Park Review
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Lake Buena Vista, Florida
The Place: Disney-MGM Studios After leaving Sea World, we drove through the pouring rain to Disney-MGM Studios on the frighteningly gigantic Disney complex. We paid six dollars to park (not bad in today�s world of theme parks - and that pass was good at any Disney park for the rest of the day). We parked, waited a while for the tram and decided to walk to the front gate because the tram took its sweet time getting to the lot. I paid fifty dollars to enter, then we walked around some and picked up Fast Passes for the Tower of Terror. We first went to the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater Restaurant, but it was a two-hour wait. Two other places had burger and fry type meals, but they did not look appetizing for the price. We settled on the 50�s Prime Time Caf�, a true �mom and pop� place.
This restaurant is like walking into the stereotypical
fifties home and eating at your dead
great-grandmother�s house. It is an interesting
concept, but seemed to have an identity crisis because
part of the structure was built as a house, while
other parts had the raised ceiling and drop lighting
of a television studio. After a five-minute wait, we
were seated and instructed on the rules of the house,
such as �No elbows on the table� and �No spitballs.�
By the end of our visit, all of these rules and more
were broken. I have often read of the
over-romanticization of the 1950�s, and this experience
only helped to confirm that sentiment. Our waitress,
Aunt Linda, must have felt she needed to come on
strong to make sure her rules were followed - it went
downhill from there. The set up is that all of the
servers are aunts, uncles, cousins and that mom is in
the back cooking. The menu was bizarre because it was
a lot of the same food I ate growing up - except here
it costs more and is not as good as my mother�s. I
got a steak on an open-faced sandwich that was decent
and Eric got chicken. It took some time to get our
food, so we passed the time by �engaging� the staff: Now it was time to visit the attraction many have called the best Disney ride in the last ten years - The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. Fast Passes in hand, we walked in and I tried to take in as much of the theming as I could. Looking around, I enjoyed the beautiful gardens, the view of the hotel from the grounds, the empty water pool and the immense detail put into all of the building�s facets. After being let into the den, I looked at the amazing array of materials the Imagineers had decorated the room with. Everything, from old books and globes to antique trinkets, carefully lined the shelves. The den quieted as the unique preshow came on. The lights dimmed, lightning flickered and an episode of the Twilight Zone, with a host whose voice and likeness was close to the originals, told us the story of several unlucky souls who were caught in the hotel�s elevator on the night of the storm. After the preshow, a door opened and we walked to the basement. Again, the detailing was amazing as the old boilers looked like they were there for years and a small desk, covered with retro lamps and office supplies, was thick with cobwebs. Our usher invited us in the front seat (thanks to Eric for requesting it), the doors closed and we left. [Author�s Note: There are some spoilers here, and my recollections may not be 100% correct because we only rode the T.O.T. twice and there is a lot to take in.] The first time the door opened there was a wonderful view down a hallway with ghosts inviting us to join them and a Hitchcock-esque window that bent out of proportion in different directions. The door closed again, and we were whisked up into another hallway. With stars glittering throughout the hall and televisions showing the people disappearing, we left the elevator shaft (on my second trip Eric pointed out the tire tracks on the floor, which took a little away from the complete surprise). The room went completely dark and I heard the car locking into place in the �shaft.� After sitting a few seconds in darkness the elevator dropped. The drop itself was better than I anticipated, in part because it was in the dark and because the car is probably quite heavy. The car then bounced up & down, and I got some great airtime with the unique sequence of drops. On some of the bounces, the car was even with the large doorways and it gave a great view of the park. I left surprised and impressed with this Disney attraction. It is amazing in the thrill department, it is intriguing in the theme and detail departments and a fun ride for older kids and adults. It was so good we rode it a second time and I bought the obligatory Tower of Terror magnet for my refrigerator. A funny thing happened on the way out. The park sells bellhop bells for $7.95 in the gift shop (I am guessing they buy them in bulk for 50 cents or $1 apiece). As I completed my purchase, I heard countless little kids pounding them and asked, �Don�t you get sick of all the bells?