(The scene opens on black and white footage of a parking lot as "One Vision" by Queen begins to play. We see the Thugz rapidly exit their Impala and walk into an arena through a door marked "Wrestler only". Cut to a hallway, where Mike Janiack is interviewing Biggie Z. Cut to a corridor, where the Artful Dodger, in his multi-pocketed jacket, is warming up by shadowboxing. Cut to the locker room area, where Lady Jezebel is helping Sean McKenzie tape up his wrists. Cut to the wardrobe room, where Hot Shot Donovan is posing before a full-length mirror. We move to an area just behind the curtain entrance onto the rampway, where the camera is positioned just behind The Judge, who is wearing his street clothes. We walk through the curtain onto the ramp with him, standing behind The Judge as he gazes at the empty arena and watches the ring crew put the ring together. The Judge raises both hands in the air... ...and the image is transformed from black-and-white to color. The arena is full, the fireworks are going off, the crowd is cheering (soundlessly), and The Judge is in his powdered wig and robe. Cut to a shot of Dax Lemming, in a tuxedo, at the timekeeper's table. He rings the bell, we see a close-up of the hammer striking the bell, and the SWF Ringside Report logo is superimposed over the bell. The music begins to fade as we cut to Mike Janiack, Dax Lemming and Cat Spencer in the studio. The camera pans around showing the studio. On the wall there are various pictures of wrestlers. Some of the pictures are of Pagan executing the Final Judgement on HardRock, The Judge holding up the International title, Moon Dog Gator executing the D-Dog-T on Doug Bacon and a picture of all the Church members. Cut to the other side of the studio where copies of all the Championship belts are in there various cases, hanging on the wall. The camera closes in on the belts where the name of the title holder is, right beneath the belt in gold plating. Cut to right behind the announcer's table where a picture of each announcer can been seen. The camera pans around some more until finally focusing in on the announcers once again.) MJ: Welcome to the studio, welcome to the number one wrestling news show on cable, welcome to the Ringside Report. The SWF mailbag has gotten tons of e-mails from fans telling the SWF what they think about the resurrection of Ringside Report. Some are good, some are bad, and some we shouldn't care about. I am joined with my co-hosts, first, the man that we all hate... DL: ...Dax "The Green Haired" Lemming. MJ: Uhh, oookay. We are also joined by the coolest cat in the land... CS: ...Cat Spencer. By the way Mike, isn't your isn't your intro to Dax much like Chip's intro to the Fool at TT? MJ: Yes, but the SWF provides me with these intros, I don't make 'em up. Also, Dax, what in the world is up with your nickname? The Green Haired? DL: Listen, humanoids, have you ever played "Lemming's paintball"? CS: You mean the really bad computer game? With those little dwarfs? DL: If you like to put it that way. Well, if you say my name quickly is sound like Dax the green haired Lemming. Because my last name is Lemming. Get it?... MJ: ...Got it... DL: ...Good. MJ: Well, despite Dax's change, we still have a great show for you tonight. We will have results of the past week in SWF television, plus all the news and rumors you could ever ask for. And also, an in-depth interview with the Judge, and the premier of Maxx Factor. Let's see if Dax here can top the performance by Cat Spencer last week. CS: Thank you Mike. And just so you know, since I am expecting Green Haired psycho to screw up one way or another tonight, I have my own questions for the Judge. I did this because people were expecting an interview this week, and I plan on giving them one. DL: Before anyone of you losers ask, I'm keeping Maxx Factor as the name of the show despite my new nickname for the sole reason, who wants to have a show called Green Haired Factor... or something like that. CS: Are you going to dye your hair green now? DL: By the end of the show, I will truly be the Green Haired Lemming, if you know what I mean. MJ: The stylist is on his way. CS: I guess that means that this wonderful, flowing hair of our friend Dax will all be gone by the end of the night. DL: Not gone, just green. MJ: Well fans, we have to take a break. When we come back, we show you what happened at Slaughterhouse. Don't go away! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Commercials for Triumphant Tuesday, Microsoft and Hostile Takeover '98. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- CS: Every weeks the SWF shows a bit of their hardcore side with it's hit Sunday night show, Slaughterhouse. Well, last week was no different, and Slaughterhouse was as hardcore, and as electric as it always is. The matches were: Tanner Boyle vs. The Judge in a Cage Match Biggie Z vs. Duke Diamond in a Table Match Hexx vs. Artful Dodger in a Strap Match and Thugz vs. The Living Dead in a tag title match. MJ: It was quite a card, which pretty much goes without saying. I mean, take a look at the line-up! DL: Well, it isn't THAT good. Let's just get to the first match of the evening, Biggie Z against Duke Diamond. CS: You mean, Duke "The Dream" Diamond. I wonder where he got that name. DL: Probably because he falls asleep in the middle of his matches. MJ: All kidding aside, this was a great match. DL: What are you talking about? This was all Biggie! MJ: Well, just so we can tell the people at home who didn't watch, Biggie piledrived Duke into the table to achieve the win. Dax, what's your take on this match? DL: A pretty worthless match if you ask me. You have Duke Diamond, who has one at most two matches in his SWF career. And then you have Biggie Z, the SWF Toughman champ. I don't care what anyone else says, this guy is the toughest man in the SWF, he beat Sandman for goodness sake! CS: But the match it self, well, Duke got his shots out, but he couldn't keep the big man down. Biggie Z just kept on coming back for more, and he delivered punishment as well. The Toughman champion was almost guarantied a win, and that's exactly what he got. MJ: Insight from the Green Haired Lemming, and the Cat himself. Thank you both. CS: We still have tons more matches to go over. What about the Judge against Tanner Boyle? And by the way, Artful Dodger beat Hexx in a strap match. MJ: Well wait a minute. Shouldn't we cover ALL the matches? CS: Okay, okay. Nice match, Dodger won, now let's move on! DL: Yea, talk about the Judge and Tanner Boyle. MJ: Okay, champion versus champion. The Judge, who will be here tonight, beat Tanner Boyle in controversial fashion. Let's go straight to a clip of the end of the match. -------------------------------------- The Judge hits a jumping elbow thrust on Tanner Boyle. A fan at ringside badmouths The Judge. The Judge tries to get out of the door. The Judge is halfway through the ring. The Judge is three quarters across the ring. The Judge is at the door. The Judge is on the way out. Tanner Boyle pulls him back in. TM: "The Judge almost had this match in the bag!" LC: "I'm sure he did." {Suddenly, a pair of figures drop from the rafters, wearing bungee cords.} TM: "What the....? Who are those two?" {The figures get out of their harnesses, and head towards Boyle.} LC: "The Thugz! The Thugz have entered through the top of the cage!" {The Thugz grab Boyle, and execute the 187 on Boyle.} TM: "The Thugz just nailed Tanner Boyle with their patented finisher!" LC: "The Judge is heading for the door...." The Judge tries to get out of the door. The Judge is halfway through the ring. The Judge is three quarters across the ring. The Judge is at the door. The Judge is on the way out. LC: "The Judge has this match won, I think." The Judge exits the cage. TM: "The Thugz have cost Tanner Boyle the match! But it looks like they aren't finished with him yet." C-Murder executes the Lockdown on Tanner Boyle. LC: "Is this match official?" MG: "The winner of this match.....The Judge!" LC: "I guess so. Wait a second, Shocker is going for the microphone." Shocker: "We warned ya Tanner, making fun of us doesn't ay very big dividends does it?? Next time, maybe you shouldn't open your mouth quite as much, or just not to people who can kick your hillbilly *beep* Stay out of Church business, or you could very well be sacrificed at the alter" {C-Murder releases Boyle, and steps back. The two spit on him, and leave the ring to the deafening boos of the crowd.