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Nelly Cung
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Chapter 13, April 9th, 1999
First off, I would like to thank those that have written me e-mails from last chapter's request about MIDI programs. I have no intentions of getting back to all of them, but thank you very much!

This week, I did NOTHING BUT WORK...... WORK WORK WORK WORK... that's all I did.... But not to CONrastinate myself to the extreme, even I'm not that crazy to do that. I had plans for a very busy weekend, but unfortunately, I cancelled it.

My efforts, however, were not in vain. I need this break more than anything. I will be doing nothing this weekend but RELAX, because I deserve it. Too many awesome weekends wears one out... I need some time to just relax. (Though it can still be considered awesome in my present state.)

So, what exactly were my plans for this weekend? The Spring FTX (Field Training Experience)! In other words, a 3-day war between two opposing teams, I wanted to go, but thought better. (Not to mention the friggin' cramps I had today.) This trip would've taken out the entire weekend. Starting from 1715 on Friday until 2400 on Sunday.

I'm pretty sure it would've been worth it, and I was anticipating on going. Doing all of my homework during the week for this week and the next one. That's ALL I DID! I got about a total of 9 hours of free time (not including sleeping or eating). I spent, nearly 5 of those hours on a new art project that I'm doing (A large drawing of the title character in an anime series(Japanese cartoon), Kenshin.)

Enough with the intros, to the point of this chapter. This section is supposed to be "ABOUT ME!" I am rethinking my life plans. I always knew that my words from the first chapter were only tentative and expected change, just never so soon.

I planned to write this chapter after this weekend actually. After this semester my military career will come to an end. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, and learned more from this course than any other course, but to stay in here would only to kid myself. Am I going to let competition, demand, challenges, et cetera overpower me? Of course I am, I could never become anywhere as good as the people that are here. It's not a question of endurance, but ability. I know I am not able to be the best in this field, however, unlike many other fields, they do not hold such a burden on the future, or more importantly, life of my men (meaning soldiers). It's hard to describe, but here, I don't care about myself, what is important is the mission at hand.

Back to the topic. I'm have narrowed down my major to the following four: Accounting, Economics, Finance, and Marketing. Just for "on-paper" purposes, I am putting down Marketing, because it requires the most amount of creativity. I wouldn't really consider Accounting other than the fact that Government Intelligence loves them, and I still have dreams of going into one of them. The way I figure it is I can still get in without using the military as a stepping stone. After earning my degree(s), 3-4 years in the workplace, I will then apply for a position.

Only one thing stops me from going into there though, Love. I never even considered this a factor, until one night, a few months ago, sitting in the backseat of a car, behind a young couple. Somehow, it made me feel very secure almost like a child again, a nice feeling. I have always considered being single for life, outside of flings, I only had one love in my life (how ironic that today is his birthday).

An intangible aspect, yet so powerful. Do I want a mate? What about (a) child(ren)? If so, is it worth giving up my dream? More importantly, am I even good enough to fulfill it anyways? Months ago, the answer was so clear... What I do know is, if I do decide to "settle down," I won't be leaving my family for extended periods of time, as it (the occupation) requires. Such hard questions, but I still have time, I suppose.

I have plans to transfer to Rutgers University for nearly a year now. With this in mind, I tried to keep my actions in the social scene low, however, I failed miserably. I have made friends here that I know I will miss, and become closer to many than I originally did not even allowed myself to ONE person. Just some things can't be helped, but I have managed to keep my heart in check, for it has done enough foolish things to have an IQ so low it makes Forrest Gump look brilliant. Regardless, I am unable to control those hearts after mine, but rejecting men has been an... ahem.... "overpracticed exercise."

Seeing how it is that love is the big deciding factor, the big question is 'Should I keep my heart in check? Or not?' Status quo, I have no one in mind, should I continue it? I have thought of stopping my practice of rejecting EVERY guy, not neccessarily on "giving them a chance," but just holding off on my own pride of being the one to ask all the time...

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Nelly Cung Archives Pictures-Coming soon!
		Chapter 13, April 9th, 1999 First off, I would like to thank those that have written me e-mails from last chapter's request about MIDI programs. I have no intentions of getting back to all of them, but thank you very much! This week, I did NOTHING BUT WORK...... WORK WORK WORK WORK... that's all I did.... But not to CONrastinate myself to the extreme, even I'm not that crazy to do that. I had plans for a very busy weekend, but unfortunately, I cancelled it. My efforts, however, were not in vain. I need this break more than anything. I will be doing nothing this weekend but RELAX, because I deserve it. Too many awesome weekends wears one out... I need some time to just relax. (Though it can still be considered awesome in my present state.) So, what exactly were my plans for this weekend? The Spring FTX (Field Training Experience)! In other words, a 3-day war between two opposing teams, I wanted to go, but thought better. (Not to mention the friggin' cramps I had today.) This trip would've taken out the entire weekend. Starting from 1715 on Friday until 2400 on Sunday. I'm pretty sure it would've been worth it, and I was anticipating on going. Doing all of my homework during the week for this week and the next one. That's ALL I DID! I got about a total of 9 hours of free time (not including sleeping or eating). I spent, nearly 5 of those hours on a new art project that I'm doing (A large drawing of the title character in an anime series(Japanese cartoon), Kenshin.) Enough with the intros, to the point of this chapter. This section is supposed to be "ABOUT ME!" I am rethinking my life plans. I always knew that my words from the first chapter were only tentative and expected change, just never so soon. I planned to write this chapter after this weekend actually. After this semester my military career will come to an end. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, and learned more from this course than any other course, but to stay in here would only to kid myself. Am I going to let competition, demand, challenges, et cetera overpower me? Of course I am, I could never become anywhere as good as the people that are here. It's not a question of endurance, but ability. I know I am not able to be the best in this field, however, unlike many other fields, they do not hold such a burden on the future, or more importantly, life of my men (meaning soldiers). It's hard to describe, but here, I don't care about myself, what is important is the mission at hand. Back to the topic. I'm have narrowed down my major to the following four: Accounting, Economics, Finance, and Marketing. Just for "on-paper" purposes, I am putting down Marketing, because it requires the most amount of creativity. I wouldn't really consider Accounting other than the fact that Government Intelligence loves them, and I still have dreams of going into one of them. The way I figure it is I can still get in without using the military as a stepping stone. After earning my degree(s), 3-4 years in the workplace, I will then apply for a position. Only one thing stops me from going into there though, Love. I never even considered this a factor, until one night, a few months ago, sitting in the backseat of a car, behind a young couple. Somehow, it made me feel very secure almost like a child again, a nice feeling. I have always considered being single for life, outside of flings, I only had one love in my life (how ironic that today is his birthday). An intangible aspect, yet so powerful. Do I want a mate? What about (a) child(ren)? If so, is it worth giving up my dream? More importantly, am I even good enough to fulfill it anyways? Months ago, the answer was so clear... What I do know is, if I do decide to "settle down," I won't be leaving my family for extended periods of time, as it (the occupation) requires. Such hard questions, but I still have time, I suppose. I have plans to transfer to Rutgers University for nearly a year now. With this in mind, I tried to keep my actions in the social scene low, however, I failed miserably. I have made friends here that I know I will miss, and become closer to many than I originally did not even allowed myself to ONE person. Just some things can't be helped, but I have managed to keep my heart in check, for it has done enough foolish things to have an IQ so low it makes Forrest Gump look brilliant. Regardless, I am unable to control those hearts after mine, but rejecting men has been an... ahem.... "overpracticed exercise." Seeing how it is that love is the big deciding factor, the big question is 'Should I keep my heart in check? Or not?' Status quo, I have no one in mind, should I continue it? I have thought of stopping my practice of rejecting EVERY guy, not neccessarily on "giving them a chance," but just holding off on my own pride of being the one to ask all the time...