From: Matthew Overmyer Newsgroups: alt.tasteless.jokes > > ACTUAL BUMPER STICKERS: > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > I love cats ... they taste just like chicken > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Cover me. I'm changing lanes. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > As long as there are tests, there will be prayer > in public schools > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Happiness is a belt-fed weapon > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let > her sleep > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... ... > Not screaming and yelling like the passengers > in his car ... > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > MONTANA -- At least our cows are sane! > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain > to be a vegetarian. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Your kid may be an honor student but you're still > an IDIOT! > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to > get you. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case > heaven is like the IRS. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with > your lips. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Friends don't let Friends drive Naked. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Wink, I'll do the rest! > --------------------------------------------------------------- > I took an IQ test and the results were negative. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > When there's a will, I want to be in it! > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are > they made of meat? > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all > its students! > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy > comes from! > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using > Your Turn Signal ! > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they > appear. > --------------------------------------------------------------- > We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things > get worse. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Always remember you're unique, just like > everyone else. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, > somewhere may be happy. > ----------------------------------------------------------------- > i souport publik edekasion > ----------------------------------------------------------------- > The sex was so good that even the neighbors > had a cigarette. > ----------------------------------------------------------------- > We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will > Be Assimilated. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing > home. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those > who can't. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till > you can find a rock. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. > --------------------------------------------------------------- > I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working > with subatomic particles. > -------------------------------------------------------------- > I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. > --------------------------------------------------------- > Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off. > _________________________________________ > > > > >