his couch to answer it..>

Justin: Yello?

Scary Voice: Hello, Justin.

Justin: Um, who be dis?

Scary Voice: Well, you tell me.

Justin: I gots no ideas.

Scary Voice: Do you like scary movies?

Justin: Yeah g! I saw dat Backstreet Boys

home video 20 times, yo!

Scary Voice: That's not what I'm talking

about you fucking idiot! I mean HORROR movies!

Like, "Halloween H20" or Friday the 13th,=94 or

something like that!

Justin: Ohhh! Nah, homes, I don't watch

much shit like dat. At least not without my mommy

around ... hold up a minute, who da hell is dis?

I've gotta fly honey comin' over in a second, so I

can't be wastin' my flava on you!

Scary Voice: Her name wouldn't be..

Britney- would it?

Justin: HELLS NO! I wouldn't touch that

skank if ya'll PAID me!

Scary Voice: Then who the hell do I have

tied up on your patio?

Justin: WHAT?!


the patio lights. There sits Britney, tied to a

chair bruised and bleeding.....>

Justin: Yo- it's abouts time someone did

that!

Scary Voice: We're going to play a little

game, Justin. If you answer the question right,

Britney lives. If you get it wrong, then I kill her

and leave her body in your Benz.

Justin: My Benz! Oh my God, da blood would

never come out of the upholstery! [Justin starts to

cry.] Okay, okay! I'll play yo' game, g!

Scary Voice: First question ... name the

other members of NSYNC in 10 seconds or less.

Justin: [Pausing] Uhh, well ... um, there's

JC, ... what's-his-face Chris!... uh, there's one

named Lance, right? Okay, dats four ...

Scary Voice: Times up! Say bye-bye to

Britney!


her fat rolls out falling all over the patio.>

Scary Voice: Now, Justin. On to Round Two

... what color are you?

Justin: What?

Scary Voice: You heard me, what COLOR are

you?!



Scary Voice: Are you BLACK or WHITE,

Justin?

Justin: [finally, after a hesitation, he

answers...] Yo, is dis a trick question?

Scary Voice: Wrong Answer, Justin!


suddenly jumps through the glass door. He stabs

Justin 34 times. (violent much?) and hangs his body

from the rafters.>

Justin (dying): Joey! ...Dats..who da

other..one...is!


horrible news...>

Lance (hanging up the phone): Hey, you

guys, I got some bad news. Somebody killed Justin

last night.

Chris: WHAT?!

JC: Oh my God! Justin's dead?! Without

Justin, we're ruined! Who else can even get

8-year-olds sexually aroused but him? Certainly not

any of us.

Joey: Hey, when are we eating?

Chris: Is that all you can think about? My

BEST FRIEND is dead! He was the only one who ever

laughed at my jokes! I'm screwed!

Lance: Hey, on the plus side, somebody

killed Britney too.

JC: Well, I guess every cloud does have its

silver lining.


the room>

Lou: Boys, I'm sure you've heard the

terrible news. I'm probably losing thousands of

dollars as we speak. Anyway, to be on the safe

side, I'm imposing a curfew on you. You must all be

indoors by 9 o' clock.



Chris: What a fat piece of shit.

Joey (looking up from a bag of chips): Huh?

Chris: No, not you Joey. I was talking

about Lou.

Joey: Oh.

JC: So what are we going to do?

Lance: Well, if we have to be in by nine,

why don't we invite all of our friends over so we

won't be lonely?

JC: Yeah, but Lance, you don't have any

friends.

Lance: Oh yeah. Okay, why don't we just all

get wasted and make fun of Joey instead?

JC and Chris: Okay!



Chris: Hey, can somebody get me another

beer?

Lance: Yeah, me too.

JC: Me three.



Joey: How come I'm always the one who has

to get the beer?

JC: What else are you good for?

Lance: Hey Joey, I think there's a coke in

the garage.

Joey: Coke?

Lance (nodding): Yeah, a Superman-shaped

one. You can have it if you get us more beer.

Joey: SUPERMAN-SHAPED!! Oh my, God, I think

I just had an orgasm!

JC: That was more than I needed to know.


garage and looks around excitedly. His excitement

soon turns to confusion.>

Joey: Hey, I don't see any coke! But Lance

wouldn't LIE to me! I've shared too much of myself

with him to do that!


around only to come face to face with the dark,

scary ghost-faced man.>

Joey: What the hell?


Joey. Joey shrieks and tries to squeeze through the

cat door, only to find that his head is the only

thing he can fit.>

Joey: Well, this is...awkward.


Joey is decapitated. Poor Joey. Meanwhile,

elsewhere in the house...>

JC (returning from the bathroom, YES,

contrary to teenybopper belief, NSYNC DOES use the

bathroom)! : Hey guys, what's taking Joey so long?

Chris: Who cares? He's gone. Lets enjoy the

moment.

JC: Well, I'm going to check on him.


Joey's body hanging from the door. Suppressing the

urge to vomit, he runs back to the living room to

tell Chris and Lance what he'd discovered.

JC (panicking): You guys! Joey's dead! I

saw his body hanging ... (trailing off) Uh, guys,

why are you SMILING like that?


laugh.>

Lance: What's not to smile about? Justin's

dead, Joey's dead, and soon you'll be dead. (Lance

raises a bloody knife and slowly advances towards

JC.) You like my knife? It's an antique. As BOP

reported, I really do collect them. But you already

knew that, didn't you, JC? That's because you know

everything, don't you?

JC: Chris! Help me out here!

Chris: Help? HELP? Why? So you can steal

more of my solos later? I don't think so.

JC: Why? Why would you do something like

this?

Lance: Why? 'Cause I'm from

MISSI-FUCKING-SSIPPI, THAT'S WHY! Or how about

this? Lets see, how you would feel if people

constantly told you that you couldn't dance, that

you were really a girl, and that you were having

sex with JOEY?! You would want to kill people too!

JC: You've got a point ... but Lance, all

those things are true.

Lance: Shut the fuck up!

JC: Chris? What about you, what's YOUR

motive, huh?

Chris: My motive? I'm a 27 year old virgin

(not really, but whatever) with dreadlocks, and the

only people who see me as a sexual being are under

the age of fourteen. Plus, I'm the CRAZY one of the

group! It comes with the territory!

JC: Fair enough.

Lance: But you haven't even seen the best

part. (Lance snaps his fingers.) Chris! Bring the

surprise!


gagged and bound.>

JC: Oh my God! You've kidnapped Nick

Carter!

Lance: Picture this: Nick relizes that he

is not the number one sex symbol in America anymore

because of a certain JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. He snaps,

and goes on a killing spree. He kills all the

members of NSYNC, except, of course, me and Chris.

Chris: Being the stupid fuck that he is, he

forgets that we're in the group ... actually, most

people tend to forget that.

Lance: Then, the reality of what he's done

hits him, and he kills himself. It's perfect!

JC: Yeah, except ... hey, what's Topanga

doing here?


kicks the knife out of Lance's hand and grabs it.

He stabs Chris through the forehead. Chris stumbles

and falls face-first into the kitty-litter box.>

Lance: Wow, he finally did something funny.

JC: I'll say.


wets his pants for the fifth time. Finally, JC

manages to tip the refrigerator over, crushing

Lance's skull. JC unties Nick.>

Nick: Oh, JC! Your my hero!

JC: Dude, get the fuck off me. (JC brushes

himself off.) Hey, now I can finally have a solo

career! What a great ending! I'm

freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!