Ramblings.....1999
~putting the newest ones first, I hope~
a tree in my front yard,
i thought not well taken care of..
it's branches twisting and turning round each other..
until
the other day, when again i glanced..
and in that tree
i saw a lover's embrace..
with your arms
encircling me...
today that tree is beautiful
9th of June
pondering words
and swallowing thoughts
filling up on gibberish
i thought made sense
until i pushed them all together on my tongue
and
swallowed....
incomplete sentences
8th June
one song on the radio
changing laughs
to
rememberings...
heart recalls what
flesh desired...
and
we sigh, listening...
and, heaven help us,
singing the last refrain
in tears
June 2nd
reaching...past conscienceness
feelings blooming
within me....
watered by my own tears...
they now bloom
and i
richer for having
for those few moments..stopped to plant the seeds
28 May
(a friend's pain)
so sad to see friends self destruct....
for want of finding themselves
i watch him lash out..
not knowing who he is flaying at..
the pain..the sudden grief..the..passion lost that never was
the self inflicted wounds..
as he tears
his flesh.....
his pain....
his heart....
so sudden came the loss
cyber
cruelest at best
when one doesn't live up to
the exceptions another thrusts upon them
can one remain
a third party
when watching
pain
erupt from the soul of
one you care about??
is there such a thing
once the dance has started
do we know the ending...
or relish the chorus
the repeated refrains...
the myriad of verses...
asking for them to play it again again..
memorize the steps..
the notes..
the crescendo..
as we press tighter....
or is it a simple minute waltz...
either way....
we danced as one...for that song
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
in silence i sang
just one note
i heard just one note
and it became so repetitive..
that i buried it deep with in me...
only when..
you reached close..
and i felt your lips open..
the note..from you..
awoke the one..i thought i had lost...
now..
we are
in
accord
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
feeling the word
come up over my shoulder...
i thought as a caress..
until i could not breathe..
dying by my own..
lips...
amazing..
the power of words
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
experiencing life..
taking risks
i am being tired of collecting moss on the north side....
i wanna be a rolling stone....
for once..in my life
May 23
in silence i held my love for you
so tightly to my breast.
i thought i would explode..
until
one note...
i began to sing..
and now..
heck..i can't shut up..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
it started as what i first thought was a weed,
but i let it grow..
to see if i could identify...
around it i watered..and tendered it so..
now..
so glad i did...
for it is the most beautiful
thing i know
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
daily i inhale from his fountain
breathing in life to me..
the vibrant hues light my nights...
and the scent into my dreams creep..
a most treasured gift
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~
on the tip of my tongue..
is a word..
i just can't seem to pronounce right..
here..
can you help me....
pressing my tongue..on yours.....
take, swallow..
and tell me it's name
*i hear you whisper it's name
love
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
waiting a life time
to return to your love..
so glad we connected..again..
for now....
i know all the notes to the song...
so tired of humming just one phrase..
when you have re
minded me of the entire symphony inside of me
inside of us
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
casting and reeling in
not getting a nibble..
oh..except for that one..under my left ear.....
i like
fishing
with you..
*smile*
May 23
one note
quivering....
not knowing how long i can sustain...
i faulter
and hear me sliding down the scale....
slipping
into
silence
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~
inhaling the silence
filling lungs..
pausing...
the pondering begins
beating within my soul
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
closing my eyes
i dream eternity closer...
yet
knowing this moment is the time to prepare
i
begin to cherish each day's breath
leading me home to you
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
how much moisture can the sand hold...
that which crashes from the sea
that which falls from the clouds...
does she ever scream..
no more..
no more
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i know these stars have
scientific names..
familiar names..
yet..
i think we should
find new ones..
that one..on the right..
the song of truth..
the one on the left...
the arrow of love..
and here...look closer...
as i find the ones in your eyes
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
tickling my flesh
the words you speak
i can not hear..
for you are whispering into
quiet places..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
releasing from depths.
sounds filling the air...
as crashing tides merge
inside of me....
building crescendo of a new song's birth
May 22
with eyes towards him
i watch feeling the lance in his fingertips..
pointed at me..
for sure this time..
his aim will be true...
how was i to know
sleeping beauty
rested just behind me..
capturing his gaze....
alas.....
again...the empty pain
May 21
the love you so freely gave
when my heart was aching
my body breaking
it was your tenderness i inhaled.....
healing me with your kisses
your love
until i could breathe
on my own..
now we share the same air
the same smiles the same
heart..
you have mended mine with your own
May20
traveling on alone
i think i am
forging a new trail....
the verdant landscape seems untouched..
lost in my thoughts of
exploration..
i am surprised to see a bridge ahead....
wishing you would have shown me this way
i would have helped you construct
ties to the other side
May 19
when you read
my words..
do you..
hear me..
or is it your own voice..
echoing back
hollow.......
shh..
pause...and listen
May 16th
when tears run down cheeks
and all hope is lost
pausing
to glance at our feet
and we notice
we walk among flowers..
nurtured by our own....sorrowful tears...
we can enjoy these fragrant blooms..
and know life
lives again...within us
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
fingers creeping on keys
a vowel....
and then some soft consonant sounds....
forming lips
reading words..
shared with all
meant for one..
touching.....each with their tender caress
May 16
without you tonight
i would have been in tears
and silently dying..
yet..
now..
i laugh..and grin..
and am alive..
thanks........is too small a word..
give me another word that has at least double the letters..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i think
now, this is just me...
mind you..
that people are placed in our lives
for a purpose..
and at a time..we need them..
now, it is up to us
to take that chance....
but..
ooh the rewards...
and i am glad i stumbled over you...*S*.
or was it you..that tripped over me..
when i was down..
who cares...*holding your hand..we are friends now*
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
building in sand is
by some considered foolish
yet it is good practice
for more solid
carving...
give me cedar
give me pine
i think i have perfected
sand
~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
skin built of weathered sand..
is the quickest to crumble..
for the moisture is gone from within..
given to others....
and left...
a hollow shell..
do not breathe too hard..
it won't be your fault
if i crumble...
you just didn't know
May 15
bursting forth
as hues previously unknown
erupting..
filling the skies.......
love cascading back to earth
holding my umbrella
up
side
down
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~
water cascading off my face
rain?
snow?
sleeet? or hail?
why must the postman always deliver
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~
one star
then two
three and four.
hopes dreams...
waiting.
for them to fall upon me..
why oh why
am i so scared of heights..
and on ground wait......
watching ....for the next one to fall
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
when i had my eyes checked..for these new bifocals..
the dr told me..that my tears..fall from the middle of my eye...
for they are shaped that way...and they get dry...
now i know why....the tears flow straight down my cheeks
May 14
pausing..
gathering words...
a few from the cracks on the floor..
and a handful from under the napkins on the bar...
scooping up some...from the far dark corner.....
*handling these carefully, with just my fingertips*
and then....softly..putting them....
into
me
May 11
silent is the night
the changing of the guard
the time....ticks on..
and morning pleads on night's heels
to come..
and with her light..
brighten the world..
oh darkness...please stay
a little longer..
i don't know if i can bear the sun.....today
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
a hiccup in the night
a passing comet
or perhaps man's doing....
pausing.....
the earth stops...
or was that just my heart
May 9th
though your fingers
my flesh..did not touch..
with each swallow of your words..
i felt....
you entering me...
with each pause in your words..
the shape of your lips was formed upon my skin
how did this happen....
so quickly
so suddenly...
i am just glad it did
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
if i knew the dance
would have been so short..
would i have still taken your hand...
oh do not doubt....
i love the minute walz...as well
*laughing*..ok..no garth brooks......
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i see your words..
meant now for another
and i don't even have to read..
i hear your voice...
swallowing
and saying the same phrase to me....
and still the moisture flows..
and you don't even know...i am touched by you....again
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
do not blink
when this you read
i need to
plunge into your mind..
and this is the easiest way...
hold still
May 6th
sad ... self pity .... words
Walking a tight rope I saw your eyes, leading me across to the other side...
No fear, as I walked step after step
Until you blinked...
Then I realized how far I was in the air
How far on the wire I had walked
Oh God, where is that safety net
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
My skin I thought had toughened over the days, years, months
Oh who was I to fool myself..
I still bleed...
