-After eating, do amphibians have to wait 1/2 an hour before getting OUT of the water?
-Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
-Aren't all generalizations false?
-Can fat people go skinny dipping?
-Can you get arrested for running into a fire-house yelling "Movie! Movie!"?
-Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
-Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
-Did Adam and Eve have belly-buttons?
-Do one-legged ducks swim in circles?
-Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
-Do you need a silencer if you're going to shoot a mime?
-Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's and 4's?
-Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?
-How can there be self-help Groups??
-How do you know when yogurt goes bad?
-How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
-How do they get the deer to cross at those yellow signs?
-"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the english language.  Could it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?
-If you take an oriental man and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
-If people from Poland are calles poles, why aren't people from Holland called holes?
-If you miked vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philip's screwdriver?
-If a pig loses it's voice, is it disgruntled?
-If a turtle loses it's shell, is it naked, or homeless?
-If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-If lawyers are disbarred, and clergymen defrocked, could it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
-If olive oil is made from squished olives, what is baby oil made from?
-If a stealth bomber crashes in the forest, will it make a sound?
-If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
-If "inert" is to be stationary, what is "ert"?
-If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a sucess?
-If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar, do you believe him?
-If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
-If a dog sweats through his tongue, why he still have armpits?
-If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
-If a mute child swears, does his mother have to wash his hands with soap?
-If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
-If a stealth bomber crashes in the forest, does it make a sound?
-If a syncronized swimmer drowns, does her partner also have to drown?
-If a tree falls in the forest and lands on a mime, does anyone care?
-If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?
-If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green, or a lemon called a yellow?
-If God sneezes...what should you say?
-If knees were backward, what would chairs look like?
-Is there reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the special olympics?
-If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?
-If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide-and-seek with himself, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
-If the folks at the psychic hotlines were actually psychic, wouldn't they call you?
-If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
-If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
-If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
-If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?
-If you can read the writing, isn't that end already up?
-If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?
-If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you through her a surprise birthday party?
-If you keep trying to prove Murphy's law?, will something keep going wrong?
-If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time?
-If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
-If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
-If you take a shower, where do you put it?
-If you throw a cat out the car window, does it become kitty litter?
-If you're crossed-eyed, and have dyslexia, can you read properly?
-If you are driving at the speed of light, what happens if you turn your headlights on?
-If you are in a funeral procession at night, should you turn your headlights off?
-Is it possible to be totally partial?
-Is it true that canibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
-Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cacoons in their stomach?
-Shouldn't it be some things in moderation?
-Shouldn't there ba a shorter word for monosyllabic?
-Since cats always land on their feet, and jelly bread always lands jelly side down, what would happen if you tied jelly bread to the back of a cat?
-What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
-What did we do before the law of gravity was passed?
-What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
-What do you do when you see an endangered animal that only eats endangered plants?
-What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of a plane?
-When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?  Are they afraid someone will clean them?
-Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
-Why is there braille on drive-thru ATMs?
-Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
-Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
-Why is then man who invests all your money called a broker?
-Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  It's just stale bread to begin with.
-Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
-Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite things?
-Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?
-When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts?" and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
-Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the sky, you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you have to touch it?
-Why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?

E-mail me at:
[email protected]

Click here to go Back