Adopt-A-Highway
OUR OFFICIAL POSITION:
As a proud active member
of this program,
we condemn the practice
of peeing into a bottle
or crapping into a bag
and tossing on our roads.
You animals!
FINES:
$95 to
$1,000.
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Adopt-A-Highway OUR OFFICIAL POSITION: As a proud active member of this program, we condemn the practice of peeing into a bottle or crapping into a bag and tossing on our roads. You animals! FINES: $95 to $1,000. |
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The bottles are predominantly plastic beverage containers from convenience stores: milk, juice, windshield washer fluid, anti-freeze, etc. Most of the one-gallon milk jugs littered on Canadian roads are imported by truckers from the States. Capped and thrown from a moving vehicle, some retain their seal. In the summer heat, urine bottles build up pressure and when nudged by a clean-up crew may explode, or be spun into the air by lawnmower blades. In recent years, provinces have added laws to punish pee tossers. In 1999, Ontario opted not to post urine bottle fine signs on all its highways -- the provincial legislature decided it would hurt an already poor image. Truck drivers feel they have been unfairly stained with accusations and innuendo. But then there's the case of the big trucker found dead in a one-vehicle accident in Quebec, his pants down around his knees and an open plastic bottle of urine on the cab floor. Police also found illicit urine paraphernalia in his rig including wide-mouth funnels and hose extensions used to pipe the pee down from his penis to the bottle.
British Columbia insisted it didn't have much of a problem, citing plentiful fast food restrooms as deterrents. Yet one Adopt-A-Highway Safety Bulletin from B.C. addresses Urine Bottle handling for clean-up volunteers, noting: "Report the urine to federal HazMat teams. Sometimes people use unclosed, recyclable containers for urine disposal. If your group takes home recyclable items for redemption, please use caution. Resist the temptation to empty containers of unknown liquids." Other provincial Adopt-A-Highway programs caution volunteers to leave the urine-filled bottles for the pros. As despicable as the Jugs of Pee issue is, it fades to a pale yellow when compared to the little-reported "Bags-of-BM" problem. Crews are stumbling upon plastic bags containing human feces. We don't get how this even works. With Jugs of Pee, drivers don't have to slow down to commit the crime. How are drivers managing this feces feat? The ratio appears to be roughly 20:1 (for every 1,000 bottles of urine there are about 50 bags of feces!). |
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| ONTARIO | |||
 | A stinking 7-km stretch of abandoned Trucker Bottles at the junction of QEW and Hwy. 405. Often the ramp to Hwy. 405 is closed due to security delays at the Queenston-Lewiston Bridge border crossing to the USA. Truckers wait for hours on the shoulder of the QEW and deposit thousands of Pee Jugs monthly at this location. | ||
 | HWY. 400 Southbound: As traffic heads to Toronto, truckers anticipate parking problems in the big city and pull off the freeway to deposit an inordinate number of pee-filled containers. Worst section is Interchange 64 at Bradford where vehicles use a GO Transit parking lot to unload bottles. | ||
| QUEBEC | |||
 | AUTOROUTE 15 SOUTH: At Lacolle, 100 km south of Montreal, traffic realizes it's only a few minutes from the New York border. Many panic and toss urine bottles before hitting U.S. Customs. Many reports of "drive-by tossings" at this pee-stained location. | ||
 | HWY. 138 at the intersection of Autoroute 40: On the north shore of the St. Lawrence River, this putrid section of highway gets hit hard. As traffic backs up waiting to take the ferry across the river to Sorel, bladders empty into jugs and drivers ditch them. Some capped bottles roll down the embankment and float down the river to Trois Rivières. | ||
| WESTERN PROVINCES | |||
| BRITISH COLUMBIA | |||
 | HWY. 1A: Just east of Vancouver, a 3-km stretch near Langley is rapidly becoming B.C.'s fastest growing portable toilet. RCMP say after the bars close many motorists take 1A instead of the Freeway to avoid roadside spot checks. Full with beer, many pee into bottles and chuck them in the Fraser Valley. | ||
| ALBERTA | |||
 | HWY. 14: Near Viking, 130 km east of Edmonton. Due to a lack of proper Truck Stops and rest areas, vehicles pull over on the side of the road before entering Viking and discard mega-gallons of urine onto the golden wheatfields of the Alberta prairie. | ||
 | HWY. 16: Aptly named, the Yellowhead Highway starts in Portage la Prairie, Manitoba and ends on the west coast at Prince Rupert, B.C., passing through Saskatoon, Edmonton and Prince George. Arguably the worst stretch is the 150-km pass through the Rockies between Edson and Jasper. At Yellowhead, Alta., urine discarded by the roadside could runoff on both sides of the Continental Divide! | ||
| SASKATCHEWAN | |||
 | HWY. 8: A disaster zone. As campers head to Duck Mountain Provincial Park, they dump Pee Jugs by the thousands just outside the park gates near Kamsack. Road crews refuse to pick up bottles for health concerns. | ||
| MANITOBA | |||
 | HWY. 59: This four-lane highway taking vacationers from Winnipeg to the eastern shores of Lake Winnipeg is known as Winnipee Alley. Knowing there's limited restrooms in Grand Beach during long weekends, thousands of cars toss countless urine bags out the window as they head northward to cottage country. | ||
| ATLANTIC PROVINCES | |||
| NEW BRUNSWICK | |||
 | As tourists clog up the area to visit the historic Longest Covered Bridge near Hartland, a 4-km section of the Trans-Canada (HWY. 2) near the St. John River has become a human-waste dumping ground of massive proportions. Many boaters on the river have spent $10K on installing shields to protect themselves from bottles being tossed high overhead from the bridge. | ||
| PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND | |||
 | HWY. 2: About 60 km east of Charlottetown near St. Peter's, this section of scenic island roadway is notorious for urine-filled beer bottles being littered. Since the sale of canned beer is prohibited in PEI, many simply pee into empty bottles and chuck them into fields of yellow gold potatoes. | ||
| NOVA SCOTIA | |||
 | HWY. 102: The entire length of this Halifax-to-Truro expressway is prone to Truck Bombs due to a lack of rest areas. Many roadside restaurants near the exits simply don't have the facilities to handle 18-wheelers. There's a Adopt-A-Highway Advisory in effect. Children are warned to not to pick up bottles for recycling. | ||
| NEWFOUNDLAND & LABRADOR | |||
 | HWY. 41: The bottleneck at the ferry terminal at Portugal Cove provides ample opportunity for motorists to offload urine containers while waiting for the trip to Bell Island in Conception Bay. Locals say there's so much pee on the road that it never freezes over in the winter. | ||
| UNITED STATES: LINKS | |||
 | Affiliated with the U.S. Adopt-A-Highway program, Roadside America maintains its "Jug of Pee" Alert to provide updated sporadic reports and sightings. USA Sightings Map Roadside America Link Road Star Advisory | ||
All Rights Reserved © 2004 The Chris Maher Report