Damn, I still bleed
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Do I really need ten toenails..
Take that one, as my heart is ripped
I am sure one less won't matter...
Who needs ten
Really..
I am sure, I shall walk again
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
and do bandaids come in
huge
sizes..
to cover the space
where you used to be...
egads...
who would have thought you would have consumed so much
of me..
already
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
we never even touched...
why do i feel this
ripping of my internal organs..
what pull did you get so easily on me..
ooh.
i know..
it was i that put you in me..
and ooh it felt so good..
foolish me...
again
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i didn't know my roof leaked.
but here i sit.
with rain..
running down my face...
i better go look for that leak.
and find a bucket.
i think i am going to be sick
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
does a ruptured achilles
feel the same as a ruptured heart..
for one i know i have felt
the other...
now..i sense beginning
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
can you feel a
scab as it starts to form...
will i know..
when i can again
tenderly touch the place where you resided..
if only for awhile....
yet...consumed me...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
can one care too deeply about friends..
i think not..
oh silly me...
such a fluid line..
and i fear....it was my feet that...
stirred the current...
while you walked the shore
May 5th, 1999
thoughts
touching fringe
of remembering..
wishing
they would just
disappear.
or
come back into focus..
soon
May 1st
standing on tip toe
so many stars..
wishing on them all..
until
the right one
falls upon me
April 30
breathing in the night..
words of friends on the air...
feeling them
come to me..
a breeze..in the night..
and..
i swallow them all
April 26th
rolling off my tongue and lips..
Words..
come capture their flavor and essence
before they disappear in the night
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
words washing over me
bathed in their beauty..
as you apply
them..
with your
tongue's stroking
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
painted in vibrant hues..
the flower buds.
opening..
with the coaxing of your voice..
their faces upward turn..
renewed with life
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
lifting my chin
and finding your lips
waiting
to capture mine..
before i can speak again..
my words..lost upon your tongue
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i see you not with
eyes of flesh..
but how the spirit sees..
your beauty rises..
from your eyes..
and lips..
you are perfect....
inside and out..
for you share purity...
honesty......
and i am blessed...to call thee friend
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
you touched me once..
and though your fingertips lingered...
too quickly
my flesh chilled..
and you were gone
amazing how soon one grows used to
the pulsing of one's touch
Sunday April 25th
today
we are the accumulation
of all the
yesterdays in our life..
ooh...
how i wish i would have known earlier..
the things...
i would have changed...
but....then..
would i ...
now be me??
*i smile*...
i can't imagine being..anyone else
April 23rd
with feet upon path
the accumulation of previous seasons waste..
we tread
until..
we can walk free....
stay near me...
guide my memories..
lead me..
onward
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
at first
fear of heights kept me earth bound..
and then
i soon....forgot to look heavenward....
became entangled in the
tendrils of life...
oh...
you have cut me free
and released their hold..
may i soar...
and ....
free once more become
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
sometimes my feet hurried..
the path well worn..
and i forgot why i was walking so fast..
what was so important..
so..
i paused
pondered
and....
breathed..
and in that moment... i knew..
to slow..
enjoy...
and meander as i walked
for it is the journey..
not just the destination
that we are meant to enjoy
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i thought the song...i heard in my soul was only mine..
the notes, melody, and haunting chorus
until one day
i listened.....
and heard across the room...
a repeating refrain..
now i can no longer call the song mine alone..
for....
you know it
too
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
today slips through fingers..
quickly becoming yesterday..
yet..
the future holds only more....
the song..builds..
and eternity is ours...
to grow..
find..
and....
become..
one
April 22nd
scrambling on my knees..
collecting words
dropped from
pockets..
and scattered by fingertips...
some ...not knowing the power....let them fall..
others..give freely..
and in so doing...
i am fed....
a buffet of thoughts...for my soul
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
reaching with words...
past plastic..metal..glass....and
the sound of typing....
the emotions of the fingers..
heart..
and soul..
reach me...
deeply...
as
one turns a phrase .... a key to my heart
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
listening
the surf
the wind
the night noises
yet
above them all..
your sigh
pierces me...
in it's silence
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
in silence
eyes meet...
and no words need be spoken..
but
until that time..
my fingers fly
and i can only
pray
you read between......the pauses
and mispelled words
April 16th
making lists
following through
do this first..and the...
progression of dominos in line..
oh heck with it..
let me..for once..
just
do...
without thinking...
dare i?
i shall make a list of the reasons why...
ok?