} ---------------------------------------- DL: Yup, The Church, and more specifically the Thugz made quite an impact on Tanner Boyle this week. That'll teach him to mess with the most powerful force in wrestling today. MJ: So you think Tanner deserved to lose, and more importantly, to be attacked? DL: You heard me. MJ: Well there you have it, Dax doesn't give a damn about Tanner Boyle. CS: What I think is that Tanner Boyle crossed the line, and he paid dearly for it. The Church was ready to pounce from the beginning, and they did when the time was right. DL: What Tanner didn't know is that he won the TV belt from the Church. And as if that's not bad enough, he won it fairly. If you have the Church mad, why make them madder? CS: I'll tell you why, because Tanner is an idiot. He didn't learn from one mistake and made another. If he keeps playing his luck with the Church he will end his career, one way or another. Because if you play with fire... DL: ...Then you're a pyro. CS: Yes, but that wasn't what I wanted to say. I was going to say, if you play with fire you will get burned. And the Church is fire, I'll tell you all this right not. They are a force to be reckoned with. MJ: After that we had the big main event. The tag team champions, The Thugz, defended against former tag champs, and arguably one of the best tag teams in SWF history, the Living Dead. DL: This wasn't a fair match. The Dead should be champs! CS: Well, as you know Ground Zero have been gunning for those tag titles. And this was a golden opportunity for them to make an impact on everyone. Once again, his match is ended with an attack. Role footage... ----------------------------------- The Shocker executes an inverted power bomb on Mortis. The Shocker is starting to get more cheers than boos. The Shocker hits an atomic drop on Mortis. The Shocker hits Mortis. Mortis punches The Shocker. Mortis is starting to get more cheers than boos. Mortis kicks The Shocker. Mortis catches The Shocker in a chokehold. Sean Ceigersmidt warns Mortis to let go. Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, three. Mortis executes a dropkick to the knee on The Shocker. Mortis tags out to Rigor. TM: "And another tag by the former tag team." LC: "C-Murder doesn't want any more doubleteaming, and is going to do something about it. Finally. A wrestler with some initiative." C-Murder enters the ring and throws Mortis out of the ring. The Shocker and C-Murder hit Rigor with a double DDT. C-Murder leaves the ring. The Shocker goes for a brain buster, but Rigor counters it with a small package. Sean Ceigersmidt counts: One, two, kickout. Rigor runs into the ropes. The Shocker hits a choke slam on Rigor. A portion of the crowd is cheering The Shocker. The Shocker hits an inverted power bomb on Rigor. The Shocker is starting to get more cheers than boos. TM: "Shocker taking over Rigor, and showing him a rough time." LC: "Looking in the mirror is a rough time for Rigor." C-Murder enters the ring. C-Murder nails Rigor with a superkick. The Shocker executes a reverse flying elbowdrop and goes for the pin. The Shocker acknowledges the portion of the crowd which is cheering him. {Suddenly, Ground Zero hops the guardrail, carrying their chairs with them.} TM: "Uh-oh. Looks like trouble is about to happen." LC: "Are you ready for a little bit of Chaos? I hope so." {Ground Zero swing the chairs, and nail the Dead.} Sean Ceigersmidt disqualifies the Thugz. TM: "Ground Zero has levelled the Dead! Could the Thugz have hired them to keep their belts?" LC: "Maybe, but you would expect the Thugz to use something more original." [Ground Zero turns around and starts bashing C-Murder and The Shocker with the chairs] TM: "The Thugz are on the mat and Ground Zero wants to make sure they stay there. Black Jack is walking towards the center of the ring and is grabbing the mic." BJ: "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight those belts were to be ours, but the suits in this league...." {Black Jack points to Frenck, McNeill, Parker, and Clayton} BJ: "... have decided to screw us out of our match. So we decided to show the SWF just how we deal with the fact of being screwed over. We earned the right to a title match and by God we are going to get one. This is not the end SWF, it is only the beginning. We ARE Ground Zero and we will not be f[bleep] with by the suits or anyone else in this league." {Black Jack drops the microphone. "The End" by The Door begin to blare as Ground Zero toss their chair to the side and walk down the isle to the rear of the arena} TM: "Ground Zero has defied both teams, and levelled all four men for being overlooked." ------------------------------------ MJ: HAVE Ground Zero been over looked? It seems both these teams have over looked them, since neither of them were prepared for this attack. DL: But they made an even bigger mistake then Tanner. They are now messing with both Trinity and the Church. And that ain't a good mix for Ground Zero. Especially since they have a tag title shot at Hostile Takeover. CS: You have to look at both sides of the story boys, because Ground Zero have joined the Revolution. More on that later, but now they have protection. I expect that Ground Zero will take the tag titles away from the Thugz at Ground Zero. MJ: I wouldn't be so sure. I mean, ya, they have the Revolution. But the Revolution can not take on both Trinity and the Church of Pain. I guess we can't really tell who has a chance, and who doesn't. We'll just have to wait for Hostile Takeover '98. Well, fans, Triumphant Tuesday was without a doubt one of the most action packed shows that I have seen. And when we come back... you'll see the highlights. -------------------------------------- (Two teenaged boys are sitting in front of their home computer.) Kid #1: This crummy browser takes forever. Kid #2: Hey, let's hit the SWF website! Kid #1: Cool! (The kid types on his computer. Suddenly, Jagged Edge emerges from the screen, grabs both kids and pulls them back inside the machine.) Voice: It's a World Wide War of epic proportions. (The kids have now entered a giant cyber-world, with SWF wrestlers all around. We see Corporal Punishment and Monster Mark pummeling each other on a wrestling mat that looks like a giant Excel spreadsheet.) Voice: In an atmosphere filled with antitrust violations. (A shot of God's Tears, who has now applied the Drunken Rage on one of the animated monsters from the game "Doom".) Voice: When the various alliances in the Supreme Wrestling Federation go to war, there's gonna be a major system crash. (A shot of Tanner Boyle slamming Sven Pieterson through what looks to be a Windows 98 logo.) Voice: "Hostile Takeover '98: Broken Windows". Live on pay-per-view August 16th. (The SWF is not affiliated with The Microsoft Corporation or any of its subsidiaries.) --------------------------------------------- MJ: Hostile Takeover, August's SWF extravaganza is going to be just as good as it was last year. DL: Maybe even better if Brian chooses to pay enough. CS: Ignore him and just go to TT. MJ: First let's run down the matches. Kold Blooded Killaz vs. Future Technology "All Around Athlete" Kip Douglass vs. Jack Frost Tanner Boyle vs. Sven Pieterson Fatal Fury vs. Doug Bacon Part 2 of the show Prison Riot Match (Barbed Wire Cage-No DQ): Church of Pain (Mr. Shhh, Pagan, Sandman, Artful Dodger & The Shocker) vs. Trinity (The Living Dead, Kaos, Hot Shot Donovan & Doug Bacon) MJ: This was a truly incredible card. Especially with the highlight, the main