Hidden Love
((The steve in this poem is not the Steve that I am currently with ))
You'll never get to read this which saddens me because it truly comes from my heart. Steve i've been thinking about you and i'm on the verge of going insane. I want you so bad, that my heart aches. Because of what has happened between Kas and I and Pat and I, I will never be able to reveal my true feelings...I'm so confused inside, once again falling into my depression...I dont know what to do anymore. Do I continue living through this pain or do I end it all?If i end my life, I will be free of suffereing but is it worth hurting my family and friends?I don't know what to do... I'm affraid of life and not death. Am I normal to want to end my life for not only a love that will be hidden but also to end this painfull depression? Onlytime will tell what the futur will bring... And who knows how much time that is.
Lilly(October 20th '99)
