Family is the natural habitat for both sexes and the only pure place of stability for their relationship.
A human is a half person alone and he won�t reach his perfection unless the other part joins in.
Sexual desire- if we correct our view of it- is a secondary factor in the family formation or can be considered as a helping passion.
But the honorable, elegant foundation is the company built on affection, friendliness, and harmony.
This is the foundation pointed out by the Holy Quran when mentioning the story of creation:

It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love). [7:189]

This dwelling means the stability of both senses and behaviors and ones feeling safe that he is with a person whom he gains with, comforts by his presence, finds tranquility beside him and seeks joy with him at times of upset.
To understand marriage, as only a sexual bond is deterioration in thinking and sense�marriage is far higher than this and larger.

Meditate Allah�s saying:
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. [30:21]

But building homes on this spiritual reality is something that needs a lot of education and discipline or in a more proper expression it needs a lot of good manners and religion.

The relationship between couples is deeply rooted and extendedly attached.
It resembles-in means of strength and attachment- the relation of one to himself. That�s why Islam paid a lot of care in preserving it, tried to elevate its essence and to preserve it from the outside and within.

They are your garments and ye are their garments�[2:187]

Abi Sa�ied narrated that the Prophet pbuh said, in the meaning of �The worst of people on the day of Judgement is a man or a woman who reveals the secrets of their sexual relationship to the others.� (Abi Daoud)

A good manner with the wife is a sign of Faith, � The best amongst you is the best to his wife, and I�m the best amongst you to my wife.� (Al-Hakem)

The Prophet pbuh said, �All that a man plays with is in vain except his playing with his bows and arrows, the disciplining of his horse, and his playing with his wife, all these are from the righteousness.� (Tirmidi)

Look how Islam regarded this special link between spouse kind of righteousness.
The Prophet pbuh said, � The best of this life�s pleasures is a good wife.� (Muslim)
With this text, man was taught that the best thing to accompany him in his life and help him through duties in this life is a good mannered and kind wife described in another Hadeeth.
�� A wife that pleases him when he looks at, obeys him when he asks, and doesn�t disobey him in herself or money by doing things that he hates.� (Tirmidi)

This wife is the foundation of a happy house and its main corner. Relationship among the family is immortal. It extends beyond this life where after departing from this life and being separated they are joined once more in the hereafter in the same way they were together in this life.

Gardens of perpetual bliss: they shall enter there, as well as the righteous among their fathers, their spouses, and their offspring: and angels shall enter unto them from every gate (with the salutation). [13:23]

And in the cause of this joining together there is no harm for the remiss children to join their diligent parents.

And those who believe and whose families follow them in Faith, to them shall We join their families: nor shall We deprive them (Of the fruit) of aught of their works: (Yet) is each individual in pledge for his deeds. [52:21]

If families of faith are to remain in paradise, then other families are to remain in what they deserve of torment.

"Bring ye up," it shall be said, "The wrong-doers and their wives, and the things they worshipped Besides Allah, and lead them to the Way to the (Fierce) Fire! [37:22-23]

It is amazing that these human relations remain attached and bonded together.
But our amazement seizes if we comprehend the nature of marriage life prior to having children and after it. It is built over the highest passion of friendship and companion hood.
A passion in which each mate knows the secrets of the other then under this relation offspring of the new generations are raised. There have never been and never will be an environment purer or worthier than a family for bringing children up.
Indeed under the wings of a caring mother and hard working father- which are of the strongest and deepest human feelings- children are raised, taught, disciplined and straightened.

That�s why protecting the family is of the greatest of obligations and paving the way for it is of the most important ways that bring us close to Allah.

* * *

* * *

Marriage is a Free Bonding

For the sake of elevating the foundation of a family and to enhance its pillars Islam established the following great principles:

* Marriage is a free bonding between two free-willed parties where no man or woman is forced to get married to whom he/she dislikes.

It might happen that a girl is coerced out of weakness to marry whom she has no desire in.
Islam in this case rules that this coercion has no value whatsoever.

It was narrated of Khansaa� bint (daughter of) Hozam Al-Ansariah (a female companion) that her father coerced her - she was not a virgin, may be divorced or widowed- to marry against her well, so she went to the Prophet pbuh and he refused her marriage. (Bukhari)

It was also narrated that a woman (a virgin) came to the Prophet pbuh and complained that her father married her to someone against her well so the Prophet gave her the freedom of accepting this marriage or refusing it. (Ahmad)

In another narration it is mentioned that she told the Prophet pbuh: my father forced me to marry his brothers son to elevate his status and position among the people. The Prophet told her �it is up to you to approve or refuse this marriage.�
She said:
I accept my father�s choice for me but I did that for the women to know that their fathers have nothing to do in this matter.(Bukhari)
She means that the fathers have no right in coercing their daughters to marry whom they dislike.
But the Fathers and those who have custody in general have the right to object to the contract if the woman accepted to marry a scandalmonger, an imposter or someone who would abuse her because na�ve girls often fall in the traps of these quacks.

If the marriage wasn�t made to an eligible person then the judge has the right to abrogate it after the custodian�s objection.

Islam has allowed women to behave under the limits of reasonability:
�There is no blame on you if they dispose of themselves in a just and reasonable manner�[2:234]

The standard for measuring eligibility is religion and manners not kinship or fortune.

The Prophet pbuh said, � If a man whom you are satisfied with his religion and honesty came proposing for marriage but you refused to do so this would be considered an ordeal in earth and a great corruption.� He repeated it three times. (Tirmidi)

* * *

Man is the Lord of the house

Man in Allah's legislation is the lord of the house and the custodian of the family. This quality is a property of obligation and responsibility rather than of honor.

