By: K.C.
It was like any other Sunday, except this Sunday Brenda decided that she would go to church. Sonny had always told her how she should go and how good it is. Then she thought it was just a bunch of jibberish, but after they had survived the cave together she knew there had to be a bigger thing. The weeks after the cave, she also knew she needed help to get over this addiction and if anything, she needed one thing to turn to. She got dressed up and snuck out trying so hard no to wake Jax up. While driving to the nearby church she thinks about all the mistakes she�s made over that past years, leading up to this time. Her life was a mess and she would admit that. All this mess all comes back to one day. The sad day years ago where she wore the wire. To this day she knows that if she hadn�t worn that bug, her life would have been very different. Brenda�s mind drifts back to that day, MARCH�.
Sonny has just found the bug on her and tells her to leave and never come back. He starts throwing her clothes all over the apartment and then leaves in a flurry. She can remember that moment as if it had just happened. She still remembers the hurt and confused look in his eyes. She sees the anger and the pain. This memory will stay with her forever. In the midst of her thought, she arrives at church and parks the car in a front row space. She hesitates before leaving the car, but then gets out and takes a deep breath. She walks into the large church. It�s the church where Sonny and Lily were married. Yet another day that she will remember. She felt as if that dday meant that Sonny would no longer be hers. Inside the church there are a few people already sitting in the pews. She sits in a pew towards the back. She feels awkward by the silence and not knowing exactly what to do. She sits there for a few minutes, still thinking, still caught up in her thoughts. Then a hand on her shoulder startles her.
"Fancy seeing you hear."
"Well, I guess all your bugging me to come finally worked."
"It�ll do you good," Sonny said with a sincere look on his face.
"I guess."
"So, where�s Jax?"
"At home. I didn�t want to wake him up so early. He got home late last night."
"What was so important to him, that he would leave you alone?"
"It was business."
"Still, he shouldn�t have left you. Something bad could have happened to you."
"Well, Harry�s dead, so I don�t think I�m in any more danger."
Brenda�s minds drifts back to when Harry kidnapped her. She remembers how scared she was. Even more how scared she was that she would never get to have another chance with Sonny. She thinks of when her and Sonny thought they were going to die. That they would never see the light of day again. That night of passion, when they made love. It wasn�t how she wanted it to be. She dreamed of how they would reunite and it would be this special night. They would runaway. Runaway somewhere like Puerto Rico and they would make sweet love on the beach. Now here she was a month after the cave. She was still fighting. Fighting for herself to be sane without those pills. Without Sonny. She thinks of how it would be to be with Sonny again. How it would be to wake up next to him. The good feeling in her heart when she knows he�ll protect her. But now she knows that day may never come. She has Jax. She loves Jax, but still has always loved Sonny. She can�t think of a time since she met Sonny that she hasn�t loved him.
"Well, princess, you�d better get home before Jax wakes up thinks you�ve runaway with me."
"I will, after church. I mean I think I want to be here. I think that something wants me here."
"Maybe if you pray, you�ll know what you want. The life you deserve."
Sonny gets up and walks to a setup of candles, meant to be lit, for a prayer. Sonny kneels, lights a candle for the same reason he has every other Sundays for the past three years. It�s the prayer that both he and Brenda could someday be happy.
Brenda kneels, closes her eyes, and prays the best she knows how: