always say, baby...Frankie's always got an Ace up his sleeve, and tonight is no exception! ("Go-Daddy-O" starts back up again...) EL: Well, I guess it's time to make room for daddy, once again...Ladies and gentlemen...Jack Rabbitt Slim and Frankie "The Original" Swinger! [Frankie leave as Ernie joins Brandon at the table.] BH: Excellent interview Ernie... how did you manage to pull this one off... EL: Well as Frankie would say "I always have an ace up my sleeve... BH: And while your pulling it out we are gonna take a quick commercial break, and we'll be right back. [Cut to commercials for M&Ms, "You've Got Mail" on PPV, a number of titles including SWF Slaughterhouse for Game Boy Color, and that damn "Say Butt?" telephone commercial. The scene reopens on Brandon Hudson and Ernie Lee standing in the ring with Rick Ascott as the next match at Slaughterhouse gets under way.] BH (on a house mic): This next match is one we've been waiting to see all week, Ernie, as SWF Cruisweight Champion Yancy Kilpatrick takes on The Artful Dodger...or, as we've been led to believe, as he surrenders his Cruiserweight Championship due to a possible career-threatening knee injury. EL: You honestly believe that? The man's a member of the new improved Trinity, remember? He's nothing but a second-rate cruiserweight who won that belt by sheer luck...and he's only managed to keep it by defending it against guys who are worse than he is!! BH: What exactly are you saying, Ernie? Do you think Y2K is playing Dodger for a fool to get the upper hand? EL: No...I think Y2K is just too chicken to wrestle a guy of The Artful Dodger's caliber. This is an easy out for him, that's all!! BH: Well, let's have Rick Ascott introduce our competitors and we'll see what the Cruiserweight Champion has up his sleeves. ["Anarchy In The U.K." by the Sex Pistols blares over the sound system as The Artful Dodger steps through the curtains. The crowd is booing heavily.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is one fall and is for the SWF Cruiserweight Championship!! Introducing first...the challenger...THE ARTFUL DODGER!! [The Artful Dodger makes his way to the ring amidst a chorus of boos from the capacity crowd and stands next to Hudson, Lee, and Ascott. His music soon dies down and the crowd looks to the entrance for Y2K.] RA: His opponent is the reigning Cruiserweight Champion of the SWF. From Greenwich, CT, he is Yancy Kilpatrick...Y2K!! [Y2K walks out of the locker room area wearing blue jeans and an SWF t-shirt. The Cruiserweight Championship is slung over one shoulder and he has a heavy padded brace on his right leg. He walks slowly to the ring without entry music or his manager.] BH: Okay, I'm going to ask the question that most everyone here wants answered. Mr. Kilpatrick, are you planning to forfeit your title? Y2K: I'm afraid so, Mr. Hudson. My doctors have talked with Alex Tyler and I've been told that I won't be allowed to wrestle any more without medical clearance. Much as I hate to do this... EL: Tell the truth for once in your life "champ" and admit you're running from a better wrestler!! Y2K: Well, Ernie, since all I see in the ring besides Mr. Hudson and Mr. Ascott is you and Dodger, I guess the better wrestler would have to be...who? [The Artful Dodger looks about to say something but waits patiently, sensing this might be a Trinity setup.] EL: I could beat you with both hands tied behind my... [Before Ernie Lee can finish his thought, Y2K takes the Cruiserweight Championship and smashes him in the face with it. Lee collapses to the canvas unconscious (or doing a good job at faking to avoid another shot).] Y2K: As I was saying, Mr. Hudson...much as I hate to do this, I'm here to award The Artful Dodger this belt. Congratulations...but remember one thing... [As Y2K hands the belt to Dodger, he reaches into his pocket and *POOF* throws a fireball at the new champion. Dodger drops the belt and stumbles into the corner holding his face.] Y2K: The New Millennium is coming, Dodger...and Y2K will be the SWF Cruiserweight Champion again. You never beat me for that belt and, when I come to take it back, we'll see if you're up to the challenge!! [Y2K leaves the ring as Brandon Hudson looks to the fallen champion and his broadcast partner.] RA: The winner...and New Cruiserweight Champion...as a result of a forfeit...THE ARTFUL DODGER!! [The scene cuts to a commercial as a shaken Ernie Lee helps Brandon Hudson escort Dodger to the locker room area. Simon Phoenix and Night Shade Lane walk in and take their spot at the announcer table] NS: That was pretty low if I do say so myself... SP: Did it surprise you? NS: I wouldn't of said it if it didn't... [Shade adjusts the mic and gets in position] NS: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the second have of the show.... I am Night Shade Lane and with me is my partner and co-host Simon Phoenix. SP: It has been a night of surprises and brutality here so far and we haven't even gotten to the main event for the World Title. NS: That's one I can't wait for... Fatal