The aim behind it is for the house to run according to a common order not according to conflicting desires or struggling needs. It is nonsense for any partnership to run without a responsible leadership.

Leaving the hold of things in a woman's hand is not a reasonable thing and is beyond her strength.

Man on the other hand is more capable than his woman in running the house and leading the family.
It is because of what Allah has given him from tolerance and toughness and this vast ability towards earning and spending, He was given the priority over women.

Allah said:
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard... [4:34]

In some house things might get the opposite and the woman appears to be more capable than her man�in this case leadership is taken away from him and his position moves to his wife.
Such an uncommon situation doesn't make the general rule inapplicable because it occurs in limited situations.
It is better to take into consideration the nature of life that needed such a rule.

And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise. [2:228]

Establishing this principle hasn't prevented Islam from setting a set of teachings that explain the rights of women over men and men's rights over women.

These teachings have provided such a good for the family that it can fill it with piety, honoring, love and cooperation. In them you would find ensured guarantees for the married life and its stability.
Greater assurances were provided for the children to be raised well enough for them to get form psychological health what would ease their minds and pleases their lives.
The Prophet pbuh said - men are to be taught the rights of women, and what should be given to them from honoring and respect and women should be taught about men's rights and what should be given to them from respect and gratitude.

Maimon Al Kurdi narrated that his father heard the Prophet pbuh say,
"Any man marries a woman on a known dowry - large or small - and it was in his intention not to give her right and died cheating her, he would meet Allah on the Day of Judgment as an adulteress.
And whoever asks for a debt and it was in his intention not to pay it back to its owner and died, he would meet Allah on the Day of Judgment as a thief." (Al-Tabarani)

Ibn Omar said:
I heard the Prophet pbuh say, "You are all shepherds and responsible for those who are under you custody.
The Imam (ruler) is responsible for his people, Man is responsible for his family, a woman is responsible in her husbands house, a servant is responsible for his lord's money, and all of you are responsible and will be asked about your responsibility." (Bukhari)

Aicha (the Prophet's wife) narrated that the Prophet pbuh said, "The one with the most perfect belief among believers is the one with the best of manners and the kindest to his wife." (Tirmidi)

Mouawiah bin Haida (a companion) said: I asked the Prophet pbuh: What is the right our wives have on us?
He said, " To provide her with food, with clothes, never to hit her on the face, never say ugly things about her, and never leave her house if you didn't sleep beside her (when angry from her)." (Abu Daoud)

Abi Hurairah narrated that the Prophet pbuh said,
"If a woman performed her Salat (Prayers), didn't commit adultery, and obeyed her husband she would enter Jennah (Paradise) form any gate she desires." (Ibn Haban)

Ibn Abbas said that a woman came to the Prophet pbuh and said Oh messenger of Allah I was sent to you as a representative of the women.
Allah has imposed Jihad (fighting for the sake of Allah) on men. If they won they would be rewarded and if they got killed they would be alive near Allah in blessings.
As for us women what do we have from all this?
He said pbuh, "Tell whoever you meet from women that obeying the husband and admitting his right equals all that but a few among you does it."

Zaid bin Arqam narrated that the Prophet pbuh said, " A woman doesn�t pay Allah's right until she pays her husband's right.
She shouldn't prevent him from her at any time." (Al-Tabarani)

But it is impossible for the things to always run smooth at house. Turbulence might blow and things might get cloudy because this is of the natures of people.
Expecting total comfort and pure pleasure is a mere illusion.

Rarely would man living alone or with others lead a stable state of pleasantness and lack of blame.
It is reasonable for one to train himself on accepting some discomforts and abandon bitter blaming on them or stressing huge results on them.

Since a man is - in Islam's view - Lord of the house and the leader of its matters, he is expected to put up with things that might not appeal to him sometimes.
Yes he is asked to be patient with some unwise behaviors because seeking perfection in a house is far from reach. Also his woman becoming just as he expects is beyond all hopes.

That's why the Prophet pbuh said, " I advice you to treat women kindly. They are made of a limb and the upper part of the limb is bent. If you wanted to straighten it up you would break it and if you left it as is it would remain bent so take care of women and treat them kindly." (Bukhari)
In another narration, " a woman is created from a limb, and she'll never straighten up on one way you want. If you want to enjoy her you can do that with while she is that way. If you tried to straighten her up you would break her and breaking her is divorcing her." (Bukhari and others)

And this is what Islam doesn't want to happen.

* * *

Among the psychological deformities is the one concerning ungratefulness towards the favors of the husband and belittling them.
A woman whose behavior is built on being ungrateful towards her husband and ingratitude towards his efforts in providing for her is constructing a way to herself to Hell fire.

Ungratefulness and tending to forget favors is so common in people's manner men and women alike.
As if honoring and respecting those who helped you is a great burden to bare.
It is considered kind of lowliness that might lure some people to stop doing well to others in the sense expressed by a poet:

What tempted me not to do any kind of good,
Is the no thanking I receive from people I have favors on.

But ingratitude might have a place in public life but for a man to notice it in his wife's behavior is considered one of her biggest sins and the Prophet pbuh regarded it as a reason for her to deserve Allah's punishment.

In a Hadeeth, "Allah Almighty doesn't look upon a woman who doesn't praise her husband while she can't live without him." (Al-Hakim)

In another Hadeeth, "I was shown the Hell fire and I found that the majority of its people are from women because they deny. He was asked: Do they deny Allah? He said, "No, they deny their husbands' and they deny kindness. If you've been treating one of them kindly a whole year then she witnessed something she didn't like from you, she would say I have never seen any good thing from you." (Bukhari)