even... the cage match. DL: Let's forget the rest of the card and just focus in on that one match. MJ: I'm afraid I can't do that. DL: Damn you. MJ: Jack Frost and Kip Douglas started things off. DL: I hate both of those losers. CS: Then you can shut up when we speak! Both these men are new SWF wrestlers, and it seems that they both have a great future ahead of them. MJ: But it would prove that the decision of the match would be that of a stupid move by Ice, Frost's manager. She tripped Kip Douglas and the referee called for the bell. DL: Wuss. CS: I said shut up! Now, Kip Douglas is a great athlete, and I'm sure he is not happy of the way that the match turned out. Never the less, a win is a win and it's time to accept that. MJ: I'd have to disagree. I don't think that Kip Douglass even wanted to keep the win. I think he would have liked to fight again. Another possibility for Hostile Takeover, which is only a few weeks away, might I add. CS: Either way, Kip won, Frost lost, and it's over. MJ: Alright, next were the KBK and Future Technology. I think they're with the T.w.O but who knows! DL: Who cares is more like it. MJ: You got a point there, Mr. Green. DL: That's Green Hair to you. MJ: Whatever. Well, the KBK have said they want to climb the latter of success, so to speak, to get a shot at the tag titles. Who ever may hold them at the time. CS: The Killaz are a great tag team. They have great potential, heck, they are former SWF tag team champions! But they need to learn to calm down a little. Take this more seriously. They won the match against Future Technology, but that's not really a surprise to you too, is it? MJ: No it's not. But the KBK have to work their way up to the top. And to get to the top, you have to start from the bottom. And that's what they're doing. They're starting from the bottom with Future Technology. And eventually they'll work their way up to fighting teams like the Thugz and the Living Dead. And if you missed it, the KBK came out the winners, and their next opponents? Possibly the Madness. I can't wait for them to start fighting real tag teams, because I feel these two can go all the way. But that's just my opinion. DL: Gordita to you, my friend! MJ: Uhh... yea, that's it. Cat, what's next on the card? CS: Well, let's go to the clip of Ground Zero joining the Revolution. Take a look. ---------------------------------------- (Revolution #9 by the Beatles plays as the Revolution logo fills the video wall.) Fool: Damn! (Kirsten walks through the curtain, wearing glasses, a Revolution T-shirt with a bare midriff, cutoff jeans, sandals and a big smile. She is holding a wireless microphone.) Kirsten: We interrupt this program for a special report...from the Revolution! Chip: Well, we've heard rumors that these guys are up to something. Kirsten: Alright, people...COME ON DOWN! (She waves toward the back as fireworks go off.) Fool: They've been teasing some sort of big announcement. They probably just have new T-shirts to sell or something. (We see Sean McKenzie, Jezebel, Boom-Boom, Master of Pain, Rock 'n Roll Animal and Jukebox Hero walk out through the curtains on their way to the ring. Fireworks go off the aisle. As the group walks by the camera, Boom-Boom looks over and yells "We miss you, Double H!" directly into the lens.) Chip: Well, the crowd is fired up for them. Fool: I'm not. (Sean McKenzie takes the microphone.) Sean: If ye don't know what this is aboot, we have a wee surprise for ye. (He hands the microphone to Boom-Boom.) Boom-Boom: The Revolution is bowdy-bowdy! McKenzie: What? Boom-Boom: Just kidding. We've been looking for someone new who has what it takes to join Revolution, and I think we've found it! It's all good, baby! Chip: I think it's true. I think Tanner is joining the Revolution. Fool: You're wrong. I think it's Sven. (Boom-Boom hands the microphone to Rock 'n Roll Animal.) Animal: Introducing the newest members of the Revolution, and the next tag team champions of the world... ("The End" by The Doors plays as Black Jack and Kaneda walk out from the back, wearing Revolution T-shirts.) Fool: Say WHAT? Animal: Kaneda...Black Jack...GROUND ZERO! Chip: Ground Zero has joined the Revolution! (Black Jack and Kaneda enter the ring. Kaneda takes the microphone.) Kaneda: It is great to be apart of a group of honorable men like the Revolution. We are glad to be here! (The crowd cheers as Kaneda hands the microphone to Black Jack.) Black Jack: Thugz, you've gone and done it to us again. You've given the Dead another shot because you're afraid to face us. But you're going to have to face us eventually, and we'll not only take the SWF Tag Team Titles, but we'll prove, once and for all, who the better men are! Kirsten: This has been a special report from the Revolution. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. (Fireworks go off as "The End" plays again. The Revolution members leave, slapping hands with their fans on the way out.) ---------------------------------------- DL: Well, this is probably the most BOARING clip I have ever seen. So what, Ground Zero joined the Revolution. MJ: Well, as we said earlier, Ground Zero has the double threat of Trinity and The Church, but with the Revolution at their side, that'll take a lot of pressure of the shoulders of Ground Zero. CS: Enough about Ground Zero and the Revolution, let's talk about the TV title. Sven got yet another chance at that title when he faced Tanner Boyle. Take a look at the end of the match. ------------------------------- (The crowd is starting to get behind Tanner Boyle. Sven Pieterson takes Tanner Boyle down with a fisherman suplex. Andrew Borgert counts: 1. They're brawling inside the ring area. Tanner Boyle hits Sven Pieterson with a roundhouse right. Sven Pieterson whips Tanner Boyle into the timekeeper's table. Sven Pieterson goes for a bodyslam, but Tanner Boyle counters it with a small package. Sven Pieterson is busted wide open.) Fool: Did you see Tanner take out the timekeeper? Chip: I'm more interested in the fact that Sven is bleeding from a cut over his eye. (Andrew Borgert counts: 2. Sven Pieterson hits a fisherman suplex on Tanner Boyle. Andrew Borgert counts: 3. Sven Pieterson whips Tanner Boyle into the guardrail. Andrew Borgert counts: 4. Sven Pieterson reenters the ring. Tanner Boyle follows him back in. Sven Pieterson is going for the pin. Andrew Borgert counts: One, kickout.) Chip: Sven has been unable to keep the champ down. Fool: Well, next week they'll have twenty minutes, if they don't settle it here. (Sven Pieterson runs into the ropes. Sven Pieterson executes a lariat on Tanner Boyle. Sven Pieterson executes a DDT on Tanner Boyle. Sven Pieterson is getting a good reaction from the crowd. Sven Pieterson runs into the ropes. Tanner Boyle uses a chop on Sven Pieterson. Tanner Boyle goes for a double chickenwing submission, but Sven Pieterson blocks it. Sven Pieterson whips Tanner Boyle into the ropes, but Tanner Boyle reverses it.) Fool: We've got about a minute to go. Chip: Irish whip...NO! Reversal by Tanner! (Tanner Boyle hits Sven Pieterson with a shoulderblock. Tanner Boyle executes the X-Plosion on Sven Pieterson. A few fans are cheering on Tanner Boyle.) Chip: X-Plosion from out of nowhere. Fool: Saints 1, Swedes 0. (Tanner Boyle goes for the pin. Andrew Borgert counts: One, two, three. The crowd is really behind Tanner Boyle.) Chip: He got him! Tanner Boyle holds on to the TV Title. Jeff: Here is your winner, in 9:18, Tanner Boyle. ("Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against the Machine plays. The crowd is giving Boyle a standing ovation.) (Andrew Borgert hands Boyle the title belt. Tanner puts it on and screams for the crowd. The crowd screams back.) -------------------------------------------- DL: Tanner won... yai...? MJ: Well, Sven loses again to the hands of a champion. That just leads me to believe that he may not be championship material. DL: May? How 'bout ISN'T. He has gotten to many tries, and he has failed at every single one of