Fury kicking the ***Bleep*** out SP: Equalizer has been on top of his game here lately, so don't be surprise if he turns the tables on Fury. NS: Well Fury is sure to put him through a few during the match. SP: Be that as it may we have one match to get through before the main event. NS: And this one is for another belt... damn this almost seems like a PPV with all these belts on the line tonight. SP: Yep, this one is for the Toughman Title... with the SWF Toughman Champion The Budman and his opponent The Mad Hatter. NS: Hatter may surprise everyone tonight... hope The Budman isn't too cocky. SP: The lights are flickering and Rick is in the ring. RA: This contest is a falls-count-anywhere-match scheduled for one fall. It is for the SWF Toughman Title. [The arena lights begin to dim as Beethoven's "Symphony No.5" begins to play over the sound system. The crowd boos loudly.] RA: Introducing first... Led to the ring by Alice... Hailing from Through The Looking Glass... Weighing in at 308 pounds... The Mad Hatter [A single spotlight appears over the entrance. Suddenly, Alice appears holding a cup of tea. She starts down the aisle and stops about ten feet from the entrance, turns to the opening and sips from the tea cup. She then holds it up towards the entrance as the Mad Hatter enters the arena. As Hatter and Alice get inside the ring The Mad Hatter removes his hat and coat and hands them to Alice as the music fades and is replaced with "Better Than You". As the music grows louder laser lights shoot through out the arena and the jumbotron ignites with the red letters of Trinity] RA: And his opponent...fighting out of St. Louis Missouri... Weighing in at 247 pounds... The SWF Toughman Champion... The Budman [The Budman enters from behind the curtain wearing his Toughman Belt. He is followed by Death Jester, Y2K and The Equalizer.] NS: Well, well, well the gangs all here. SP: Not quite...where's the Copycat? I thought for sure he would be here to help his Bud. NS: The hell with him... where is Misty. He never comes out without her at his side SP: I hope they are not having a falling out... I don't think I could go through another one. NS: Well if they are let me be the first in line...she is HOT! [Phoenix pours a glass of water on Shade] NS: What'd ya do that for? SP: You needed to be cooled off just a touch. NS: I am cool all the time... [The four men walk slowly down to the ring waving to the cheering crowd] SP: You can definitely tell who is favored here tonight. [Budman turns and says a few words to his partners and they take front row seats as The Budman slides into the ring] NS: I guess no one is going to interfere with this match. SP: And speaking of matches this on is just about to start. [bell rings] [They lock up. The Budman hits The Mad Hatter. The Mad Hatter hits The Budman. The cheers for The Mad Hatter are drowning out the boos. The Budman kicks The Mad Hatter. The Budman is starting to get more cheers than boos. The Budman punches The Mad Hatter. The Mad Hatter hits The Budman. The Mad Hatter chops The Budman. All of a sudden, the boos are turning into almost unanimous cheers. The Mad Hatter goes for a slap, but The Budman blocks it.] SP: That's right Budman you counter the powerful slap! NS: A few sec into the match and they are brawling. [The Budman chops The Mad Hatter. The Budman is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos. The Mad Hatter chops The Budman. The crowd seems to be rallying behind The Mad Hatter. The Mad Hatter punches The Budman. The Mad Hatter executes a European uppercut on The Budman. The Mad Hatter takes The Budman down with an earringer. The Mad Hatter kicks The Budman. The Budman hits The Mad Hatter. The Mad Hatter hits The Budman. The Mad Hatter punches The Budman. The Mad Hatter kicks The Budman. The Mad Hatter goes for a slap, but The Budman blocks it.] SP: Once again Budman evades a powerful slap. NS: Enough with the slaps already. We can see who the favorite of this match is. Hatter all the way. [The Budman hits The Mad Hatter. The Budman hits The Mad Hatter. The Budman is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos. The Budman goes for the Rocker Dropper, but The Mad Hatter blocks it. The Mad Hatter hits The Budman with a bridging back suplex. Both combatants' shoulders are on the mat. Kevin Smith counts: One, The Mad Hatter lifts a shoulder, two, kickout.] SP: Great move by the Hatter. NS: Yea they were almost both counted out. [The Mad Hatter hits The Budman. The Mad Hatter kicks The Budman. The Budman chops The Mad Hatter. The Budman takes The Mad Hatter down with a fist to the midsection. The Budman uses a superkick on The Mad Hatter. The Budman executes a dropkick on The Mad Hatter. The Budman goes for a front facelock, but The Mad Hatter counters it with a backdrop. In turn, The Budman counters it with a sunset flip. Kevin Smith counts: One, two, kickout. The Budman uses a kneelift on The Mad Hatter. The Budman takes The Mad Hatter down with a kneebreaker. The Budman throws The Mad Hatter out of the ring. The Budman