My Life Story
Not entirely true, but does that really matter?
I was born a coal miners daughter (I stole that from somewhere =P) in the mountains
of Napa, California. My Father and Mother, Jorge Luis Emanuel Noriega and Grace
Jones were poor potato farmers who had immigrated from Idaho to the "great state" of
California just 10 years before my birth, and knew nothing of the language and even less
of the culture. Which could be why I am the way I am.
It wasn't until my seventh birthday before I taught them how to fully understand that Colonol Sanders was
in fact NOT a real colonol, and didn't really live at KFC and cook all the food himself. They were slow learners
but they usually got in line after a few jolts of the cattle-prod.
At the age of eight, my family and I..along with my newly born brother Bob (he was a test-tube baby that we
offered to take care of), moved to Bogota,Colombia..where Dad had been transferred. To this day I often wonder who
would transfer a potato farmer to South America. *shrug*
While there, I had the opportunity to learn an entirely different language, German. To my suprise, Dad actually
made quite a bit of money in the potato farming buisness. After only a week of living in the Tent city, we moved into a
huge house, with working indoor plumbing! I can quite honestly count this time as one of the happiest of my life. Looking
back at it, I think Mom's special brownies may have had something to do with it.
We weren't forced out of the country until I was ten, by that time Father had already given us all new names and haircolors for Christmas. Well..
all except for Bob..Dad thought his name was already unique enough to not need a change.
We moved back to California, except this time, we lived in a bigger house..and Dad didn't go back to farming. But
we had lots of money..until of course when the FBI guys came and took my parents away..along with all our nice stuff. *sigh* I miss my stuff..
Of course, I've now implanted myself within an entirely new family. They never seemed to notice when I took over
the position as their daughter, seeing as how the former occupant lost it in an impromptu game of tic-tac-toe. I've even
taken their last name as my own..noticing that Jones was a helluva lot more common than Smith.
To this day I still wonder whatever happend to the stuff that I lost when the government came and took my parents..
sometimes at night I can even see it..*sigh*
And the rest, is history..
Note: I don't think any of the above stuff is true..except for the whole potato farming thing..and the new family thing..and the FBI thing..
but other than that.... =P
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