� My cashier replied, �Bells, what bells?� And another said, �I don�t hear any bells.� At least there is some semblance of the old Disney immersion still in effect. Touch�. We grabbed Fast Passes for Rock �n� Roller Coaster and went to enjoy the rest of the park. The first ride was Star Tours. The queue was nice - arguably the best part of the ride. The simulator was fun; basically it involved a trip to Endor via the Star Tours company. You get attacked by the Empire (big shocker there) and fly against the Death Star, etc. I thought the film was a bit slow-paced and that the ride would have been more enjoyable had some scenes, like the dive through the Death Star trenches, been shown at greater speeds. But perhaps that is just my nit-pickiness talking. Nearby was an attraction I was looking forward to, Jim Henson�s Muppet Vision 3-D. I felt it was an attraction with a great concept and fun execution - I guess the fact that I have always enjoyed the Muppets did not hurt. The preshow was hilarious and featured three televisions that were in-sync with one another. After entering a large theatre, who were there but the two best Muppet characters ever - Statler and Waldorf. Their bad puns from their balcony seats led the way into a 3-D show that was full of bad jokes, cheap 3-D tricks (Fozzie - �Did somebody say cheap 3-D tricks?!�), and a little something from most of the major Muppet characters (the groovy, LSD-inspired Dr. Teeth was my only favorite I did not see). There was even some live theatre appearances. The show revolves around a new 3-D process created by Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and his assistant Beaker (Meep Meep). Like Spiderman, there were several tricks like �rain� falling on guests and bubbles flying through the audience after they appeared on the screen. This is a show I could watch several times on a park visit. I must disagree with Statler & Waldorf when they said, �Boo.� �Horrible.� �Worst show I�ve ever seen.� We walked to the Studios Backlot Tour and got on one of the last rides of the day. The preshow/queue featured props and commentary from countless bad action movies. After a ten-minute wait we walked to the first phase of the tour. This section featured the participation of four audience members who were filmed doing various things (manning an engine room while it flooded and protecting a PT boat from attacks by warplanes). Special effects like a large wall of water, flames, and tracer shots were used to demonstrate different action sequence standards. After the scenes were �shot� the participants were edited into a pre-made film sequence, which was quite funny (reminiscent of the Murder, She Wrote show at Universal Studios Florida several years back). The second part of the tour was a standard tram ride. We saw costume departments and house facades from television �milestones� like Golden Girls and Empty Nest. From there, we rode by many discarded vehicles from movies like Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade, Flight of the Navigator and a personal animated favorite of mine, Who Framed Roger Rabbit? After that, we saw Catastrophe Canyon, which was a large outdoor special effects extravaganza. It was probably impressive for kids, but reminded me of Universal�s Earthquake set outdoors (it even had the sliding tanker truck). The tram headed behind the canyon to show how it was constructed and then it was back to the loading area. It was interesting to see once, but you will not catch me on this ride again unless something changes drastically. Our last rides of the night were on Rock �n� Roller Coaster (Vekoma, 1999, LSM looper). We went through the line and I immediately noticed one drawback of the Fast Pass. Everyone skips all of the good line theming when they enter the building. What is even worse is that all of the people in the normal line have to wait in a bland corral before being ushered past all of the nice indoor queues. I hope that in the future, Disney plans for Fast Pass in their lines and that they go back to major attractions like this and do some rebuilding of the queue. I know if I were standing outside for hours in the Florida sun and just walked through all of the air-conditioned line inside I would be a little ticked off - especially if I had kids in tow. Rock �n� Roller Coaster, like most of the park�s rides, is just there - no area theming, no overall section concept, just plopped down because there was room. The building has the now-famous sign with the guitar neck turning into track (for the longest time I thought it was actual coaster track). From the line you can see the building the coaster track is housed in (similar to Flight of Fear), but little else. After entering through the doors of G Force Records, we waited a little bit and then were ushered into the recording studio where Aerosmith was laying down tracks. While not amazing, I do think the cheesy preshow is the best that can be accomplished using