goes through the ropes. The Budman executes the The Hangover on The Mad Hatter on the concrete floor.] SP: Oh that had to hurt...The Hangover on the concrete floor. NS: Hatters going to feel that one in the morning. [The Budman is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos. The Budman whips The Mad Hatter into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Mad Hatter is handed the ring bell. The Mad Hatter hits him with the ring bell.] SP: Ding! NS: Dong! [The Mad Hatter acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Mad Hatter throws The Budman back into the ring. The Mad Hatter nails The Budman with a forearm to the back. The Mad Hatter hits The Budman with a rabbit punch. The Mad Hatter takes The Budman down with a short clothesline. The Mad Hatter acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him. The Mad Hatter laughs maniacally & runs around the ring. The Mad Hatter acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him. The Mad Hatter executes the Wonderland on The Budman.] SP: What a come back by Hatter and the wonderland on the Budman! [Kevin Smith counts: One,] SP: The Budman isn't moving. NS: This could be it. [two,] SP: The Budman is coming to.. NS: He's positioning is body toward the ropes [in the ropes...] SP: And Budman gets out. [The Mad Hatter uses a rabbit punch on The Budman. The Mad Hatter hits a short clothesline on The Budman. The Mad Hatter goes for the Wonderland, but The Budman counters it with a facerake. The Budman uses a kneelift on The Mad Hatter. The Budman goes for a chokehold, but The Mad Hatter blocks it. The Budman begs off. The Mad Hatter goes for a double chickenwing submission, but The Budman blocks it. The Budman uses a bulldog on The Mad Hatter. The Budman runs into the ropes. The Mad Hatter hits The Budman with a clothesline. The Budman falls out of the ring. The Mad Hatter goes through the ropes.] SP: On the outside once again. NS: Where the Hatter is most dangerous. [The Mad Hatter whips The Budman into the guardrail. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Budman knocks The Mad Hatter into the ringpost. The Budman is handed a road sign. The Budman hits him with the road sign. The Budman hits him with a road sign. The road sign is broken in half. The Budman hits The Mad Hatter with a kick to the midsection. The Budman is going for the pin. Kevin Smith counts: One, two, shoulder up.] SP: And the Budman with the shoulder up. A near three count. NS: I don't see how the Hatter is still conscience after that road sign. [[They're brawling inside the ring area. The Mad Hatter is handed monitor. The Mad Hatter hits him with the monitor. The Mad Hatter is getting a pissed look amidst all the boos. The Mad Hatter knocks The Budman into the ring post. The Mad Hatter whips The Budman into the guardrail. The Mad Hatter gets a half Boston on The Budman. The Budman is valiantly trying to break the hold. The Mad Hatter lets go after 15 seconds. The Mad Hatter is handed tire iron. The Mad Hatter hits him with the iron.] SP: first that monitor and now the tire iron.. NS: The Arn weapon of choice. [The Mad Hatter doesn't quite know what to do with the mixed reaction he's getting. The Mad Hatter whips The Budman into the guardrail. The Mad Hatter takes The Budman down with a facerake. The Mad Hatter reenters the ring. The Budman follows him back in. The Budman brings the table into the ring. The Budman takes The Mad Hatter down with a punch. The Budman sets up The Mad Hatter on the table. The Budman executes a DDT through the table. The table didn't break.] SP: What does that table say? NS: Hmmm...."Made in U.S.A." Damn right! [The Budman throws The Mad Hatter out of the ring. The Budman goes through the ropes. The Budman is handed the Beer Keg. The Budman hits him with the Beer Keg. The Budman is going for the pin. Kevin Smith counts: One, shoulder up. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Budman sets up The Mad Hatter on the table. The Budman executes a power bomb through the table. The table didn't break.] SP: Oh damn!! NS: Both men are getting killed out there. SP: SWF more extreme than the rest. [The crowd seems to be rallying behind The Budman. They're brawling inside the ring area. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Mad Hatter takes The Budman down with a rabbit punch. The Mad Hatter throws The Budman back into the ring. The Mad Hatter catches The Budman in a chokehold. The Budman is valiantly trying to break the hold. The Budman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds. The Budman begs off. The Mad Hatter catches The Budman in a chokehold. The Budman is struggling to reach the ropes. The Budman is valiantly trying to break the hold. The Budman reaches the ropes after being trapped for 9 seconds.] SP: Hatter trying to make the Budman pass out. NS: But Budman gets to the ropes as fast as he can. [The Mad Hatter hits a facerake on The Budman. The Mad Hatter throws The Budman out of the ring. The Mad Hatter goes through the ropes. The Mad Hatter sets up The Budman on the table. