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Angelique
by
Beth Adair
Ivy lay limp on her bed, crying. She thought of her mother. She tried
so hard to remember her voice. It's funny, how, after just three years,
a memory of something as simple as a person's voice can fade away. Ivy
had been battling depression for several years, but it had gotten much
worse after her mom had died. Ivy was having a really hard time dealing
with her mom's death. She retreated into herself. She did not talk in
school, never did anything with other people, and was flunking all her
classes. Her dad felt so helpless. He loved Ivy so much, but what
could he do? She seemed to withdraw even more when he tried to talk to
her about anything.
Ivy found Angelique as a newborn kitten a week after her mother died.
Ivy had been walking down an alley when she came upon this tiny kitten.
It had looked up to her, whimpered, and crawled to Ivy's feet. Ivy
picked it up and held it close to her. She could feel it's tiny heart
beating. She heard singing; it seemed to be coming from the kitten.
She held the kitten up to her ear. At that same moment, she heard her
mother's voice singing her favorite lullaby. Ivy was convinced that
this small animal was sent from her mother. She took the kitten home
and fed it from a baby bottle. Ivy loved the kitten more than any other
living being. She named it Angelique as a representation from whom it
was sent. Angelique comforted her when she cried and shared in her few,
but joyous moments of happiness, most having been caused by Angelique
herself.
Lately, though, Ivy has been having an all-time low. She has been
thinking about suicide a lot and been planning out the situation. She
did not want to hurt anyone else, but also did not want to put herself
through a lot of physical pain. She decided she would poison herself
with carbon monoxide. As Ivy sat on her bed planning her death,
Angelique came trotting in the room, smiling. Ivy looked sadly at her.
"Oh, my baby, come here." Angelique jumped up on Ivy's bed and snuggled
in her lap. Ivy scratched Angelique's ears and rubbed her tummy. Ivy
hugged Angelique tightly and buried her head in her fur and cried.
Angelique could tell something was wrong, but she did not know what.
She wished she could make Ivy happier.
Ivy looked into Angelique's eyes. "You know honey, I am not going to be
here for long. I know I am abandoning you, but I cannot stand it
anymore. My heart hurts so badly, even you, my only love, cannot heal
it. Thank you for always being there for me, you helped me when I
thought nothing would. I promise that Daddy will take care of you. You
can live here in my room. He loves you and will take very good care of
you. We will be together again soon. And, I will finally be with my
Mommy again. I miss her so much." Ivy lay down on her bed and
Angelique crawled on her stomach. "You know Angelique, I love you more
than anyone else has or ever will love you. You have brought so much
happiness and comfort to me when I expected dismal and aching
emotions." Angelique purred and pawed at Ivy's neck. Ivy wrote her dad
and brothers a note telling them she loved them and asking them to take
care of Angelique. Then, she snuck into her brother's room and opened
his desk drawer. She took out the keys to his car and went down to the
garage. She locked the door to the house and shut the garage door. Her
whole family was out of the house and would not be home for a couple
hours. She got in the front seat of her brother's truck and locked all
the doors and closed all the windows. She turned on the car and lay
down on the seat.
The ceiling of the truck began to swirl in patterns above her.
Suddenly, she heard a loud clawing at the door. What was it? Ivy sat
up and reached for the door. Dizzy and lightheaded, she opened the
door. Angelique leaped in her face, waking her up completely.
Angelique licked her face and clawed at her legs until Ivy fell on the
ground. Ivy realized that Angelique had just stopped her from making a
huge mistake. She was so happy that she could not wait to hold
Angelique in her arms. She stood up and closed the truck door. She
called for Angelique. "Angelique, baby, where are you?" She was so
relieved when she heard her meow. No, she heard it from inside the
truck. She hurried to open the door. It was locked! She tried again.
She could not get it open. Where was the key? She thought for a
moment. It was in the truck. She pounded on the window as hard as she
could. Angelique clawed at the inside of the door and meowed
desperately. Ivy did not know what to do. Angelique looked up at Ivy
hopefully, with pleading eyes. Tears were streaming down Ivy's face.
"Angelique, I am coming Sweetie, I am coming, I will get you out!" Ivy
could not think clearly, she should get something hard to break the
window. She looked around; she saw a snow shovel. She picks it up and
swung it at the window. She did this several times until the glass
shattered to the ground.
She reached in grabbed her beloved cat. Ivy opened the garage door and
ran outside, Angelique in her arms. Ivy could feel tiny breaths forced
in and out of Angelique. Her eyes were closed and her heart was beating
very slowly. Angelique took one last breath, and as she did, Ivy heard
her mother's voice, singing the lullaby to her beloved daughter.
Posted December 23, 1999