Rumex Humour
What do you call a dock on a hillside?
A rume with a view
Knock knock
Who's there?
A dock
A dock who?
A dock'n'chips with salt'n'vinegar please
What do you call someone who sells docks?
A rumermonger
What do you call a rocky outcrop in Devon with Rumex patientia growing on it?
A dock tor with patience
What do you call an actor playing the role of a herb growing by a stream?
Sorrel Brooke
What is Bugs Bunny's favorite rume?
What's Up Dock
(Richard Edwards)
What do you call an actress playing the role of Rumex scutatus growing by a stream?
Brooke Shields
(Richard Edwards)
What do you call a car full of docks?
A brume brume
(Richard Edwards)
What sort of trousers should you wear in a rumectorum?
Dockers Pants
What do you call a rume and its seedling on Haiti?
Papa Dock and Baby Dock
What do you call a garden makeover TV programme where they dig up all the docks and replace them with traditional garden flowers?
Changing Rumes
One hot, summer's day three docks of various sizes decide to go for a hike.
At lunchtime they find the perfect pub, but knowing how landlords don't like serving docks, they decide that just one will go in and bring the drinks outside.
The medium sized dock volunteers, because it is his turn to get a round in.
He goes in the pub and waits to be served, but as soon as the landlord sees him he says "Sorry, we don't serve docks" and throws him out.
Next the big dock has a try, but as soon as the landlord spots him he points out a notice "We don't serve docks" and throws him out. Finally the small, scrawny dock has an idea - before going into the pub he ties his stem into a bow.
This bemuses the landlord, who says "You're not a dock are you, because we don't serve docks". "No, I'm a knotweed".
What do you call two docks living together?
Rume mates
What is the technical term for an insect that has just dined on dock?
Ruminant
What type of TV programme tells you how to clean a rume?
A docku-soap
(Tony Rose)
What do you get if you sow seed from your scrawniest rume?
An ugly dockling
(Julian Hayward)
What do you call a physician's garden?
A dockyard
What song should you listen to when picnicking in a horse paddock with Rumex
growing in it?
Sitting on the Dock of the Bay!
(If the growth was really lush, I guess you'd be sitting on a dock chair.)
(John Spiers)
Please submit relevant jokes by e-mail, stating whether you want them
to be credited to you.
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