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Mad Hatter hits The Budman with a vertical suplex. The Mad Hatter whips The Budman into the guardrail. The Mad Hatter uses a forearm to the back on The Budman. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Budman is handed a keyboard. The Budman hits him with the keyboard.] SP: Pardon me is this your keyboard? NS: Well at least they don't have a slogan of if you break it you bought it. SP: But I loved that keyboard... it had perfect lines.... NS: And speaking of perfect lines look who just walked in to watch the match. [Phoenix looks towards the rear of the arena to see Misty Forest walking down the aisle with a low cut green dress and that barely reaches the top of her thighs] NS: Oh momma... you can come of here and sit by me... would you look at tooks gams... SP: Down boy she is already taken by The Budman.... NS: Well he busy now isn't he and poor little Misty needs someone to take care of her. SP: Oh I Misty has all the help she needs. [Misty walks over to the ring and stands near the ropes watching the match] [The crowd seems to be rallying behind The Budman. The Budman hits him with a keyboard. The Budman executes a punch on The Mad Hatter. The Budman hits him with the keyboard. They're brawling inside the ring area. They're brawling inside the ring area. The Mad Hatter throws The Budman over the guardrail. The Mad Hatter nails The Budman with a rabbit punch. They're brawling behind the guardrail. [Suddenly a small tear begins to appear in the mat.] [Misty Forest motions to Kevin Smith to come over to ask a question. Smith looks at the two contestants and walks over to where she is standing] SP: Would you look at that...Misty Forest is distracting the referee. NS: Well with a body like that, she could distract the dead. [The crowd starts to cheer loudly. Phoenix looks back to the ring and sees that the rip is growing larger and something appears to be poking through.] SP: OH MY GOD! THERE IS SOMETHING COMING UP THROUGH THE RING! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? NS: I don't know, but I'm willing to bet it isn't good. [A man dressed like The Mad Hatter comes up through the ring. He performs the Wonderland on The Mad Hatter. The crowd is in a frenzy] NS/SP: UH OH! SP: Com'on Smith get your eyes back in their sockets and look at what is going on. NS: Well you really can't blame the guy... he is looking at what is going on. [The man pushes The Mad Hatter through the hole.] SP: The second Hatter just send Hatter number one down the rabbit hole with The Wonderland. NS: And Kevin Smith is still taking in the scenic beauty that Misty is offering to him. NS: What's this? He's dressed like The Mad Hatter, and The Budman is going to pin him. Come on ref! [Kevin Smith turns around and sees the pin.] Kevin Smith begins to count: One SP: Well it is about time... Two.... NS: hey I know this one... it's about space... Three! SP: It's about a man in a very strange place.... NS: Uh that is not how it goes... SP: Look here we have Mad Hatter... and another Mad Hatter and one Mad Hatter is gone who knows where while the second Hatter lies down for the pin... and you are going to tell me that this is not a strange place. NS: You got a point there son... and be that as it may... The Budman had retained his belt and is still the SWF Toughman Champion!!! SP You know I think they killed The Mad Hatter... he's not moving! NS: You bastards! [Misty Forest smiles and hands The Budman his Toughman Belt as Kevin Smith walks over and raises his right hand] KS: The winner and still SWF Toughman Champion!!!!!! THE BUDMAN NS: I am still unsure of what just happened... SP: Well let me recap for you... The Budman just retained the Toughman Title against The Hatter. NS: Thank you for that important information and while Trinity celebrates in the ring it is time for a commercial break] [Commercial (taken from a poster)... Darth Mall appears on the screen with a glass of milk and a milk mustache... He beings to speak... DM: When I am out slaughtering jedi I don't have time to worry about getting enough calcium. That's why I drink milk. It's 9 essential nutrients help keep my bones strong, which is good, because I would look real stupid if one of my horns broke off. Caption appears... MILK... where's your mustache.... Commercial fades] SP: He is so cool... NS: Not as cool as Yoda though... SP: No one is as cool as Yoda.. SP: OK our final match is for the SWF World Title championship. We have the two time World Champion Equalizer... NS: Two time? I thought it was three times. SP: I have checked my records and found that he won it once from Animal... then Shhh took it away from him and then he won it at this last PPV... and in my vast knowledge of match... that adds up to two. NS: The why does he keep saying three? SP: How the hell should I know... we are talking about Equalizer after all. NS: OK so we have E vs Fatal Fury right? [The phone rings and Phoenix answers it] SP: Phoenix here... What's that? You're kidding right? HAHAHA couldn't of happened to a nicer guy... Yep, we can handle that... now who is it again... OK you got it... [Phoenix hangs up the phone and turns to Night Shade] SP: In answer to your previous question it seems that the answer is no that is not right. NS: What are you babbling about Phoenix? SP: That was the main office... seems that E isn't going to be here tonight. NS: That loser... that coward... SP: Unfortunately it is not like that... seems his flight was cancelled and he is stuck in some hick airport and can't get here. NS: Likely story, he just didn't want to face Fury for the title. Is Shhh going to strip him of it? Seems to be doing that a lot you know. SP: Unfortunately there is not way he can do it so he is stuck with Equalizer as a World Champion till he can get him in the ring with someone capable of defeating him. NS: Fury's capable... SP: We are going to see just how capable Fury is... NS: Well with know one to fight he is going to be looking pretty good out there. SP: Now Shade, when have you ever known Shhh to let a little thing as a no show ruin an entire show? NS: Uh oh that doesn't sound good... at least for Fury... so what's up? SP: It seems that Mr. Shhh is not a happy person and needs to take it out on someone... and guess who that someone is going to be... NS: Fury? SP: EXACTLY! Ladies and gentlemen out next match is going to be a 3 on 1 handicap match. NS You gotta be sh#tting me... SP: SHADE this is a family show you can't say that on the air... now just bare with us and listen to this match lineup. [The house lights begin to darken as Rick Ascott comes into the ring. "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC begins to blare] NS: Some how a fitting song for the gruesome threesome. RA: Ladies and gentlemen this contest is a 3-on-1 handicap match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first at a total combined weight of 870 pounds... The t.W.o. consisting of: Cpl. Punishment, Monster Mark and Time Warp SP: You gotta be kidding... Fury against the t.W.o. what insane person cooked this up? NS: Two guesses... SP: Shhh? NS: Nope...guess number two... SP: Then it had to be Mr. Commiss himself... Pagan NS: You got it... The Family hates Fury almost as much as they hate Equalizer. SP: Yeah but three on one... there is just no way... Fury will be killed. Look at the size of those SOBs. NS: Well Fury has been around for a long time it is time for him to leave and what better way to go out then in a match with three guys. [Smoke rises from the floor as Cpl. Punishment, Monster Mark and Time Warp step on to the platform to the boos of the crowd. The walk down the aisle yelling insults at the fans who are throwing things at them. As all three men enter the ring their music fades and is replace with "And Justice For All" by Metallica.] RA: Their opponent...Fighting out of Los Angeles, California... Weighing in at 294 pounds... Fatal Fury [Fatal Fury emerges on the platform as fireworks shoot up from around the arena] NS: The man really knows how to make and entrance [The crowd has a mixed reaction as Fury stands briefly looking at the crowd then walks towards the ring where the t.W.o. are standing yelling at him] SP: I knew Fury when... in his prime he may of stood a chance, but not now... boy is he ever screwed? NS: Well at least the severance pay should cover his hospital bills. [Fatal Fury ignores the t.W.o. and steps into the ring] SP: So it seems like this massacre is about to get underway. And Monster Mark will start out in the ring with Fury. [the bell rings] NS: Oh yeah I can see they picked the lighter of the three to go in first. SP: Do I detect a bit of sarcasm in your voice Shade? They lock up. Monster Mark runs into the ropes. Monster Mark hits Fatal Fury with an enzuilariato. Fatal Fury whips Monster Mark into the ropes. Monster Mark uses a short lariat on Fatal Fury. Richard Roundtree counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up. NS: Well if this is the way the match is starting Fury doesn't have a snowballs chance in hell. Shhh er Pagan set him up good this time. SP: Shhh, Pagan makes no difference... Monster Mark executes a legdrop on Fatal Fury. Monster Mark goes for a sleeperhold, but Fatal Fury blocks it. Fatal Fury runs into the ropes. Fatal Fury goes for a lariat, but Monster Mark blocks it. SP: Well here it starts... Fury won't last long now... Cpl. Punishment enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Cpl. Punishment hits a flying fistdrop on Fatal Fury. The decibel level in the building is unbelievable. Monster Mark gets a cobra clutch on Fatal Fury. NS: They are not letting up... this could be it for Fury. SP: He is giving it everything he has, but the look on his face is one of pain. If he can only stretch that arm a little further. Fatal Fury reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Cpl. Punishment leaves the ring. NS: And good riddens to him... Monster Mark goes for a short lariat, but Fatal Fury counters it with a Gorilla Press. Fatal Fury whips Monster Mark into the ropes. Monster