Warnings That Should Be On Alcohol

The Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on booze bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of pounding a pint or two, and here they are.

  1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a sh*t truck at 100 yards.

  2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an a*shole.

  3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

  4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

  5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.

  6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

  7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.

  8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)

  9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

  10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho.

Send me some comments at [email protected]
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1