"So long ago. Was it a dream? Was it just dream?"

                                                                                     #9 dream

     John Lennon died 20 years ago on December 8,1980. I’m listening to “Imagine” as I write this. The classic heartfelt piano phrasing gets me every time. So does his voice. Yet there’s that irrefutable fact that he’s gone. 20 years ago. Gone into the great beyond.

     Whether he would approve or not, Lennon has become a patron saint for artists everywhere. This past weekend there were tributes all over the world. The fans gathered at Strawberry Fields on New York for the annual vigil. People laid flowers at the memorial on Liverpool. Yoko Ono did her private grieving at The Dakota. Oddly, Fidel Castro unveiled a bronze statue of Lennon sitting on a park bench at a park in Havana. Lennon  would have objected to all this but he became a legend nonetheless.

     To me, Lennon’s a constant source of inspiration. I was a seven year old boy in Puerto Rico when he was assassinated and clueless as of his existence. Yet I grew up with the Beatles as my mother was a fan and had the essential collection--by my early teens I knew who John Lennon was and the songs he had written. I didn’t know he was dead perhaps since the concept of death is something that doesn’t sink in until you’re much older. As a boy, John Lennon was alive to me, he sang in The Beatles in records such as Rubber Soul, Revolver, Help, and Sgt Pepper’s. He even appeared in movies such as A Hard Days Night and Help. Yet somewhere in the realm of physical things he was dead. I remember being in high school, sitting on a physics class on the 10 year anniversary of his death and how the class listened to a broadcast of “Imagine” on the radio. As an adult, and as an artist, Lennon’s life and voice is one of my sources of strength and reflection.

     He was a visionary for many reasons. His musical legacy speaks for itself. The work with the Beatles then the individualistic records of his solo years. The simplicity and beauty of Imagine. The optimism of Give Peace A Change. The celebration of Instant Karma. Lennon’s music wasn’t made of revolutionary chords or raging messages. On the contrary, his music was powered by the fundamentals of Love, Peace, Equality and Healing--concepts which are often thought as trite but in the long run are demonstrated as the greater mysteries of life. His pleas for world peace as he slept in bed with Yoko may have seem like a joke but they ring true to this day as one man’s attempt at communicating to the world that love not war is the answer. Lennon insisted on living his own cherished private life. He didn’t need much more than his Yoko, His Sean, His piano, his private space at the Dakota. In the back of his mind, there was the reality that he was a rock star, filthy rich and adored by millions. Yet, he was just himself and never seemed to abuse his persona. Perhaps he knew that in the end a man could do no more than just take care of himself. And perhaps we seek to have the wisdom of such simplicity. He was not perfect, as no human being ever his. He did some drugs. His relationship with Yoko Ono was a peculiar, and at times, dysfunctional one. Infidelities occurred, as they occur in the life of any man. And his relationship with his son Julian was tenous, a fact Julian Lennon regrets to this day. As I’ve learned, the lives of famous persons are as full of contradictions and transgressions as anyone else’s. Yet Lennon has become a saint in spite of his human frailties.

     At times, when I listen to one his songs, or watch him in one of the many documentaries about his life, an immense, overwhelming sense of sadness comes over me. Is it possible to grieve for those who are spiritually kindred even though we have no physical connection to them? Perhaps that is my case as the thought that John Lennon is dead fills me with such sadness and anger that one such as he is dead and that the world was robbed of his music. Perhaps somewhere in the great beyond an essence that was once John Lennon hovers and comes through in the spaces within our souls where his music fills us with love, joy and peace. Perhaps….the mystery that is death is merciful in accommodating his love and essence into the universe. After all…as he sang…we can Imagine…that he’s somewhere out there.

                                                              copyright 2000  

     Armando Valle can be e-mailed at:[email protected]

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