Mark executes a swinging neckbreaker on Fatal Fury. Monster Mark goes for the Monster Mash, but Fatal Fury counters it with a single-leg takedown. Fatal Fury puts Monster Mark in a sleeperhold. SP: Would you look at that..against all odds and Fury has him in a sleeperhold. NS: Nite, nite Mark... don't forget to check for Monsters under your bed. SP: Sometimes you are really bad Shade. NS: Hey you taught me most of what I know. Monster Mark is struggling to reach the ropes. Monster Mark is valiantly trying to break the hold. Monster Mark reaches the ropes after being trapped for 7 seconds. SP: Yup... had to go for the rope... he couldn't break out of Fury's sleeper hold... NS: Maybe Fury has a chance after all. {Phoenix and Shade look at eachother] SP& NS: NAHHHHHHHH Fatal Fury uses a Hotshot on Monster Mark. Fatal Fury takes Monster Mark down with a kneedrop. Fatal Fury nails Monster Mark with a Tombstone. Fatal Fury is getting a good reaction from the crowd. Fatal Fury goes for a belly-to-back suplex, but Monster Mark counters it with an elbowsmash. Monster Mark hits a double-axhandle chop on Fatal Fury. Monster Mark kicks Fatal Fury. A wave of boos is going through the crowd. Monster Mark tags out to Time Warp. SP: A good run for Fury against Monster Mark and here comes Time Warp. NS: Yep... fresh and ready to go... but wait Monster Mark hasn't left yet. SP: Do they ever leave when they are suppose to? NS: So I guess we have a little two on one in store... SP: You never know they just may make it three on one. NS: Yes Roundtree has never been known for his eyesight. Monster Mark nails Fatal Fury with a Hotshot. The crowd is booing Monster Mark. Time Warp executes a flying somersault headbutt on Fatal Fury. A wave of boos is going through the crowd. Monster Mark leaves the ring. Time Warp executes a moonsault on Fatal Fury. Richard Roundtree counts: One, two, kickout. Time Warp whips Fatal Fury into the ropes, but Fatal Fury reverses it. Fatal Fury hits Time Warp with a kick. SP: A good reverse by Fury followed up with a kick to the midsection and Time Warp is doubled over. Fatal Fury goes for a headbutt, but Time Warp blocks it. Monster Mark enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Monster Mark takes Fatal Fury down with a short lariat. Time Warp hits a diving shoulderblock on Fatal Fury. Time Warp is starting to get under the crowd's skin. NS: Fatal Fury could be in trouble here... Monster Mark and Time Warp have him backed into a corner and there seems to be no way out. Time Warp and Monster Mark hit Fatal Fury with a double elbowdrop. Time Warp and Monster Mark whip Fatal Fury into the ropes. They hit Fatal Fury with a double elbowsmash. Monster Mark leaves the ring. Time Warp runs into the ropes. Time Warp hits an Asai moonsault on Fatal Fury. Richard Roundtree counts: One, two, shoulder up. SP: How can one man stand up to that punishment? NS: Fatal Fury is no pansy... he can hold up longer then any man I know when it comes to a beating like this. SP: Oh I wouldn't say any man NS: Well he is as good as any man here in this league and better then most. Time Warp places Fatal Fury on the turnbuckle. Time Warp hits Fatal Fury with a belly-to-belly superplex. Time Warp punches Fatal Fury. Time Warp is starting to get under the crowd's skin. Quite a few boos are audible. SP: The crowd here are expressing their dissatisfaction with Time Warp. NS: Let's just say it is not a good Time for him. SP: Again Shade? NS: Well at least I'm trying. Time Warp whips Fatal Fury into the turnbuckle. Time Warp executes a dropkick to the knee on Fatal Fury. Time Warp hits Fatal Fury with a jumping elbow thrust. Quite a few boos are audible. Time Warp hits a chop on Fatal Fury. Time Warp executes a diving shoulderblock on Fatal Fury. Time Warp gives the sign for the Time Machine. Time Warp executes the Time Machine on Fatal Fury. SP: And Fatal Fury fought one hell of a match but it looks like his reign is coming to an end...there is no way he is going to make it out of this one. Time Warp goes for the pin. Richard Roundtree counts: One, two, NS: Fatal Fury is not moving and it looks like the Family has finally won one. thr... kickout. SP: He kicked out... I don't believe it Fury kicked out! NS: I've never seen anything like it... I thought sure Time Warp had the three count. Time Warp uses an enzuigiri on Fatal Fury. Time Warp uses a jumping neck snap on Fatal Fury. Time Warp hits Fatal Fury with a diving shoulderblock. Time Warp hits Fatal Fury with a knee to the back. SP: Fatal Fury is grabbing his back... I personally think it was a little low... more towards the kidney area. NS: The t.W.o. are giving Fury everything they have. And they still have a fresh man waiting to go in. SP: I don't think that is going to happen... Fury is looking tired out there. Time Warp takes Fatal Fury down with a jumping elbow thrust. Time Warp is going for the pin. Richard Roundtree counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up. Time Warp nails Fatal Fury with a moonsault. Richard Roundtree counts: