I am skipping class again, however today I would like to believe that it is no fault of my own - instead, the student bookstore shoulders all the onus due to the fact that they are (surprise!) out of canvases once again. I've probably attended ~50% of my painting class this term (if that), but what can I say, I was sick/ill/explosively diarrhetic/insert excuse here. Mostly though, I hate showing up unprepared. I don't have a canvas, so I couldn't paint anyway. And thus, here I am, killing time at the library.
After doodling in my sketchbook for what I estimate to be about an hour, frustrated with my failing efforts at project brainstorming I sit back and take in the library. I'm in a row of cubicles, there's a dude with a noisy laptop behind me who sips coffee even noisier, and in front of me is another dude I think, but he could have left and been replaced with an equally silent person. I am the median of this little "study group," sighing in medium tones over my predicaments, those being firstly my poor attendance, secondly my immense amount of make up work due to my poor attendance, and thirdly everything else (including my plans for attaining world peace and world domination, simultaneously). I sigh a loaded sigh, examining my little cubby for inspiration. Someone's written an ad for a skate exhibition or competition, who knows, but I'm four months too late to find out; oh look, you can email [email protected] if you want to get high, but I'm sure this is also a limited time offer so act now, supplies are limited; and then "sure, there's just the rather large matter of my penis." I dare you to try and find one cubby without penis on it. Double dog dare you. If you can find one without any racist/sexist/anarchist/animal activist comments also, hell, I'll give you my shiny loonie! Buy yourself a liter of gasoline, you might get 20 blocks in the city if you don't get incessantly stopped and slowed by traffic, lights, and cops, oh my! But I digress.
Oh Jenny Jenny, I've got your number, 867-5309. And here's a lovely poem to get you in a studying mood -
"People are gay
when you're a homo
penis looks tasty
when you're a fag
women are lucious
not to the limp-wrist
anus is gorgeous
man ass preferred."
I kid you not, that gem is etched into the aged brown wood of my cubby. Sadly, even with all this I'm not sure I can trade up for a cubby that says "LU sucks" instead. Oh wait, right here it says "LU BLOWS!", all caps and even an exclamation point!
That's bargaining power right there.
Someone has written "crap" and put it in a big box, very sophisticated if I do say so myself - oh wait, here's the whole story, someone attempted to wash it out (what a jerk), but here we go, I can barely make it out -
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| TOOL | new album April 17 2007
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| CRAP | new album April 17 2007
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At least that's a date I can make.
