Your mother is a Tracer---/Chasing Amy

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm---/Steven Wright

What does it matter, fat cat keeps getting fatter?---/Squirrel Nut Zippers

Books are like nipple clamps for the kinky circus dwarf of your mind.---/something I just came up with

I do not suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it---/Kelli (friend of mine)

If animals didn't want to be eaten, why are they made of meat?---/bumper sticker

You think she is an open book, but you don;t know which page to turn to..do you??---/Cake

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you are an asshole---/bumper sticker

What are you going to do with that lawn mowning blade?
Going to whack you in the head with it...mmm hmm---/Slingblade

Oh damnit, I just step in a big smelling pile of life---/myself

I am not fucking crazy, I just love you---/Reel Big Fish

A smiling person doesn't know what is going on---/unknown

Life is like a whore, and her pimp is collecting.----/myself

She is the woman of my dreams...but it seems...that my dreams never come true----/Beck

Don't need a weather man to know whcih way the wind blows----/Bob Dylan

OH MY GOD!, THEY KILLED KENNY, YOU BASTARDS-----/South Park

Life is like a whore, and what the hell are crabs?----/myself

(blink blink)----/Pretzel

Give the finger to the rocking roll singer as he dances upon your pay check----/Beck

I smell something funny, just not ha ha funny----/Simpsons

Put down your dagger, and put out your wit----/Shakespeare

NO KITTY, my pot pie!----/South Park

Don't follow those that carry around a fire hose----/Bob Dyaln

I will survive----/Diana Ross+Cake

(blank)----/a memorable forture cookie

If the Anti-Christ is not your mother anymore who is?----/spoken by an old ex, who I called the "anti-christ"....guess you have to be there

Robb is not in right now, but if you leave your name and number he will get back to you as soon as possible----/myself

Nothing is beautiful from every point of view---/Horace

My wife's (or ex) is a hobby horse---/Shakespeare

In Heaven there is no beer that is why I drink it here, and when I am gone from here, my friends will be drinking all the beer---/The Bluebeats

Life is a gesture, and mine is the finger---/myself

today has been a fucked up day, today has been a fucked up day, looks like tomorrow is going to be the same ole day---/Beck

Damnit Ska, you never quote me---/Orgo

You think she is an open book, but you don't know which page to turn to---/Cake

Life is a bitch, and her lawyers just called me---/myself

Very funny Scotty, now beam up my clothes---/a bumper sticker

Mean people Suck---/another bumper sticker

Nice people Swallow---/yet another bumper sticker

Odd people gargle---/my bumper sticker should read