them. Why not just paint "loser" on his forehead and be done with it? MJ: Keep on talking. Your mic has been cut off. Cat... CS: Well, Sven has not beaten a champion when he has had a shot at a title, and to tell you the truth, I didn't expect him to win at TT either. The man just doesn't have the same momentum that Tanner Boyle or The Judge have. I don't think that we'll see big things from Sven. MJ: I guess only time will tell. Folks, since their feud started, Fatal Fury have not really had a chance to settle the score. Well, finally on TT, they had their chance. CS: Both men talked the talk, but only one could walk the walk. And when it was all said and done, Fatal Fury walked away the victor. It was a hard fought match by both men, but in the end, Fatal Fury beat the best SWF champion of all time. DL: May I repeat that? The BEST SWF WORLD champion of ALL TIME. Fatal Fury beat the BEST ever in the SWF! That is something that only so many people have done. And he is one of 'em. I expect Fury to get a shot at any title, and soon. This kid is gonna be big... real big. MJ: I thought we cut off your mic? Well anyway, he isn't a kid. He's been with the SWF a while, and he's already been tag champs with Jagged Edge. If you don't recall, they beat the Living Dead for the titles, and they are considered to be the greatest tag team in the SWF. So Fatal Fury has beaten two of the best. I believe you're right, Dax, he should have a title shot in line. Possibly world, or maybe even Toughman. CS: Mike, I believe it's time that we go over the main event. The most anticipated match in Triumphant Tuesday history. It was the Church of Pain taking on Trinity it a no holds barred, barbed wire cage match. This was one of the best matches I have ever seen. Parents, some of the footage I will be showing you might not be suitable for children under the age of 16. So please have any child under the age of 16 exit the room immediately... role the clip. ----------------------------------- (The Artful Dodger complains about a slow count. The Artful Dodger hits him with the chain. The Artful Dodger takes Rigor down with a backbreaker. The Artful Dodger nails Rigor with a stomp. Sandman enters the ring to make it two-on-one. Sandman uses a jumping DDT on Rigor.) R&RA: I think the ref's about to lose control. (Mortis enters the ring. Mortis and Rigor whip The Artful Dodger into the ropes. They hit The Artful Dodger with a double backdrop. Sandman enters the ring and lays out Rigor. Sandman hits a jumping DDT on Mortis.) Chip: DDT on Mortis! Fool: This is great! (Sandman takes Rigor down with a clothesline. The Artful Dodger nails Rigor with a Soviet suplex. Sandman leaves the ring. The Artful Dodger nails Rigor with a spinning DDT. The Artful Dodger is going for the pin.) Chip: Another DDT on Rigor! R&RA: He's got him this time. (Jeff Hart counts: One, two, thr... kickout.) Fool: AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHHH! Chip: Rigor kicks out. And we have more interference! (Mortis, Doug Bacon and Pagan enter the ring Pagan and The Artful Dodger whip Doug Bacon into the ropes. They hit Doug Bacon with a double elbowsmash. Mortis leaves the ring. Pagan whips Doug Bacon into the barbed wire. Pagan goes for a side suplex, but Doug Bacon blocks it.) Chip: Pagan and Doug Bacon are brawling into the barbed wire! (The Artful Dodger uses a jumping neck snap on Rigor. Quite a few boos are audible. The Artful Dodger hits Rigor with a Northern Lights suplex. Jeff Hart counts: One, two, kickout.) R&RA: Dodger and Rigor are still legal. (Sandman and Mortis enter the ring. The Artful Dodger nails Mortis with a spinning DDT. Sandman leaves the ring. The Artful Dodger attempts to place Mortis on the turnbuckle, but Mortis blocks it. The Artful Dodger grinds Mortis' face across the cage.) Fool: The Dodger is cleaning house in there! Chip: Who would have thought it? (The Artful Dodger executes the Robbing You Blind on Rigor. Quite a few boos are audible. Doug Bacon uses a Northern Lights suplex on Pagan. The crowd is starting to get behind Doug Bacon. Doug Bacon hits him with the beer bottle. Doug Bacon puts Pagan in a camel clutch.) Fool: Where did Bacon get that beer bottle? Chip: Robbing You Blind! Dodger's going for the cover! (The Artful Dodger goes for the pin.) Chip: One! Two!... (Jeff Hart counts: One, two, Mortis doesn't make it in time... three. The Artful Dodger is starting to get under the crowd's skin.) R&RA: He got him! Fool: Yes! We won! Chip: The Church of Pain has beaten Trinity! ------------------------------------------- DL: Yes!! Yes!!! MJ: The Church beat Trinity, one, two, three in the middle of the ring. That has GOT to be an embarrassment to Trinity. DL: Hell, they must be hiding under rocks! The poor things lost to The Church! YES! CS: The Church and Trinity have been going at it for months, the Church won that battle, but does that mean they also won the war? DL: I say yes. MJ: Yes, but no one cares what you say. CS: I want to see more matches like this between these two stables. Because when they're all in an includes area, all hell will break lose. Much like it did during that match. DL: You want all hell breaking lose? Role the clip of after the match. ----------------------------------------------- (We see the shot of C-Murder and Black Jack arguing. They are both hit from behind with chairs brought by people out of the crowd.) Fool: Who are these guys? (We see Biggie Z, The Judge and Ricky Watts heading for the cage, carrying chairs.) R&RA: What are they doing here? (Referee Jeff Hart has opened the cage. We see Biggie, The Judge and Ricky enter.) Chip: Biggie Z is there to attack the Church! But I don't know why the Judge or Ricky are there! (Mr. Jones jumps over the railing and runs toward the cage. Mortis nails Pagan with a superkick. Doug Bacon goes for a sleeperhold, but Pagan counters it with a jawbreaker. Pagan whips Doug Bacon into the turnbuckle. Biggie Z hits Pagan from behind with the chair.) Chip: He just nailed Pagan! (We see the other members of the Revolution running down the aisle.) R&RA: Well, gotta go! (Animal grabs his chair and heads for the ring. Mr. Shhh is brawling with Kaos. The Judge goes to hit Mr. Shhh with the chair, but Mr. Jones pulls him out of the way. The Judge hits Kaos in the head with the chair.) Chip: The Judge nails Kaos. But it was an accident. Biggie Z holds Artful Dodger while Ricky Watts hits Artful Dodger with a chair. Fool: Dammit! We're outnumbered! (Biggie Z grabs the microphone.) Biggie: How does that feel, eh? [Biggie pulls the mic away from his mouth and looks around at the crowd. Biggie then brings the mic back up.] Biggie: Every since the Church was formed, I was pretty sure you guys had no plans for Big Papa. So I called up these two. I asked them if they wanted to be part of something big, something _important_! Guys, tell these nice people... (Biggie Z plls the mic down as he is tackled by Sean McKenzie.) Chip: The Revolution has hit the ring. (Pagan gets to his knees. He looks up and sees Rock 'n Roll Animal standing over him with a chair.) Fool: Uh-oh! Pagan looks pissed. (Pagan stands up and looks Animal in the face. Aniamal drops the chair and stares back at Pagan. Chip: These two definitely don't like each other. (Just as it looks like the two are about to fight, they are attacked by Doug Bacon and Hot Shot Donovan.) Fool: Aaauuuggghhhh! Chip: Trinity got the drop on Animal and Pagan. It's a war in there. (At that moment, the lights go off. "Electric Chair" by Prince begins to play.) Fool: Oh, no! It's Equalizer! Chip: What the hell is going on! (A lone spotlight shines on the ring, where we see a masked man in black break through the ring from underneath.) Fool: It's not Equalizer! It's that mystery guy! (Kaos is just getting to his feet. The mystery man grabs Kaos and hits him with a face first chokeslam.) Chip: Face Plant! Face Plant on Kaos! (The lights are back on. The mystery man takes off his mask to reveal...) Fool: It's El