i realized something this morning.

i always, always loved you back then - my best friend, and more than that.  i don't know if its better or worse now, since i was never brave enough to just say.  i'm with someone now, and we've grown far apart, whether it be by distance only or inclusive of the years between us that i know, -I- messed up.  i could've stayed closer to you, could've tried harder to stay best friends, could've been there for you more and let you be there for me, but i think you know what things have happened.  and i let it be my excuse to go a little crazy and i left so much of my life and happiness in the wake and in the dust of my escape.  i thought i was running from unhappiness... but i ran all the way back home and found only that i had been truly and utterly stupid.

i love everything here.  i will always have a special place for you in my heart, and i love you still the same.  even if we never get back to being friends, i am happy for our memories, so thanks for that.

i hope you are well.