today�s projection technology. Aerosmith tries their best to act, and we are shortly informed that our �super stretch� limo is on its way. We left the studio for a run-down area of town, where our car will pick us up. If Disney does one thing well it is capacity - they can run four trains at once (I am guessing they own a total of six or eight) so the line moves fast (unless you are waiting in the large line outside, that is). I also like the way the seats were chosen. If riders wants a certain seat they can ask (and usually get it), but for the most part the seats are assigned. It works well for everyone because not many people want to ride in a certain seat, but it still gives the option for people like myself to request one. After winding inside the queue, we waited one train before boarding the front seat. I sat on the left side, the restraints were checked and we rolled onto the launch area. This launch is different from the Premier versions because, as Eric pointed out to me, it uses a cart to push the train. Basically, the launch is like a Schwarzkopf shuttle loop, except it is powered by magnets instead of a weight or flywheel (and yes, back in the late 1970�s Anton talked about powering his launches with magnetic energy - the man was a genius). We were counted down, the highway sign read that the freeway was clear and we were launched into blackness. The layout was good, but not as fun as Flight of Fear (I believe RnRC is similar to the Six Flags Holland Superman coaster, check out the pictures at: http://www.rcdb.com/installationgallery769.htm). The one thing I thought added to the ride was the fact that it was completely black inside the building where the main structure was housed. There was no light leaking through the tunnels like on Flight of Fear and, although there were lots of road signs, I believe they only lit up brightly as the train sped by. After the train hit the brakes, there was some nice theming as the coaster pulled into a �VIP� area with lights, announcements and a red carpet where riders disembarked. We took one more ride in the backseat, and this time the ride seemed slower and there was some noticeable shuffling among the cars. Overall, I thought Rock �n� Roller Coaster was an okay ride. It was good, but it is a little disappointing that all you need to be an Imagineer these days (at least for the US parks) is the knowledge of how to make an alley and fake music studio. I expected a little more from Disney, and must say I was let down by their final product. (PS: I have heard Disney re-worked the launch so it only accelerates to 53 M.P.H. now. Can anyone confirm this, or is it merely another �Magnum is Sinking� rumor?) Overall, I came away feeling that the park was lacking a lot, both in the ride/show and theme departments. I will be upfront and say that I expect different things from different parks. I expect more from Disney than say, Old Town, because the prices are different and they obviously have different amounts of supporting capital and creative forces behind them. From a ride perspective, I am not given much choice but to feel the park was opened strictly as a way to keep people on property for one more day and spend some Disney dollars. Yes, I know that amusement and theme parks are built these days to turn a profit. But some, like Disney�s park in Japan, are built to engage, amaze and properly handle all of the guests. I did not think Disney-MGM Studios did any of these three things well. On the theming side, I thought some things were lacking, too. Granted, I think the worst concept ever for theming is Six Flags Warner Brothers� Backlot, but this goes deeper than that. There is no overriding theme except the concept of a studio, and frankly, I do not believe this is a good concept around which to build a park. Yes, it does have some neat features like Mann�s Chinese Theatre, but for someone who has been to Los Angeles, it felt fake. I wish they had designed an overly romanticized feel for the Hollywood Land of old. I wanted to see the gumshoe world of Philip Marlowe and �L.A. Confidential� combined with the comic zaniness that came from the cartoons Walt Disney & Mel Blanc and the over the top lifestyle of Sunset Boulevard. A swirl of the cartoonish whimsy, private detective boldness and Hollywood flash would have been a fun, unique place to visit. I do not want to visit a Hollywood that has been simply sanitized and badly reproduced by Imagineers. Instead of trying to recreate the past, give us a creative and wacky world based on American perceptions of Hollywood�s golden era - that would be a park. Right now, it feels as if part of the park is trying to be a clean version of Hollywood while other areas have no direction at all except for the generic �movie set.� This part could have been a lot more and I must say I left disappointed with Disney. Hollywood, without the seamy underbelly, is not Hollywood; it is just a set of streets without a soul.
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