Cholo! (Cholo raises his hands, acknowledging the roar of the crowd, as he is clotheslined from behind by Mortis.) Fool: Flatliner by Trinity! (We see Sven Pieterson, Chico, Fatal Fury and Jagged Edge running toward the ring. Edge is carrying his spiked brass knuckles.) Chip: Here come the MIA's to save their teammate. We better get some security out here, or this could go all night! (Brian Frenck says something to a security guard. The security guard picks up the walkie-talkie.) Fool: What's going on now? (We see Mr. Roboto and Time Warp running from the back.) Chip: This is a joke, right? (As Future Technology makes it to the bottom of the ramp, Madness charges after them. Time Warp and Roboto turn to face them.) Fool: Well, it's official! That's all the stables! ----------------------------------------------- MJ: Wow. That was pure carnage. DL: Chaos... at it's finest. CS: Whatever it was, it was big. But one answer of was given, we found out who the masked man was! DL: Masked man? CS: Remember, the guy who went around face planting everyone? DL: Oh yea. That El Cholo guy. Too many coronas if you ask me. CS: You bet, to get involved with the CoP and Trinity like he did? Boy will he have a beating waiting for him. MJ: There was something else we saw. Biggie Z came down to the ring with The Judge and Ricky Watts. What could this mean? Biggie tried to say something but was cut off by Sean McKenzie. Those two will be fighting in a non-title contest next week at TT. DL: Finally. That match was meant to be a couple of weeks ago, but it was postponed or something. Whatever it was, Biggie and McKenzie will be fighting one on one next week. CS: But what about the Judge and Rick Watts? What could they possibly have to do with Biggie? Could they possibly be forming a stable? MJ: Anything could happen. But I just don't see Biggie, a law breaking person to team with the Judge. The Judge stands for justice, Biggie doesn't. CS: But remember, The Judge's justice is pretty screwed up. You can't really judge on that. MJ: Pun! Ha! Anyway, how the hell does Ricky fit in the picture? DL: A sex toy? MJ: Stop it! CS: Maybe they could really be forming a stable together. That would mean that the International and Toughman champions would be together. That would mean that all the all but one title is in a stable! MJ: Speaking about stables, every single stable in the SWF was down at the end of the show. There was the T.w.O, O.n.E, MIA, Trinity, CoP and the Revolution. And possibly stables that are in the midst of being formed. I think when Dax called it "chaos at it's finest" suits TT best. Because it was pure chaos. That TT, and in particular, that TT, will remain in our minds for a long time to come. Fans, up next is a complete report of Around the World. Stay tuned! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Commercials for SWF action figures, the new SWF video game for N64 and Microsoft Windows '98. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DL: What the hell are we doing showing commercials about windows '98? Isn't Brian Frenck supposed to fight Bill Gates? MJ: I guess it was an error of our producers. DL: It better have been. MJ: Here's the ATW Line-up: Tanner Boyle vs Rock 'N Roll Animal Kipp Douglass vs Hexx Jack Frost vs The Giant Killer Kaos vs T.w.O. DL: What can we call the main event? MJ: Umm... I guess the Kaos vs. T.w.O match is the main event. CS: Well, this was the won year anniversary ATW. So Tim Parker decided to do something for the three other producers of the show. Take a look at what Brian Frenck, Sean Clayton, Dino Meli, Zac Lisak and Tim Parker had to say about the anniversary. --------------------------------- TP: Tonight Around the World Celebrates it's one year anniversary. ATW has gone through four writers since its beginning. The first writer of the official ATW card is Dino Meli (handler of The Sandman). Dino developed the format and devoted his ever waking moment to ATW until suffering a nervous breakdown in January of 1998. Since that time Dino has worn a drool bucket and spends much of his time in total isolation emerging only once in a while to tell everyone that he is alive. Next we had Zac Lisak the handler of Hardrock & Biggie Z. A bright inspired young writer until he met with an unfortunate accident that brought his world crash down up him. Not he spends his time with his crayons drawing pictures of the toughman belt and McKenzie in a noose. Sean Clayton, handler of Virgo, Equalizer, and Kaos, decided to tackle it next and low and behold ATW turned out to be a real backbreaker for Sean. So much so that he was forced into an early retirement. Finally out of the group a sucker arrived and the suits said, hey there's Parker, Parker can do it, he can do everything. Tim Parker, handler of Mr. Shhh puts on his Black Trenchcoat and Raybans and begins to write and write and write. Recently Parker has been plagued with a stiff neck and swollen fingers from typing so much. His head has become deformed as one part of his brain has actually had to think. The dark circles under his eye are proof of the non-sleep that card writers have. Will Parker hold out, only time will tell. There was one other person that wrote for ATW when no one else would do it and that was Brian Frenck. And we all know what condition he is in now... 'nuff said. [Brian Frenck walks out of the VIP area and into the commentator's booth and motions for a chair to be placed in front of the mic for him. He sits and taps the microphone to check the sound] BF: Well Parker that was almost right, but let me tell you the real story of ATW. [Frenck looks around and takes a deep breath] BF: So it's the one year anniversary of ATW. Wow. I had trouble believing it when the league turned one year old. And now, the final card that we introduced has made it to the one year mark. Not many people know that ATW actually started off as a House Card. Shawn Mullin ran them when the league first started and sent out just the log files. Just to help people get more matches under their belts. I finally managed to convince Shawn to let Dino, who had been filling in for Shawn during several of his vacations, to write ATW like a real card. And thus ATW was born. Shortly after, Shawn, who was also our TT writer, resigned from the SWF. So for 5 months, the league only had 2 cards. ATW and Slaughterhouse (there was a failed attempt to bring back TT, but after a couple weeks, with rotating writers, it just came to be more trouble than it was worth.) ATW even continued a little during the off season to allow those who had their holiday shopping done months ago to continue wrestling. Finally, the pressure caught up with Dino. Dino had to make a choice between college and the ATW. He chose college. I guess he felt that a degree would look more impressive on his resume than ATW. So in came Zac Lisak. He had been bugging me for god knows how long about letting him write a card. So after Dino stepped down, I let him give a shot at it. And for the first time in many months, ATW was put out on time (sorry Dino) However, after a short while, we decided we wanted to take ATW in a different direction and handed it over to a person whom we felt could take it there. Sean Clayton came in and he wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote. However, as a result of all of this constant writing, Sean became slightly delusional. He began referring to himself as Equalizer all the time. Disaster finally struck when he attended a WCW show and told Bill Goldberg "Prepare to be Equalized!" Sean was quickly jackhammered and sent off to the hospital for back surgery. This of course left me in a bit of a panic as I was now missing a writer once again. After looking around a bit, a poor unsuspecting fool volunteered. That fool was Tim Parker. Rumor has it that the NC Boys (Tim aka Shhh, Chris aka Pagan, Sean aka McKenzie, and Justin aka GT) drew straws to determine which one of them would be the next writer. Tim drew the short straw. So in came