Inevitable Clouds

A man shouldn't let himself indulge in feelings of unease and shouldn't lock himself with the side he doesn't approve in his wife rather he should mention other qualities of good that she possesses.

Certainly he would find a lot to praise her with. The Prophet pbuh said, " A believer would never hate another believer (his wife). If he hated some manner from her, he would be pleased with another." (Muslim)

If he got so pessimistic and thought that he hates her completely, then let him know that these feelings are rarely true and that one might destroy his sources of well being and benefit.
That's why Allah Almighty said in the Quran:

Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good. [4:19]

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Mistakes of Divorce

Despite the devastating consequences that hit the society when tearing down of a family happens as a result of a reckless action, and despite the noticeable status Islam provided to the family through its fixed teachings, Muslims have been awfully unjust to themselves in the recent years when they forgot or ignored their religion�s methods regarding this important subject.

They deliberately ignored some rules and left things to unwise minds to distort some others.
A practical and legislative chaos came as a result of that.

Take for example the request for arbitration when couples fail to resolve their differences. Muslims almost all agree on neglecting this rule and rarely seek to rescue the drowned family through this way.

Though in the Quran it was stated so clearly:

If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation: for Allah hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things. [4:35]

What is the secret of this negligence?
Is it indifference in seeking reconciliation among people?
Or is it the desire to make children orphans while both of their parents are still alive?

This is a total blindness from Allah�s guidance.
Divorce in Islam starts as a halt for the marriage relation not an end for it!
In the same way an employee is placed on suspension until the rule comes out regarding his coming back to his work or not.

This is why Islam ordered women not to leave their homes when they are divorced.
Men have no right in forcing them out of it.

Do Muslims comply with that?
Do women stay at home when they hear the word of divorce?

The publics are not aware of this meaning and do not apply it in their lives. A woman would immediately leave the house the moment she hears this ugly word, and even if she thought of staying, her angry husband would force her out.

Are these childish emotions the execution of Allah�s order:

O Prophet! When ye do divorce women, divorce them at their prescribed periods, and count (accurately) their prescribed periods: and fear Allah your Lord: and turn them not out of their houses, nor shall they (themselves) leave, except in case they are guilty of some open lewdness, those are limits set by Allah�[65:1]

When Islam ordered a woman not to leave her house when divorce happens, it only meant for them to wait until the storm clears out, consciousness moves, attitudes revise, memories of the past and consequences of the future come back, and children�s circumstances studied if there are any.
Running away from home right after hearing the word of divorce would waste any opportunity for settlement, for things to get back normal again, and for righteousness to prevail over foolishness.
This is why Allah said:

�And anyone, who transgresses the limits of Allah, does verily wrong his (own) soul: thou knowest not if perchance Allah will bring about thereafter some new situation. [65:1]

Despite that, Muslims go beyond the limits of Allah in this area.

Divorce is not a word to be said at any time or expressed in any form.
Allah has set a certain method or way to be followed.
A medicine cannot be considered a cure just because it contains some ingredients that fixes the problem rather it must be taken in the way prescribed by a doctor, one dose or pill after another.

If some one invented a way of his own never prescribed by the doctor then when a catastrophe occurs he can blame none but himself for it.

Divorce allowed by Islam has specific markings set for it:

First of all, it should be in purity period where a man hasn�t already had sexual intercourse with his wife, and not while she is in her menses.
If a man had the intention of divorce he should wait until the end of her period and he should abstain from having sex with her afterwards then he would express the divorce totally aware of what he is doing�. And with that the wife would expect her waiting period clearly at home.

�Divorce them at their prescribed periods, and count (accurately) their prescribed periods�[65:1]

This is the Sunna (way) known of the Prophet pbuh. It is the same way ignored, and disowned by the majority of Muslims!
A lot of the scholars deny divorce if was not done this way, for example when a man divorces his wife in her menses.

Such a divorce is Haram (unlawful) and is not approved.
The evidence on that is that it occurred against the legal way.

The Prophet pbuh said, �Whoever invents something that is not from our religion, it is returned to him.� (Muslim)

Strangely, Muslims don�t know in their dealing together anything but this invented divorce!

The majority of scholars deny it, but if they all had agreed on refusing it then it would have been good, but unfortunately some of them accept its consequences.

We in our turn see that truth and best interest is in despising and refusing it altogether.

Then the contamination of accepting divorce spread where it shouldn�t occur in so many issues.

Divorce became a kind of swearing and the most favorable oath among public!

This is completely wrong, one shouldn�t swear with divorce.
Swearing is by Allah or one of his most beautiful names. Such a swear by divorce has no value whatsoever.

The same applies for confirming doing something or not by swearing by divorce or as is called suspended divorce.
Such thing is kind of nonsense that has no effect whatever on marital life.

Then what is the value of divorce committed by the drunk and those on drugs and who is like them from those who are irresponsible and don�t mean what they say, deny their intention, or make suspicion around it.

Marriage is a contract that is not established except after consideration and intention, so is ending this marriage should be after consideration and determination.
That�s why most of the divorce that runs on the tongues is regarded closer to nonsense than real divorce.

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