Park Review
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Eureka, Misourri
Place: Six Flags St. Louis & Hurricane Harbor Every year I try to visit the park I grew up at and write a trip report that is too long, too in-depth and contains things only I care about. This year I definitely succeeded. My last visit to Six Flags St. Louis had left a so-so impression with me. The Boss was only a month old, and the Screamin� Eagle was running slow but smooth for the lack of care the park gives it. Because the Boss was new and down most of the time during that visit, I had encountered large, unhappy crowds and did not have a great day at the park. On this trip, my friend and I arrived at ten, got gouged for parking (I am lazy, but not lazy enough to pay $12 for �preferred parking� - capitalism at its best). He had been to Hurricane Harbor once before and I had never been so, with swimming suits in tow, we bought tickets and went through the nice gates to the two year-old water park. After changing and paying $5 for a locker that somehow fit both our backpacks, we headed over to the set of speed slides. It is a set of three about 60 feet high that features two enclosed slides that twist their way down and one open, �straight-down� speed slide. We hopped on the later first and enjoyed a ride whose bark was much worse than its bite. It was then over to the wave pool, where the waves ended about 30 seconds after we entered. Not wanting get between middle-schoolers in the 5-ft. �deep end,� we headed to a complex of four tube slides. Two of these feature completely enclosed rides while the other two run half enclosed, half open. After waiting for a tube, we hiked up and enjoyed a ride that packed a little more punch than I would have thought. Back over to the speed slides for one of the enclosed ones, which was much better than the straight drop, as it had several moments of airtime and wonderfully severe side-to-side rocking motion. One more walk to see if the Big Kahuna (one of the 6-person tube rides) had a big wait. It did, about 5/6 of the way down the tower. We opted out and hit the half-enclosed/half open slide for an enjoyable trip. The lines were quickly growing, and after I took a few pictures, we changed for the park. Overall, my impression of Hurricane Harbor is that it would work for families and teens visiting on their own. The theming is some of the best Six Flags has done in the park, and after two years things still looked very nice. It is the best �non-traditional� (as in, not following the original six countries theme) that I have seen here. I think if I had little ones, we would have spent a lot of time in the wave pool, the kids area and lazy river too, and then the water park would have been quite enjoyable. As it was, I visited to be dropped and spun, and there were really only two slide complexes where I could do that. If Hurricane Harbor has a drawback, it is that the lifeguards operate with some of the worst TPM I have ever seen. Granted, I have been to few waterparks (Adventure Island being one of the largest around five years ago). My trip to AI was enjoyable because even though there were huge crowds, they had two assets. The first was stop/go colored discs at the entrances to some slides, which made throughput quite good. The way it worked was that after the rider tripped a sensor or a certain amount of time had elapsed (I do not know which), the disc changed colors and off you went. This would have come in very handy at the tube slides, as each lifeguard worked two slides (with two riders each) and said their liability spiel before each person went. If this system were implemented, the guards would only have to worry about getting their lawyer-speak out and not have to �run� each slide - just oversee it. Speed slides have never and will never be capacity machines. But, at Hurricane Harbor, riders sit down immediately after the person in front of them leaves. Instead of doing the safety spiel then, the lifeguard waits until the person who just went down has gotten out of the water and the lifeguard below has indicated to the lifeguard above that this person has done so. It is only then that the instructions commence and riders can finally leave. I honestly think that if instructions were given in a more timely manner capacity on this ride could easily be doubled. Upon trying to leave the way we came in (which would put us at the front gate), we were told that even though the path is divided, we needed to walk back through Hurricane Harbor to an exit that led us on a barbed wire-filled path not unlike the work camps of Siberia. After the trudge, we had to walk over the railroad tracks, past Batman and through Gotham to the front gate. Again, not bad for someone my age, but I feel sorry for parents doing that with kids, especially at the end of the day. We were hungry, so we headed to McDonalds and I paid around five-something for a value meal, not too bad price-wise. They have also increased efficiency at this McDonalds and the service, despite it being noon, was quite good. After wolfing through lunch, I knew it was time to visit the coaster I have heard called the chiropractor, headbanger�s ball, POS and many other names. It was time for the Ninja. Upon entering, it was a one-train wait for everywhere but the front and back. Not having ridden in the front for a few years, I opted there and, although the drop does zilch, we did get some nice g�s in the first two inversions and the headchopper/vibration was nowhere near as bad. The back had some nice negative forces and it was down, around and back to the station. Seeing no line, we walked around again for a ride in the back. Same old Ninja. Actually, this ride got me thinking that Ninja has aged better than any coaster at the park. Right now, you are probably scratching your head in wonder, but think about it. Quite honestly, the back seat gives the exact same ride it did when I first rode it around 1992. It has never been a smooth ride, but I honestly do not think the trains track any worse than when I first lost to the Ninja. Walking along we saw the facades put up a few years ago in front of the Hannibarrels (and we had seen said barrels from the Ninja, still there). For those of you who never experienced the Hannibarrells, they were like the standard teacup ride except the entire platform was about 15 feet above ground and tilted several degrees for an interesting twist on this family favorite. I am no expert, but we both agreed that the cost of the facades had to have been more than what it would cost to fix or dismantle the hannibarrels. In a park that is starving for flat rides, just boarding up an attraction still makes me scratch my head. We walked back through �Chouteau�s Market� to �Gateway to the West.� Maybe it is just me, but I have a hard time believing that Chouteau ever bartered with invisible dog leashes, giant lollipops, or any of the rest of the miscellaneous crap found in the store. He must have also been a large fan of up-charge attractions, as the climbing wall stood across from his store. Oh my dear God. I thought the worthless starship simulators were the worst upcharge attraction ever - enter a new contestant. Yes, to appeal to that C.W. McCall (the singer of Convoy, for all you mid-seventies C.B. craze aficionados out there) fan in all of us, Six Flags has installed a mechanical bull, complete with an operator in full cowboy-wannabe outfit. Shaking our heads in disbelief, we headed to the mine train. The ride has no-choice seating, so it was only a one-train wait. I noticed that the old map of the course has been removed for a window, and the mine train has a control panel similar to Ninja & Boss (I am guessing all were installed in 2000, but not positive). We got the first seat in the last train and enjoyed the three-lift-hill course. The park has added some nice things, as there are some new signs and items I did not recognize (although I did not ride the coaster in 2000 because the entire queue was full during my visit). But, that is not all they have added. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there was a freakin� trim brake on the 1.5-foot bunny hop right before the third lift hill. I did not know whether to laugh or cry. Now let me get this straight. Theme park mentality says it makes sense to install a bucking bronco attraction (where I saw several people get thrown off), but a 30-year-old mine train needs a trim brake to reduce the only two airtime spots to the tunnel at the end and the drop out of the station?! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Resuming composure. Anyway, there were two lights at the top of the drop in the tunnel I did not remember. It was not as good as the horn and light that were at the bottom of the drop, but a nice improvement from my last ride. Overall, I had been very pleased. Although the parking lot was full, the lines were not bad and it was time to visit my first major coaster, the Screamin� Eagle. Again, no lines. It was a one-train wait for the extremes and walk-ons everywhere else. I stopped and took a few pictures. Wait a second. What was that on the front of the train? It was the eagle! The old Screamin� Eagle trains had a wooden eagle head on the front and sides of each car, and the park had put one of the eagles on the front of each two-bencher. Now, I am 99.9% sure that these were not there on my last visit, and I do not remember anyone mentioning them this year. I was ecstatic. The �Six Flags St. Louis� moniker was still poking through on the front, but the Eagle was there just like it was on the three-benchers. It looks like the railings have gotten some blue paint; I saw some newer white paint in places and some wood had been replaced on the first drop�s structure. We hopped in the front, and although the screeeech was not there, on the swoop turn I could tell the coaster�s condition had deteriorated since last season. For as horribly as this coaster runs, it still carried amazing speed beautifully, and it simply flew up and over the third hill and gave a great pop of airtime into the last turn. The ride had been rough, but not unbearable. I headed to the backseat, my favorite for the Eagle. Once we left the lift, I knew we were in trouble, as the coaster shook around the turn and it only got worse from there. For as much harm as Six Flags has done to this coaster, it still wants to perform, but is the Eagle�s wings have been clipped. The track work is now so shoddy that seemingly half of the train�s energy is exerted into up and down motion while the rest is used to go forward. At this point, the ride needs a complete retracking and Six Flags needs to teach its maintenance crew (or vice-a-versa, I do not know if it is corporate, management, or maintenance) that since the park uses graphite, it needs to be applied regularly, and even more so after a strong St. Louis summer thunderstorm. What once was one of my favorite coasters (even with the unnecessary reprofiling), the Eagle has sadly dropped into my �once per-visit� selection of coasters that includes rides like the Mean Streak, Hercules and (formerly) Outer Limits. For some reason, I can see several suits gathered around a table saying, �Wow, ridership is really down on the Eagle this year. I guess people just do not want to ride an old coaster anymore when they have the Boss.