A pirate captain somehow got stuck in one of his ship's own cannons and was blasted off onto a nearby island. He tried yelling to the crew to save him, but they did not hear him. He looked around the island and saw some trees. Seeing that he still had his cutlass and some ropes, he cut down some of the trees and tied them together into a raft. He made his back to the ship, and was then brought back aboard. He also decided to bring the trees aboard and have them as keepsakes.

One winter's voyage, the pirates had an infestation of squirrels on the ship! Apparently they had sneaked onto their ship. The pirates found that they were hiding inside the pirate captains' trees. The captain gave his order, and the pirates dunked the trees into the cold, cold water several times. Needless to say, the squirrels left.

What did the pirate captain say to the pirates?

"Shiver me timbers!"

UPLOADED 4.11.08

Mushroom Jokes (written 4.07.07 and 4.08.07)

What do you call a mushroom in battle?

A sporrior!

~~~

What do get when you cross a T-rex with a mushroom?

A dinospore!

~~~

What is a fungus's favorite Shakespearian play?

The Taming of the Shroom!

~~~

What do you call a 20-story tall mushroom?

A humongous fungus!

~~~

What do you call fungi that wave flashlights in movie theaters?

Mushers!

~~~

What did the fungus say to the sled dog team?

Mush!

~~~

What do you call a group of mushrooms in a concert hall?

A spore-chestra!

~~~

What is a fungus's favorite way to serve potatoes?

Mushed!

~~~

What is a fungus's favorite movie?

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Shroom!