I hate having so much stuff on my mind that I'm almost to the point here it makes me crazy.

I can't help myself from thinking about it fuck it pisses me off!

I've been in such a daze for the past week or even more than that. like I don't know half of what I'm doing I'll do something and not remember I've done it. like for example, I think I called Steve last night, but honestly I don't remember talking to him. I ate this ause maybe something important was said and my dumbass can't even remember it.

And work!!!! I like my job and I like the people that I work with, but it honestly a very depressing job.

You work alone most of the time and when I am alone I think about stuff and it is mostly sad stuff. and I get all edgy. So when I get home my parents will ask me a simple question or something and I'll snap and they don't know why.

And another thing, my ches tpiercing is being a stupid bitch!!

it hurts one minute then the next it is alright and grr!! just pisses me off I wish it would heal properly and I would never hae to worry about it again.

XVI is back up which is a good thing cause I get bored at home sometimes.

Last night at work I asked Karine to call me this morning cause I wanted to go back to the school with them and get my yearbook signed by some teachers well she never fucking called me.

In a way im glad cause I went to bed around 2 and fell asleep around 4 so I was really tired but still I really want to go so When I see her at work tonight(she better be there) I'm going to arrange something to go to the school with her during one of her exams.

Anyways hmmm..... it is 2:25 in the afternoon and I still have like an hour to waste before going to work.

I wish I had a full time job, you would hear me complain that im tired and shit but I would have shitloads more money and It would give me something to do, seeing as well some of my friends have full time jobs and im here at home doing nothing all day.

Someone come over to my place and chill with me. dont bother getting dressed just come in your pjs and we'll pig out on dry cereal and drink milk from the bag. how does that sound? anyone willing to spend sometime with lilly?

FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!!! I was so lonely last night and wanting to talk to people that I went and dowloaded mfuckingIRC again. I hate myself for doing that because it just reminded me of te crap that I went through just a few weeks ago and in the past. grrr@!!!!! someone punish me for i have been a bad grrl!

anyways im going to go see if some random people in icq feel like chatting. bye xoxo