If you're anything like me, you dread thinking about the future...that great, looming presence that keeps you up at night, worrying.  OK, well I don't exactly sit up worrying about the next day or even 5 years from now, but whatever.
People tell me that as teenagers and people in general, we should live for today, stop dweeling on the past, and fearing the future.  Then why is it that the first question adults always ask me is: "So, where do you want to go to college?"
This question doesn't make me angry, it's just mildly annoying, like when it's hot outside and those tiny gnats are flying around everywhere.  Or like when you're typing an essay and the power suddenly goes out, and you realize you hadn't saved yet.
Anyway, I think my point is that I just don't like to think about what comes next.  It's too scary.  Too intimidating.
Who knows what I'll do with my life?  I'd love to go to school somewherein North Carolina because....well, I don't know.  It's close enough that I can drive home for holidays, but far enough away that the parents won't visit all the time.  I have no idea what I want to do and that scares the crap outta me.
I could be a famous archaeologist and discover something....old; I could be an artist, even though I have only average skills; I could be a poet or writer, but I'm lazy and have a short attention span.  I can't even rant well.  Not on paper, anyway.  And I've always wanted to be a rock star in a band.  But...I don't know how to play an instrument.
And, as my brother would gently put it, all of these career options are worthless because I wouldn't make any money.
I don't want to be terrified of my future- don't want to block it out, but fear is a catalyst, right?
Another annoying thing is when you finish writing something and you realize it's a worthless piece of crap....
sigh....