your voice is different on the phone.



we haven't talked this way in years - its comforting and alien all at once.



its funny to me because there was a time in my life that you couldn't separate me from my phone by force; now i leave it places on purpose just so i won't have to answer.



i wonder what answers i'm shying away from, really.



but for you, for you i'm keeping it close at hand again, holding my breath between rings - and when its you there on the other line my heart stumbles for a second, just like old times.  i'm so eager just to hear your voice.  to hear you.



i worry over the distance between us, the miles and minutes and month apart.  part of me is worried sick, and part of me, is not.



because i trust you.



and that's a big fucking deal, these days.



i know you will prove my faith in you.



i hope you will prove my faith.



trust and hope and faith...  and love.  all limbs to go out on.  tests of heart. 



if i could just hear you right now, i think i might feel a little stronger.



even though your voice is different on the phone.



i miss you.  and i love you.



i'll be counting down 'til you come home soon.