One, two, in the ropes... SP: Two near pins back to back... how does he do it... NS: Well Time Warp just... SP: Not Time Warp you moron... I am talking about Fury. Time Warp locks Fatal Fury in a double reverse chinlock. Fatal Fury is struggling to reach the ropes. Fatal Fury tries to escape the hold. Time Warp lets go after 14 seconds. Time Warp uses a jumping neck snap on Fatal Fury. Time Warp is starting to get under the crowd's skin. Time Warp hits Fatal Fury with a chop. Time Warp uses a Frankensteiner on Fatal Fury. Richard Roundtree counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up. Time Warp hits a moonsault on Fatal Fury. Richard Roundtree counts: One, two, thr... kickout. SP: Fatal Fury is trying to get up and Time Warp is making sure he stays down. NS: Well he's not doing a very good job... it doesn't look like anything is going to keep him down tonight. Time Warp runs into the ropes. Fatal Fury puts Time Warp in a sleeperhold. SP: Great move by Fatal Fury. Time Warp comes off the ropes into the arms of Fury... NS: That sleeperhold should do the trick if he can maintain it... he is looking pretty beat up out there. Time Warp reaches the ropes after being trapped for 5 seconds. Fatal Fury goes for a chokehold, but Time Warp blocks it. Time Warp tags out to Cpl. Punishment. SP: Oh my God! Time Warp made the tag and Cpl. Punishment is in the ring... can Fury stand up to a fresh man? NS:Fatal Fury has gone through two of Shhh's men and has done OK but Cpl. Punishment is readto put him away. I just don't think Fury is up for the task. Cpl. Punishment and Time Warp hit Fatal Fury with a double chop. Time Warp leaves the ring. Cpl. Punishment hits a dropkick on Fatal Fury. Cpl. Punishment tags out to Time Warp. Time Warp and Cpl. Punishment hit Fatal Fury with a double superplex. Time Warp leaves the ring. Cpl. Punishment executes a Frankensteiner on Fatal Fury. Richard Roundtree counts: One, two, thr... shoulder up. SP: See this is what I was talking about... Fury is exhausted and is going to have trouble standing up. NS: Oh I think your wrong Phoenix... Fury is getting his second wind. SP: More like his fifth or sixth. Cpl. Punishment attempts to place Fatal Fury on the turnbuckle, but Fatal Fury blocks it. Cpl. Punishment uses a diving shoulderblock on Fatal Fury. Cpl. Punishment catches Fatal Fury in a Boston crab. Fatal Fury is struggling to reach the ropes. SP: Fatal Fury is moving mighty slow. NS: But he is moving... look at the determination on that man's face. Fatal Fury reaches the ropes after being trapped for 12 seconds. SP: Man you are right! Look at him... it seems like he is bring forth everything he has... NS: This man has been to hell and back again and... I don't know Phoenix... I don't think I have ever seen that look in his eye before. SP: That my friend is the look of a World Champion... NS: But he is not in a battle for the title. SP: But he will be... and I feel sorry for his opponent. Cpl. Punishment goes for a jumping elbow thrust, but Fatal Fury ducks out of the way. Fatal Fury executes the Furious Fall on Cpl. Punishment . SP: WHAT DID I TELL YOU! The man has just shocked Cpl. Punishment and nailed him with his finisher. NS: Did you see the power behind it.. SP: Not only did I see it...Cpl. Punishment will be feeling it for days! Richard Roundtree counts: One, two, three. The crowd is cheering on Fatal Fury. SP: Shhh is not going to be a happy man about this one... [Richard Roundtree walks to the center of the ring and raises Fatal Fury right arm] RR: The winner in a time of 8 minutes and 7 seconds FATAL FURY SP: I can't believe it... Fury took on The Family and kicked their asses... NS: three on one.... he has beat fantastic odds... [The crowd is going into a frenzy as Fatal Fury raises his arms in celebration. Suddenly the arena lights dim and the jumbotron explodes with multicolor arrays of light and The Family appears on screen as "Money" by Pink Floyd begins to play. The crowd's cheers goes to boos as Mr. Shhh who is flanked by The Sandman and Pagan appear at the back of the arena] MS [ a smirk come across his face]: Just listen to them... they really love us... S: Yep sounds like a bunch of coyotes going after their last meal. [The three men walk confidently down the aisle and climb into the ring. Mr. Shhh looks down at the listless bodies of the t.W.o.] P: Good thing they are only a branch of The Family.... this is embarassing. MS: You know you are right Pagan. First McKenzie and now the Motley Fools here.. so let's get someone in here that can do the job. [Shhh holds up his hands to try and silence the crowd but the booing becomes louder. Shhh smiles, turns to Fury and as he begins to speak the crowd dies down. Mr. Shhh puts his arm over Fury's shoulders and Fury removes it. Shhh nods in understanding] MS: Well Fury tonight you fought one hell of a fight against heavy odds. I didn't think you could do it but you certainly proved me wrong. [A confused look comes over Fury's face] MS: Yes indeed Fury you have more talent in your little