Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow




�� Born of one world, but fled to another, Miredith of Redfairn was born twenty-some years ago to a derrie-down Laird of the Seelie Court. She was not a welcome child; her mother died in childbirth, and Miredith turned out fragile, a girl, and a painter...thoroughly useless in every respect, in the eyes of her father. It was a difficult childhood, for Mirie sensed her father's contempt and reacted strongly to it, usually in the worst possible ways. The sharp realization that she, a frail child whose stay upon the earth was terribly limited, did not belong in these unchanging realms, was one that came to her far too soon.


I have not loved the world, nor the world me;
I have not flatter'd its rank breath, nor bow'd
To its idolatries a patient knee.

~Lord Byron

�� Miredith's one source of comfort was the youngest of her three elder half-brothers, Rhys, an impetuous and reckless fighter who sensed his sister's desperation and understood her futile struggles with their father. He counseled patience, then introduced her to the man she was betrothed to shortly after, a friend of his who became Mirie's one source of joy in a life that was all too often less than joyful. But this, like all other good things, ended far too soon when he was killed in an Unseelie raid. After several months of withdrawn sorrow, Miredith recovered from his death...somewhat. Throwing all her energy into her painting, she elicited a fierce, bitter argument with her father that infuriated her so deeply she swore to leave at once.


Suffering is by no means a privilege, a sign of nobility, a reminder of God. Suffering is a fierce, bestial thing, commonplace, uncalled for, natural as air. It is intangible; no one can grasp it or fight against it; it dwells in time�is the same thing as time; if it comes in fits and starts, that is only so as to leave the sufferer more defenseless during the moments that follow, those long moments when one relives the last bout of torture and waits for the next.

~Cesare Pavese




�� Leaving home was a foolish decision...foolish beyong belief, which was why her threat was ignored, and her unexpected late-night ride was dismissed as a childish act of rebellion. But Miredith had been planning her departure for some time. The Mage of Redfairn, Ruadhan, had been a friend since childhood, and his Tower a frequent escape. She went to him, and alternately begged, demanded, and threatened in order to gain his help. Her request? That he send her away...far away...an entire world away from the homeland she had come to hate. He agreed, but on one condition: that she would come back before she died, so that her fate would not be unknown. She agreed, and he sent her away, leaving her with a single method of return that could be used only once. Knowing this, she delays her return for as long as possible.


Never let success hide its emptiness from you, achievement its nothingness, toil its desolation. And so...keep alive the incentive to push on further, that pain in the soul which drives us beyond ourselves...Do not look back. And do not dream about the future, either. It will neither give you back the past, nor satisfy your other daydreams. Your duty, your reward�your destiny�are here and now.

~Dag Hammarskj�ld




�� She became Miredith of Lyndon, a painter from a place that did not exist. Making a new life for herself in this new world was not easy. Miredith was, for the first time in her life, grateful that she could pass quite well for human...she avoids nearly all questions about her past, preferring to say simply that it was a chapter of her life that ended five years ago. Garnering a reputation as an artist was not easy, either. But at last, success began to trickle in. She was able to make a decent living by selling her paintings, and then more than merely a decent living. Her ambition, further sparked by this, drives her onward relentlessly, through health and illness alike. She cannot bring herself to stop now...she has too much to lose, and too much to prove, both to herself and to those she left behind. She refuses to return until her ambition has been sated...which may well be never.


But you said dying wasn't on your mind when you weren't sick. When you weren't laid out in bed, coughing...struggling... You said you didn't think about it, but how could you not? How could you not be afraid the next day might be just a little harder, your lungs more tired, your breath feebler? When you're sick like that, isn't every day a sick day, even when you're better? ...Isn't there a part of you that waits for things to worsen, that expects to die?

~Michael Blumlein, "The Thing Itself"




�� Miredith is well aware that her time is terribly limited, that she will likely die before another ten years have passed. The knowledge does not hold her back; rather, it causes her to be even more reckless than she would be otherwise. She often paints till she collapses of weakness, but she refuses to stop. It is all she has, she believes, and she refuses to let go. She is often irritable and cold, preferring to mask a once-warm and lively spirit, for she fears growing too close to anyone or anything will distract her from her goals and make her departure more difficult. For now, she remains in the area of the DragonHold, but plans to depart shortly for a city where her art will be more recognized. Her only friends in this world are Thalmion Nierdre, an elf, and his companion Arathriel, a moonhorse. Despite her resolve to remain aloof, she has grown fond of both, which sparks ever more conflict in her tumultuous soul.


Don�t look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you�ll know you�re dead.

~Tennessee Williams

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