April 15th
Starting on a path, thinking I know the way,
But, after awhile, I realized, no joy
So...
I jumped that track, slipped off that path,
And forged my own trail...
This time
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
One step taken in the fog....
Just able to see the next,
Each one,
Leading onward.....
Faith prevails, I am not alone
But feel, you near
March 22
walking together...
the path..opens up..
and miracles will happen...
as we.
share truth...
light.
knowledge..
and release the song..in those we touch....
16 March
swallowing your words..
your air..
the very breath you cast aside..
i draw deep into me...
so hungry i am
feasting upon your soul...
merging with mine...
March 15th
we smile
at the online words of
strangers...now friends...
yet
walking past
in safeway aisles...
we would not recognize
the fingers that typed
the words..
that
touch us....deeply
March 9th
I read the pauses...
the place where you swallow
waiting for
the next thought
and in that silence
I
hear more..
than combined letters can ever pronounce
March 7th
words...
i chat for words
the way they leave one's lips
and across the miles
on breezes...winds..
carry......
the typing of emotions on fingertips.....
the way people can touch
without feeling...
the way we can see
without sight
we feel
hearts touching....
unknown...souls
joining..
merging....
sharing......
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
your smile
reaches me
and it is
reflected in my face...
not of my making..
but...
your creation
thrust upon me...
and
i smile
February 21st
words touch me
pierce ice cold flesh
burning....
melting tears long frozen
you're too kind
or eyes too blind
February 21st
my fingertips upon the keyboard
often
stop
and
ponder the feel of your flesh
instead of the hard plastic
and i
slow
my typing..
caressing..
each key.....
as i would
your skin
February 20th
you touch me
with your words...
yet....
i feel you entering
me...so naturally
as if....
as if...it had always been so
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
pooling at my feet
are your tender emotions..
and words...
dripping off my flesh...
soaking so deep into me..
to cherish during those
days of absence....
when memories then
i must bathe in
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i hold out my
upturned palm...
patient
waiting for your return...
watching you
swooping from love to love.
returning..
renewed....
learning patience
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
simple melody
complicated chorus
fingers fumble frantically upon frets
trying to stay on key
now i sing...
my own song..
melody
off key
but the song is mine..
i know it by heart
February 19th
come..and rest in the palm of my hand....
gently..
i feel your flight...
and return..
each time..
bringing back to me..
a greater love
and knowledge..
fly...and in that..
i find joy..
the freedom..
of us..
always growing...
how i love your ways
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i have become
stronger
because of
the times i fell
i have become more tender
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
touch me once more
before
the night calls my name..
and the darkness
wraps its self tighter.....
February 18
take just one note of the song..
and hold it upon your tongue...
swirl it's taste..deeper...
back of your throat.
until you are
swallowing
and feeling it warm you..
spreading......filling
consuming you
until you can hold it no longer..
and beg for another
note
to be placed....within reach
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
dripping off me..
pooling at my feet
the song..
i stand in..
wrap myself inside of it's comfort..
notes..so pure..
so warm....caressing my very soul
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
the pure energy
from deep within
now blending..
more than flesh ever can..
the touch of souls..
as they unite
to one....
igniting...all in it's path
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
we had forgotten for a time..
but, once the song begins
it comes surging back..
and we can never return to the emptiness..
the non-remembering state..
we are
now.......the song..
and we louder sing
more pure
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
sometimes so softly she creeps..
we find ourselves humming her song.
unaware...
until it fill us..
totally
and we then
see through...her eyes...
the song.....
pure truth
February 11
with one note
you touched me
cracked open my chest
and freed from within my
soul
the matching sound
and now
silence
can never be...in me again...