Tim. Needless to say, Tim is still writing ATW. As matter of fact, he's wrote the one you're about to read. Now it should be known that there is yet another card writer. That would be me. I had the unfortunate task of writing ATW while in between writers. Felt so incredibly odd to me to write a card that had no hardcore matches. But on the bright side, it enabled me to bring out the wonderful broadcast team of Dean Oberman and Corporal Punishment. However writing 2 cards a week was just too much. And I was more than happy to hand it off to the next writer. So where are they now? Shawn Mullin: After leaving the SWF, he tried to start his own line of underwear which could be found at any of the K-Marts in the great white north. However he gave it up after Penny Marshall and Rosie O'Donnell asked him if he was into swinging. After spending a few months in a coma induced by the mental picture of what Penny and Rosie had suggested, he came out of his coma. He then found his e-wrestling mentor, Roger DeFurio, and helped him restart the UCW. Dino Meli: Still working on that college degree. He spent much time in court as ECW had sued him for the use of the name "Sandman" The case was later dismissed. Things were going fine for Dino until one day he stuck his head out the door and saw his shadow, which means 6 more weeks without Dino. Zack Lisak: Turned to a life of crime after losing ATW. He had a huge crime spree which spread all the way from somewhere in Canada to Miami, Florida where he was finally arrested for selling Pez on the black market. During the brief time in the Miami Prison, he found Jesus, which is not surprising considering half the people in the Miami Prison are named Jesus (ok, I know that I'm going to get booed for that joke. But I heard that on The Daily Show a couple months ago and I found it to be pretty damn funny.) Zac has been released from Prison and is giving a try at writing the once dead Ringside Report. Tim Parker: Still writing ATW. However Chris and Sean (McK) have reported that Tim has been using the word "eh?" a lot as well as dressing up like a mounty, and rooting for the Toronto Blue Jays. It was bound to happen when you give an American a card that had been written only by Canadians. Brian Frenck: Well I'm still here. Currently taking some much needed time off as was suggested by the psychiatrist who is counseling me for stalking Chris Jericho. -------- NS: But while things are getting setup for the next match in our studio we have Zac Lisak former ATW writer. [Zac comes in and takes a seat] SP: Zac I understand that your reign as an ATW writer was shortened because of technology. Can you elaborate a little on this. ZL: Well first let me wish ATW a Happy Birthday. Now when I started writing ATW, it was around the end of February. Dino had some problems, or something, and I was an up and coming writer. So I had a talk with our great president Brian Frenck :) and he gave me the job in a second. It was all down hill from there. I was able to write the card in the afternoon, so there was no sleep depravation. But with a lack of spell check, and some other things, I was stripped of ATW. Well, all I have to say is that with my absence writing ATW, we have another great writer doing it... good luck Tim. Don't work TOO hard on it... and if my wrestler is injured, you can have him wrestle none the less ---------- NS: Mr. Clayton welcome to ATW we are glad you could join us. Do you have any words you would like to share in reference to the ATW card. [Sean grimaces a minute and grabs his back] SC: What a day.....ack! Pain! Tylenol, quick!....*crunch gag*...Much better. Ok...where was I? Oh yes. ATW. That card carries with it a huge curse. Everyone who has had a hand in its production, meets with an untimely, and horrible demise. Look at me! I'm a dwarf! The surgeon said he would be able to save my ability to walk, but by removing part of my spine??? Come on, Doc! What am I? A bloody Smurf??? Anyway, after that damned curse got me, I settled away from card writing. What did you expect me to do? I mean, even King Tut knew enough about curses to stay away from ATW. But did I know enough? Hell no. I HAD to give it shot, right? I HAD to offer my help. And what do I get for it? Life as a 2 foot smurf, that's what! It seems the powers of Chaos are all over that card. Parker, run while you can. Before it gets to you, too! Save yourself! Oh, the HUMANITY!!!!!! [Sean jumps up out of his chair and goes screaming out of the booth] ------------------------------------- MJ: Happy birthday ATW. DL Let's get to the ACTION. MJ: To start things off for the night, The Giant Killer took on Jack Frost. Fans, this match didn't end as anyone suspected it would. DL: Tell me about it. I can't believe the Giant Killer won! CS: Yup, you heard right. The Giant Killer beat Jack Frost! DL: Jack is now resting safely in his hole. We wish him well, and hope his mental health will return shortly. MJ: You're not funny. CS: Maybe that was just a show of Jack's inexperience. Or maybe he isn't as good as we all thought he was. DL: YOU thought he was good. Not me. CS: Ugh. Please don't think I include you whenever I say "we." DL: You better not! MJ: On the other hand.... DL & CS: Shut up! MJ: Fine. DL: Since both of you are getting on my nerves, I will prepare to die my hair. That, by the way, will happen right after you fools finish explaining ATW. [Dax walks away from the broadcast booth.] CS: He's gone! Yippe! MJ: Praise the lord, sister friend! CS: WHAT?! MJ: Sorry, sorry. Now, back to ATW. Hexx took on Kip Douglas. I guess we could say that Kip isn't a fluke. He beat Hexx, easily. With a plain, old, suplex! CS: Well, I think Hexx still isn't over the matches he's had with Pagan in the past. Kip won this WAY to easily. MJ: Well, I'm pretty tired of talking about Kip. So let's talk about Tanner Boyle, and the former world champion, Rock 'n Roll Animal. CS: This was a non-title match, and I guess you can say that Tanner was lucky about that. Take a look. ------------------------------------- Rock 'n Roll Animal nails Tanner Boyle with a knee to the back. Rock 'n Roll Animal whips Tanner Boyle into the ropes. Tanner Boyle hits Rock 'n Roll Animal with a kick. Tanner Boyle attempts to place Rock 'n Roll Animal on the turnbuckle, but Rock 'n Roll Animal blocks it. Tanner Boyle hits a backbreaker on Rock 'n Roll Animal. Tanner Boyle is getting a good reaction from the crowd. CN: {yawn} what time is it? FG: Time for us to see some blood. Tanner Boyle hits Rock 'n Roll Animal with a jawbreaker. Tanner Boyle is getting a good reaction from the crowd. Tanner Boyle gets a chokehold on Rock 'n Roll Animal. Earl Hebner warns Tanner Boyle to let go. Earl Hebner counts: One, two, three, four. Earl Hebner counts: One, two, three. Earl Hebner counts: One, two, three, four. Tanner Boyle uses a headbutt on Rock 'n Roll Animal. Tanner Boyle catches Rock 'n Roll Animal in a double chickenwing submission. Rock 'n Roll Animal reaches the ropes after being trapped for 16 seconds. Tanner Boyle executes a hiptoss on Rock 'n Roll Animal. Tanner Boyle gets a choke against the ropes on Rock 'n Roll Animal. Earl Hebner warns Tanner Boyle to let go. Earl Hebner counts: One, two, three, four. Tanner Boyle goes for a short clothesline, but Rock 'n Roll Animal ducks out of the way. Rock 'n Roll Animal takes Tanner Boyle down with a punch. FG: Now there's a punch. Rock 'n Roll: Fists of Fury. CN: What is it with you and punching? A Hennig-plex, I could understand... FG: Shut up about your hennig-plexes! CN: You just don't appreciate the power of Curt Henning. FG: You've been in WCW too long. Rock 'n Roll Animal goes for a lariat, but Tanner Boyle blocks it. Tanner Boyle uses a backbreaker on Rock 'n Roll Animal. The crowd is starting to get behind Tanner Boyle. Tanner Boyle hits a back suplex on Rock 'n Roll Animal. Tanner Boyle goes for a brain buster, but Rock 'n Roll Animal counters it with a vertical suplex. Rock 'n Roll Animal executes a side suplex