finger then... oh let's see... McKenzie has in his fat body... FF: Listen, tell me something I don't already know. I don't have all day. MS: Where is all this leading to you might ask... FF: I was wondering when you were going to get to that part. MS: I am offering you a spot in The Family... as our new Family champion... why with us behind you... why hell you could be World Champion is just a few days... what do you say.... [Fury stares at Shhh, then stares around the building. He stares back at Shhh.] FF: Now let me get this straight...since the only guy your little "Family" ever had that was any good is The Headhunter, and he's out of action, and since the only guy who was able to give him a run for his money is me...you're asking me to replace him, do I have that right? MS: Yeah, that about sums it up... your good and you deserve the recognition and rewards that we can offer you... FF: First off, you don't have to tell me I'm good. These people know I'm good. But I earned my recognition by earning my stripes the old-fashioned way. So.... [Camera pans the back of the arena a focuses on Sean McKenzie who is heading down the aisle towards the ring] SP: Damn he looks pissed... [Sean slides into the ring and starts to go up to Mr. Shhh. The Sandman steps between them] Sean: What the hell are ye doing Alex? Where do ye get of offering Fury my spot? I deserve another chance at the title. [Mr. Shhh narrows his eyes and looks at Sean] MS: Well Sean it's been a nice run... but let's face it you're washed up... Sean: Washed up my arse I will kill ye with me bare hands right here and now. [Sean lunges at Mr. Shhh but Sandman nails him with a clothesline.] MS: Now Sean you know the rules around here. [Sean picks himself up and looks at Mr. Shhh] Sean: I have had enough of this crap around here... the hell with ye and the hell with this league. Ye can take this league and shove it up ye arse fer all I care. [Mr. Shhh gets a concerned look on his face and turns to Sean] MS: Look Sean you know this is only business. Hell you are closer to me then anyone in this league. When I say blood... you are as close as anyone can get. [Sean nods and thinks about what Shhh is saying. Shhh reaches out his hand and Sean grabs it in a hard handshake] NS: Damn I knew he couldn't do it... I mean after all Sean and Shhh are from the same part of the country. SP: Well I am glad something has gone right for Sean. He has been getting the short end of the stick lately. [Mr. Shhh draws Sean a bit closer and puts his arm around him and smiles... Sean grows more relaxed] MS: But yo know Sean... you lost to Equalizer... and that just can't happen here... NS: What did he just say... what is going on... SP: I don't know but I don't think it is a good thing. MS: So as you can see Sean you can't quit... because you're fired!! SP: He can't do that.... I don't know what he is trying to prove but I know he can't do that. NS: Well he just did didn't he. [Sean backs away from Mr. Shhh and starts to clench his fists] MS: And besides we have Fury here to take your place... SP: Look out Shhh that man is going to kill you. MS: So for the record... well I guess you're out. And by the way Jezebel gives her regards... you should be hearing from her lawyer in the morning. [Sean heads towards Mr. Shhh but Cpl. Punishment hits him with a pair of brass knuckles] NS: Sean is down on the mat and blood is oozing from the back of his head. [Sean looks around and grabs The Sandman by the cuffs of his pants and pulls his legs out from under him. As Sean tries to get up The t.W.o. jump him and start beating him as Shhh smiles and looks on. Pagan looks at McKenzie then at Shhh and backs up towards the ropes where Fury is standing] SP: What's up with Pagan? Why isn't he in on this? [Shhh walks over to where the two are standing and Pagan slides out of the ring and walks towards the back as Shhh watches him leave. He then turns back to Fury and points to McKenzie who's body is lying lifeless on the mat bleeding profusely as the attendants bring in a stretcher] MS: You see Fury... MccKenzie can't even handle three guys that you have already beaten tonight... what a disappointment he is... So now back to my original question... Fame and riches... The Family Champion position is being offered... what do you say... FF: First off, you don't have to tell me I'm good. These people know I'm good. But I earned my recognition by earning my stripes the old-fashioned way. So the question is this. Is Fatal Fury in your price range? MS: Oh good are we negotiating? FF: Always MS: Then name your price FF: It's up to you to make me an offer I can't refuse, and I don't do my negotiating in public. [Fatal Fury smiles at Mr. Shhh as he leaves the ring and heads to the back.] NS: So what was his answer? SP: We don't know... but as I said earlier this card has been full of surprises and as it is late and we don't get paid overtime... NS: As always this is Night Shade Lane and Simon Phoenix... along with Brandon Hudson and Ernie Lee saying.... NS: Good Fight.... Good Night....