I received the following letter from an admirable young chap recently, who apparently doesn't think too highly of the Three Libras, your's truly in particular. Let's take a look at that letter.
Wow I mean wow that's so cool you spend most of your free time making up these games you know what I'm guessing you must still live in your mothers basement you must get straight A's and study a lot and hope to get a good job in a magic store and all that crap... whats wrong with you I know you must have no friends and the ones you probably do have you probably pay to sit there and talk and pretend to know whats going on in this stupid little game of yours Hell you are probably an eight-teen year old virgin with no life but this Hell yes I am Better than you I don't dedicate my life to this shit you call a game you dumbass geek And it probably wont last forever this chickenshit called a game because people will move away dumbass and develop lives and better jobs and wont have time or money to drive or fly their way back for a dumb vampire game people will develop lives away from your geeky-ness People like you should be lynched or shot out into space or beat up and forgot about. Got you must be a geek or a nerd you probably sit in line or buy tickets in advance for that Lord of the Rings shit and Know everything about it God there's so much better things you can do with your life Christ I hate you God damn nerds whats sad is that you think this D&D rip-off is fun LOL hahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha Man I feel sorry for you Kathy and Space Monkey And Raven don't bring her down to your level It's bad enough that you got her involved in this game dont bring her down to your level Talk to ya later GEEK P.S. If touch Bryttny Inappropriately I will beat your face in with a bike chain then pour sugar in your crappy cars gas tank then start beating you agian with the chain
To be perfectly honest, I'm daunted. I'm simply put to shame by his ultra-creative threats, his masterful use of the English language and by his uncanny understanding of my life. After reading his e-mail, I cried for like four hours. He's right, I have no friends, I made up Space Monkey and Kathy, it's all a lie. In fact, its even worse than that. I take my little sister's stuffed animals and place them around a table, and give them dice, and I storytell for them. The women I've slept with were really made of rubber, but I guess I was just too high on anti-depressants to realize it at the time.
However, this is all just anti-nerd, anti-geek propaganda. What finally drags me out of my tears and into hysterical laughter is that everything he says, he obviously considers an insult, and I find myself feeling more complimented every time I read his words. I'm getting a swelled head here, and it's not sexual at all. I'd make the move down two floors to my parents' basement if it wasn't so cold down there. I wish I had the time to learn more about Tolkien's world, since what I know is a pretty bare ass minimum to really appreciate it. And if I'm really someone who others consider worthy of being lynched, shot into space, or beaten, then I must be doing something right. I mean, to illicit those kinds of emotions from people. It's really very exalting.
But despite the humor in his e-mail, I've decided that this man is indeed dangerous. Why? Because he is aware of my dastardly plan to bring Raven down to my level. And from my level, there is no escape. She will be brought down, and she shall never rise again! HAHA!
Thank you for your sympathies, (E-mail address removed-1/27/03) I have a fair idea of who you are (irrational hatred, threats and insults reeking of insecurity, incoherent rambling; doesn't make for a difficult guess), but I don't think there's any need to say it. I hold no ill-will toward you, nor will I blame you for harsh words spoken in rage after your last failed suicide attempt (in the future, remember, you need a GAS oven to kill yourself that way, an electrical oven doesn't work so well, unless you aim to cook yourself to death). And, please elaborate on your Post Script, it's just boggling my mind. Are you going to beat first and then pour sugar into my gas tank, or the other way around? I'm so fucking confused.
With nothing but love for you buddy,
Sage