on Tanner Boyle. Rock 'n Roll Animal uses a powerslam on Tanner Boyle. Rock 'n Roll Animal executes the Revolution #9 on Tanner Boyle. A small "Rock 'n Roll Animal" chant is being started. Rock 'n Roll Animal goes for the pin. Earl Hebner counts: One, two, three ------------------------------------------------ CS: That must've been hard for Tanner Boyle. He's just lucky the title wasn't on the line. MJ: It couldn't have been. The Animal is a former world champion, and anyone who has held a major title can not have a shot at the TV title. It's SWF rules. CS: Good man! MJ: I try. Next match... CS: Main event time! MJ: Actually... CS: Heh. Well, Kaos won the match, but check out how... ------------------------------ Suddenly, Duke "The Dream" Diamond jumps over the guardrail. He grabs a trash can and enters the ring. He enters the ring as the ref is making the count.] Tim White: One, two, thr.. [Duke Diamond nails Kaos with the trash can.] SP: Duke Diamond came out of no where and nailed Kaos. Tim White is quickly calling for the bell and has disqualified the T.w.O. So the winner is Kaos! NS: First of all what the hell is Duke Diamond doing there? And second let me tell you my friend, Kaos may of won the match on paper but this doesn't look good. [The rest of the T.w.O. enter the ring and start kicking the unconscious Kaos. Corporal Punishment goes over and grabs a mic.] SP: This has got to be good. [Corporal Punishment looks down at Kaos lying motionless on the mat] CP: What the hell were you thinking boy? You think you can hang with the T.w.O.? You know, we still remember back when you attacked us back in February for no real good reason. But they say that revenge is a dish best served cold. And let me introduce to you waiter for the evening. The newest member of the T.w.O., Duke "The Dream" Diamond!! SP: Well Shade there's your answer Duke Diamond has just joined the T.w.O. [Duke Diamond grabs the microphone] DD: Trinity, there are some people that you just shouldn't mess with. ------------------------------------ MJ: What a joke! Duke Diamond in the T.w.O? I'm just happy it didn't happen sooner. CS: Good god, the T.w.O threatened Trinity. If they ever had a match, T.w.O/Trinity, it'll be like wolfs hunting chickens. MJ: Oh yea. I don't even wanna talk about this one. When we come back, Dax gets his hair dyed! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Commercial for Hostile Takeover, Triumphant Tuesday and Around the World. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The shot cuts to Dax Lemming in a chair in front of a sink. There is green dye in the chair. A stylist is standing behind Dax ready to dye his hair.] MJ: Well, it's the time we have not been waiting for. Our stylist, Alberto, is ready to begin. Alberto... A: [In an Italian accent.] Yes, hallo. I'm Alberto and I am a stylist. So what I wish to do is place Mr. Lemming's head into this hot liquid dye, and then let it sit for about two minutes. When I remove his head it should be all green and beautiful. DL: Hot? Hot liquid? A: Yes, my darling. Now sit back, and relax. DL: Wait.... wait! [Alberto places Dax's head in the green dye as Cat and Mike stand beside him.] DL: Owww! CS: Wuss. MJ: I guess all we can do is talk. Up next is my favorite part of the show, the rumor mill. We have the juiciest rumors, which ones are true? Which are fake? That's up to you. CS: What should we expect? MJ: Well, I guess we could say that there is some decention in the Church. CS: Really? MJ: Yup, and one member seems to be on his way out. More on that in the mill. A: All done! Now, all I must do is remove his head from the dye. DL: Don't hurt me. [Alberto removes Dax's head from the dye, and he now has green hair.] DL: Is it over? CS: Yes. Now let's get to the rumors! [Mike, Dax, and Cat walk back to the broadcast table as the words "Rumor Mill" slide along the screen.] MJ: Okay, to start things off, Trinity could be losing not one, but two members. How ever they could be gaining another. CS: Maybe it could be the Dead. They don't seem too happy in Trinity, and they are two people. I think it could be them. DL: Well, I think it'll be Hot Shot and Doug Bacon. Bacon is an Underground man. I knew that from the start. Maybe Hot Shot will join the Underground? MJ: Those are all possibilities. Next, an old nemesis might be returning and this person is seeking blood. Who do you think it could be? DL: Moon Dog! Aroooo! That boy seeks blood where ever he goes. In fact, I think that's his main diet! CS: I say Zamron The Martian. MJ: Why is that? CS: Dunno. Just do. MJ: Ookay. Rumor has it that SWF president Brian Frenck is being charge with breach of contract by an ex-SWF wrestler. It seems that this person was released from the SWF for not fulfilling their contract, where it was really the SWF that did not fulfill their contract to him. CS: SWF in a law suit? HA! DL: I agree with Cat... HA! MJ: A unanimous decision with.... HA! You all remember that Microsoft CEO Bill Gates will be wrestling Brian Frenck, right? CS: Uh-huh. MJ: Well, it seems that he is getting some special 'training' for the match. And people are saying he has turned to Apple to do so. CS: Brian, watch out! Gates might squeeze the juice out of you! DL: Bill Gates will win that match for sure. I believe that Brian is an avid IBM user, so I guess Brian will just copy anything Bill does! MJ: So how will that make him win? DL: I don't know, but it sounded good. MJ: It really didn't. The Church is said to be the only power house stable after Hostile Takeover. This being the result of a plan they have set in motion. DL: Church for life! Church for life! CS: I just wanna see this 'plan' they got. MJ: The big star rumored to be at Hostile Takeover may have some affiliation with an SWF wrestler. Who that wrestler is, or how they know each other, however, is still unknown. DL: I think Sean McKenzie is good friends with Sean Conery. They're both Scottish and they both have the same first name. MJ: That doesn't mean anything! DL: It does in my mind. CS: I, truly, don't have any idea who the big star could be. I guess we'll have to wait and see. MJ: Sven Pieterson is rumored to be staring a stable. It should be called the League of Nations. He tried once before, but was unsuccessful, so he's trying again. DL: Maybe the Artful Dodger would join. He could be the guy on the way out of the Church, and he's pretty foreign. CS: I think it would be someone with power. Tanner Boyle maybe? MJ: Why do you say that? CS: Because Sven has been trying to get a title for a long time, and Tanner seems to be the only loner champion. So I guess Sven might try to get him as a partner. MJ: That makes a lot of sense! Sandman's absence, despite the Church's best efforts to keep it under raps, has been revealed. Numerous fans report he has been seen working as a fed-ex delivery person. It seems he wasn't getting enough money after losing the Toughman title, so he needed the job. CS: That is a load of bologna! DL: Why do you say that? CS: Because it was your contribution to the rumor mill. DL: How'd you find out? CS: I have my ways. MJ: A new member of the Revolution may be emerge within the next few weeks. Talks have already began behind closed doors. CS: Who could it be? MJ: We already say Ground Zero join. Who else would join? DL: I say Ricky Watts. He seems to fit in with the Revolution. MJ: But he has been seen hanging with Biggie and the Judge. DL: Maybe it's the Revolution's plan. Who knows. MJ: Back to the Church. There seems to be turmoil within the Church of Pain. With one member taking an extended vacation and another becoming known as the hardest working individual in the SWF, other members are scouting the SWF just incase those two drop out. DL: I say Sandman takes the vacation. Heck, he's already on vacation! And Shhh man is definitely the hardest working man in the SWF. CS: I think Pagan may take some time off. But I don't think he'll leave the CoP. As for the hard worker, I also go with Mr. Shhh. And