One day, I went to go get a license for my dog. I went to the man behind the little window and said:
"I would like a license for Sex."
"So would I," he replied.
"No, I'm talking about a real dog."
"It doesn't matter what she looks like, you seem to be happy enough with her."
"No! No! You don't understand! I have had Sex since I was very young."
"You must have been some wild kid." I didn't understand this person, but I did manage to get a license for my dog anyway.
Soon after that I was married to a lovely lady. On our honeymoon, we went to a quiet motel in Portland, OR. I had brought along the dog, since nobody seemed to want to babysit him while we were gone. Knowing that having a dog in the room would be a discomfort to my new wife, I talked to the Manager.
"Could I have another room for Sex."
"Oh, I assure you, sir. All of our rooms are fit for sex."
"No! No! You don't understand! You see, Sex keeps me and my wife up all
night."
"Me too! It's supposed to!" I didn't understand this person, but I did manage to get an extra room for my dog anyway.
After another year of living with my humble hound, I had noticed that a Dog Show had come to town, and they were holding a contest for the best-looking dog in the city. Naturally, as I was quite proud of Sex, I ran right down and entered him in the contest. "Excuse me, but may I have a display booth for Sex?" "I'm sorry sir, but we can't allow that here." "Oh please! I wanted to have Sex on television and everything!" "I'm dreadfully sorry, but I don't think I can fulfill your request." "No! No! You don't understand! Sex is very nice." "Well, I know that, but we still can't do that -- Especially on TV." Disgruntled and disappointed, I took my dog home with me while the dog show went on.
After a few more years, I grew quite tired of living with my wife. She took to nagging quite frequently, and one day we just decided to quit everything and get a divorce. As we were in court, we fought over custody of the mutt.
"Excuse me, Judge, but I would like to have Sex."
"Now! Now! This is a courtroom!"
No! No! You don't understand! I have had sex before I was marrid."
"So have I."
"But after I got married I lost Sex!"
"So did I!"
"But please, Your Honor, let me just have Sex for as long as I can."
"Well, I can't do anything about that..."
However, I was quite happy in discovering that I had gotten custody of the dog.
Living on my own, I had to move into an apartment where I had to walk the dog frequently, as Sex was not fond of living indoors. One day, while I was buying hot dog at the hot dog stand, Sex broke loose of my grip and ran away, leash and all. I forgot about the hot dog and searched for him,
all day and well into the night. I was looking in the alley when a policeman came to me.
"Excuse me, sir, but what are you doing in this alleyway at 4 am?"
"Hello Officer. I'm just looking for Sex."
My case comes up next Friday.
Okay. Funny right? I found this story sometime last year and thought it was hilarious. I don't know if you can copyright jokes, but I don't know who to give credit to for this one. If the person who made it would like me to remove it from my site, email me at
[email protected].