� Wrong. The Eagle would get so many riders if it were treated with the care a wooden coaster needs. If this is long-term St. Louis maintenance, then I fear for the Boss in five years. I am surprised the park has not added trim brakes; between the curve banking, the removal of the mini double-up and the shoddy maintenance, that is the only thing left to help make this ride even worse. I miss the old Eagle and honestly, after my rides on Tuesday, this coaster will remain at the bottom of my list. All I can say is that I hope John Allen has not seen what they have done to his favorite coaster. Feeling thoroughly depressed, we walked over to the Boss and waited about 40 minutes. The queue was almost full, yet they never added the third train, which was very frustrating. In the spring of last year, the Boss had not been fun. The area after the first drop was rough, the restraints hurt and the ride just did not carry its speed that well. Let me say that I could not believe my senses. Just like good Screamin� Eagle rides have gone the way of the Dodo, the Boss rides better than any of my rides last year. I heard they did some work, but with the smoothing out of area and the comfy lapbars, this is an awesome ride. The part that stinks is the queue line. There needs to be a way to open it up later in the day when things have cleared out. Add in the fact that the public goes up and over the train tracks and the go-karts and you have liability city. Our first ride was in the front, and we were absolutely blown away. The first drop has so much power, and now that I am not gripping my side in pain, the concept of the drop-speed zone-twisting finish Dennis McNultey envisioned works beautifully. Last year I was bored, now I was floored. The train snaked wonderfully through the structure as screams emitted from riders thinking they would get decapitated. The first turn has some nice laterals, and the drop out of it is wonderful. The train loses a lot of energy heading into the mid-courses. They were on, but the drop was great (especially our later rides in the back), and that led up into the fourth turn. Instead of being a traditional turn like the second, this one is quite Cobb-esque, having a sizeable dip between the up and down portions. After that, it is a rush down through the structure. Dennis played some wonderful games with the hills leading to the double helix; only one of them has a traditional bunny hop feel to it. The rest give unique sensations of laterals and airtime mixed differently depending where you sit. Instead of straight bunny hops, each has a unique angle like Herb Schmeck would have done, so you cannot anticipate what each hill will do. I have not found a double helix I love, but I think this one, with its tree-filled center, maintains the speed much better than the Legend�s. There is some hesitation at the beginning of the second time around, but a much shorter pause than Legend. After that, a double-up that should have given some more air and into the brakes. Both of my hands were up the entire time, the Gerstlauers did not bruise me and tracked beautifully. It still shocks me that this coaster sits next to the Screamin� Eagle. They ride so differently, and it is not just because the coaster is new. It is because whoever takes care of this coaster has the knowledge and is given the time and money to do so. I saw Richard Rodriguez doing his laps, but did not sit by him, since I wanted front or back all day. Although I did not meet him, I must say the way he carried himself was quite professional and polite. I cannot imagine the amount of crap he puts up with from people, but he talked to everyone who called out to him and even let some kids ride with him. He seemed like a class act and a good face for enthusiasts to put out in front of the general public and media alike. Walking through Britain, we passed the most deplorable stand in the park - Friar Tucks. I cannot remember seeing these at any other park, but man, are the turkey legs big here. If you have not seen these things, they are basically huge legs (8� to a foot - giant drumsticks) of turkey that people walk around and eat. I almost lost it after hearing someone sucking the skin and fat off of the leg while in front of us. Of course, her husband was double-fisting, one in each hand and a napkin in his belt. I think the things are disgusting, but if demand is that high, serve them by all means. I just think there should be some tables nearby so people are not encouraged to gorge on the go. Tom�s Twister (one of the weakest rotors on the planet) was closed - no surprise there. I think in all the years I have attended this park, it has been in operation maybe three or four times. After getting our season passes processed, we got in line for Mr. Freeze, Premier (or should I say Phoenix) Ride�s interpretation of that master thespian Arnold. Walking into Snowy�s Ice Cream Tours, we saw the line extended along the side of the building, but stopped before the queue hit the switchbacks. They were, sadly, only running one train, so it took about 45 minutes to get in. Same old Freeze. The first half gives me no problems, and that return is just not fun. If this ride got lapbars, it would be one of the most intense out there. The launch, tophat, wingover and spike stall would all be very fun elements. Between the pain and molasses crew, we only rode once. The going was very slow here (only beaten by the Chiller crew last summer), and would often let the people sit in the harnesses for a minute or two before activating the ride (and I know they can launch before that because there were a few times where the last lapbar was checked and the transfer table moved over seconds later). Again, if you are riding it is not a huge deal. But, considering this coaster is still popular, only loading one train very slowly decreased their capacity by a lot.
