1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership." He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
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2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS!
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear
gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside
them, shouting "Please come out and give yourself up".
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3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced
him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper
then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
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4. THESE NITWITS ARE TEACHING OUR CHILDREN??
A 9-year-old boy in
Manassas, Virginia received a one day suspension under his elementary
school's drug policy last week for Certs! Joey Hoefer allegedly told a
classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher".
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5. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the
money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied
up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until
police showed up and grabbed him.
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6. TOO WELL-EDUCATED.
In Medford, Oregon, a 27-year-old jobless man with an MBA blamed his
college degree for his murder of three people. "There are too many
business grads out there," he said. "If I had chosen another field, all
this may not have happened."
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7. DID I SAY THAT???
(or can you say dumb!) Police in Los Angeles had
good luck with a robbery
suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When
detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me
all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "that's not what I
said!"
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8. ARE WE COMMUNICATIG??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the
doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
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9. NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER!!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying
to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon.
King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but
unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
(hellllllloooooooooo !)