again, I don't think he'll leave the Church. MJ: I agree with Dax, Sandman is already on vacation. And Shhh man is the hardest worker in the SWF. He IS the champion, you know. Rumor has it that David Storm has been crawling back to various members of the Church in an attempt to rejoin. He was booted a few weeks ago on TT. So far, his attempts have been unsuccessful. DL: And I hope they stay that way. CS: Me too! David Storm is nothing but trash. MJ: Is Pagan looking to take the war against Trinity to a new level? He was recently seen in Brian Frenck's office making an attempt to sign a tag match against Hot Shot Donovan and Kaos. Rumor has it that a former SWF may be returning to join the man of sin as his tag team partner. Oddly enough, at the same time this rumor surfaced, the name Bones Douglas has been rolling of people's lips. Could this mean the return of Bones? DL: That would be great! The two toughest men in SWF history teaming together. I guess that would mean that Bones would join the Church, huh? MJ: Certainly seems like it. Well, the O.n.E are rumored to be bringing back the Highlanders in an attempt to defeat the T.w.O. Will it work? DL: No! CS: Who cares? MJ: In a taste testing contest, the Whopper did in fact BEAT the Gordita. The KBK are now in a deep depression. Are hearts are with them. DL: The Whopper is the best! MJ: And for our last rumor... Brian Frenck may lose to Bill Gates on purpose just to get a free copy of Windows '98. Unlikely, but these ARE rumors. DL: Guess what? MJ: What? DL: Maxx Factor is next! CS: I am going to like this. ------------------------------------------------------------ Commercials for McDonalds McLobster, Intel and Slaughterhouse ------------------------------------------------------------ MJ: Without any further adue, I present to you.... Maxx Factor! [Cut to Dax Lemming sitting on a stool. The Judge is on a stool next to him.] DL: Hello, wrestling fans, this is Maxx Factor. I am joined today with my guest, the Judge. First question, why are you so psycho? [The Judge gets up and smacks Dax upside the head. Dax falls off his stool and lays on the ground uncontiance.] MJ: We though this would happen. Cat... take it away. [Cat takes the Judge to the Litter Box set. The Judge already seems mad.] CS: Before we're ready, role the clip. [The Judge, as a child, was somebody that was hated worlds over. [Cut to a shot of the Judge as a kid.] A delinquent, with great intelligence and potential. His parents abandoned him, when he was a very young child, and had not been able to find a home to call his own. [Cut to a shot of the Judge eating bread on the street.] The crimes he committed as a child ranged from petty theft, to armed robbery - almost to murder. When he was 15, he was taken in by a law professor at McGill University, Mr. Victor Travis. [Cut to a shot of the Judge and Victor together, standing in front of McGill University.] Travis saw the potential that The Judge has a child and attempted to bring out the best in him. Over time the boy, real name unknown, grew more and more in favor of the law. He turned his back on his gang and learnt the ways of the justice. [Cut to a shot of The Judge in a class room.] Travis also helped him reform himself physically. Turning a young, illinquent child, into a man that was worthy of carrying the law on his shoulders. [Cut to a shot in a gym.] The Judge graduated from McGill Law School and set on his mission to set right the wrong in the world. He saw much corruption and using the skills that Travis taught him, he knew that he could make a difference and end the wrong.] CS: Please welcome, the Judge! [I shot the Sheriff plays on the speakers and the Judge walks out, and sits in the chair next to Cat.] CS: Let's just get started. Were you sad that you were hated so much as a child? Judge: I am indifferent to the hate and abuse that I suffered as a child... My strength, intelligence and character helped me survive those years. My strength, intelligence and character has made me the man I am today. CS: How did it feel when your parents abandoned you? Judge: My parents left me when I was very young... Too young... CS: What did you do after your parents left? Judge: I was a nomad almost... Coming and going, almost as I pleased. No home would take me. Nobody would love me... Until Mr. Travis. CS: Why did you commit so many crimes? Judge: I was lured by the wrong... I did not know justice, and I did not know right. All I had been taught was to do wrong, and it came to a point where all I could do was wrong. It was who I was. CS: What was the worst crime, in your mind, that you committed. Judge: There was a man... Walking down the street, with his family. Two daughters and a wife. He was a target too tempting to pass, and so I pounced! He couldn't even put up a fight... My... My blade hit him straight in his stomach, and then leg... His wife... His daughters, they were so frightened... (a tear rolls down his face) How could I have done something like that? CS: Oh my. What happened when you were 15 years old? Judge: Read my biography, idiot. CS: Umm... ok. What did and/or does Victor Travis mean to you? Judge: He is responsible for turning me into the man I am today. I walk... I breath because of him. Mr. Travis is my savior, and all I can do now is repay him by serving justice. There is no other way to show my gratitude but to serve justice - the right way. CS: He attempted to bring out the best of you. Did it work? Judge: I am the International Champion... Fear worlds over by criminals and wrestlers alike, next question. CS: Can you tell us your real name? Judge: I have no name. CS: What made you start to like the law? Judge: Mr. Travis showed me the way to justice. He brought me off one road to destiny and showed another. I would certainly be dead now, if it weren't for him. CS: What happened after you turned your back on your gang? Judge: Each member, one by one, I confronted in the court. Every one who looked at me, trembled with fear as I sentenced them to death for their crimes. CS: What does the law mean to you? Judge: The law is everything. It is the beginning, the end... And everything in-between. The law is my life. CS: Was your mission to "right the wrongs" of the world successful? Judge: My mission will never fully succeed. There are so many wrongs that have been committed, and only me and the New Justice to right them. I can only scour the world over and over again until I have eliminated all that can be found. CS: What made you turn to wrestling? Judge: A new forum to serve justice in. It isn't good enough that I have a courtroom. The wrestling ring allows me to use my own brand of justice and right more wrongs then if I only worked in the court. In the ring, criminals can truly fall to The Judge. CS: How did you get into the SWF? Judge: I looked for the best league, full of the worst criminals to serve justice in. I've found that the SWF has most of the people that must be eliminated. CS: What did it feel like when you won the International title? Judge: Justice was served. The first major victory for the New Justice and I, on the road to destiny. CS: What are your plans for the SWF now? Judge: The road to my destiny has many stops along the way... I am a member of the Justice Department, with them all who stand before me will fall. I intend to win the SWF Championship, nothing less. And when I do achieve victory, my reign will last until the next millenium! CS: Well I believe that's it. Thank you for joining me here. Judge: Don't forget, your day in court is Thursday... You had better not be late.... Or missing. CS: I'll be sure of that. I guess... [The Judge gets up and walks out of camera view. Cat walks back to Mike Janiack.] MJ: Fans, sadly, the show is over. We'll see you next week. For Cat Spencer, and our sleepy friend, Dax Lemming, I'm Mike Janiack. Good night, and god bless. [The camera fades as Cat and Mike try to revive Dax.] *Ringside Report(c) is an SWF production. Producer Zachary Lisak.*