November 7th 1999
ok.. hm.... well yes this section of my page has been negelected but i blame geocities fot that! damn thing wouldn't let me save stuff. anyways, my depression came back and well in two days (November 9th) will be one year since my suicide attempt and tomorrow will be a year since Eric told me he was gay.. hmmm... i wonder how i will feel on thoses two days. I have been working alot lately getting nice pay checks and spending them all on shit as suaul. i moving in with my sister on december first so i need to save rent money but this week was a busy week at work so my pay will cover it. i have been going through something really emotional that noone knows about and i am not exactly sure what to do about it! i am sort of in a state of mind that i just want to work make money finish school and no one better bother me because i am going to rip their head off. there is this guy who really and when i say really i mean REALLY likes e and we have messed around and shit and i dont want a relationship right now but he does with me and doesnt seem to get it. anyways i dont know what to do. i dont even know what i want in life right now.argh!!! so anyway i am blabbing here but it feels really good just to get certain things off my chest. today is the one year anniversary of marks (Sol) death. i went into #suicide and read that as the topic and i remembered exactly what we chatted about on this very day one year ago in that channel. i dont know what i would do with some of the people from the internet mostly from #suicide. ginga is such a roking person she is pregnant now and her bf lives in France:( he is supposted to come back soon i hope he does they are good for each other:) ok well i am going to go now because i am tired of typing and i am waiting for troper in the chat, want to talk to him see how he is holding up... be back sometime soon hopefully
