Troy
RATING: 6.5/10

Review Date:        May 15, 2004
Director:             Wolfgang Petersen
Writers:              David Benioff
Actors:                Brad Pitt as Achilles
                           Eric Bana as Hector
                           Orlando Bloom as Paris
Audience of Choice:                 Action/"Pitt" Fans
Year of Release:  2004

STORYLINE: In the year 1193 B.C., Paris, a prince of Troy stole Helen, Queen of Sparta, away from her husband, Menelaus, setting the kingdoms of Mycenaean Greece at war with Troy. The Greeks began a bloody siege at Troy that lasted over ten years. Achilles was the greatest hero among the Greeks, while Hector, the eldest son of Priam, King of Troy, embodied the hopes of the people of his city. To actually understand any of that shit I just said, read The Iliad.

MY REVIEW: I decided to wait a while before I actually wrote my review for this movie, and the reason for that is I expected something out of this film I shouldn't have. I needed to just except that little fact and then give this movie the rating it deserves in terms of pleasing specific fans. The people that are going to like this movie are proabably the following: males with a taste for gigantic computer generated armies marching around for two hours; or girls who love screaming about how cute famous actor's butts are......*groan*.....

      Now here's the deal with my rating. The reason this movie gets a nice, solid rating has nothing ot do with how much I specifically enjoyed the movie, but rather how much I believe the majority of others will like it. Young teen girls will go ga-ga over the extremely exploited men in this action-heavy flick, while the teen guys will likely be pleased by the constant war battles. I, on the other hand, found myself enjoying the action at times, but was still getting frustrated at others. This is a very well made movie, but after THE LORD OF THE RINGS, I'm seriously already tired of huge war battles with millions of computer generated characters running about. Enough already!!! If the CGI wasn't noticeable, that would be a different story, but then again, it's basically impossible to make it not noticeable, thus proving it pointless to argue about. Hmmmm.....maybe......if you can't do it right, YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT AT ALL! That's my new motto with movies. Isn't it great? Shut up, it is so.

      Now on to complaints that actually matter. Considering the movie destroyed any substance that could have been carried out from the awesome book, I didn't see why it was necessary to try to include shit that was never in the movie. If you have read the book, you will see what I mean, and if you haven't, don't worry about what doesn't effect you. (Think relationships people........fucking Hollywood influenced love interests- Ugh!) Anyways, I'm done with complaining. Many people should love the actors and action, but if your looking for a faithful and interesting adaptation of THE ILIAD, look elsewhere. This is action all the way, and even though the basic plot is the same, the tone is way off....at least that's how I see it. But hey, if you're reading this review, I doubt you care about substance anyway. (Yes, I mean YOU!)

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