This innocent looking creature can single-handedly destroy a household before you know it! The trouble is, he is cute enough to get away with it. Oh, such an innocent face--and such a devious mind! This cute little guy showed up on our back porch one day and didn't go away. He developed this habit of looking deep into my eyes while purring. I thought it was cute then, but now I know it for what it really was--hypnotism! What he was actually telling me was "I'm going to come into your life and totally disrupt it. I am going to chew your toes and you will enjoy it. I am going to be the wildest cat you have ever seen and you will merely think, 'Isn't he cute!'"
Here are several entries in my journal--all about life with Argie!
It all started innocently enough, I got up one morning to find all the cookbooks on the floor. No big deal, I picked them up and didn't worry about it. The next morning, it was refridgerator magnets. Again, no big deal--a couple were broke--but that is why God made glue. A couple mornings later it was everything on the coffee table--more books, cat toys, treats, a stone gargoyle (that now has a chip in it), various stuff. Again--no biggie. The next morning it was the stuff on the bathroom vanity--make-up, John's electric razor (that now makes a whining sound). The contact lens solution was poured out on the floor, I still haven't found my contact lens case (with lenses), but I'm sure they are around here somewhere. I haven't searched real well because I'm a little light-headed from the smell of superglue, my glasses hit the floor too--and had to be glued back together. I went to the sunroom to open a window to air out the super glue and found 5 plants on the floor--all in various stages of wilt. That must have been Argenteus' first stop last night--before the destroyed bathroom. Hmmm, several clay pots are broken--more super glue? Maybe I could glue Argie's paws to the floor...would that be animal abuse? No, don't answer that--I don't need to know. Gotta do that vacuum thing, too--maybe we'll play "scare the little kitty"...no, really I wouldn't do that. Do any of you need a little Isaac Newton kitty? He's free--I'll pay you to take him! He will probably do great experiments with gravity one day--he could be famous! really, I'll mail him to you and everything! Any takers?
Ok, Argie has discovered the answering machine. He had been playing around on it and apparently changed the message. I didn't realize this until we had a phone call. I don't answer the phone (because it is usually John's work), so we let the machine pick it up. Imagine my surprise when I heard..."Argie, what are you doing? Are you messing with the answering machine? Argie, get down. Argie, are you listening to me? Alba, get down. Alba, don't smack him! No fights you two! Alba, behave! Argenteus get down! Argenteus Hart/Lee and Zabba Dabba Doodle Whopper, both of you get down now or I will.....BEEP". I have no idea who called, because they were laughing so hysterically they couldn't leave a message. Oh well, that is life with a Toe Monster!
Ok, Argie has gone through discovering gravity, being "on top" of things, inside and outside, being "behind" things, the properties of magnets on the refridgerator, and learning how to change answering machine messages. Now he has discovered "inside" and "under".
I could not begin to name the places I've opened doors and such and was startled when his head popped out. He has been under the bathroom sink, in the cupboard with the dishes, in the pantry, in the linen closet, (one of his favorites) in the bottom cupboard with all the catfood. He has been in the washer, dryer, dish washer, tub, sink, and I saw him trying to figure out how to get in the toilet. We always keep the lid down and he hasn't figured how to get it up yet--now doubt he will figure it out soon.
We keep tons of pillows and blankets around the house for the comfort of our cats, and they have been noticeably lumpy lately. After sitting on him several times, we have learned to check everything before we sit down. And if we are lucky enough to find a chair that is unoccupied by Argie, he is usually underneath it looking for an ankle to grab. We have quit inviting company over while we wait for Argie to work his way through his latest phase--I wonder what is next on his list (scary thought)? I would hate for him to be the cause of some innocent person having a heart attack when they go to open a cupboard and have a cat pop out in their face!
I know I've asked before and I'll probably ask again, does anyone need a Toe Monster? Cheap? I'll even throw in a set of ginsu knives! PLEEEEAAASSEEEEE!!!
You know, I thought I was getting used to Argenteus' eccentricities, but when I woke up this morning with all those gloves in the bed with me, I was shocked. The first thing I thought was someone was in the house with me (I don't know why). Then I saw Argie reclining in the middle of the pile of gloves and I knew what was going on! That cat is more than strange! So,I asked him what he was up to and he just squinted up his eyes and started purring. Just another Argie thing, I guess.
I called John to let him know the latest Argie collection, and he asked me if there were a pair of beige leather gloves with sheepskin inside. I looked and sure enough they were there. He was thrilled, seems he has been trying to find them since we moved last year. What a Toe Monster, John may actually forgive him for killing his christmas cactus for the return of those gloves, that is, if Argie will let him have them back! Argie is now busy moving all the gloves into the guest bathroom bathtub, that is where he keeps all his collections. Such a strange little boy--I think that is why I love him so much!
Love to everyone and munch, munch from Argie (that is the sound of him chewing on meowmie's toes)
We had to bell Argie yesterday.
Remember, he was the one sneaking out when I fed the outside strays in the mornings. We were going to bell him for his own good. Well, I failed to think about listening to that d*mn bell all night long (well, with the exception of the hour I did actually sleep)! And now I have that stupid Christmas song, Jingle Bell Rock, running through my head, and I can't GET RID of it!!! EVERY time he moves, that d*mn bell JINGLES!!! Not a good thing for a hyper cat!!! *VBG* But I did hear him coming in time to close the door before he escaped this morning, so that is a very good thing. I will get used to it (I keep telling myself), after all I DID get used to John's grandfather clock (and it was much more annoying!)! Ah well, Argie is a cute cat. Ummmm, John's up, I should go and see if he got any sleep...he's the one that has to go to work. *snicker* Jingle bell, Jingle bell, Jingle bell rock...........