Skinner checked his watch. Almost 2, and no one was dead yet. Which, considering that at least half of the group was armed, approached the realm of minor miracles. Of course, the food hadn't been served, so there was still plenty of time. He leaned back against the back of the booth, and silently watched the odd group that had rounded out what was originally intended to be a small, intimate lunch with Serendipity Murphey and her mother. Somehow, it had expanded to include Agents Mulder, Scully, and Colton... a volatile group at the best of times. And Skinner had an idea that lunch at a painfully fake Irish pub and grill did *not* count as 'the best of times'.
Still, everyone seemed reasonably urbane, he thought as his eyes swept over them. Scully and Colton were wrangling over the Clinton situation, punctuating their points with vicious jabs of their breadsticks, while Mulder looked on with interest. He might be wondering, as Skinner did, when the two agents would realize that they were arguing the same side. Serendipity had her head bent down close to her mother's, both of them apparently oblivious to the outside world. Skinner let his eyes linger on Serendipity's dark brown hair for a moment, his gaze contemplative.
These past few days had been one of the few times in his adult life when he did *not* know what kind of relationship he had with a woman. Serendipity was not his idea of a perfect mate. She was an agent in the Bureau, for one, and he was technically her superior, though they worked in different sections. For another, he usually left her company bruised... and not in an entirely good way, either. That had been getting better lately, he admitted. Well, except for the scratches. A smile touched his lips. Those had been rather fun.
The smile faded as he reflected on the word. Fun. That was one of the things that attracted Skinner to her so strongly. He always felt a little different when in her presence. Like smiling, or laughing, or going across town to some horrible-looking *pink* bar. Or having lunch with Tom Colton, of all people.
"Sir....sir? Skinner?" He blinked and refocused on the world around him, to find everyone staring in his direction. Mulder cleared his throat, and repeated, "Didn't you have the...ummm... 'Patty o' Fish'?"
"Oh, yes." The waitress gratefully plopped the plate in front of him, then served the others. They all stared at their food with varying degrees of curiosity and disquiet.
Scully cleared her throat when the waitress left, poking her fork at the gravy covered substance before her. "Mulder, *I* pick the place next time, okay?" She pulled the fork back, and grimaced as the gravy made a brief bid for possession of the utensil. It gave up with a wet shlooping sound, and Skinner could see Colton go a little green across from her.
Tom looked down at his own plate, a stew that seemed to roll slightly on it's own, and the green tint to his skin became slightly more pronounced. "Um, you know, Serendipity, A-anne, I think I've... got a meeting to be at. Ummm, right." He went to stand up, and found himself tugged downward by a woman's hand clamped around his wrist.
"Oh, no you don't, Colton. You invited yourself to lunch, so you're going to eat lunch," Serendipity's voice held steel. She didn't look at him, her eyes were fixed on the dubious looking steak she'd ordered. Colton dropped back into his seat, unconsciously positioning himself as far from the stew as possible.
"That goes for you, too, Mulder," Scully muttered, casting a baleful blue-eyed glance at her lanky partner. Mulder glanced up from his inspection of the "Auld Sod Burger" and smiled innocently.
"Wouldn't dream of leaving, Scully. I think this thing is about to achieve sentience."
Skinner glanced at his own meal and blanched. "I think mine already has." The chopped and fried fish meat read "YUM". The rest peered over at his plate.
"I...*think* they arrange it like that," Scully said, and her lips pursed thoughtfully. "I hope so, anyway," she muttered. Skinner nodded slowly, then glanced at Serendipity.
She shrugged. "The guidebook said it was an experience."
"It is that." Skinner suddenly realized that one voice had been glaringly absent from the food review, and he looked towards the end of the table, where Anne Murphey sat. He figured she must be speechless in horror... he almost was. Instead, she was munching quietly on a crisp, green salad, with every evidence of enjoyment. The rest of the table's occupants followed his gaze until they were all staring, wide-eyed, down at the older woman.
Anne smiled widely, and took a sip of her water. After swallowing, she grinned happily and said, "I always order a salad and water at a new restaurant. They're the hardest things to mess up." At the rueful faces around the table, her smile took on a decidedly smug tint, and she set back into the salad with a will.
Skinner let his eyes drop to the almost empty salad bowl, then hurriedly glanced away, before the thought of fighting for it could completely surface in his mind. Instead, he looked at Serendipity. She sighed, and one corner of her mouth twitched upwards in a smile. "Mea culpa," she whispered. He shook his head slightly, and smiled back. It was worth it, he figured, to see Colton turn green.
The object of his fleeting thought lunged to his feet, and backed away from the table before anyone could grab hold of him again. "Er, Serendipity, Anne, Dana, I've *really* got to go."
"Aw, c'mon, Tom," Anne exclaimed, her eyes gleaming wickedly, "It's not like they served you roast rat or anything. The salad's good... even the black bits."
"Mother!" Serendipity exclaimed, even as Tom turned a remarkable shade of pale and stumbled away with only a mumbled good-bye. Anne shrugged, and patted her daughter's hand, while Mulder, Scully, and Skinner stared after Colton.
"He wasn't for you, dear. Too squeamish,"
Serendipity glared. "I never said he was, but *who* was talking about manners just a while ago?"
Mulder and Scully, apparently sensing a parent/child argument in the making, both stood at the same moment, and made their own hasty good-byes and throwing a couple of dollars on the table. Skinner nodded at them both, but neither of the Murpheys seemed to notice, as they became more deeply involved in their own conflict.
After watching the tennis-like exchange for a moment, Skinner cleared his throat. No response. He tried again, this time loud enough to draw looks from other tables. The women stopped, and regarded him curiously. "Ladies, perhaps we should find another place to eat?"
Serendipity smiled, "Yes, please! I'm starving." She stood, and Skinner scooted out from his place in the corner. They turned to look at Anne, who quickly stood as well.
They each left a dollar on the table, and left. Behind their retreating forms, the Patty O' Fish still proclaimed its silent message, "YUM".
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