Upon leaving, we saw that Castaway Kids had a yellow drop cloth made out of
plastic in front of the length of the entrance and that the DC Comics concept
is still a bad theming idea (more on that later). We walked by Colossus and
saw the line was still quite long. We saw the front of one old Screamin�
Eagle three bench train sitting in front of a store, and I snapped some pictires (it
used to be up front in a shop window). We walked over to Gotham and got on
Batman. Again, this is another horrible queuing idea, yet another area where
the option to take a shorter walk does not exist. I think this is necessary
because many people getting off the ride did not want to go around and cut
through the handicapped area or areas that were off limits to the GP. The
line today was the shortest I have
Over to Joker, Inc - also known as Horrible Theming Worldwide. This used to be
one of the more decorative pirate ships around and had very nice end pieces on
it. Because the original was made so well, they add to remove large pieces,
which were replaced by what looked to be plywood with a coat of whatever color
of green was on sale at Wal-Mart that week. Add in a large Joker mouth and a
line that was four or five rides, and it just did not make sense. Hopped on Ninja
(which ran two trains all day despite the light crowd), and I noticed that they
have replaced some of the old brakes (I am not sure if they were Arrow brakes,
since they did the trains or Vekoma�s since they did everything else). For all
of the crap I give this coaster, I hope it is not removed for something else,
since nothing could fit in its footprint. We walked past the new Wok & Roll and up to
the Riverview Racer (Chance Yo Yo). Again, the park took out a POP attraction
(Mo Mo the Monster - I still love the name) because the Racer had to be moved
for the new skycoaster. God forbid an attraction I don�t have to pay
extra for be relocated instead of junked. This park could have put this
Octopus in so many places instead of just pitching it, or at least gotten
something to replace the lost line. The swings are a fun ride in a location
that fits them better than Britain used to. Past Tidal Wave & Water Street
Cab Company to the Rush Street Flyer. One of the best-themed Chance Falling
Stars I have come across, and in one of the best locations, too. The hilltop
setting makes it ideal for this ride, and the trees on either side have grown
in perfectly. Now if the park could only paint the wonderful billboards they
installed with the ride (i.e. invest some now or a lot more later) since they
are faded and torn.
Back up to the Eagle in the front seat. Still depressed. I noticed
more new stuff, i.e. the rules signs they put at the coaster�s entrance and in
the station. Both of the used the Eagles heads from the old trains, too. The worst
part is that the rules sign is directly in front of the wonderful old sign
(the eagle with its wings spread). They could have put the new sign to the
left of the queue or put the old sign above the queue where the pseudo-roof
starts. Either way, it would have been better to let people see both signs
instead of one. One more item I did not remember seeing before was a beeping
alarm on the control panel. In the past, I remember operators not letting the
train go until the other train entered the brake shed. Now, once the train on
the course passes a certain point, the control panel beeps and the station
train is released onto the lift.
We got a ride on PTC carousel number 35 and I checked out the horses. Some
needed paint touches, as they had large spots the size of my hand missing. I
enjoyed the large PTC scroll on one of the chariots. My jumper did not jump,
which was depressing, as was the music played. The park either does not have
an organ or it does not work. IMHO, there is no point in playing carousel
music if your speaker system does not sound good. Theirs sounded like it had
been salvaged from a lime-green Gremlin that had crashed out in front of the
park. All-in-all, not what I had hoped to see. Sometimes when visiting a park,
ignorance is bliss. Next we went back over to the Boss for a backseat ride. Man, this thing
hauls. The Highland Fling still packs a punch (I like Schwarkopf�s version
better than Huse�). Good ride, just needs a weed wacker.
The line for Colossus looked good, so we hopped in line. I got some great
shots of the park and beautiful views of the area. The park really is in a
beautiful location, and they did let their two wooden coasters take advantage
of that. We went over to Spain (sorry DC Comics). Who thought this was a
good idea? The park already had a comic-themed area, yet more merchandise
must be sold. I could even hear Comic Book Guy saying, �Worst theming ever.�
I miss the old cantina-like Mexican place, now it is Villain�s Caf�. The
only crime was the concept. El Toro Bravo (Eli Bridge Scrambler) now shares a
name with a movie featuring Shaq (intentional or not, it still happened). I
have a hard time believing the patrons are now flocking to the ride because it
is called Shazam. What�s next, the Shaq Diesel Freefall, the Fu Schnickens
Top Spin? Add in the fact that a perfectly good flat ride could have been put
in the area that was used, instead, to make a large billboard on the ground for
DC Comics. Sigh, sorry for the ranting.
The log flume is still fun and uses the topography well. I believe it�s the only
one I have seen that has two different layouts, and as a result, it has very good
capacity. It is called the Ice Mountain splash now, and there is now way it
has a sixty foot drop as advertised (kind of like the Eagle ran at 70 mph for
ten years but slowed down to near its original speed once Boss opened), maybe
35 if I am being generous. Still a great way to cool off, and with shorter
lines than Thunder River had all day (TR�s wait was easily 45 to an hour all
day). It was around seven, so we got dinner at Calico Sals; I paid about $8.50 for three good, hot chicken strips, many cold, greasy French fries and a
Coke.
The sun stubbornly remained in the sky, and I realized that I would not get the
pitch black rides in on Boss. We got dusk rides, one in the second-to-front and
one in the back. Both were outstanding, although there was a touch of
shuffling in the G-trains. We ended the night on the back seat of Batman,
where things were intense fun. All in all it was a great day with sum dark
spots. To sum up:
If you made it this far I am impressed!
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