February 17th
inhaling moments
textured so frail
finely spun webs
of emotions
February 6th
your hands..pressing to my lips..
inhaling the scent......of your hands..
the sweet fragrance of the emotions you hold
tipping my head back,
and feeling them
slide down my throat....
yes.....the feelings...you share..
tasting upon my tongue..each one..
before
slipping it deeper into me....
and in the tasting..
the familiarity of many of my own...
emotions.......
so similar..to the giver...
is the receiver
and in the receiving..
the one giving...
touches....
shares...
and..
i am blessed to know you
feel your words..
and drink from your finger tips
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
feeling you flood my soul..
with such contented knowledge
truth
that from you i take...
and lick each drop from your palm...
and finger tips...
so parched am i for the truth
so well you know me
the sensations of the soul
and flesh
now born anew
worldly woes falling around me..
as i become drenched in
your pool
of sharing....
January 29
today a day of mixed emotions..
life taken in it's prime..
yet, no more suffering.....or pain
making one realize the gift of life..
of breath..of children....gone too soon....
i rejoice in what i have..
mourn for that which is gone....if only for the season we call life...
knowing one day, to see this fair child again
my husband's nephew....16..
after a bone marrow transplant...
January 28th
the memories of love can never die..
it is those dreams of the future..
the ones we know we will be missing..that will now never happen
that we mourn....their loss of..
January 27th
one step higher..
when upon the mountain peak
the air might be thinner..
we gasp...
we take nothing for granted...
each step, perhaps a struggle..
but, oh..
oh what a view....when our
eyes........can finally see
January 23rd
remind me
never
to be
a hollow tree
where messages
are slipped....
and retrieved...
my soul can't take
the
doubts
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
and in listening to all
my views are expanded..
my eyes open,
and my own values often challenged...
i learn through words
emotional charged ones....soft whispers, and loud pounding ones..
i am an adult,
and i can choose which will affect/effect me the most..
when too intense,
i can leave my computer and return to real life..
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i was watching babylon 5
and they have the grey council..
the intermediaries..
the ones between light and dark..
good and evil..
at one time i thought grey was...negative.
yet, so many shades of gray....
and filtering of good through them.....
some shades...almost transparent...
i think perhaps you are reaching that...
shade...
i often call me
an opaque facade....
that kind of shimmering you can almost see through....
perhaps your
transparent grey lies
in the rainbow near my own
January 23
time slipping through my fingers..
i thought to collect..
the moments..
and found i was struggling in the present..
to recapture the past
futile..
at best..
Jauary 22
when clutching a moment.
too tightly...
ooh the pain..as one's own nails..dig into palms..
and crush that which
they tried so to protect...
enjoying the moment..
and feeling it as
it passes over..
as a delicate breeze...
you sweetly inhale..
January 20th
my soul
clutches tightly
those memories
hard to break
through the
self woven threads
i have bound them with
January 19
watching the dying embers
softly lighting the room..
i remember their first flames..
the garish light..
now...so much more pleasing
in their soft beauty
reflecting my soul
January 16
across the water
a bridge...
linking both sides..
and often i wandered to your side..
and saw things..
i took for granted....
thanks for the link to you
January 15
A gem with many sides, each reflecting a part of you in me.
Polish with care, and let us shine.
Increase the luster as each time we touch.
Burnishing the edges is not recommended.
Enjoy the me in me, as I do the you in you
January 14th
letters mingled with your scent..
senses alive as words i read
from your fingertips
to my lips
in movement..
reading...
swallowing..
January 10th
come
touch me with your words
let them drip off me
and pool at my feet
let the phrases encircle me..
as flowers...blooming...
a garden, in the middle of winter...
come...bring spring
January 9th
the words
spoken from lips so far
yet reaching places
even touches of those
near, can never find..
heart opening..
and racing..
when...
words touch souls..
as you have mine
January 3
sometimes when i catch you looking at me
i know it is not the same imagine in the mirror
that i see..
that you are gazing upon..
but..
the me..
that lies hidden..
cowering..
afraid to be seen..
yet, in your view..
i come alive..
and...
you see what others pass by...
you see the
real me
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i think back on words i said
now more conscience of their insignificance...
and shallowness..
since you have shown me
another way to see...
i blink
and things look new...
in you
January 1st, 1999
If you have enjoyed my ramblings, or even if they bored you,
Perhaps, you would like to check out a home page of a dear friend
Richard ... grey ox
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