Blonde Jokes Q) What do you do when a blonde throws a gernade at you? A) Pick it up, pull the pin and throw it back! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do blondes take a piece of bread into the toilet? To feed the toilet duck. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you drown a blonde ? Throw a mirror into the swimming pool. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a blonde at a pop machine. She started putting pennies in. Soon a little boy comes up to her and says, "What are you doing?" The blonde says back, "Shhh I'm winning!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you teach a blonde math? Subtract her clothes divide, her legs and square root her! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is a blonde's favorite surgery? A SLIPADICTOME! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young blonde polish woman walks in for a job interview, but the fellow doing the interviews tells her he doesn't have time today. He says, "Since this is an inconvience for you, I'll ask you to come back in 3 days for another interview, and in the meantime I will tell you what I am going to ask you so you can have good answers." The man tells her, "The three questions I will ask are: How many days of the week begin with the letter "T"? Secondly, how many seconds are there in a year? And lastly how many "D's "are there in RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER?" After telling her this, the man wanted to know if there were any questions. The woman replied "No." 3 days later the woman returns and is ready for her interview, which goes like this: Man: "How many days of the week begin with the letter "T"?" Woman "Two." Man: "Good, what are they?" Woman "Today and Tomorrow." Man: "Good answer, not quite what quite what I had in mind, but O.K." Man " How many seconds in a year?" Woman " Twelve." Man: "How did you come up with this answer?" Woman "Simple, Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, Mar 2nd..........." Man: " Alright how many "D's" are there in RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER?" Woman "2365" Man: "How did you ever arrive at that figure?" Woman "Simple (starts humming dee dee dee to the tune" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do blondes and computers have in common? You don't appreciate them until they go down on you! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde goes into a worldwide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. When the man tells her that it will cost her $300, she exclaims,"I don't have any money... but I'll do anything to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!" To that the man asks, "Anything?" And the blonde says, "Yes.... ANYTHING!!" With that the man says, "Follow me!" He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door." She does this and then he says, "Get on your knees."She does. He then says, "Take down my zipper." She does.Then he says, "Go ahead, take it out." With that, she takes it out and holds it with both hands. And then the man says somewhat impatiently, "Well, go ahead!!" She then brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it very closely to her lips, she says, "HELLO, MOM?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her, "Go do something to prove them wrong! Why don't you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some guy is making dumb blonde comments to her. She gets all indignant and claims, "I'm NOT a dumb blonde. In fact, I can name ALL the state capitals!" The guy doesn't believe her, so she dares him to test her. He says "Okay, what's the capital of Montana?" The blonde tosses her hair in triumph and says, "That's easy! It's M!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------